Never to Love (19 page)

“Hear me out—”

Not wanting to encourage any further stupidity, I stopped in the doorway to my office, blocking his entrance.

“How about tomorrow night? Brady will pick you up in his Porsche and take you dancing.”

“Who goes dancing on a Tuesday night?” I asked, hoping he’d hear how dumb it sounded. “And my car is much nicer than his.”

“How about the next day?” Did he really think Wednesday was a better clubbing night than Tuesday?
Hypocrite
. The last time I went clubbing was on a Wednesday, and I’m not sure if I’d say that turned out well or not.

“She’s busy tomorrow night and the night after.”

Until that moment, I’d never understood the expression “jumping out of my skin.” After quickly getting my heart rate under control, I turned around and faced the impossible man who, of course, was sitting in
my
chair.

“How about tonight, then?” Saul asked, determined to win.

“She’s busy every night for the foreseeable future,” Thomas replied.

Coming around behind my desk, I physically pushed Thomas out of my chair and then dropped into it. “He’s right,” I said to Saul. “I’m busy every night for the foreseeable future.” With Tate’s guest spot on the horizon and things with the foundation ramping up, it was true. “Although I’m not sure why it’s any of his business.”

“But—”

“Sorry, Saul. I appreciate you helping me out, but it was just business.”

“No, it wasn’t,” a third male voice said from my doorway.

“Fuck me,” I said, shaking my head and dropping it into my hands. Since I didn’t keep a regular schedule, how did any of them even know I’d be there?

“Want me to kick them out, or do you want an audience this time? I bet that would be hot,” Thomas said, slightly loosening his tie.

“Will everyone please just shut up?” I shouted loud enough for them to hear over the bickering that ensued following Thomas’s inappropriate question.

Once I had their attention, I began going down the line. “Saul, the answer is no. Keep in mind I have the most leverage of anyone in this firm. Peter and Troy would gladly let you go if it made me even momentarily happy.”

Turning to Brady, I said, “I’m not quite sure why you’re here.”

“I wanted to bring you these,” he said, holding a bouquet of roses I hadn’t noticed before, “and ask you to go out with me again. For real this time. Doesn’t even have to be in public.”

“I’m sorry, Brady. Dating, romance, and all of that other touchy-feely crap make my skin crawl. It’s not personal. I thought I was clear with my intentions; I’m sorry if I led you on.”

Disappointment crossed his face, but based on the way he appeared to be thinking instead of feeling, I could tell it didn’t have anything to do with him liking me. Even though that’s precisely the kind of thing that would usually get my motor running, knowing he had a reason to push for more than a one-time, casual fuck left me no choice but to cross him off my to-do list.

Which brought me to Thomas. “Why the fuck are you here?” I snapped. He should have gotten the message after our argument and my subsequent silent treatment.

“We have unfinished business,” Thomas casually replied.

Saul had slipped out of my office, but Brady hadn’t, and the two remaining dicks were sizing each other up. Thomas wanted me for what I could do to his cock. Brady wanted me for what I could do for his career.

“If you recall, you still owe me one.” He pulled a small box from his pocket and leaned in close to show me. “I found this little silver bell and I can’t stop thinking about ringing it with my—”

Slamming my hand across his mouth, I leaned in close to his ear and harshly whispered, “Say it and you’ll no longer have a use for pussy.”

Dropping my hand, I turned back toward Brady. “I have a lot of work to do today, and I don’t have time for this. If you’ll both please excuse me.” Frustrated as hell, I jerked my hand in the direction of the door.

Brady backed out of the room, keeping his eyes on Thomas, who casually strolled toward him.

Finally.

Of course things were too good to be true. Just before crossing the threshold, the asshole abruptly halted his advance and shut the door in Brady’s face. The lock echoed as the tumblers fell into place.

“I’m tired, Tom. Please go.”

“Nobody calls me Tom except my mother,” he grumbled, which made me smile a little inside. His name had already been hard-coded in my brain as Thomas, which was a little disappointing now that I knew how much he disliked being called Tom.

