New Beginnings (71 page)

“That’s because you’d never left me before.”

“Zach…” She slid forward, coaxing him to lie on his back. When he was settled, she straddled him and looked down at him for a long time. “Were you really devastated when I left? I mean, did you really want to marry me?”

It killed him that a few poorly chosen words could erase the ten years they’d spent loving each other. “You’re the only woman I ever wanted to make my wife. I need you to believe that.” She smiled hesitantly, as though she wanted to believe him but a little voice inside her head reminded her of the risk she was taking. “Would it help if I told you’re the only woman I’ve ever said this to you:
I love you.
” He coaxed her to lower her body over his until their hearts were aligned. He prayed she could see the truth in his eyes, feel it in his touch, sense it in the erratic beating of his heart. He needed her to believe in him, in them, again.

“Really?” Her blue eyes clouded with emotion.

“I swear to you.” He kissed her slowly, thoroughly. He would do anything he could to reassure her. “I’ve never told another woman I loved her or wanted to marry her.” He kissed away her tears. “I’ve never told a girl that I wanted her to have my baby. Just you, sweetheart. It’s always been you, only you.”

Zach heard her sniffling. She was crying in earnest, but he didn’t know if they were tears of happiness that they were finally reconnecting, tears of sorrow for the years they’d lost, or tears of recrimination that she was allowing herself to fall for him again. So much still remained a frightening mystery, and more than anything, he wanted to figure out where they stood. “I just want the chance to love you again, baby. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. Please, let me love you.”

She looked him in the eye. Her face was moist, but her eyes held a glimmer of hope that led him to believe they were getting closer. “Protection?” He slid the plastic wrapper he’d extracted from his pocket into her hand. Rennie slid off his boxers and tossed them aside as her eyes roved over his body. In much the same way he’d committed her image to memory, she did the same. “It’s not fair. You’re sexier than ever.”

“As long as you think so,” he said, pressing a kiss to her wrist. “That’s all I care about it.” He didn’t care whether he ceased to exist in the minds of every other woman on the planet, as long as Rennie looked at him as if he was her walking, talking, breathing fantasy come to life.

She slid her hand up and down his shaft while their eyes locked. “I want—”

“You. Now.” He couldn’t stand the sweet torture another second. Ten years was a hell of a long time to wait to make love, and that’s how long he’d been waiting. He’d had sex since her, but connecting with any other woman that way was impossible. “Please, Ren.”

She secured the condom and positioned her body over his. “You hate this, don’t you?”

She was right. He wanted to do so many things to her, yet his shoulder injury limited the way he could love her. He hated that. “I’m gonna take you any way I can get you, baby.”

Rennie grinned before she eased down, taking him slowly, inch by inch. “Ahhh…”

She was hot and tight, heaven and hell. He wanted to last forever, but his body was already pleading with him to concede to release. “Ride me.” He gripped her hip with his good hand, wishing he could guide her to her own release the way he wanted to.

“Gladly,” she said, grinding against him as soft sighs escaped her lips.

“Ah, baby.” He squeezed his eyes shut. He was determined to hold on, to let her take what she needed, but he felt helpless to control the cyclone building inside him. It was taking over, making his heart beat faster as his entire body clenched in anticipation.

“Zach… yes… oh God… yes…” She rode him harder, faster, seeming more and more desperate as her body urged her on. “I’m gonna…”

She didn’t have to say it; he felt it in every nerve ending as she clasped him mercilessly in her throbbing heat. She was the one who should be seeing stars, but the struggle to control his body and deny his release was almost as intense as he knew his orgasm would be.

“Wow,” she whispered, staring at him, looking a little shell-shocked.

He reached for her, needing to feel that full, pouty mouth on his. He wanted to experience the seductive glide of her tongue as he teased her into letting loose again. Wrapping his good arm around her waist, he held her tight and poured all of his pain and pleasure into that kiss. She moaned and milked him again while she let him have his way with her mouth.

He felt as if they were making love in a sauna, that’s how much heat they were generating, but he couldn’t seem to care. Nothing would stop him from eliciting that reaction from her a second time. Seconds stretched into minutes, each one more passionate than the last, as they used each other’s bodies to live out their erotic fantasies.

