Nets and Lies (13 page)

“He’s a good man—he’s a married man!”

“You’re just pissed because he’s your darling Will’s father, and if he’s in trouble or hurt, Will’s hurt. You’re pathetic.”

The venom rolled off my tongue before I could stop it. It was the only self-defense mechanism I knew—hurt others if they hurt you.

Brandi stared at me with a wounded expression before snapping up out of her chair like a rubber band. “Go to hell, you lying bitch!”

As she stalked away from the table, a couple of kids glanced in our direction. Wide-eyed, Tara shook her head. “What are you doing, Jordan?”

“What am
I
doing? She started it.”

“That was low to bring up Will. You know how obsessed she is with him.”

The expression on Tara’s face broke me. “Okay, okay. I was a bitch. I’m sorry. It’s just you have no idea what today has been like for me. People calling me names, my locker’s been vandalized. Stupid me, I’d hoped my two best friends would be here to support me—not give me shit the moment I sat down.”

Tara refused to look at me. “You have no idea what it’s been like for us either.”

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“You weren’t here yesterday when the shit hit the fan, Jordan. Brandi and I were the ones getting the looks and being pushed and shoved in the hall. And for what reason? Simply because we’re your friends.”

I chewed on my lip, unsure of what to say. “I didn’t know—”

“Maybe you would have if you’d bothered to answer your phone last night!”

“I’m sorry, Tara. I mean, I was in with the detectives all yesterday. I was worn out and didn’t want to talk to anybody, okay?”

She shook her head. “I had a right to hear it from you, Jordan.”

“I know you did. And I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”

“I hope you are. We’re been best friends since third grade. I would hope you’d feel I had a right to know what was going on with you—especially something as serious as being raped.”

“You
are
my best friend, and yes, you had a right to know. I made a mistake. I promise it won’t happen again.”

Tara sighed. “You promise?”

“Yes, I promise.”

She fidgeted with the buttons on her sleeve before sucking in a deep breath. “Jordan, I want to ask you something, and I want you to give me an honest answer.”

My mind spun with her question.
No, Tara. Not you. Please don’t make me do this. Don’t make me lie to your face.
But I didn’t give in to my emotions. Instead, I angrily shook my head. “Don’t you start this bullshit too!”

“I know how you felt about Coach T. You told me one time that you loved him, remember?”

“Yeah, and if memory serves me right, I also remember being drunk off my ass!”

Tara’s eyes flashed. “Don’t try to blame it on alcohol. You sobbed for an hour and told me how much you loved him.”

My throat went dry. I swallowed several times before I shrugged nonchalantly, as if she didn’t have me cornered with my lies. “So, maybe I did like him. And maybe because I was drunk, I exaggerated how much I liked him. But that doesn’t mean I wanted him to rape me!”

Tara pushed her lunch bag aside and leaned in on her elbows. “Tell me the truth.”

“He raped me,” I insisted.

“I’m your best friend. If you can’t tell me the truth, how can I be your friend?”

My heart beat rapidly in my chest. I wanted so much to tell Tara the truth—to tell someone what had really happened besides my Mom, but I couldn’t. There was too much risk. So, I forced the lie from my lips one last time. “I was raped.”

Tara stared at me, her mouth hanging open in astonishment. Then she silently gathered up her things.

“Wait, don’t leave!” I cried.

“Did you not hear anything I just said? If you keep lying to me, I’m not your friend anymore, Jordan. When you decide to tell the truth, you come and find me.”

And with that, she stalked away from the table, leaving me all alone. I sat in shock for a few seconds, trying to gather my thoughts. Then I realized what it must look like for me to be sitting by myself. So, I gathered my things and started out of the lunchroom.

There was really nowhere for me to go. I couldn’t go out to the sunshine of the courtyard. I would be in the same situation. No one wanted to have anything to do with me. As I cast my eyes toward the library, I realized that wasn’t an option either. You had to get passes in the morning to go there.

Finally, I took my things and started for the parking lot. For the remaining thirty minutes of my lunch, I sat in my car, my coat pulled around my shoulders, and my iPod plugged in my ear. I didn’t listen to my usual rap or pop playlists. Instead, I listened to classical music in a desperate attempt to drown out my problems.

It didn’t work.

After my horrific run-in with Jordan, I spent the rest of the school day in a fog. I went through the motions, going to class, taking notes, poking the food on my lunch tray, but my mind was miles and miles away. Now I had the answer to why she had claimed I was raped. She’d found my panties and thought I’d been voluntarily sleeping with Coach T. The very thought made me shudder with disgust.

Somehow she, of all people, had seen through my lies. I’d been so convincing to everyone else, even the detectives.

But not Jordan.

With one expression, she saw through to my core and knew I had really been raped. Knowing that someone else knew the truth was emotionally crippling. I could only hope that because of Jordan’s reputation that no one would believe her, and they would continue believing my lies.

When the bell rang, I silently rejoiced. I wanted nothing more than to get home and bury myself under the covers again. But when I got to my locker, Will was waiting on me. “Ready to go?”

