Authors: Collette West
I uncap a bottle of beer and take a long swig.
Let me think back.
After she flipped out about the stripping thing, how did we get on the topic of virgins? It was the last thing I was thinking about. But why would she harp on something like that? Was she just trying to change the subject so she wouldn’t have to strip for me? Well, if that was her plan, it worked. Mission accomplished, and I have the blue balls to prove it.
I shove a forkful of chicken into my mouth, but it’s too hot. Cursing under my breath, I gulp down the rest of my ice-cold beer, but my tongue is already burned. Man, I can’t enjoy anything today, can I?
And that’s when the most preposterous notion of all floats through my mind. No, she can’t be…can she?
Holy fuck, I am such an idiot.
Holding on to the edge of the countertop, I mentally kick myself for being so blind. All the signs were there. The answer was right in front of me the whole time. She was just too self-conscious to tell me.
But it explains so much—why she got so shy around me, why she didn’t make a move on me that night in her trailer, why she always gives me a hard time about sleeping around. And I was too dumb to see it. So what did I do? I made her feel even worse by turning her into something she’s not. I was too concerned about my selfish needs that I didn’t even stop and consider hers.
Well, I’m going to change all that. Tonight, I’m going to give Grey Kelleher the night of her life—the right way—slow and steady.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Grey
I’m half asleep when I hear the door to the adjoining bathroom creak open.
Shit. That one only locks on the inside.
I’m flat on my stomach, too tired to move. It has to be late, so what’s he doing in here? The possibilities make my heart beat faster.
The bed sinks beneath his weight as he crawls in next to me. He’s being awfully brazen. We just had an epic fight and he thinks he can smooth everything over with sex? I’m tired of him using that as a means to an end. For me, it represents so much more than that.
I shiver when I feel him run his hand up my back. I know how vulnerable I am to his touch. I can’t deny that I like what he’s doing to me. This is what I wanted from him before. He has the ability to go deeper. I’ve seen it. Sex can be meaningful—if he’d just let it be.
Like any girl, I want to feel adored, have him exalt in my body. I’ve always wanted my first time to be something special, something I’d always remember. Chase is the one I want to be with, but I want to do it right. No one has ever made me feel the way he does. I’ve fantasized about being with him for so long. He’s just scared of how strong these feelings are between us. He doesn’t know how to handle them. What he doesn’t realize is that I’m just as afraid as he is. He’s used to turning inward and shutting people out. He had the courage to go the extra mile. That’s why he had Noah come after me the night we met. That’s why he wrote that heartfelt apology on my poster. That’s why he put his career on the line to save my reputation. I just need to make him see how much more he’s capable of giving.
His hand travels down to my hip, causing me to bend my knee in response. Now he knows I’m awake, and his hold on my waist tightens as he gently flips me onto my back. It’s like a déjà vu moment as he stares down at me through the moonlight. Only this time he’s not asleep in my trailer. He’s wide awake and caressing my body.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispers ever so softly as his thumb traces circles against my skin.
“Because I thought…” Man, it’s so hard to get the words out. He knows, and I don’t know if I should be relieved or terrified.
“Thought…?” he encourages, his fingers lightly skimming the waistband of my lacy boyshorts.
“You’d think I was some kind of freak.” I curl up on my side. All I can see is the outline of his abs through the darkness. I concentrate on his tattoos, afraid of what he’s going to say, so I keep talking. “You’re experienced. I get that. I didn’t think I would be able to hold your interest for long. And then when you started thinking I was the complete opposite, I let you believe it so I could be what you wanted. But considering the way things went down tonight, that plan obviously failed when I couldn’t deliver.”
“Grey, look at me.” The pleading note in his voice just about melts my heart. I’ve never heard him speak this way to me before—like his happiness depends on it.
I tilt my head, my hair brushing his arm as he props himself on his elbow to gaze down at me. His breathing is heavy, and I’ve never seen him this emotional before. He’s letting me see a side of him I didn’t know was there. I’d only hoped it was.
“You’re absolutely perfect. Do you hear me?” His thumb is strumming across my cheekbone as I lose myself in his eyes. “I don’t ever want to hear you call yourself a freak again. I’m the freak. I’m the one who’s not good enough for you.”
“Chase, you’re good enough for me. You’re the one I’ve always wanted.” The truth rolls easily off my tongue. Things I would’ve been too embarrassed to say a few hours ago, I feel comfortable sharing with him now. If he’s letting go and giving in to this, then so am I. I’m ready to go there with him. “Not many girls get their dream come true. I’m the lucky one.”
