Nick and Lilac (7 page)

Jason: Yeah, definitely her. Enjoy, brother. Try sneaking in a good night kiss if you still have it, old man.

Asshole,
Nick thought, but he was grinning.

Inside, Nick wasn’t surprised when most players and employees greeted Lilac either by her first name or what Lilac called her “IGN”, whatever the fuck that meant. What Nick was
not
used to at all was having a tall good-looking blond wearing glasses call out Lilac’s name. He seemed younger than Nick, and he was too fucking buffed for someone who no doubt spent most of his time in front a monitor.

The younger guy wrapped Lilac in a bear hug, and Nick began to count. Three seconds. That was all the time the jerk had to release Lilac before Nick killed him. It was that simple.

Lilac pulled away just as Nick was about to order his security team to seize the guy.

“Boyfriend?” Scott Thornton’s shout was barely audible over the combination of rock music playing from the sound system and the noise blaring from all sixty pairs of high-definition speakers on the floor.

But she got what he was asking and Lilac shook her head with a grin, relaxed in a way that she could rarely afford to be in the company of most men. The dedicated players here would probably recognize Scott as the guy who devised the #1 co-op shooting game for the last three consecutive years. But to Lilac he was just Scott – the boy next door who knew her secret and had never told anyone.

“Friend,” Lilac corrected with a grin and managed to joke, “I…took pity on him because he’s suffering from a broken heart.” She turned to Nick, giddy to see how he reacted at her first joke in his presence but her amusement faded when she saw the cold look on his beautiful face. “N-Nick?”

Dimly, Nick heard the trepidation in Lilac’s voice but he didn’t look at Lilac, didn’t dare look away from the guy who stood too close to the girl he considered his.

Too close.

It didn’t matter if they were only supposed to be friends.

They stood too fucking close.

The longer Nick stood ignoring her, the more she felt herself going rigid. It was like…it was like James punishing her in the past, making her feel shamed and dirty and ready to do his bidding just so he’d look at her again and make Lilac feel human.

Lilac tried again, hoping she wouldn’t fail this time.

But she still did.

“N-Nick?”

The stutter in her voice made Lilac grip the ends of her shirt tightly, holding on to it so she wouldn’t be tempted to cover her mouth and draw more attention to what she had just done. Her teeth clamped down, but it was too late, her body was already shaking as old fears threatened to take over.

S-s-s-stutter some more, baby.

I-I-I’m g-getting h-harder, baby.

Stutter, fuck you, stutter!

Nick turned sharply to Lilac, something primeval inside him sensing her pain. What he saw in her face made him pale and then he was stalking towards her, closing his arms around Lilac tightly. “Breathe, sweetheart,” he whispered harshly against her hair. “Breathe.”

Lilac suddenly gasped out loud, as if she had just been released from someone’s stranglehold.

Gradually, she became aware of Nick sweeping her in his arms, his security team forming protective lines around them as Nick strode towards the end of the gaming station. Her blurry gaze took in Scott’s concerned face, and she squeezed her eyes shut when she realized everyone was looking at them, their heads moving back and forth to Nick and her and the rest of his entourage.

The attention
hurt.
Even though she knew none of the people here meant her harm, it still hurt because they reminded her of another audience, of onlookers who weren’t as nice.

Yeah, that’s it. Make her stutter some more. It’s gonna make you cum harder, dude.

Damn, her mouth’s hot. Those teeth clamp around your dick hard, man. Can’t I fucking borrow her?

Ah shit, I’m gonna masturbate to this video every fucking night.

Lilac wanted to curl into a ball when she felt Nick deposit her in a recliner seat and heard him take the one next to her. The noise level was still the same around them, but somehow it sounded as if it was coming from another world and she was all alone with her pain.

A silent moan escaped Lilac.

Warm lips pressed against her forehead, fingers twining with hers. “Sweetheart, please.” Nick’s voice was taut with worry. “Whatever it is---stop thinking about it. I’m here now. I won’t fucking let anyone harm you.”

