Never Stopped Loving You (7 page)

Chapter Six

When Whitney turned away from her mid-conversation because of Wade, Kara straightened and looked for what Wade wanted. Instead she saw it. John coming toward her. A knot pitted in her throat and her heart fell to her toes.

No, no, no. Not yet.

Yes, she needed to talk to John about them and what had happened. But not yet. Not
here
, where people were already staring and she was trying to stay on good behavior.

It didn’t matter what she wanted. John was close now and she couldn’t run. She’d run enough. And running would create a scene. Even so, when he propped an arm on the bar next to her and smiled down at her, she wanted to slither off her stool and melt through the cracks of the old wooden floor.

The slick counter of the bar was solid wood with about a hundred coats of lacquer to create that sheen, the right kind of surface for sliding a beer across. She suspected it would be perfect for bashing her head on too.

John, though, used it as a resting post at her side that put his face near hers. “Looks like you got some free time.”

She smiled through it.
Just keep smiling
, that’s what her grandma would say when she had to see her dad. “I was forced into it against my will.”

He frowned. “Forced?”

“Yep.” She leaned on Whitney. “Whitney may be smaller than me, but she shoved me in the truck without question.”

And his smile was back. “Well then, let me say thank-you to Whitney.”

Whitney looked away, her eyes rolling to the top of her head as her drink headed toward her mouth. “Don’t mention it.”

John’s gaze was back on her, still smiling away despite Whitney’s loud and clear
piss off
mood. “I heard you moved to your dad’s?”

She nodded. “I did. At first. Then I stayed with my grandma to help her.”

“With the gift thing?”

“Yep.” He’d kept up with her? That was...she wasn’t sure exactly. Sweet and kind and so like John. Terrifying for her. She tried figuring up the odds to see if she could make a break for the front door and be home before any of them noticed her missing. These sandals weren’t made for running. And the only math her brain was hardwired for was converting tablespoons to cups.

“I found your website. Pretty stuff.”

“Thanks.” Oh, poor John. He really was a nice guy. Seeing him smile at her just twisted that knife a little bit more for the way she’d treated him. Just genuinely nice. A girl would be lucky to have him. She should be lucky for the way he was talking to her now without leading directly into “why did you leave?”

There was no way around it, though. He didn’t make her blood pound and body hum like Wade did. Even knowing Wade was behind her, no doubt listening, had her skin prickling. Being aware of him wasn’t fear that he might try to end their business arrangement.

“Why don’t we get out of here? Ride around for a while.”

“I...” She glanced to Wade, wondering if he was going to take over for her. He was staring in his beer. Whitney was straight as flagpole. Tate, ever the subtle one, looked right at her. Kara swallowed. “Thanks for the offer but I am really tired. I don’t think we’ll stay long.”

He covered her hand with his. “How about a dance?”

She kept up the smiling act with her butt firmly planted on her stool. “My feet are hurting after standing all day and stuff.”

The fast, shaking song ended and picked that moment to change into a soothing tune. He squeezed her hand and pulled at her. “Must be a sign. Come on. Dance with me. After you’ve been gone all this time, let’s dance. I know how much you like it.”

“John.” She didn’t come off her seat.

“Nope. Not taking no for an answer. Come on, pretty girl.”

Pretty girl.
Lord, he’d called her that years ago. It was a wash of cold awakening. She was either going to be a grown-up or not. “John, we need to talk.”

He curled his fingers at her with his other hand. “Come on.”

“John. Really.” She glanced around and spotted a table in the far corner. “Let’s go over there and talk.” It wasn’t ideal, but it was an option. One that was far better than dancing in the center of the room.

The stubborn butt just waited with his hand outstretched toward her. “Dance first.”

She hesitated and wanted to glance around. Wanted a smile or a nod or something to encourage her on, but she knew there would not be one. And the only look she’d find to make her feel something would be from Wade. That wasn’t what she had in mind. “And then we’ll talk?”

“Anything you want.”

With a breath, she closed her fingers around his and allowed him to pull her the rest of the way off the stool. He had a strong but gentle grasp. She always thought so. It should be comforting. It wasn’t. It was nothing more than John holding her hand. Nothing even close to being like Wade’s. Wade being a goofball and shoving at her arm if she’d poked fun at him carried more heat than John’s intended touches.

He turned her around the room with the rest of the dancers and she let him. She tried to sink into the moment to enjoy this and forget about what was coming next. Last time she was in a bar, it was this one after turning eighteen. Her hand had been marked with a big black
X
noting her as underage for no beer, but she’d had a blast. She’d danced and danced. She’d lived.

