Naked (18 page)

Chapter Thirty-Two

T
he only time I see Jackson the next week is when I come by the art room to work on the Eiffel Tower mural. I’ve tried to time my visits with his schedule so that we’re never in the room at the same time, but he must have gotten excused from class, because this time he’s inside.

And he sees me.

I spin around to leave, but it’s too late.

“Anna,” he says.

I turn around and look at him. I want to tell him about Marissa, because I wish he were in on it with us, but a part of me knows it’s better this way.

After another few minutes of silence, I guess he can’t take it anymore.

“Are we ever going to be friends again?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” I say, my voice soft and broken.

I want to say something to make it better. Want him to look at me like he used to. But I know there isn’t anything else I can say. Even if any words could take this back, no words should.

M
y mom is surprised when I tell her I’m going with my girlfriends and not Jackson, but she doesn’t push it.

Dad, of course, is happy to hear the bad news.

“In the end, you’ll see this was the right decision,” he says.

Yeah. If he had his way, I wouldn’t go at all. He’s probably looking forward to me having a terrible time, coming home sad, and ready to never, ever do something like this again.

So screw it. I’m going to have fun tonight.

Jen, Alex, and I get ready in my room, doing one another’s hair and makeup. Even Zara hangs out with us, watching as we goof around and joke about how to give each other the best makeovers.

Alex keeps trying to convince me to get a nose ring or cut my hair into a pixie cut, but Jen is actually beautiful when she’s done with her. She pins her hair into a gentle updo, and after some serious peer pressure, Jen lets Alex take actual scissors to her and give her a side bang. She’s softer this way, less plain. After a little mascara, eye shadow, and lipstick, Jen’s ready to break some hearts. She looks happy, really happy, since the first time I’ve met her.

Homecoming might not be what I was hoping it would be, but this is pretty great, too. I have friends, and I’m helping someone have a little more power. And maybe, just maybe, help me keep a little of my own. As long as they’re around, the janitor can’t afford to show himself.

I just hope we can actually pull this off.

Once we’re all dressed, Alex in her tight black dress with feathers hanging off the bottom, Jen in a long light blue A-cut dress, and me in my black strapless with the pink-and-black zigzag pattern at the top, we sit down to go over the plan.

I thought Jen might be hesitant to go along with this. But if nothing else, my plan brings a confidence into her that I’ve never seen her have. She doesn’t want to hurt Brandon. She’s sweet like that, desperate to not hurt even the bad guys who hurt her.

But she also won’t stand by if she has a chance to stop him from hurting someone else. I just hope this helps her feel like she doesn’t have to live in fear anymore. I hope this lets her know she still has the choice I never had.

Marissa can’t be here because that would tip off Brandon, so Alex texts her to let her know the plan is on. Honestly, we’re not asking much from her. She’s to act normal. Do what she usually does, so Brandon won’t know something is up.

Finally, my mom knocks on the door, tired of waiting for us to finish our powwow and way too eager to take pictures. When we leave the room, I feel like we’re spies or something. This secret, it feels exciting, and I can tell the other girls feel the same.

Mom spends way longer than necessary, pulling us to five different places around the house, getting shots of us all together and each by ourselves, saying she’s sure Jen’s and Alex’s parents will want some, too.

Even my dad stands behind her, watching. Quiet, seething, and always watching. He must be
thrilled
to see us having a good time, so I put on a big smile and laugh with my friends.

“It’s too bad that boy couldn’t be here,” Mom says. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened?”

I groan.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Rodriguez,” Alex says. “She won’t even tell us.” She sticks her tongue out at me.

I roll my eyes. “I don’t need a date,” I say, defiantly.

“Besides, Czar here is more handsome than any high school boy,” Jen says, her voice light and happy.

“It’s Zara, actually. But she is pretty, isn’t she?”

Zara’s eyes get big when we turn to her, like she’s wondering what in the world we’re talking about. I walk over and lean down next to her and scratch her neck. She lifts her head and licks my cheek.

“Wait!” Mom calls. “Hold that.” She picks up the camera and snaps a shot of me hugging Zara, and I’m pretty sure that’ll be my favorite picture.