“I’m so nervous.” He exhales heavily, a crease forming between his eyebrows.
“You’re nervous?” I ask, reaching up to stroke his face. “How is that even possible?”
“Because I want to do this right. I don’t want to let you down. What if—?” He’s getting himself all worked up over nothing.
“Shhh…” I sit up in bed to settle this once and for all. “Having you make love to me? It can only be perfect.”
“Grey, I’m so sorry about what I said earlier.” His eyes are brimming with sorrow as he scoots up, taking the blanket with him to cover his torso. “I’ve been indulging in a toxic lifestyle. I always thought girls were just using me, so I wanted to use them too. I gave up on finding someone like you. And continuing to live like that would’ve destroyed me if I’d let it. I don’t want to turn you into something you’re not. I want you just the way you are.”
“I’m not saying I won’t try to give you what you need, but I’m not there yet. I just need you to be patient with me. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and only see you as Chase Whitfield. I need more moments like this where I just see Chase.”
“I’ll work at not hiding my true feelings when I’m with you. I promise. I want you to see the real me. I don’t want you to see me as anyone else. I just want to be myself around you.”
“But what if I’m not enough?”
He looks guilty for a minute, like he’s trying to shed some unpleasant thought. “I got confused before. I got all wrapped up in what doesn’t matter. I’ve only ever been able to express myself physically. I never ventured into anything beyond that. I didn’t want to get emotionally involved. I was all about concentrating on the game and using women as an escape. But when I got injured, I started looking at things differently and what was going to happen to me when I couldn’t play anymore. For the first time in my life, I was terrified. Sure, I succeeded on the field, but I was a failure when it came to dealing with my personal life. But you know what? I needed a wake-up call like that. It’s what led me to you.”
He bends over and kisses my forehead, his lips lingering against my skin. The warmth of his body seeps through my Chase Whitfield t-shirt. I don’t want to talk anymore. I want to do so much more.
I run my hands down his chest and he flinches under my fingertips.
“Wait. There’s something I have to tell you first.” He rests his forehead against mine for a minute before drawing back. “At Kings Stadium today, I saw a video of you stripping at The Blue Room.”
I gasp audibly, my cheeks instantly turning red. My first instinct is to panic, but he grabs a hold of my wrist, keeping me in bed next to him.
“Don’t worry. The Kings are taking care of it. It will never see the light of day. I can assure you of that. I hate that anyone else had to see it, but every single copy will be destroyed. You have my word that I’ll make sure it happens. I don’t want anyone else ever seeing you like that except for me.”
His eyes darken as he pulls me onto his lap. I can feel him beneath the folds of the blanket. He entered by bed completely naked. Realizing that, I can’t stop my knees from squeezing his waist as I wrap my legs around him. I should be mortified that senior members of the Kings’ staff saw that video, but all I can think about is Chase’s reaction to it.
“Grey, after I watched it, I went out of mind. It was all I could think about. You have no idea how incredibly hot you are, and that turns me on even more. I was like a wild man when I got you back here, desperate to have you reenact what I had just seen, but this time doing it just for me, only for me. I wanted to be inside that video. I’m afraid I didn’t handle it very well.”
I brace myself against his lean, athletic body, my hands on his biceps. Readying myself for what’s about to happen. I’m not afraid anymore. I’m more than ready.
“I’m sorry the first time you got to see me naked was on video. I can only imagine how difficult that must have been for you. Having to rely on visuals without being able to touch…or taste…what you were looking at.”
I lean back, tugging my Chase Whitfield shirt over my head and tossing it aside.
He moans from deep in the back of his throat, shifting himself beneath me. He gazes at me like I’ve just given him the best Christmas present in the world before becoming enthralled with my breasts that are jiggling in front of him. He cups them with both hands, kneading them with his fingers. I’m not prepared for how quickly just his touch pushes me to the brink, and I fall back onto the bed, spreading my legs and letting him do whatever he wants to me. His tongue replaces his hands, and it doesn’t take much to get me off.
My vision blurs, and I’m transported out of my body, floating in a cloud of bliss above it, as my heart beats in double time. I close my eyes and allow myself to slip into this feeling of complete relaxation. There’s not an ounce of tension left in body. He relieved it all. I’m vaguely aware of him chuckling above me as I come back to earth.
