Never A Choice (The Choices Trilogy (Book 1)) (32 page)

“No Sir, I’m sorry Sir.” I feel bad for dumping on this stranger. “To answer your question, no I won’t be telling this person, ever. It’s about self-preservation now Sir”

“That is very sad Lola.”

“No sir . . . it’s not sad. It’s heart-breaking.” I disconnect the call. I’ve never done that before and I am glad he didn’t call back. He’ll probably cancel his booking now. There is no way he was expecting that when he selected the specialist line.

I wake at four in the morning to cut across the garden and leave the property without using the main gate. I need to get to the station for five to get the milk train back to London. I have back to back lectures today, the second of which is in one of the large lecture theatres. Some core units are shared over different courses and my second lecture is one of those; Finance. The room is stuffy and I feel slightly hot, sticky and a sheen of perspiration is coating my body. My hands are shaking and I realise I haven’t had anything to eat today as my tummy rumbles in disapproval. I am rummaging in my bag for something edible when the Lecturer begins by explaining that today’s topic of ‘Small Business Financing’ is going to be taken by a guest speaker. I get a watery taste in the back of my mouth and I breathe through my nose; I think I’m going to vomit. I swallow a dry heave, thankful now that I haven’t eaten anything.

Daniel walks in, he doesn’t look at the audience and I sink into my seat. I am too far from the door to escape and I just hope he doesn’t call me out to the front like last time. He doesn’t. It’s worse, he loads his presentation and begins.

“The best way to get an understanding of small business finance.” His voice is smooth and deep and I can’t help the effect of him being there has on me as my heartbeat races and as a flush of prickles kiss my skin. “Is to work through a case study of a small business; so in light of this I have made up a company and we will go through each key stage step by step.” He pauses and turns to face the audience but his dark hard eyes are on me, he clicks the laptop in front of him and the case study fills the ten foot high screen behind him: “Lola’s Call Centre.” The corners of his mouth crease but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. I feel the blood drain from my face, but it’s also rushing in my ears, I’m getting large black spots float across my eyes and I know I’m going to faint and or have a panic attack. He knows, of course he knows. He’s my caller but why tell me . . . why tell me now? I start to blow breaths through my pursed lips in a controlled manor as I pack my bag. I start to shuffle my way across the aisle but when I get to the floor of the theatre Daniel addresses me.

“Did I say you could leave Miss Thorne?” His voice cold and angry.

“No Sir you didn’t.” I walk to the door and leave just making it to the corridor when I hear a muffled sound in my ears and see dizzying lights above me as I hit the deck. I am being jostled and jiggled. My eyes are still closed, I can smell citrus and exotic spice. My face is pressed against soft cotton and I’m being held tightly. I push my face against the firm chest and nestle, inhaling deeply and feeling a warm rush of familiarity. That familiarity also makes me jump but I’m held tighter with a growl.

“Don’t you dare fucking move, I’ve got you now. There is no fucking way you’re going anywhere, I’ve got you.” I relax into his stride and his warmth.

“I want to go home.” I whisper.

“Alright, I’ll take you home, but then we talk.” He changes his mind then, “After I’ve fed you, then we’ll talk.” He grumbles.

I’m sitting on my sofa with a large bowl of spinach and ricotta ravioli that Daniel has brought up stairs, along with some fresh bread and some milk. My tummy continues to rumble even after I have eaten half of the bowl.

“When did you last eat Bethany?” His voice is low, quiet and I have to think. “The fact that you are having to think about the answer pisses me off, look at you, you need to take better care of yourself. What if you’d fainted in the street? What if-

“-Saturday.” I interrupt. “I ate on Saturday, and to be fair this isn’t my ‘normal’ type of weekend so I think I can be cut a little slack in the caring for myself department.” I snarl back at him. “Daniel, I’m grateful that you brought me home but let’s not get all ‘overprotective’ when it’s . . .” I stop because I want to add; ‘your fault I’m like this in the first place’ and I don’t want to do that, it’s not fair to make him feel bad when I am going to end this tonight.

