Read My Teacher Is an Alien Online

Authors: Bruce Coville

Tags: #Humorous Stories, #Action & Adventure, #Extraterrestrial beings, #Juvenile Fiction, #Fantasy & Magic, #General, #Science Fiction, #Substitute teachers, #Education, #Teachers, #Life on other planets, #Schools, #Fiction, #School & Education, #Professional Development

My Teacher Is an Alien

 

 

 

Microsoft Corporation

 

 

 

 

 

Microsoft Corporation
What would
you
do if you found out your teacher was an
alien?

 

As I watched, Mr. Smith pressed his fingers against the bottom of his eyes. Suddenly he ran his fingertips to the sides of his head, grabbed his ears, and started peeling off his face!

I gasped. Fortunately, the horrible noises coming from the room drowned it out. I wanted to get up and run, but I was too terrified to move.

I started to shake instead. Whatever Mr. Smith was, I was pretty
sure the face he was slowly un
covering wasn't anything that had been born on Earth!

 

 

 

 

 

Microsoft Corporation
Books by Bruce
C
oville

 

 

The A.I. Gang Trilogy
Operation Sherlock Robot Trouble Forever Begins Tomorrow

Bruce Coville's Alien Adventures
Aliens Ate My Homework I Left My Sneakers in

Dimension X The Search for Snout Aliens Stole My Body

Camp Haunted Hills
How I Survived My Summer

Vacation Some of My Best Friends Are

Monsters The Dinosaur That Followed Me Home

I Was A Sixth Grade Alien
I Was A Sixth Grade Alien The Attack of the Two-Inch

Teacher I Lost My Grandfather's Brain Peanut Butter Lover Boy Zombies of the Science Fair Don't Fry My Veeblax! Too Many Aliens Snatched From Earth There's an Alien in My Backpack The Revolt of the Miniature

Mutants There's an Alien in My Underwear Farewell to Earth

Magic Shop Books
Jennifer Murdley's Toad Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher The Monster's Ring The Skull of Truth

My Teacher Books
My Teacher is an Alien My Teacher Fried My Brains My Teacher Glows in the Dark My Teacher Flunked the Planet

 

Space Brat Books
Space Brat

 

Space Brat v. Blork's Evil Twin Space Brat 3: The Wrath of Squat Space Brat 4: Planet of the Dips Space Brat 5-: The Saber-toothed Poodnoobie

The Dragonslayers Goblins in the Castle Monster of the Year The World's Worst Fairy Godmother

Bruce Cavillers Chamber ofHorrors
#1 Amulet of Doom #i Spirits and Spells #3 Eyes of the Tarot #4. Waiting Spirits

Oddly Enough Space Station Ice-3

 

Bruce Coville

Illustrated by

Mike Wimmer

 

Aladdin Paperbacks New York London Toronto Sydney

 

To my sixth-grade teacher,

Florence Crandall, who told me to write a story

 

If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as "unsold and destroyed" to the publisher, and neither the author nor the publisher has received any payment for this "stripped book."

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

ALADDIN PAPERBACKS

An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing Division

1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020

Text copyright © 1989 by General Licensing Company, Inc.

All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in

any form.

ALADDIN PAPERBACKS and colophon are registered trademarks of

Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Designed by Elizabeth Wen

Manufactured in the United States of America

This Aladdin Paperbacks edition July 2005

Special thanks to Pat MacDonald, Leslie Mendelson, and Erin Mendelson.

20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12

Library of Congress Control Number 2004112711

ISBN 1-4169-0334-8

 

 

 

 

 

Microsoft Corporation
Contents

 

 

 

 

Books by Bruce Coville
4

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CHAPTER ONE - Missing— One Sixth-Grade Teacher
7

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CHAPTER TWO - Note of Doom
14

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CHAPTER THREE - An Unearthly Noise
20

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CHAPTER FOUR - Broxholm
26

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CHAPTER FIVE - How Strong Is an Alien's Nose?
32

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CHAPTER SIX - Drafting Peter
37

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CHAPTER SEVEN - Night Expedition
43

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CHAPTER EIGHT - The Alien's Lair
49

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CHAPTER NINE - The Force Field in the Attic
55

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CHAPTER
TEN
-
Solo Effort
61

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CHAPTER ELEVEN -
Parent Conference
68

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CHAPTER TWELVE -
Things Get Weirder
74

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN -
Rumors
80

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CHAPTER FOURTEEN -
What Can Duncan Dougal Do?
86

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CHAPTER FIFTEEN -
Hookey for Three
91

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CHAPTER SIXTEEN -
Duncan's Disaster
96

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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN -
Teacher Conference
102

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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN -
Concert Concerns
106

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CHAPTER NINETEEN -
Peter's Choice
110

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CHAPTER TWENTY -
Piccolo Power
116

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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE -
Out
of This World
125

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Bruce Coville's
130

 

 

 

Microsoft Corporation
CHAPTER ONE - Missing— One Sixth-Grade Teacher

 

"Hey, Geekoid!" yelled Duncan Dougal as he snatched Peter Thompson's book out of his hand. "Why do you read so much? Don't you know how to watch TV?"

Poor Peter. I could see that he wanted to grab the book back from Duncan. But I also knew that if he tried, Duncan would cream him.

Sometimes I wonder if Duncan's mother dropped him on his head when he was a baby. I mean,
something
must have made him decide to spend his life making other people miserable. Otherwise why would he spend so much of his time picking on a kid like Peter Thompson? Peter never bothers anyone. Heck, the only thing he
really wants is to
be left alone so he can read whatever book he has his nose stuck in at the moment.

That doesn't seem like too much to ask to me. But Duncan takes Peter's reading as a personal insult.

So here it was, the first day back from spring vacation—we hadn't even gone into the school yet—and I could
tell by the look on Duncan Dou
gal's face that the spring fight season was about to begin.

I clutched my piccolo case to my chest and watched as Peter's pale face began to turn red. Peter blushed at almost anything. He was tall and thin and wore thick glasses. And he was the smartest person I had ever met—grown-ups included.

The problem was, it was all book smarts. Peter had absolutely no idea how to deal with a creep like Duncan. Actually, neither did I. If I did, I would have stopped him. But the one time I had tried to come between Duncan and Peter, I ended up with a black eye myself.

Duncan claimed it was an accident, of course. "Susan just jumped right in front of my fist," he said as if I was the one who had done something wrong. To tell you the truth, I think Duncan punched me on purpose. Most guys wouldn't hit a girl. But Duncan doesn't mind. It was his way of warning me to keep my nose out of his business.

As I watched Duncan squinting down at Peter, it occurred to me that sixth grade can be a dangerous place if you don't watch out.

Stacy Benoit was standing a few feet away from Peter, pressed against the school wall and looking nervous. Stacy is this incredibly good kid, who never gets in trouble ever. She hates fights even more than I do.

She had just started edging her way toward me when Duncan ran his foot through a puddle and splashed dirty water all over Peter's jeans.

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