“Now that was fucking incredible to watch,” he says, his voice husky. “And if all it took was massaging your breasts and playing with your nipples, just wait until you see what else I have in store for you. That was only the beginning.” He captures my lips, kissing me passionately as he presses my body into the mattress, no longer hovering over me as he covers my petite frame with his long, hard body. Coming up for air, he pushes my hair away from my face and smiles down at me. “Get ready. I intend to give you a night you’ll never forget.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chase
Today is the official start of my invalid status, but I can’t get over how adorable Grey looks while gingerly walking around the penthouse, packing for our trip back to Stockton.
It’s probably not the best day in the world for her to be taking a road trip. I can’t help my mouth from turning up, knowing that I’m the reason, remembering how she took me in, opening herself up to me, and how good it felt to be inside her.
As far as first times go, it was way better than the practice run I was anticipating. She was ready for me from the word go. I thought I was going to have to hold back a little, but she kept urging me on, coaxing me to give her all that I had—and then some. Let’s just say I didn’t get much sleep. I’m not even going to hassle her for the keys to her truck. I’m spent. I can barely keep my eyes open. For once in my life, I’ll be a willing passenger. She can drive me wherever the hell she wants.
Grey’s shorts have the word ‘cute’ embroidered across the backside. But I really like them because they’re super short. I grip the handle of the crutches Luis just brought up from the lobby as she bends over, giving me a plunging view of her cleavage through her skimpy white tank. She’s never dressed this provocatively around me before, and I wish we were staying in all day. I’ve already noticed how men eye her up. And I don’t want anyone getting a glimpse of the legs that encircled my hips last night or the swell between her breasts where I buried my face as she called out my name.
Watching her go about the ordinary tasks of folding her clothes and zipping her bags, I can’t help but feel possessive of her. It’s like there’s this imaginary cord connecting me to her, and it’s only going to get stronger the more times we’re intimate with each other. Last night, I took great care to memorize every inch of her body—every dip, every crevice, every spot that elicited a reaction from her—and I can’t wait to do it again.
“We’d better get going,” she says, hustling by me as I give her a quick swat on the butt. “Hey, keep your hands to yourself, mister.”
“Try and stop me.” I lean in and give her a kiss, but she pulls away with her hands on her hips.
She looks down at the two bags I have ready to go. “Is that all you’re bringing with you?”
“I travel half the year. I know how to pack light.”
“So you’re not planning on staying long?”
And there’s the question I don’t want to face.
“Honestly? I don’t know yet.”
Her disappointment is evident, especially after last night. But I’m still a little spooked by this whole commitment thing. It’s better to ease into it. Her trailer is claustrophobically tiny, and I’m a guy who needs his space. I have to be careful that I don’t get so caught up in the moment that it ruins everything down the road.
“I know it’s not what you’re used to.” She’s trying to be brave. It’s killing me to have to be like this, but it’s better if I play it safe for now.
“It’s just that I’m going to have to come back and see Dr. Brownstein on a regular basis, check in with the Kings trainer, shit like that.”
“I get it. I never expected you to leave New York permanently.” But the uncertainty in her tone doesn’t match the words that are getting lodged in her throat.
“Grey, even in the off season, I’m in New York practically every other week anyway. There’s always stuff going on. It’s just how my life is. I’m never in one place for too long.”
“Are you going to want me to go back and forth with you?”
“It’s up to you.”
“Because if I still have my job, I won’t be able to get that much time off.”
What is she talking about? She can’t go back and work in the mall. Not now. Whether she realizes it or not, her new profession is being Chase Whitfield’s girlfriend. She’s not a regular, everyday person anymore. She’s with me now, and there’s a certain image she’s going to have to maintain. Waiting on the general public isn’t going to cut it.
“Grey, you don’t need to worry about having a job anymore.”
Her eyes flash with anger. “Says who?”
“Says me.”
“So now you’re dictating what I can do? Do you think I’m just going to stand back and let you run my life?” She juts out her hip, schooling me on what it means to be a supportive boyfriend.
“Not your entire life, but things are different now. You have to see that.”
“I’m not going to be dependent on you if that’s what you mean.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder, driving me wild even though we’re in the middle of a serious discussion.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I want you to be able to pursue your own interests. Do what you want.”
“Just as long as it coincides with what you want.” She purses her lips, tilting her head to the side.