“So,
Tom
. What’re you doing here?”

“Colton misses you,” he said nonchalantly.

“Is he the only one?” Please, God, let him say yes.

He shot me a look that was the epitome of “duh,” which made me feel a little better.

“How could he miss me? We haven’t spent that much time together.” I pretended to be extremely interested in the papers I pulled from my drawer. He didn’t need to know they were takeout menus some tree-hating idiot had printed and left in everyone’s mailbox.

“You gave him the best day he’s had in a long time.”

“He seemed to like me before Saturday.”

Thomas took a step back and ran a hand over the back of his head. “I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the whole Natalie situation. Perhaps he imprinted on you when he met you at the police station.”

“First of all, he isn’t a baby duck or a fictional werewolf. Secondly, why me? He spent a lot more time with the social worker.” For some unknown reason, I stood and took a step toward the infuriatingly sexy man. “Maybe he needs counseling or something?” Why did I care?

The defensive mask he quickly pulled into place reminded me of our argument. “Maybe you don’t know me well enough to know this, but the last thing I want is to be a mother, in any sense of the word. I’m the first to admit I have no fucking clue how to raise a child, but I have a gut feeling something’s wrong.” I just hadn’t realized it until I said it.

“Of course something’s wrong,” he yelled. “His own mother, the woman who carried him for nine months, gave birth to him, and raised him, used him to extort at least three men while doing her best to keep him away from his real father. Then she was arrested, causing him to have to spend hours at a police station, not knowing what was happening. If he’s lucky, he’ll get to see her a couple of hours a week with supervised visitation. If she goes to prison, who knows how often he’ll get to see her.”

“You want him to spend time with her after what she did?” That made absolutely no sense to me.

“I’m not sure how much he knows about the situation, if anything. He wasn’t physically injured, and hopefully, she’s learned her lesson. A boy needs both of his parents. I won’t stoop to her level by keeping him away from her out of spite.”

Well, shit. I didn’t expect him to be so rational. Was I just a vindictive bitch who wanted people to hurt just as badly, if not worse, than they’d hurt others?

Once again, I couldn’t figure out why I cared about this situation at all, but I knew there was something wrong. Something more than a little extortion. I just didn’t know what it was and couldn’t explain how I knew.

Walking away had always been easy, but this time I felt like I was letting someone down. But Thomas was right, this wasn’t any of my business. Somehow, I’d become too invested in both Thomas and Colton.

This conversation validated the decision I’d made the other night. It was time to move on, and I would
never
break the rules again.

Moving to the safety of my desk, as I switched on my computer, I switched off any personal connection I had to Thomas for the last time. “I have an idea for a kickoff to the fundraising campaign for CoH.”

“CoH?” he asked. The non-sequitur had obviously thrown him off balance. His anger was still nearly full blown, but it was now slightly diluted by confusion.

“Center of Hope. It’s what I’ve been calling the project since the thing doesn’t have an official name. It’s a place where people can go when they run out of hope, and it’s also a point from which hope originates, kind of like the middle of a circle. Dual meaning. A community center someone can go to when in need of hope, and a place in the center of the abstract theory of hope. Get it?”

Not wanting to give him a chance to tell me it was stupid, I waved off my digression dismissively and got back on track. “When I finish the proposal, I’ll email the document to the team.” Unable to look at him, I pulled up the project folder and opened the file in question. “I’ll see you at the next meeting.”

Most likely just as uncomfortable as I was, Thomas moved to the door without saying a word, but stopped before closing it behind him.

“It’s perfect.”

Juli

Since I didn’t know many people with small children, I had no clue what time they went to sleep. Colton’s bedtime was nine on weeknights, so I figured a toddler being in bed at seven was a reasonable assumption. I should’ve asked when I called this afternoon. If I called now, would the phone wake up the drool machine?

Not wanting to risk it, I decided to knock on Sawyer’s door instead of ringing the bell or calling. The lights were on and there was a car in the driveway, so it seemed like someone was home.

