Never Say Never, Part Three (Second Chance Romance, Book 3) (10 page)

It sent a second later, it took a minute to get off the floor, and ten for the knock to come at the door. It was unbelievably quick. He’d made it in record time unless he’d been in the neighborhood.
 

Emily opened the door, turned and walked to the sofa, then lay down.
 

“I came as soon as I got your message,”
Joseph said, hurrying to her side. “I’m so sorry, Emily, are you all right?”
 

She shook her head, mute. This was her final consolation. A man who’d tried to force himself on her. There were dark times, and then there was this.
 

She’d thought of an abyss before, with Chase, but this was a new kind. There was nothingness in every direction, and invisible shadow chasing her, telling her to give up and despair to hate herself.
 

That it was her fault.
 

“Emily, what I can I do for you?”
 

“Why didn’t you call?”
Her kids were the only beacon.
 

“I’m sorry. I’ve been so busy and I was upset. I’ll be honest, I was out of line the other day, but I was upset that you didn’t even consider giving me a chance. You were rather brusque about kicking me out of here.”
 

Did he expect and apology from her? She pointed to the document on the table and he retrieved it and read it, mouthing words here and there.
 

“My life is a shambles, Joseph.”
 

He replaced it. “We can fight this. Together.”
He took her hand and she didn’t have the strength to tell him not to. She was tired of being alone and unloved.
 

What if he was it? What if this man was her last chance to have somebody who cared about her?

“I don’t have any fight left.”
She gasped for air around the wrenching sobs working themselves up her throat.
 

“Don’t say that. If you need fight, Em, I’ll have it for the both of us. Just let me in.”
He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb, then gave her a feather light kiss in its place.
 

“Joseph, please don’t make me do this now. I can’t.”
 

“Hush.”
He placed a finger on her lips and it was soft, like he’d never seen a day of work in his life. “Here’s the truth, Emily. I’m the man who’ll treat you like a princess. I’ll be there for you through thick and thin, if you let me. Isn’t that what you want?”
 

“Yes, but –”
 

“No protests. I’ll help you get through this, I would’ve helped you regardless, but I’ll help you because I care. Just let me take you on one date. I’ll show you what I means to feel loved and appreciated.”
 

Emily pressed her lips together, unable to answer.
 

“Just one date, that’s all.”
He leaned in, staring at her, intently.
 

“All right,”
she said, tears spilling from the corners of her eyes. He swept them away with his fingers, and stroked her cheeks.
 

“Thank you.”
Then he leaned in and took that kiss he’d tried to steal the other day. It was warm, soft and caring, but Emily felt nothing.
 

She was dead inside.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

“Romantic isn’t it? The gardens, the night sky, the wine.”
Joseph clinked his glass against hers, then pushed his specs up his nose. He was impressed with himself.
 

A week had passed since Mama’s death and Emily had been consumed with organizing the funeral, and finding a way to get her children there without violating the no contact order. Joseph informed her it was impossible.
 

Missing the kids was an ache which had settled into the void where Chase had been.
 

“You like French food? Who am I kidding, everyone loves French food.”
 

Emily despised French food.
 

Joseph tore off a bit of garlic bread and deposited into his mouth. He chewed noisily, looking at the other couples and back at Emily with pride. “You know, you’re the most beautiful woman here.”
 

“Thanks,”
she said. Even her voice was hollow. She couldn’t see an end to the emptiness, and no amount of wine and garlic bread would fill it. “I’m kind of tired, Joseph, maybe I’d better go home.”
She glance over her shoulder, out across the terrace to where her car was parked somewhere in the darkness.
 

“You’re kidding,”
he said, totally crestfallen. “This is our date. It’s our big night. Come on, babe, just hang in there. It will get better.”
He patted her with garlicky fingers and she retracted her hand and wiped it on the napkin in her lap.
 

There were fairy light weaved through the trees, and curling between the railings and onto the white balustrades. The place was made to look like a magical garden. It over-romanticized, a total cop out.
 

What kind of fantasy was this?
 

It was a passionless wreck of a place.
 

“Isn’t this romantic?”
Joseph grinned and drank more wine. How could a man be this clueless? Couldn’t he tell she was in a world of pain?
 

The open air disappeared and the railings transformed into prison bars. They grew twice in size and closed in, compressing her lungs and her mind.
 

She stood quickly. “I have to leave. I have to go. Can’t be here anymore.”
 

Joseph grimaced. “Sit down, please, you’re embarrassing me.”
 

There wasn’t even heat in that request. He was the polar opposite of Chase and the entire date was a quiet reminder from the beyond: she was doomed to be without the man she wanted.
 

A familiar face appeared at the other end of the dining area. A man with dark hair, a tan and a jawline which made her quiver. He was here. Janet was with him.
 

They strolled past her table and she lowered herself back into the seat, staring stiffly at Joseph. He glared at the space above her head and to the side.
 