“Ren, come for me, baby,” he whispered as he tore his mouth away from hers. He knew he was seconds away from completion, but he would hate himself if he didn’t take her with him.

“Yessss….” She leaned back into it, giving and getting in equal measure as they shared a moment of intensity that rocked them from their pounding heads and hearts to their clenched toes. “Jesus, Zach…”

He chuckled when she stared at him as though she couldn’t decide whether he was trying to pleasure her or kill her. “I won’t ask if it was as good for you as it was for me.”

“Like you have to ask,” she muttered, climbing off of him.

“Gimme a minute, sweetheart,” he said, rolling out of bed. Thankfully, she had a small ensuite bathroom. Once Zach had disposed of the condom and washed up, he leaned over the small counter and stared at his reflection. He looked happy and satisfied. He hadn’t looked that way after sex since… Rennie. She was stretched out in bed, hands over her head, when he returned. He grinned as he stood over her. “Are you going to make room for me in that Barbie bed?”

“It’s a small room,” she said defensively. “I wouldn’t have had room for a queen bed, plus a triple dresser, chest of drawers, and two nightstands.”

He rolled his eyes as she moved to the edge of the bed to make room for him. “You couldn’t have made do with just one dresser?”

“Are you kidding?” She slipped under his arm and curled into his chest. “This is an old house. Have you seen the size of the closets? They’re tiny.”

His size eleven feet were hanging off the end of the bed, but not even that could dampen his mood. “Have you seen the size of the walk-in closets in my house?” he teased. “They’re probably the size of this room.”

“Zach, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” She flattened her hand on his chest. “I don’t want to rush anything. We have to think about Tyler.”

“Come on, what kid doesn’t want his parents to be together?”

“Except he doesn’t think of you as his parent. Not yet anyway. I’m sure in time—”

“How much time do you think he’ll need to come around?” Zach was willing to give his son as much time as he needed to accept him, but he didn’t want it to take too long. He was ready to start their new life together.

“I don’t know.” Rennie sighed. “I have no way of knowing how he’s going to react to the news. Frankly, I’m scared to death to tell him.”

He understood her fear, but he would do everything he could to make the transition as seamless as possible. “I’m not gonna let you take the fall for this, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I know you wouldn’t do that,” she said, kissing his chest. “But I have to own my part in this. I was the one who kept the truth from both of you and let Tyler believe that Nathan was his biological father.”

The hand around her waist flexed as Zach tried to suppress his anger. Every time he thought about Nathan, it aroused feelings he couldn’t contain. Rennie saw her late husband as a hero. No doubt Tyler did as well. How was he supposed to compete, to earn their love and respect, with Nathan’s ghost haunting them?

“You’re quiet,” she said, looking up at him. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m just wondering how Tyler’s going to react.” He knew Tyler was a little star-struck around him, but how would he feel when he learned that Zach wanted to take the place of the man he’d considered his dad? Would he resent Zach’s interference in his life? Would he try to come between Rennie and Zach because of his loyalty to Nathan? So many things could go wrong, and when Zach allowed himself to dwell on it too long, he broke out in a cold sweat. He and Rennie may be getting closer, but they were a long way from being home free.

***

Rennie gasped when she pried her eyes open and saw Zach sleeping next to her. She’d told him he should leave and he agreed, but they must have fallen asleep sometime between making love, talking about the future, and laughing over their favorite memories from the past. Glancing at the alarm clock, she realized what woke her. It was after seven. She’d heard Tyler in his bathroom, probably taking his insulin. “Zach, wake up. You fell asleep. Tyler’s—”

“Hey, Mom,” Tyler said, knocking on her door. “What’s for breakfast? I’m hungry.”

“Damn it,” she whispered, sitting up and clutching the sheet to her chest. “I… uh… I’ll make omelets. Just grab a banana to tide you over for a few minutes. I’ll be right out.”

“Okay.”

Rennie breathed a sigh of relief when she heard his footsteps recede down the hall. “Hurry. Maybe you can get dressed and sneak out before he sees you.”

Zach watched her run around the room gathering his clothes. “I’m not sneaking out. Tyler’s going to have to get used to me spending the night.”