My knuckles began to ache after about three minutes; traditional knocking didn’t seem to be getting the job done. I could pound with the side of my fist, but that seemed rude. I could kick on the door, but in addition to being rude, I would scuff my brand new nine-hundred-dollar Louboutins, so that was a no go. Doorbell had the most chance of waking up the screamer, followed by the door knocker.

Phone it was.

Alissa was expecting me, so I tried her phone first.

On the verge of going to voicemail, she answered with half a ring to go. Instead of being greeted with “Hello,” I ended up with an earful of laughter.

“Hello?” I asked first.

“Hey, Juli?”

“Yeah. I’m out front.”

Before she replied, the front door opened and I was greeted with two small, grubby fists lurching at me. I dropped my phone in the bag slung over my shoulder and carefully pushed the door the rest of the way open.

“What are you doing?” I asked Alissa. The kid’s eyes, which were firmly affixed to me, lit up when she bent over to set him on his feet. “Please don’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Do you see the way he’s looking at me?”

“He likes you,” Alissa said with a stupidly bright smile.

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Madison!” Alissa hollered.

“What’s up?” the kid’s mother asked as she dashed into the foyer. “Hey, Juli.”

“Will you take Gabe for a few minutes?” Alissa asked.

“I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to give him back.” Madison picked up her son and headed back in the direction from which she came.

“Do you want to sit at the table?” Alissa asked.

The reason for my visit was to interview Alissa about the reality the kids we were trying to help had to face every day. Quotes from her first-hand narrative would add depth and emotion to my copy.

“Lead the way. I also brought the branding package I approved today. I wanted to show it to you on paper so you could see the true colors.” Every computer monitor was slightly different. “If you like it, you can take it back with you to Indianapolis and show Desiree.”

After placing my bag on the table, I heard children laughing outside. Looking through the patio doors, I saw Peyton sinking a nice jump shot. Beneath the net, a blond boy of about the same age caught the ball and began dribbling.

“Colton’s here?”

“Yeah. Peyton wanted to play ball with him. Thomas dropped him off about an hour ago. Sawyer took him out for some brother time.”

Colton looked up at me, stopped dribbling, and smiled. As if happening in slow motion, his body slammed into the concrete. Peyton tripped and landed on top of him.

I was already halfway through the door before his pain registered and he began wailing.

“Are you okay?” I asked. Panicking, I dropped to my knees and looked everywhere that wasn’t covered by clothes. Aside from blood, I had no idea what I was looking for, but I had to do something. Thankfully, Madison appeared on his other side a moment later.

“It hurts.” Colton tried to man-up, which wasn’t even a little bit necessary, and kept his eyes trained on me.

“What hurts, sweetie?”

“My ankle.”

Madison moved his foot around and then gently removed his shoe. After a little more poking and prodding, she decided it was likely a sprain.

“I know you went to nursing school and worked in an ER for a while, but are you qualified to make that call?” I asked.

Squirmer in tow, Alissa popped her head through the door. “Is he okay?”

“I think so. He can prop it up and ice it until Thomas gets back,” Madison said to both of us while stroking Colton’s hair.

“But it hurts!”

“Maybe you should take him to urgent care to be safe. I’ll stay with the kids,” Alissa offered.

“Let’s call Thomas to see what he wants us to do,” Madison replied.

“It hurts,” Colton wailed.

“Okay. I’ll take Colton to urgent care and call Thomas on the way,” Madison decided.

“I don’t want you to take me,” Colton complained.

“Let’s call your dad. He’ll come back and take you,” Alissa said, turning back into the house.

“I really think he’ll be okay until they get back,” Madison said loud enough for Alissa to hear. “They told me they wouldn’t be out long.”

“Fuck this,” I said. Getting to my feet, I scooped Colton off the ground and adjusted his weight so I could carry him. On my way through the house, I grabbed my bag. “The kid says it hurts. If you guys are going to sit around and talk about it all night, I’ll take him myself.”

“Do you want us to call Thomas for you?” Alissa asked.

“I’ll call him from the car,” I grumbled as I hauled ass outside.

*