“You didn’t let me explain.” His eyes hold a wealth of concern and his voice is so quiet.

“No, because, it really doesn’t matter.” I soften and touch his leg, his muscles flex, so do mine. “But it’s important to you so I’ll listen but you have to listen to me too.”

“I did listen to you.” His eyes are molten heat and I sit a little further back but he just closes this distance and holds my stare. “The obligation I had was for my mother’s friends chosen charity, I was bid on at the ‘Batchelor Auction.’ I had to attend the drinks reception with the winning bidder and spend Sunday sight-seeing in London. I couldn’t get out of it and I couldn’t embarrass Kassandra by introducing you at the reception which . . .” He takes my hand sending sparks to my core, “I desperately wanted to do. You were so calm I knew you weren’t Ok with it but I thought you were Ok enough to wait and talk later. If I had known for a second that was not the case, I would not have left your side. You have no idea what fucking hell it’s been knowing where you are but not being able to get to you.” He grabs my face with both hands, his eyes intense with desire. “Don’t you ever fucking do that again.” He captures my mouth with his soft but firm lips and I gasp, my parted lips an invitation he accepts willingly, plunging his hot tongue searching and tasting. I desperately engage with this demanding dance, my breathing laboured my heart racing. I push his hard chest, my fingers brush the curve of his muscles, his breathing heavy too. He moves back.

“I love you Bethany.” He moves to capture me again but I stand up in shock.

“Fuck no!” I yell and try and back away, he stands too and towering over me. “I can’t let you, Daniel, there’s no way, I said no-more.” I have my hands pressed flat against his hard stomach, trying to hold him back, “I won’t survive you, Daniel.” I’m trembling and my voice is cracking, I try and regain some composure with some steadying breaths, “I won’t survive you.” I look up into his eyes, I’m pleading and he forges on and scoops me in to his arms and strides to my bedroom.

“I won’t survive you either, Bethany, I love you and I know you think this is lust, unfortunately it’s been three days since I’ve been inside you, so now, it feels a lot like lust, but after we’ve made love, and I can think straight, I will tell you again, that I love you and you will tell me that you will never leave me. Oh and that you love me too.” He flashes the most amazing smile before he roughly takes possession of my mouth and my body. He moves with purpose and a hungry intensity that has me breathless. He peals my clothes from my body, slowly covering the newly exposed nakedness with adoring kisses. His hand constantly caressing and stroking, my skin burns from his touch and rages inside. His body covers mine, pinning me to the bed, securing my wrists by my head he pulls back to meet my eyes, lust and hunger and something more. He pushes my legs wide with his weight, his hard erection pushing nudging keen to gain access. His mouth covers mine and he moans into my mouth as he pushes deep inside. My sex greedily contracting around his cock, pulling him in deeper with a tilt of my hips. He moves slowly, rotating his hips trying to gain more access, to get deeper. I gasp out loud as he hits the end of my womb with such sweet agony, he swallows my pain, his eyes scorch through me and I start to tremble.

“Sshhh baby, I’ve got you.” He holds himself deep inside me, not moving, his deep breathing vibrating through me, this is raw, a need and desire makes my chest heave with the depth of emotion I feel for him. My eyes fight to hold on to my tears. “Bethany, you are everything.” It’s enough, it’s too much. He moves just a fraction deeper and it sends me falling, fighting to breathe, flooded with immense waves of pleasure, spasms of uncontrollable bliss I hang on to his broad shoulders, gripping tight with my nails and my head buried in his neck, tears finally falling, I’m such a mess. He holds me for the longest time, not moving, still rock hard. My body stops shaking and as I refocus on the most beautiful eyes staring down at me I am rewarded with the sexiest smile and most sensual kiss. I start to move my hips, thinking he must need some relief, if my climax was anything to go by. “Don’t move baby, I want to come, just like this, buried deep with you tight around me, my perfect fit.” I gasp as he nudges deeper.

“Not sure you fit as well as you think.” I explain with a cautious tone.