“But… I…” She ran a hand through her tousled hair before throwing Zach’s clothes on the bed. “It’s too soon. He’s never seen me with anyone other than his dad.”

Zach scowled. “Damn it, Rennie. Would you stop saying that? I’m his dad!”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” She wished she could start the whole morning over…alone in her bed. Not that she regretted what had happened with Zach, but she wasn’t ready to share the details of their relationship with their son. “Please, just get dressed. Then we’ll figure out what to do.”

“I already know what we’re going to do,” Zach said, easing out of bed. “We’re going to get dressed, go out there, have breakfast, and tell our son the truth. Isn’t that what we agreed?”

Rennie knew they had agreed to tell Tyler the truth, but not like that. He wasn’t so young that he wouldn’t understand what seeing his mother and Zach together first thing in the morning meant. Playing on a team with older boys meant that he probably knew more about sex than he should, and that would be a definite disadvantage in their situation.

“Can’t we wait until later?” she asked, feeling hysteria bubbling up in her throat. “Maybe after the game?” She watched Zach get dressed with one hand. She should offer to help with his shirt, but her feet were rooted to the spot. She felt frozen in indecision. Was Zach right? Should they just swallow their fear and get it over with, or should she take more time to mentally prepare, to decide what she wanted to say and how she wanted to say it?

“No. Now,” he said, looking determined.

“Fine.” Rennie sighed as she reached into her closet for a long, pink terrycloth bathrobe. She slipped her feet into matching slippers. “At least give me a chance to warn him that you’re here. If you want to grab a shower, there are extra towels in the closet and a couple of new toothbrushes in the cabinet.”

“Thanks. I think I’ll take you up on that.” He closed the distance between them, reaching for her hand. “It’s gonna be fine. Don’t worry, sweetheart.”

She wanted to believe that, but when she thought about everything she stood to lose, she couldn’t calm her fears. “I hope you’re right.”

He kissed her forehead. “I’ll be out in a bit.”

“Okay.” She made her way down the hall, grateful to have a few minutes alone with Tyler before they dropped their bombshell.

Tyler was at the door, looking out the stained glass window. “Zach’s car is still here. Why?”

Rennie’s heart raced, but showing fear would be the worst mistake she could make. “He spent the night.” She hoped it wouldn’t come as too much of a shock. He’d never seen her with a man other than Nathan, and while they’d talked about the possibility of her dating Zach, they’d never talked about him spending the night.

“With you?” he asked, swinging his head to meet her gaze.

His dark eyes were steady and unwavering. So much like Zach’s. Rennie almost shuddered. “Yes, with me.”

“Why?” Rennie felt heat rise up her neck, but she refused to give in to embarrassment. “So you guys are together now? Like a couple?” Tyler frowned.

“I guess you could say that.” Rennie wanted to reach out to him, but she was afraid it would anger him. She let her words settle in. “How do you feel about that?”

A slow grin spread across his face. “Uh, my mom’s dating a professional baseball player. I think I’m okay with that.”

At least that was one hurdle overcome. “I’m glad.” She met his smile with one of her own. “Zach was a very important part of my life for a long time. I think he could be again, but only if you’re okay with it.”

“What was the real deal with you two?” he asked, crossing his arms.

In many ways, Tyler was mature beyond his years, but Rennie still needed to protect him. “We…” Rennie cleared her throat. She definitely needed reinforcements for that conversation. “You know what, why don’t we talk about that over breakfast? Zach should be out of the shower soon. Can you give me a hand setting the table?” She didn’t wait for his response, but she was relieved when he followed her into the kitchen.

“So can I, like, start telling people that my mom’s boyfriend is
the
Zach Foster?” Tyler asked, grinning as he took the plates out of the cupboard.

“We’re not ready to announce it in the newspaper, if that’s what you’re asking.” Rennie cursed her trembling hands as she tried to measure coffee. They may have crossed the first hurdle without stumbling, but that was only the beginning. Tyler thought having Zach as his mother’s boyfriend would give him bragging rights, but how would he feel when he knew the whole story?

“Speak for yourself,” Zach said, laughing. He stood in the doorway of her small kitchen, looking positively edible fresh from the shower. Rennie was reminded of all the mornings they’d shared a shower before work or school. As if she should be thinking about that. What was wrong with her?