Authors: Michael Poeltl
“
It is a good idea,” Sonny conceded. “I volunteer. We need to know.”
Earl added, “Those of us that go on this mission will also take the opportunity to catch up with Gareth’s group.”
“
That’s right. We should catch up with the flag army and, while keeping a safe distance, observe and later report on any activity. If there are others north of here we don’t want Gareth getting his claws into them and recruiting a new army.”
“
Should we really send some of us away when we just barely defeated the last attack on the house?” Julia wondered. “I mean, we wouldn’t have won that war at all if the flag army hadn’t supported us. I think it’s not such a good idea.”
“
I’m not saying that it won’t be a dangerous move on our part,” I admitted. “Yes, you’re absolutely right that without Gareth’s help we’d have probably been overwhelmed last time, but this is something we’ve gotta do.”
“
It’s a mistake!” Julia insisted. Her agitation grew. “It’s a mistake!”
Before she could say more, Connor took her by the shoulders and walked her out of the addition, whispering into her ear.
Kevin spoke up. “I’m not going to say it’s a bad idea, but I’d rather stay here and defend the house.”
“
Okay,” I said. “It’s your prerogative Kev. All of you have a choice to make.”
“
We don’t want more than three people for this job,” Earl stated. “I’m willing to be one of the goers, and Sonny says he’s in. Who else?”
We scanned the group for a hand hovering above the rest, and saw that Freddy’s had worked its way up.
“
You’re sure, Freddy?” When he answered in the affirmative, I turned to Earl. “Get all the gear ready to go today and also get some rest, as you’ll leave tonight.”
The meeting concluded, and I went outside. Truth be told, it was difficult to be anywhere else. Sitting on a lawn chair, I checked the makeshift connection between our generator and the gas truck.
“
Sorry about Julia’s outburst during the meeting.”
Connor caught me off-guard. I was indulging in a hoot off the pipe and coughed violently.
“
Slow down, man, enjoy,” he chuckled, slapping my back.
“
Shit,” I croaked through a tightening esophagus. Once I could speak again without choking, I asked, “What was that about Julia?”
“
When she freaked out over the plan up there. She’s been brooding too much again. I thought the sun would have been enough to stop that - wishful thinking.”
I breathed deeply, quieting the tickle in my chest. “Now what’s she thinking about? Not suicide again?”
“
No, it’s not about that any more. It’s something else, pretty serious too.”
“
Do you want to talk about it?”
“
She’d kill me if she knew I was telling you, or anybody.” Another pause as he deliberated. “Joel, she thinks she’s pregnant.” His head shook back and forth as though he were fighting with the idea of it.
My response almost knocked him on his ass. “That’s amazing, Connor!” I exclaimed. “Shit! She must know that we’ll be happy for her! What this could mean: new life, the future of the human race.”
“
I agree. But she keeps saying that she doesn’t want to bring a baby into a world that’s less then perfect.” Connor was becoming more and more distressed. “I really think she’s going over the edge, man, really. You don’t know what it’s like at night with her now. She’s a basket case. I can’t talk sense into her.”
“
What do you want to do? How should we handle this?”
“
We can’t do anything, Joel. Nothing. I’ll have to deal with it until she decides what she wants.” Connor started to back up. “Don’t concern yourself, man. I just came here to apologize for her.” With that said, he left.
Forgetting about the generator connector, I pulled out my sidearm and checked the clip. Full. Then I limped off into the woods, feeling an overwhelming need to walk this out.
Ten minutes into my stroll, I found myself at the creek bed where we’d buried Gil. Stopping, I gazed down at the dirt mound. Gil would have enjoyed this day. Maybe he and I would have stuck a pair of rods in the stream and waited for the fish to return. Then I noticed something odd beside Gil’s grave. It appeared as though someone - or something- had begun digging another hole to the right of his.
“
That’s odd,” I muttered. Reaching down, I grabbed the dry earth and watch it crumble from my open palm. “Who’s this for?” The hole was no more than a foot deep but it was long, and wide enough for a body. It was creepy, and felt like an omen.
“
Stop thinking so much,” I told myself. “It could be anything.”
Jake’s rudimentary grave was next on this grim tour. God, I couldn’t have imagined the turn of events that would see two of my friends buried in my own back forty. I lowered myself to the ground, wincing as my injured leg protested. When the throbbing ceased I reached out and patted the earth that covered Jake.
“
How come you knew so much, Jake?” I wished I could have asked him personally. God, did I wish. “Miss you, buddy.” I took a few more moments to smooth over the dirt and left it at that. What else could I say? He was a friend who had played a much larger role in my life than I could have imagined.
I got up carefully and moved eastward to the shack. I had to confront the memory of Jake’s death. The sun hit the path intermittently through the ravaged tree-tops, and branches littered the forest floor.
The shed was still standing. I turned the corner, half expecting to see him sitting on his sacred ground. Coincidentally, his spot was getting all of the sun. I smiled: he knew, he knew so much.
*****
After supper, we all prepared the three voyageurs for their long trip. At least we assumed it would be long. Honestly, we hadn’t the slightest clue just how far they’d need to travel before seeing something worth mentioning.
“
Without wheels we’ll probably make about twenty kilometres a day. That’ll put us near Elle Lake by Friday,” Fred guessed. Though we had vehicles to spare, we agreed that to send them on foot would not only save gasoline but make their presence less detectible.
“
We’ll be fine,” Sonny said as he pushed his chair back from the kitchen table. “It’s all a matter of picking our battles.”
“
That’s ironic coming from you,” Earl laughed.
They departed with an air of confidence about them. Watching them recede from view, I only hoped that this angel we had created would watch over them.