After all the years of pining for Wade and hoping for a future she wasn’t going to have, she’d started living. She wouldn’t regret those times when John wasn’t involved with her sexually and had simply shown her a good time. There was no deception. Just her having a great time, realizing all she’d missed out on by waiting for Wade.

With the task ahead of her, though, she couldn’t find that same little burst of living to get her through this dance. Not with the weight of shame so close to coming off her shoulders. At this point, it was a matter of getting through it and the song was half over.

She sighed and he must have taken her noise for a sense of contentment as he pulled her in close. His arm wrapped tight along her lower back. The other continued to hold her hand against his chest. With a quick step, she shifted so that she was to the side, in a more
friendly
embrace rather than directly facing one another with her hips uncomfortably against his.

He turned with her. Dancing with the slow song, softly humming and whispering the lyrics in her ears. He’d always been a decent singer and the tune didn’t bother her, but it didn’t do anything for her other than make her guilt heavier. John was not the kind of guy who would admit to singing in a girl’s ear, much less do it often.

The song entered yet another chorus and she resorted to counting in her head, knowing the end had to be near. John’s friendly embrace, his fingertips across her back and stroking lower over her spine, would almost be over.

She cleared her throat. “How’s your mother?”

His hand stilled and relief washed over her. “My mother is fine.”

“I always liked her.”

He softened again. His fingers continued with their moving. “She likes you too. Asks about you all the time.”

Crap.
She searched her memory for something, anything to direct this conversation into stable, safe areas. Then he turned her again and Wade’s gaze slammed into hers. Anyone else looking at Wade’s stance might have said he was irritated. Or frustrated over something. Something ridiculous like a busted water line.

Kara knew better. She’d seen that narrow-eyed look before. How his arms were over his chest. The muscles firm and unrelenting with his chest pulling in deep breaths of air. With his feet planted wide, it was clear that Wade Chester was downright pissed off. A stream of fear skated over her skin. The last thing she ever wanted was to hurt him.

He didn’t understand and the more this went on, the more she was going to have to tell him. It was something she’d never in her life wanted to admit. Hell, she wasn’t even sure she had enough guts to admit the truth to John, but Wade was a different story. Wade was the man who’d unknowingly caused her to fall into John’s arms. The man she’d been infatuated with. And she was going to have to tell him the truth so he’d know why she was dancing with John and why she had to talk with the man. A knot lodged in her throat and she forced it down.

John’s face was against her cheek and all she could think of was wanting Wade there. Wanting to know his breath on her skin. His hand against her back like this. It was awful. She didn’t think she could reach any more lows, but somehow she had.

“I missed you when you left. Never met someone else who was quite like you.”

She swallowed. Did that mean he had tried to move on? Hopefully. “It was a visit I had to make.”

“Long visit. I tried calling you a couple times.”

Yeah, she’d just not answered. Had deleted his voice mails pleading her to call back. He would know she was lying her ass off if she claimed not to receive them. He’d called a lot. “I’m sorry for not responding. Things were...complicated. By the time things were settled, it seemed awkward.”

It was true enough. For the most part. The idea of talking to him had seemed awkward. Things had never been uncomplicated, though. The song ended and a fast song played on the jukebox next and she’d never been more thankful for a set of pounding drums and a quick-playing guitar.

She stepped back, hoping for space, but John only closed it again, keeping her hands in his. His cheek was back against her face. “Let’s get out of here.”

She nodded. Outside would be a way better option for this conversation. Where no music was blaring to talk over. Where fewer people would be around. Fewer people to see if he happened to lose his temper. Not that she’d ever known John to do that, but still. When she delivered the harsh blow that it was all a lie, that she wasn’t interested in picking up where they’d left off. While she wanted to say she hadn’t known he’d felt that way about her until too late, it didn’t matter.

It’d been her cruelty that pushed him toward the feelings.

She followed him through the thick crowd. There was a sharp itch in the middle of her back and she knew what it was from. Wade’s gaze. She wouldn’t look back. Didn’t want him to believe she was rubbing it in his face. Maybe after this conversation she’d have a way to explain things to Wade.

The warm, humid night filled her lungs, taking all the air she needed and leaving her to breathe a near fog. As if this wasn’t difficult enough. She followed him along the wall, only then realized he was leading her toward his truck parked at the front corner of the building.