A
lex drives us to school in her mom’s old Lancer. When we finally pull up to the big brick building, my palms are sweating.

I remember my first moments standing in front of these glass doors. It’s dark now, but really, it’s exactly the same as it was then. I’m the one that’s different. Oddly enough, I’m more scared now than I was then. Because now, I have more to lose.

“I’m so nervous,” I admit.

“I’m excited!” Jen says.

“Yeah, this was your idea. How can you have cold feet?” Alex says.

“I don’t! I’m just nervous. What if it doesn’t work?”

“Then everything will be the same as before. But it’s going to work.”

I nod. No matter what, I’m going to make sure Marissa isn’t the one to blame if this goes bad.

But it has to work. It will.

The parking lot is already dark by the time the dance starts.

I watch the other students walk into the school with their fancy dresses and shirt-and-ties.

We walk through the parking lot, me much too comfortable in the high heels, and I march quicker than Jen and Alex, but I stop when I see a cop car pull into a parking spot. What the hell?

Three boys hop out of the back seat, laughing. The one who hops out first has those sexy glasses, and even from far away, I know it’s Jackson. His father’s in the driver’s seat. I guess he came as a chaperone.

I turn away quickly and keep walking.

As soon as we enter the school building, all three of us stop and stare. Jackson recruited a few guy friends to help with the actual setup of the dance, so none of us have seen it all put together. Jen and Alex’s sign hangs right at the entrance, candles light the path down the hall to the gym, and a little plastic runner leads the way all the way down.

It’s pretty, but it’s nothing compared to the way the gym itself looks. There are lights over both sides of the gym, covering the walls from ceiling to floor. I didn’t even realize we had this many. The Eiffel Tower Jackson and I worked on sits behind the DJ, and it’s beautiful. The background is dark, with hanging little twinkling stars.

We did an amazing job.

I just wish I could share this pride with Jackson.

From what I can hear around me, everyone else seems to admire the work done on the dance decorations, too. The only real proof this is the same sweaty gym we use for classes and games and prep rallies is the floor. There wasn’t much we could do to cover up the basketball court.

“This is awesome!” Jen says, her smile stretching all the way across her face. I grab her hand, and she grabs Alex, and I feel so close to them at this moment. I’ve never been in this position, but now I see there can be safety in numbers.

As kids head out onto the dance floor to dance to the heavy beat music, we just stand there, watching.

Finally, the moment’s over when Alex goes running into the crowd, pulling me and Jen with her. I laugh as I’m dragged onto the dance floor and start dancing with my friends.

It feels good. Surprisingly good.

We take turns gawking when Marissa and Brandon walk in. She doesn’t even look our way, which is good. She’s good at this faking thing. Guess she’s been doing it for a while.

Everything has to seem normal, so our job right now is to have fun. The real mission doesn’t start until a little later in the night. So we dance, and we laugh, and we have fun. Part of me is just pretending to complete the illusion and help Marissa, but it’s not all fake. I’m actually having fun.

Alex messes up her hair by swinging her head around to every song. She’s the kind of girl whose hair should always be down. It’s so pretty anyway. Still, I can’t help but give her a hard time.

“I put a lot of work into that!” I yell over the loud music.

She pulls out one of the bobby pins and flings it into the air.

After a few songs, I see Marissa and Brandon through the crowd, only a few random grinding dancers over. Brandon’s hands are all over her. I hate the expression on her face, complete misery. There must have been a time when she loved him, wanted him, but that time is clearly long gone. That tends to happen when someone treats you like shit.

I don’t know what Brandon deserves, but Marissa at least deserves better than this.

Marissa pushes through the crowd, and as she passes us, she stops to lean in and whisper in my ear, “The decorations are awesome.” I’m careful not to smile at her kind comment, knowing Brandon needs to think it was something nasty. She gives me a wink and then pushes past us, pulling her boyfriend behind her. He gives me a smirk and a wink, and I shiver.

We stay and dance a little longer, and while this is fun, I’m starting to get restless. I want to get this over with.

