My Sweetest Sasha: Cole's Story (Meadows Shore Book 2) (11 page)

“That’s my girl. Keep it up and we won’t have to worry about any pimply hoodlums hanging around you for a loooong time,” he cooed.

Sophie rolled her eyes, and Alexa laughed.

Sophie watched Alexa admiring the baby in Cole’s arms. Yearning to hold her. “If you use some hand sanitizer and put on a gown, you can hold her. That is, if Cole’s willing to share.”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“No. She’s already been held by lots of people. I’m sure she’ll be spoiled, but such is the life of a baby surrounded by love.”

Alexa washed her hands and took the baby from Cole. She whispered softly to Lily while she cradled her close. Cole couldn’t keep his eyes off them.

Sophie sat quietly taking in the scene. The tenderness in his face while he watched this woman holding her baby daughter warmed her soul. From the moment they walked in, Sophie knew Alexa was someone special, otherwise he would never have brought her to the room.

“Alexa, what kind of work do you do?”

“I work for Risk Management.”

“Alexa’s a social worker with a law degree,” Cole added, winking at Alexa. The social worker/lawyer-angel/devil had become a private joke between them.

“Cole told me you dedicated a shelter yesterday. Congratulations—what a big day for you.”

“A very big day,” Sophie said, beaming at her daughter, her heart bursting with love.

“I interned at a domestic violence agency during social work school. It was the most rewarding work I’ve ever done.”

“It’s not for everyone, but I love the work too. We can always use volunteers with skills like yours. And if you’re new to the area, it’s a great way to meet some wonderful people.”

Lily fussed. She hadn’t had her fill and was rooting around near the crook of Alexa’s arm. “I think she’s still hungry.” She handed the baby back to her mother. “I should go. It was so nice to meet you.” She smiled at the baby, “and Lily too.”

“I’ll be just a few minutes, and then I’m leaving. I’ll give you a ride,” said Cole.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll walk home. The sun’s shining, and I could use a brisk walk outside.”

Cole frowned at her.

“It’s broad daylight, and very, very early. All the bad guys are still asleep. I’ll be fine.”

Cole didn’t look convinced.

Sophie was amused by their exchange. “’Bye Alexa, it was nice seeing you again. Don’t be a stranger.”

“She’s very sweet.” Sophie said after Alexa left.

“She is.”

“How long have you known her?”

“About a month or so.”

“You’re smitten.”

“Smitten? What is this, an episode of
Downton Abbey
?” he said, smoothing a wrinkle on the bed. “It’s not like that.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No.”

“Hmmm. Have you slept with her?”

“Really? Did you really just ask me that?”

“I did, and I noticed you haven’t answered yet.”

“I just told you it’s not like that … I am worried about her, though.”

“Why?”

“She earns an excellent salary, but lives in a crappy neighborhood. Never spends any money on herself. I mean nothing, not even a cup of coffee. And something’s weighing on her, but I can’t figure out what it is.”

“Have you asked her?”

“What do you think?”

The corners of Sophie’s mouth tilted up softly. “Sorry, dumb question. What did she say?”

“Told me to mind my own business.”

“Maybe you should.”

He gave her a look suggesting he wouldn’t be doing that.

“I guess she doesn’t know how bad you are at staying out of other people’s business.”

“Me?” he asked giving her a pointed look that she ignored.

“How did you meet her?”

“Meet who?” Max asked, walking in the room, his eyes immediately locking on Lily.

“Nobody.”

“Cole brought a friend by to see the baby. Alexa. Remember her from last night?”

“Aside from my amazing wife giving birth to our beautiful daughter, most of last night’s a blur.” He sat on the side of the bed with his arm wrapped protectively around Sophie and Lily.

* * *

Cole looked at him enviously. Max hadn’t slept a wink, but he looked rested, content, and completely satisfied with his life.

“Tell us how you met her,” Sophie said.

Cole shook his head. She could be relentless. He looked from Sophie to Max. “I got into some trouble, and was assigned an executive coach for forty-five days.” He shrugged.

Max whistled through his teeth. “Must’ve been some kind of trouble.”

“I smashed the thermostat in the OR after a nurse fainted. So don’t think I’m a bigger asshole than you are.”

“Hey, I’ve been reformed. And don’t use that kind of language in front of my daughter.”

Cole took the baby’s tiny hand in his. “I’m not going to have to worry about you after all—your crazy daddy’s going to worry enough for all of us.”