My brows furrowed. “Go where?”

“To the Circle of course,” Will replied, giving me a funny look. The Circle was a spot in the athletic park below school where our gang of friends hung out. The gang was comprised of juniors and seniors, athletes and non-athletes. It didn’t matter if it was warm weather or cold. With tail gates lowered and hatch backs raised, we would lounge around listening to music and talking.

But today when Will and I got there, it was different. An unspeakable tension hung around us, strangling our usual free flowing conversation. Plus, the very reason we were able to meet at this time of day was because Varsity basketball practice had been canceled—even the guys’. The coaches were spending an afternoon in meetings trying to sort out what was going to happen in Coach T’s absence.

We shivered and huddled together in the winter cold. Finally, JT snorted exasperatedly. “Dude, this is bullshit!”

Will raised his head. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’re all sitting here like somebody died over some rumor that bitch of a skank started!”

“Stop talking shit, JT,” Lauren warned.

“I’m not talking shit. I’m stating facts,” he argued.

Lauren tossed her strawberry blond hair over her shoulder and raised her eyebrows. “Oh really? Well, it sure sounds like shit to me. We’re sitting here like somebody died because they did. Coach T’s reputation and possibly his career.”

“Lauren!” Breanna Perkins snapped. She jerked her blonde head towards Will and me. At the mention of his dad, Will stiffened at my side. I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

Lauren’s face turned the color of her hair. “I’m sorry guys,” she mumbled.

JT patted her on the back before glancing around at the rest of us. “Look, she’s right in a way. I mean, we gotta man up here. Coach T is innocent. There ain’t no way in hell he would’ve raped Jordan or…” He refused to meet my gaze. “Or anyone else for that matter.”

His words stung me. My parents hadn’t challenged the idea and now my friends weren’t either. Kids I’d known for years, even my best friend, jumped to Coach T’s defense without even a second thought. But in the end, I had done the same thing, hadn’t I?

Breanna nodded. “JT’s right. Just because they’re accusing him doesn’t mean he’s going to jail. I mean, he’s bound to be found innocent once we all testify.”

Once they all testified…once they all unified together against me—against any of the truth I still harbored deep within me. My chest ached at the thought. I fought the urge to stand up and scream,
“It’s the truth dammit! He really raped me, and you can all go to Hell for not believing it!”

But I didn’t.

Instead, Kara Ridings stood up to drive another nail into my coffin of truth. “I’ve known Coach T since middle school travel ball, and he’s never looked at me or touched me in any way that wasn’t totally appropriate!”

JT and Paul Jacobs grinned at each other. “Thank you, Kara. Save it for the detectives okay?” JT said.

She laughed. “Well, I was just saying, you know, that he’s totally innocent.”

“Seems like I remember a time when you and Jordan were BFFs,” Lauren mused.

Kara rolled her eyes. “Please don’t remind me!” She kicked a loose pebble with her shoe before climbing back on JT’s truck bed. “Besides, that was before she was a sleazebag ho.”

“She dated your brother, too, didn’t she?” Breanna asked.

“Ugh, yes, on and off for like two years. Why, I don’t know. Carson is the biggest asshole I know!”

Paul nodded his perfectly coiffed Afro while JT snorted. “Yeah, he is a pretty big asshole.”

Through all the affirmations for his dad, Will remained silent. He stroked wide circles with his finger on my palm. I pulled my hand away and took his hand in mine. “It’ll be fine,” I murmured. I said it more for my own benefit than for his.

He stared into my eyes for an eternity before he finally smiled. “Yeah, I hope so.”

Paul stood up. “Well, I say we do something besides sitting around on our asses.”

Kara and Breanna exchanged glances. “And just what did you have in mind?” Breanna asked.

Paul shrugged. “I dunno. Something like a protest—you know, like in the 60’s.”

“Like a Coach T rally?” Kara asked.

JT nodded slowly before grinning. “Dude, that sounds like a hell of an idea!”

Through the hair shrouding my face, I peeked over at Will. His face lightened up instantly at the idea of a supportive rally for his dad.

“Okay, ace, where would we do it?” Lauren questioned.

“Like here at the school?” Paul suggested.

“Nah…” JT murmured.

Everyone fell silent for a minute then Paul snapped his fingers. “We could do it in front of the jail!”

I gasped. “The jail?”

He nodded as a big grin spread across his face. “Yeah, I mean, he hasn’t gotten bonded out yet. And maybe he could hear us!”

It took a moment for it to sink in with everyone, but then they began talking at once.

“I bet we could get the news to come.”

“We could start it at the school and drive in a caravan.”

“And have posters and signs.”

“I know my mom and dad would be in on it.”

The voices blended around us like a hornet’s nest of activity. Will squeezed my hand. His deep brown eyes had the first flicker of light in them since his dad had been arrested. It didn’t matter how I felt that all my friends were organizing a protest in my rapist’s honor. No, those thoughts were the farthest things from my mind. As long as Will was okay, I was okay.