His breath swooshed out in relief when he felt Lilac’s fingers slowly tighten around his. Turning to face her fully, he gently cupped her chin, making her look up. Silently cursing at the way she couldn’t seem to make herself look at him, Nick said roughly, “I’m so sorry.” And he was, feeling like a goddamn tyrant, punishing Lilac for smiling at another man.

More silence passed, and just when Nick was about to lose hope, Lilac whispered, “Was it...because of…what I said?”

He didn’t pretend to misunderstand what she was asking, answering unevenly, “Right now…she could go to hell for all I cared.”

Lilac’s words came out broken. “
Then why…were you…mad?”

This time, he made her look at him. “Because you seem to like that guy and I know he fucking likes you already.” His tone hardened. “Do you, Lilac? Do you fucking like him?”

She shook her head.

It didn’t ease his jealousy one fucking bit. “But you were smiling at him.” Nick tried to keep the snarl out of his voice but failed. All at once, everything came back, the jealousy and possessiveness that had frozen him earlier. “You were smiling at him like you never smiled at me before.”

Nick was furious – there wasn’t any doubt about it. But more than that, Lilac heard the betrayal he was doing his best to hide. Nick’s pain called out to her, made Lilac throw off the cage of her own pain because she couldn’t bear to hear someone this beautiful and proud to feel…
rejected
.

She looked at Nick, her hand moving involuntarily to touch his face. She was so afraid to stutter, but she made herself speak because she needed him to stop hurting. “Sor…ry.”

He laughed hoarsely. “I’m the one who’s hurt you.”

“Hurt you…too.” She shook her head. “Sor…ry.” She stopped, her pale violet eyes seeking his uncertainly.

When Lilac started to draw her hand back, as if she had just realized she was touching him without invitation, he caught her hand and kissed her palm.

She stilled.

He kissed her palm again. Closing his eyes, savoring the softness of her palm against his lips, Nick said hoarsely, “Don’t smile at another guy like that, Lilac.” Just saying the words brought the memories back, but this time Nick didn’t let it beat him, didn’t let the past ruin his present.

Karla…was gone.

Lilac…was here.

He had to start remembering that.

He opened his eyes, and this time he didn’t let go of her gaze. “I know we’re just fucking friends but it doesn’t matter
.
If you smile for me alone, I’ll…” Nick laughed mirthlessly. “I’ll fucking reserve all my smiles for you if that’s what you want.”

The words wrapped around her like a gentle and warm embrace, and Lilac blinked furiously as tears pricked her eyes.

Nick Christakos wanted to smile for her alone.

It was everything she hoped for, everything she didn’t dare dream – everything she had reason to fear.

“Just smile for me, sweetheart. Just me – and I fucking promise you, my lips will only move for you.”

Oh, the tears stung, and oh God, how her throat hurt. Lilac wished she had the words to tell him that it gutted her, too. What they had – this friendship that wasn’t really a friendship – oh, how it
fucking
gutted her. So much that she was frightened by it.

But she couldn’t speak like Nick did. She couldn’t speak like everyone did, and even as Lilac hated herself for it, she was already trying to do the next best thing, reaching for his hand, twining her fingers with his and then squeezing. Nick slowly squeezed back, and her heart squeezed alongside it.

The intangible presence of old hurts weighed heavily in the air, and she tried to lighten the mood, wanting Nick’s smile…like he had promised her. “Tell…you…what.” Lilac squeezed his hand. When he looked up, she said very seriously, “I will…make it up to you. I will…let you kill me five times without putting up a fight in the game.”

Slowly, his chest eased, his breathing becoming regular and his heartbeat speeding up for so many reasons as Nick realized what Lilac was attempting to do.

Nick smiled.

Lilac smiled back at him, a goofy smile that he had never seen on her face. It made him laugh out loud, even as a part of him found it equal parts adorable and fucking arousing.