Oh, Lord, did he think she was leaving? As in, leaving the property? She replayed back in her mind. Him asking her to get out of there and then her agreeing. She stopped and hung her head. It was just second nature to lead this poor man on.

“John.”

He turned to her. His hand slid against her cheek. He tried to angle her face up to him, but she resisted. This conversation would be much better with the button of his shirt, but she wouldn’t. She gave in and lifted her face only to find him lowering his. His lips skimmed against hers and she turned her head so the press of his mouth met her cheek instead.

Not that it was much better. His mouth glided along her jaw. To her neck. And she knew where he’d be heading next and there was no damn way that was happening.

She put her hands flat to his chest. “John.”

“I can’t believe you’re here. I never really knew if you would come back.”

Shit, but on the upside it looked like he hadn’t been waiting on her if he wasn’t sure she’d return. She pushed against his chest. “John. Stop.”

He didn’t listen. Or didn’t hear over his nonstop mumblings of sweet words about missing her laugh, smile. His mouth touched her shoulder. “I haven’t forgotten the taste of your skin.”

Any warmth from dancing on the late spring night fizzled like winter trying to make a return. This could not go on a moment longer. She shoved harder against his chest. “John. Stop. Now.”

“You’re right. Not here in this parking lot. Let’s get out of here.”

She didn’t move. “I agreed to dance for a chance to talk. Nothing more.”

He held her close. His breaths were deep enough his chest brushed along hers. “I haven’t seen you in years.” His hands caressed along her arms. “Let’s get out of here. Catch up on each other. Then we can talk.”

She swallowed hard. Oh, God. This was awful. She wanted to run again. Go anywhere. Live out of a trash can somewhere, jobless, homeless if that’s what it took, anything but confront this. “John. Stop and listen to me.”

His hands loosened from around her and the hard breath in her chest released. This was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever done. “John, I—”

And he was lifted off his feet and jerked away from her.

Chapter Seven

If the dancing didn’t piss Wade off enough, watching John grab her hand and pull her willingly out the exit was enough to set his teeth together until they about shattered out of his head. He left his beer on the bar, with his sister telling him to stay put, and slipped out behind them.

He’d made himself clear. She was not to talk to John. Not while they were in business together. He had his reasons. They were good ones. He’d told her as much. It was for the business why he didn’t want the two together and that was it. The last time those two hooked up, he never heard the end of it and he wasn’t ready for a repeat performance. Nor would he tolerate talk of her excessive public displays of affection to the point some of the older members of this town were complaining and asking him about it. Not again and not while her name was tied to his business.

He stepped out in the cloudless night, Tate right behind him. Wade couldn’t decide if he was thankful or pissed for the babysitter.

The moon was bright enough to cast a sheen of dim light across the ground and highlight her brown hair pulled back and her pale skin against that orange dress. She was right. The dress wasn’t sexy on its own, but the way it fit her—it just was. Another night flashed in his mind that was much like this one, where she’d leaned back on the hood of John’s old Ford and rested on her elbows. Her leg had been bent up and her foot had rested against the tire while John had her trapped between his arms. Wade shook the thought loose. He slipped under an overhang to be lost in shadows and watched from a distance, sickened how John’s hands were all over her. On her hips. Touching her hair. Cupping her face.

A rumble moved through his stomach and he put his hand there to settle it.

Tate leaned over and whispered, “You don’t have to watch it.”

“You don’t have to be here.”

“I figure you’re two seconds from putting your hands around John’s neck, though hell if I know why.”

“Because of the business. You know that.”

“Uh-huh. Tell yourself that enough and maybe you’ll believe it.”

Kara turned her face up to John. Not the same as when she looked at anyone else. This was different, because her eyes were on John. Not on someone else, not on him. Then the man leaned down and kissed her. Kara turned her head so the touch landed on her cheek. The turn of her head didn’t stop his stomach from twisting like a rung-up rag. Tate was right. He didn’t have to watch this. He reached for the door to go back inside, but her voice, asking John to stop, caught him in his tracks. Tate stopped and turned back as well.

There was mumblings by John. Something Wade was too far away to hear clear enough. He slipped closer. Her hands were on John’s chest again, asking him to stop. John was stepping in closer. His hands slid from her arms across her back. More mumbled words and Kara’s again stern request. Not “stop” this time. But his name. Quick. Clipped in a tone that offered no argument. Last time he’d broken them apart he hadn’t waited. He’d seen John all over her and had been so damn pissed off, he’d done what he wanted and lived to regret it when Kara was missing the next day.