L
ater that evening, Kevin decided to paint a ‘Last Supper’ that depicted the twelve of us as Jesus and the Apostles in a parody of Da Vinci’s classic masterpiece.
“
I’m not sure who will represent who yet. It’s something I’d planned to do last summer, but with all that happened, I never started it. Anyway, this is the canvas I’ll use.” He pulled the piece from his portfolio case and set it on his easel.
“
Sounds interesting,” Sara commented. “Who’ll be the Christ figure, I wonder?”
“
Good question,” I said. “Kev?”
“
Well, isn’t it obvious?” he grinned.
“
You?” she wondered, furrowing her brow.
“
Me? No! I think it’ll be the angel. I can’t come up with anyone else who’s that close to God, except Joel.”
I was embarrassed and laughed it off. Sara did not.
“
You know, that’s the most twisted thing.” She was not kidding. “You honestly picture Joel as the Christ?”
“
Don’t get all hot and bothered, Sara. I said it was going to be the angel,
not
Joel. It’s just a painting, for fuck sakes!”
“
Alright, that’s enough of that.” I attempted to end the conversation before it escalated into an argument.
“
Look at you, Joel.” Her voice cracked. “You like it, don’t you? You like that your friends think of you like that.”
“
Easy!” Irritation crept into my voice. “Go easy, Sara, you know I haven’t let any of this go to my head.”
“
Be sure that it doesn’t.” With that said, she took her leave. Further within the house, a door slammed.
“
She’s got to let up on the whole religion thing, man.” Kev, still flustered, lit a cigarette. “We don’t know
what
it is we’re dealing with.”
“
I used to think that too.” I gazed out the window while I spoke. “But this angel thing, it’s got me thinking.”
Without even thinking, I picked up the pipe from the bar and lit a toke for myself. Kev watched in amazement, wondering whether I’d changed the rules about getting messed up on duty.
Before he had a chance to say anything though, Sara returned for the twelve to four shift and saw the state I was in. She assisted me to my room. As she tucked me under the covers I smiled, overwhelmed by my love for her. I’d hit a high with her at the lowest point in my life, in all of our lives. I only wished that the others had what Sara and I possessed.
*****
During my pot-induced slumber, I had a dream. I was walking the grounds outside the house. I had the distinct impression that I’d been walking for years and would continue to do so. Was I in purgatory? The wind picked up from the north, blowing my hair about my face. Looking down at my feet, I saw the trench my pacing had created.
“
You are not set upon this path to walk alone Joel.” The voice came from inside my head. Was it my own?
“
This burden is not yours alone,” the voice explained. I suddenly realized I was talking with my angel. “Do not let an ego overwhelm your good sense.” I couldn’t stop walking the trench as I listened to the angel’s words.
“
The others know peace now. Keep your good sense about you, Joel. It won’t be long.”
I was still walking, but now I wept as well. “To what end? We’ve lost three friends to your precious path. Fuck you! You ask too much!”
I woke up staring at the ceiling, muscles rigid and fluttering. I was angry. Angry with this insane vision giving me hope. Angry with Sara for instilling some sort of religious fanaticism in me. Angry with myself for the pedestal I’d put myself on. Did I think I was on my way to sainthood? I was turning my dreams into some sort of hope for the future. My spasms stopped abruptly. Putting things in perspective I reminded myself it was just a dream. I kissed Sara who was now draped over me, and fell back into a restless slumber.
*****
It turned out that Julia was as worried for Connor as he had been for her the day before. Sitting in the backyard with me, she expressed concern over what she called Connor’s late night disappearances. I glanced discreetly at her belly, careful not to give anything away.
“
What do you mean by disappearances, Julia? What’s he doing, going for a piss?”
“
For three hours?”
“
Three hours? Have you ever thought to follow him?”
“
I always decide against it. It isn’t every night, maybe two or three a week. But we’re going on week three.”
“
And you’re sure he isn’t getting up early for his four to eight?”
“
Yes, and there’s something else. When he returns, he gets back into bed with his knees and hands covered in dirt.”
“
Dirt?” I was stumped. “Maybe you’d better ask Connor what he’s up to.”
“
I was kind of hoping that you’d do that for me, Joel. I mean, we’re having a hard time right now. Our relationship ... please, will you ask him for me?”
“
Sure, I’ll find a way to ask him.” I offered a reassuring smile, which she returned with one of gratitude. I watched her rise and leave, her hands gently brushing across her abdomen.
T
he Caddy pulled into the garage early that afternoon. Connor, Sidney, and Seth had gone on a scavenging expedition to a town fifty kilometres to the east. There they siphoned a small amount of gasoline from the pumps and found something almost as exciting - chocolate bars! Lately our attempts at salvaging any useful goods from the surrounding towns had been anything but prosperous, so they acted like they’d found the Holy Grail.
“
We’ve got chocolate bars by the dozen!” Connor beamed, lifting a garbage bag full of assorted sweets above his head. The last sweet fix I had was a spoonful of white sugar, so I salivated. “Found ‘em in a gas station vending machine.”
“
How were they not ruined?” Sara wondered.
“
Hey, I’m not saying they resemble their former selves, but they still taste like chocolate! Here!” Pulling out three misshapen bars, he bit into one and tossed the others to us.
“
Was there any resistance?” I asked.
“
Nothing,” Seth confirmed as he hauled another bag of treats from the trunk.
“
Wow, everyone’s going to be so happy to see these,” Sara exclaimed.
“
I hope so, ‘cause we had to roll that vending machine over to get at them.” Sidney explained that the machine had collapsed on its face, shattering the glass but concealing the contents from would-be scavengers. “Got some chips and nuts out of it too. You wouldn’t believe how heavy one of those things is. No wonder people die when those bastards fall on them!”