When Nick still didn’t say a word, Lilac said solemnly, “Last chance. Are you sure…you don’t want to take me up…on it?”

“Five times?” he murmured.

“Five times,” she confirmed obediently.

“I want a different deal. I will accept your apology if you let me kiss you five times.”

She blinked.

Ah, sweetheart. That’s not going to help.

Lilac opened her mouth, and he swooped in, sinking his fingers into her dark luxurious hair as his lips covered hers, his tongue entering and tasting her. Lilac gasped against his lips. He tightened his hold on her hair, pulling her closer, kissing her more deeply, urging her to let go.

“Kiss me,” he muttered against her lips. Around him, he could feel the gazes swerving towards them, but he didn’t give a fuck. Let them stare if they wanted to. It wouldn’t make Lilac York theirs. This girl was his, and sometimes both of them needed to be reminded of it.

“Kiss me,” he commanded again. “Or I don’t count this as the first of five.”

Her eyes widened.

He gave her another chance, his tongue darting forward once more to boldly explore her mouth. Nick could have groaned when he finally felt Lilac respond, her tongue slowly and shyly touching his. The connection was explosively hot, and he dragged her into his seat, leaning back against the leather seat so that Lilac could straddle him.

She was deliriously hot and unbelievably bothered. Worse, she could not get enough of Nick Christakos’ kiss. On the back of her mind, she could feel more people looking at them. The sight of couples kissing wasn’t uncommon here, but she had never done anything like this before, and she knew they were all wondering about Nick, about who he was and if he was her boyfriend.

Oh, if only he was!

God help her if he was!

It was so, so very confusing.

But now, the only thing that made sense was the beauty of Nick’s kiss, and the heat of his caresses. She moaned softly against his lips when his hands caressed her back before settling on her waist and squeezing it, as if he wanted to measure what was his. Nick’s hands slowly moved up and Lilac moaned again, wishing he would move his hands faster but at the same time she wished he would slow down, too.

Nick’s fingers brushed the undersides of her breasts, and she whimpered even as she thought that everything was going too fast. He cupped her breasts and she moaned against his lips as his hands cupped her.

“Bite my lip.”

B-bite m-my c-cock, d-darling.

FUCKING BITE IT YOU BITCH!

She wrenched away with a gasp.

The fear in her pale violet eyes extinguished the lust raging through his body instantly. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

Lilac shook her head at him, biting her lip hard as her chest rose and fell so rapidly it was as if she had just run a mile.

“Okay,” he said quietly, trying to soothe her. One look at her face, and Nick knew Lilac didn’t want to talk about it. “Okay, we’ll stop.” He carefully lifted her back into her seat. “Maybe it was too fast, too soon,” he said softly even though he knew it wasn’t. Whatever happened – Nick instinctively knew it had something to do with why she was seeing Dr. Petersen.

He threaded his fingers through her hair, unable to keep himself from touching Lilac. He half-expected her to twist away but she did not, instead looking at him with a mixture of apprehension and misery.

He understood in a flash. “It’s not your fault.” Nick cupped her face. “I mean it. It’s your right as a woman to stop me. And though it hurts like hell, and I’ll probably have to take ten cold showers later – I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

A wave of humiliation washed over Lilac at Nick’s gentleness. “S-sorry,” she choked out, hating herself for what she had done and then hating herself more for stuttering again.

“Hey.” Nick tipped her chin up. “It’s okay. No harm done.” He smiled at her. “Besides, I have four other kisses to claim, remember?”

Her eyes went large at the reminder, turning into the gaze of a porcelain doll.

FUCKING BITE IT YOU BITCH!

Lilac quickly shut her eyes, but it just wasn’t enough to ward off the memories of how low she had sunk in the past, just to
earn
the love of a man who had never really loved her in the first place. She whispered painfully, “No…more…kisses.” She couldn’t – she just couldn’t afford to be that weak again, not even for Nick Christakos.