This time was different. She said no, and John was still trying.

He didn’t wait and walked the last few feet forward, grabbed John by the back of his neck and plucked the man off his feet. “She asked you to stop.”

“Wade!” Kara jumped, her hands crossed over her mouth then slid down to clasp in front of her chest. “Put him down before you hurt him!”

Wade dropped him without warning and left John stumbling into the muddy truck at his back.

John straightened. “That is enough. Go away, Wade.”

Wade’s temper was getting stretched about as far as it’d go. “You leave.”

John dared to test his temper by moving an inch closer. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Wade moved a step closer. Closed that distance. His hands pulled into fists and were itching to be put to use. Wade hadn’t fought in a long time, but it was a damn fine idea to shake off this energy Kara put in him. “She asked you to stop. I heard her.”

“Quit!” Kara’s slim hands wrapped around his arm and tugged him back. “Wade, stop it.”

She continued tugging at him and he followed her pulling. When it came to her, he just couldn’t resist what she wanted.

Then she pushed at his shoulder. “Stop! You don’t understand.”

He blinked at her. “He’s the one who had his hands all over you when you asked him to stop. Tell me where I’m confused.”

“He was pulling away when you grabbed him by the neck.”

“Not what it looked like to me.”

“You just have to trust me.”

He snorted.

A hard breath shot out of her. “Why did you follow me out here?”

“Because I don’t trust him.”
Or you
.

“Forget it.” She shook her head. “If I wanted an audience for this, I would have stayed inside.” She pushed around him and headed toward the bar.

“Kara!” he called.

Her middle finger flipped up over her shoulder before she grabbed the door to the bar and disappeared inside.

John, that pain in the ass, laughed. “Guess her feelings for you haven’t changed any. That’s the second time I’ve seen her do that to you.”

Wade shared none of that humor. “Stay away from her.”

“It’s none of your business.”

Wade turned and faced the man he once called a friend, though he hadn’t a damn clue why.

John crossed his arms over his chest. “I could say the same for you. You broke up with her. Told me yourself that it didn’t work out as you’d wanted.”

“That didn’t mean you should go in and fuck her for the hell of it!” His head was throbbing. The frustration in his fisted hands knotted all his muscles.

John shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “Is that what you think? Is that what this is? Some protection act for a girl you consider to be a sister?”

Wade was disgusted and walked away. Kara was not a sister. Not in a hell of a long time.

John’s voice was quiet. “I do care about her. I did back then. I’d asked her out before you two dated, did you know that?”

Wade stopped and listened. No, he didn’t know that. Not that he cared.

“She turned me down.”

“Good for her. Unfortunate she changed her mind.”

John shook his head. “I was falling for her before she left. I was moving too fast. Talking about the future I wanted. Was starting to include her in those future plans. I think she ran away because she was just out of high school and my plans for the future scared her. But I do care for her.”

Wade did not want to hear this, but he stood there and listened. Maybe this was what he needed to hear. To let her go. He shouldn’t have held her in his thoughts this long anyway. “Why do you want her now?”

John shrugged. “Talk to her first. See if those feelings are still there.”

It took all Wade had not to vomit then and there. “See if she still makes for good conversation with your friends the next day?”

John wouldn’t meet his gaze. “It started like that, but we didn’t end that way. Just because you almost broke my jaw and blacked my eyes isn’t the only reason I quit talking about her. Now that she’s back, I want the chance to see.”

“See if she’ll still let you put your hand up her skirt in the middle of a crowd?”

In the dim light there was no missing the red tinting John’s face. “I could have made better choices.”

“You think? You were the older one, by the way you talked, more experienced. You should have done better by her. You played and she paid for it.” Wade shook, needing a reason for space between him and Kara and, hell, this was as good as it got. Maybe in the end, this was what he needed. “Treat her right this time and I won’t interrupt again.”

John uttered a thank-you, but Wade was walking away already and he wasn’t stopping to hear more of this. Tate moved alongside him as he walked around the corner and to his truck. They remained silent until in the truck with the doors closed.

Tate turned to him. “You okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Tate shook his head. “I know I don’t get your feelings for her, but I know it sucks, man.”

“It’s for the best.”

“As much as I know it sucks, it’s time to let her go. Move on.”

With a heavy weight resting on his chest, he started his truck. He thought he had moved on. “I know.”

Just because he knew, didn’t mean it was going to be easy.