“Want to get a drink?” I yell out to Alex and Jen, who both nod, and we head back up to the cafeteria. It’s there that I see Jackson.

He’s wearing black slacks, a white button-up, a checkered vest, and a bright green bow tie. Sticking to his too-attractive-for-true-geekiness geeky thing. It’s weird, but it’s so him. So Jackson.

He’s with his goofy gamer friends. They’re debating about something serious, but then again, knowing Jackson, it’s probably about which food item or cartoon character is better. His head pops right up when I stop at the doorway though, his conversation forgotten, and we just stand there for a few seconds, watching each other.

I so wish I were with him tonight.

I shake my head. There’s a reason I sent him away. Eventually, he’ll find out the truth. And the closer we are, the more it’ll hurt when he does. I could deal with it, but I’ll do anything to save him from that pain.

There are a bunch of round tables covered in tablecloths and little Eiffel Towers and candles in the center. We sit at one of them to catch our breath from all the dancing.

“The decorations turned out great, didn’t they?”

I spin to see Jackson standing there, his hands in his pockets and a hopeful look in his eyes.

“They’re amazing,” I say.

Jen and Alex agree. Alex lifts up her cup and says, “Cheers!”

She’s so weird sometimes. We all laugh politely, but there’s nothing else to be said, so after another awkward moment, Jackson says, “I’ll see you around,” ending our conversation much too soon, and he heads back to the dance floor with his friends.

“Think it’s almost time?” Jen asks as soon as Jackson is gone.

My eyes are still following Jackson, but I force myself to turn to Jen. “I hope so.”

It’s been about a half hour, enough for us to get kind of bored dancing, so maybe it’s enough for Brandon, too. We head back into the gym and search through the crowd of packed bodies, hopping and bobbing and grinding to the heavy beats until we finally find them.

Marissa is dancing halfheartedly alone, eyeing up a blond girl now dancing with Brandon.

Yup, it’s definitely time. I nod to Jen. She gets this look on her face like she’s a lioness or something. Brandon is her prey. She hands me her phone and then pushes in.

I like this Jen. Powerful, confident, determined. I hope, after tonight, she’ll be more like this. Happier, stronger.

Alex and I casually drift over to Marissa.

“Game on,” she says.

I lean in and whisper to Alex, “You should probably get going.”

Alex nods and winks dramatically before pushing into the crowd toward the door. Jen has about ten minutes to get where she needs to get to. By the expression on Brandon’s face, she might not need that long.

Marissa and I bob awkwardly and watch Jen work. She grabs Brandon’s upper arm and pulls him down just enough to whisper in his ear. His eyebrows raise, confusion written on his face. Jen said she had this part under control, but I kind of wish I knew what she was saying. Last thing I want is for her to have to relive her own nightmare. But she was pretty damn adamant about being the one to take him down. I think she deserves the right. Even Marissa was okay with that.

The goal is to keep Marissa clean no matter what, just in case it doesn’t work. I’ll take the fall if I have to.

Jen manages to pull Brandon away from the dance floor and to a dark corner, then gets him talking about something. She’s stalling, I know. We need to give Alex enough time to get to his house.

Marissa and I exchange a look and follow them, just far enough that we won’t be noticed. Except someone notices.

“Hey!”

I spin around and nearly run into Jackson.

“Oh, hi!” I say.

“I just wanted to say…” He shifts on his feet, his eyes cast to the ground. Then he lifts his head and our eyes meet. My stomach flips. “You look really nice.”

My lips twitch, fighting a smile. “Thanks. You, too.”

It takes everything I have not to take his hand and go with him to the dance floor, where he could hold me, make me feel safe, wanted.

I glance over my shoulder to Marissa, who’s watching me with impatience written all over her face. Right. Jen needs my help. I can’t leave her to the wolves.

“I’m sorry. I’d love to talk and stuff but…I’ve got to…” How the hell do I explain this?

He takes a step back. “Yeah, no problem. See you around.”

I take a step past him and then turn back, giving him a shy smile. Damn it.

I watch him walk away, back into the crowd. Once he’s gone, I take in a deep breath and head back to finish what I started.