“Maybe not, but it’s still perfect.” He kisses, he is hungry devouring everything I return, swirling and plunging, fucking my mouth with his tongue, all the movement he is denying himself inside me. He holds me tight against him and I moan at the passion of his kiss. I am full and stretched and I can feel him pulse deep inside, the smallest movement is enough to start another orgasm to build. “Look at me, I want to see your eyes, when we come together, do you feel that?”

“God yes, you’re so . . . so deep ahh!” I’m panting because I don’t want to move and break this amazing tension, balanced on an edge of unbelievable pleasure. I look into his eyes and I feel him, all of him and I love him. “I love you.”

“Fuck!” He never breaks his scorching eye contact when he comes, when I come.

He wraps me in my duvet and holds me tight into his chest, kissing and stroking my hair. Some time passes when Daniel whispers. “It doesn’t count you know.”

“What doesn’t count?” I am tracing my fingers along the cut of his abdominal muscles, the ones that make my mouth water.

“Saying ‘I love you’ just as your about to have a mind blowing orgasm.” I can feel his smile as he kisses my hair.

“Who says it was mind blowing?” I poke his ridged muscles playfully.

“Oh, you’re right we should rematch and go for mind blowing.” He flips me so he is again on top pining me to the bed.

“It was mind blowing!” I softly laugh and he kisses the tip of my nose.

“I’d like you to say it when you’re not in the throes of passion.”

“I know.” I quietly say but I am still feeling raw and exposed, maybe later, he seems to understand. He smiles and falls back to snuggle with me against his chest and in the crook of his arm. “But I told you when I wasn’t in the throes of passion too.”

“Yes . . . yes you did.” He kisses my hair and I can feel his lips curl in a smile.

“Why didn’t you tell me? You knew I was Lola, why tell me now?” I tilt my head to meet his gaze.

“I liked your honesty, you are very open when you are Lola.” His eyes soften. “ . . . and I needed your attention. That’s why I told you now but if I’m honest I would have preferred to have kept Lola’s secret.”

“I can understand why but having that level of access to my inner thoughts makes me extremely vulnerable”

“I like you vulnerable.” I tense and he pulls me tighter. “I want you to feel you can be vulnerable with me. I would treasure that level of trust. I want you to be that open with me but I understand that will take time. All I’m saying is that now you know, that I know, I will miss Lola’s honesty.”

“I liked that level of honesty too. It was liberating and hot. It was safe.”

“And you don’t feel safe with me.” It’s not a question. “but you will . . . I promise.”

I am quite for a while and although I have taken in everything he has said there is one stupid question I can’t ignore.

‘How did you disguise your voice? I mean you said things that certainly sounded like you and sometimes I did get a chill but I never recognised your voice.”

He chuckles, “That’s you’re only issue with this situation? Good. It was a simple filter, changed the octive and pitch a little and gave a little echo but enough to alter the sound.”

“Oh . . . and it’s not my only issue but the other stuff we can sort out together.” I stretch my body up his and he leans down to cover my mouth with a soft kiss.

“Sounds good to me” He lets out a contented breath and then groans. “This is a fucking uncomfortable bed, how do you even sleep?” He wriggles beneath me in a futile attempt to get comfortable.

“It’s better than the streets.”

He sits up shocked. “Is that really an option?” His brow heavy with instant fury.

“Not if Sofia’s parents had anything to do with it. No if I couldn’t live here I’d just live further in the sticks.”

“No family home?” He gently probes.

“No family home.”

“No brothers, sisters, uncles . . .” He pushes.

“No Daniel, no family. I told you Sofia’s family is my family, well and my mum.” I need to know what Kit told him but it’s just going to come across as jealousy. “So who was the lucky lady?” I try for mild interest.

“There’s no need to be jealous, Bethany.” His voice is deadly serious, no teasing with this potentially volatile subject.

“Just so as you know, I don’t actually get jealous, you either want to be with me or you should have enough backbone to say you don’t. It’s not about jealousy or cheating it’s about trust and it was never about not trusting you Daniel.” He looks a little confused and I can’t explain further without exposing Kit.