“Joseph Cunningham. I didn’t expect to see you here.”
Chase spoke up beside her and spears poked through her string-sown heart.
 

“Just out for a romantic evening.”
 

Janet gave a small guffaw. “Good luck with that.”
 

“Janet, please be quiet for once,”
Chase put in and Emily hid her surprise behind the napkin, feigning a polite cough. “I wanted to send you a message about representation, but my sister advised me against using you. Now I think I understand why.”

“What do you need representation for?”
 

“Minor legal matter, nothing to worry about.”
Chase acted nonchalant, but Emily knew that strain in his tone too well. There was something he’d hidden away. Part of her dreamed of it being unrequited feelings for her, but she was far past that now.
 

She had to accept that she had Joseph.
 

“Come on, Chasey, let’s go get a table. This place is so romantic.”
Janet purred at him, and Emily refused to make eye contact. She wouldn’t put herself through the aggravation of talking to either of them.
 

“If you say so,”
Chase muttered.
 

Emily stared dead ahead, above Joseph and to the left. He reached out and grabbed hold of her again.
 

“Hey, they’re gone now, don’t worry.”
Joseph gave her a look of liquefied sympathy and she gave a snort. She was pathetic. She couldn’t even look at them! “You want to get out of here? We can get the meal wrapped up and head home if you like.”
 

That would be running away, but anything was better than sitting here with those two behind her.
 

“Yeah. Thanks, I think that would be for the best.”
She glanced back at them in spite of herself and caught Chase looking at her.
 

Janet was in tears, gripping a glass of water like it was a lifeline.
 

“Are you ready?”
Joseph asked, standing and offering his hand to her as he’d done a few weeks earlier. She didn’t take it.
 

“Hold on second.”
 

There was something fishy going on at Chase’s table. Janet whispered fiercely at him, but he stared directly at her. That look was back, and she was in his arms on that fucking leather sofa, touching him, kissing him.
 

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, low and long. She couldn’t let him go, no matter how hard she tried to believe. There was this piece of her which wanted to believe it could work, even though he said it couldn’t.
 

“Emily, you’re staring,”
Joseph spoke up, stiff from envy.
 

This wasn’t fair on him. She did deserve real love, and he wasn’t it. Or she wasn’t ready yet. She should’ve stuck with her guns, but he’d caught her at a weak time.
 

“Listen to me!”
Janet shrieked at the table, and Chase finally broke the link between them and turned to her. The restaurant went silent, waiters paused midstride, and patrons craned their necks to stare.
 

It was nice not to be the problem for once.

Janet picked up her glass and threw the water at Chase, who ducked to the left in the nick of time.
 

“Emily?”
Joseph asked, hand still outstretched to take her. But she stood on her own, turned her back on Janet and Chase, and walked back to the car.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Emily tossed her keys on the coffee table and stifled a yawn. Joseph followed her in, but he hadn’t said a word since the restaurant. Perhaps he’d finally read the fucking room and realized he had to back off a bit.

The scene with Chase and Janet had worked wonders on her mood. Not because she wished any ill on Janet –
okay, that wasn’t entirely true –
but because she’d walked away. She’d left them to it.
 

It was his problem now. It wasn’t hers. She had nothing to prove.
 

“You okay?”
Joseph stroked the back of her neck and she flinched. This didn’t work for her. She’d have to let him down easy again, but she still needed him.
 

“I’m fine, Joseph, just tired and a bit emotionally drained.”
 

He plopped the leftover French food –
ponging of garlic and butter –
on her kitchen counter and went to sit on the couch.
 

“You going to come sit with me?”
 

He was possibly the neediest man she’d ever met. She joined him on the sofa regardless, though she didn’t want to cuddle. It was time to end this foray into non-passion. She couldn’t lie to him or herself any longer.
 

“Joseph, I think –
l”
 

BANG!

The door slammed open and rebounded onto Amanda. She was positively wild, hair a bird’s nest and without any make up whatsoever. There were dark rings under her eyes.
 

“Hey bitch!”
 

This was a violation of the restraining order, but Emily was pretty sure it didn’t count if Amanda sought her out.
 

“Who are you?”
Joseph stood, frowning and holding a glass of water out like a shield.
 

“Shut up, Peewee Herman. This doesn’t concern you.”
 

Joseph sat down on the sofa with a huff.
 

“Amanda, are you okay?”
 

“It’s your fault. It’s your fault he hates me,”
Amanda screamed, ripping at her flowery blouse. Joseph rammed himself into the back of the couch, trying to withdraw from the situation. He wouldn’t be winning any superhero awards.
 

“You chose the life you have now, Amanda. And I’m sorry, but I tried to warn you. You were too consumed by your need to defeat me to see the wood for the trees.”
 

“I love him!”
 

“So did I!”
Emily shrieked back. She was so tired of being calm and collected. “I loved him and he damn near killed me too. He dissolved bits of me until there was nothing left but an empty drunken shell. He’s done the same to you.”