“Grey, you can’t return to some minimum wage job just to prove a point. You know how that’d make me look? Like a complete asshole.”
“Well, maybe it isn’t about you,” she says saucily.
“C’mon, be reasonable. You know who I am. You know what’s expected of me, of you, of both of us,” I plead with her, needing her to understand where I’m coming from.
“So you just want me to shut my mouth and play the part? Is that it?”
“No, I want to help you find a better job, one I won’t get crucified for in the tabloids. You don’t have to make this harder than it has to be.”
“And you’re just going to wave your magic wand and set me up in some new position?” She sounds put out when anyone else would be jumping up and down at the suggestion.
“Why are you being so difficult? I’m just trying to make this work.” That’s what couples do, isn’t it? Help each other out?
“But why am I the one who has to change while you keep on doing what you’ve been doing?”
Her stubbornness is coming through loud and clear. We’re both headstrong, and we’ll probably always be butting heads, but we’re going to have to learn to compromise in order to make this work. If this is our first official test, then we need to be able to give and take right from the start.
And it’s up to me to call her on things, like when she’s not exactly telling the whole truth. “Grey, I’m on crutches. I’m out for the season. Not exactly business as usual.”
Determined to sulk, she props herself against the end of the couch. We knew this wasn’t going to be easy, especially in the beginning. We’re both control freaks, used to getting our way. But she’s going to have to give up a lot more than I am, and I have to recognize that. I can’t take advantage of her.
“Grey, you know I’m going to need someone to take care of me for the next six months. I feel guilty that I’m the one who’s going to be dependent on you until January. I hate being knocked off my feet, unable to play. It’s a transition for me too. Just knowing you’re going to be there for me is the only thing getting me through it.”
“But I’m not a nurse, Chase. I’m not even qualified to help you.”
“We’ll figure it out. Just give me these next six months and then we’ll take it from there, okay?”
She knows I’m trying my best to appease her as she walks over to me and nestles herself against my body. Even though everything’s up in the air, there’s one thing I’m certain of—I can’t be without her.
“Don’t hug me back,” she cautions as I start to let go of my crutches. “Keep your weight off your knee.”
Yeah, she’s definitely going to take her caretaker duties seriously.
“But what are we going to do about Noah?” She tugs on the front of my shirt. “Did you try calling him again?”
“Yeah. He’s not picking up. It keeps going straight to voicemail.”
“I called the office number on the business card he gave me. His dad picked up and said he heard from him yesterday and that he was supposedly coming back to Stockton.”
“Do you believe him?”
“I don’t know, Chase. I don’t think the man would lie, especially when it comes to the Kings. That’s a big contract he was awarded. I don’t think he’d want to endanger his business relationship with them, do you?”
“It’s just weird the way Noah ran off like that. I mean, if he’s innocent, why didn’t he stay and hash it out with us, whatever it is?”
“I just don’t think he’s capable of hurting you.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because he sounded really sincere when he told me about J.J.”
Shit. I didn’t want Grey to find out like that. I had every intention of sharing what I went through with J.J., but there was never a good time. I held back because she’s going through so much with her mom right now. That’s all I need is to flaunt one more reason why my life is so much better than hers. My sister survived a cancer diagnosis and Grey’s mom is most likely going to die. It’s not fair. It’s not right. But I don’t want it to become a constant reminder of just how different our situations are. I could afford the best care for J.J., but what if it’s too late to do anything for her mom?
“Noah shouldn’t have said anything.”
“He didn’t mean to. It just slipped out. He thought I already knew.”
Her implication is clear. She’s mad that I didn’t tell her. But I don’t want to get into it with her right now. We have to go.
“I’m just not used to talking about it with people. No one outside my family knows the amount of suffering that J.J. went through. With Noah, I don’t know. It was just one of those moments when I needed to talk to someone. I had to get it out. I was sick of keeping everything bottled up inside. But I never thought he’d betray my confidence like that.”
“He didn’t, Chase. As far as I know, he only told me.”
“And you really think he had nothing to do with that video?”
“I seriously doubt it. I’d be shocked if he was involved.”
“Keith is his friend, and he did bring me to his restaurant. It could’ve been a set-up from day one.”
“But Noah’s nothing like Keith.”
“It doesn’t mean Keith didn’t talk him into it. Maybe he has something on Noah.”
“We gotta get back to Stockton, Chase.”
“Yeah. The sooner, the better.”