“Alexa’s your uh … babysitter?” Sophie pressed her lips together, but the corners of her mouth quivered and her eyes were dancing.

“Coach.” She’d never let this rest, and he’d had enough of the probing. Even recent childbirth couldn’t get her to stop meddling. “I’ve got to get home and sleep. I’m on again in about ten hours.

“Again?”

“The summer schedule’s brutal, with everyone wanting time off. And we’re down a surgeon,” he added quietly. “But after tonight I’m off for a couple of days. I think I’ll go to Meadows Shore. Get out of the city for a little while, sleep on the beach, and let Vovó feed me.”

“Why don’t you take Alexa? She probably doesn’t get to the beach much, and it sounds like she could use a little TLC herself.”

“I don’t want to give Vovó the wrong impression.”

“You won’t. Explain to her that you’re worried about Alexa and thought she could use some love, Portuguese style. I can talk to her if you want.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“What did you do all day?” he asked after Alexa settled into the car.

“Grocery shopped, cleaned the apartment, did my laundry, and slept. How about you?”

“I hit the gym and then passed out. I was tired. I guess I’m not as young as I used to be—the schedule’s beginning to wear on me.”

“You’ve had a lot to contend with.”

“I’ve got broad shoulders … didn’t you tell me that?”

“And a memory like an elephant. Have Sophie and Lily gone home?”

“Yes. And the overprotective daddy has already returned two car seats, and Sophie’s sister, Ella, caught him measuring the width between the crib slats.”

“Don’t make fun of him, I’ll bet you’ll be like that too.”

“God, I hope not,” he shook his head.
And by the time I get around to it, it’ll probably be too late for kids, anyway.
Without thinking, he lifted his hand to his chest and rubbed it over his heart.

“You okay?” she asked.

“What? Yeah … Sophie had an idea I thought I’d run by you. I’m off after tonight, which means you’re off. I’m going to visit my grandmother and aunts tomorrow. They live at the beach, about an hour from here. Would you like to come with me?”

“The beach?”

“Yeah. There’s plenty of space at the house. We wouldn’t be sharing a room or anything like that.”
Unless you want to—just say the word.

“Of course not. I didn’t think that’s what you meant.”
But I did hope. A small part of me really hoped that’s what you meant.

“I know Minnesota has lots of lakes, but have you been to the ocean?”

“A few times. A friend and I took the train to Revere for the day. We had so much fun.”

“This is different from Revere, but I think you’d really like it.”

“Cole … your job hangs in the balance. I’m shadowing you to write a report that will influence that balance,” she said softly. “I don’t know about you, but lately I’ve had a hard time remembering my role in your life. I know you’re not manipulating me, because honestly, I don’t think you really care what I write. But if I went away with you, it would taint the report and create more trouble for both of us. I worry that we’ve already gotten too cozy.”

“You’re right. I don’t give a shit about the report, and I could care less what people think of me, but I don’t want you compromised. I’d feel bad about that.”

“If the timing were different …”

“I get it.” And he did, but he didn’t like it.

* * *

Cole seemed disappointed, and she did really want to go to the beach with him. “When all this is finished, if you’re still speaking to me, maybe you’ll invite me again?”

He squeezed her hand. “Count on it.”

They were barely at the hospital twenty minutes when their pagers went off. The Pediatric Ward. She walked toward the elevator.

“Stairs,” Cole said.

“What’s your attraction to the stairs? The elevators work really well. They can get you to the same place without gasping for breath.”

“Hot girl, horny guy, tiny box, bad idea. I’m the caped crusader, not the man of steel,” he said running up the stairs.

Alexa wasn’t sure what to make of his little quip, but she knew better than to make too much of it.

When they arrived in pediatrics, a physician, who appeared distraught, met them in the hall. “Jill, what’s going on?” Cole asked.

“Simon died an hour ago. I couldn’t save him. I tried, Cole—I tried, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t.”

“Jill, Simon had bad metastatic disease. No one could’ve saved him. You’re a great doctor, and you’ve been a good friend to Jodie, Bryan … and Simon,” he said putting his hand on her arm. “Do you want to get some coffee?”

“No. I need you, Cole. I need you. Stay with me, please. Help me forget for a little while.” She latched onto the lapels of his white coat and began kissing him.

He gripped her shoulders firmly and wrenched her away. “Whoa, Jill. We can’t do this.”

“Why not? We always do this.”

“You’re married now,” he whispered. “We haven’t done this in a long, long time. Call Alan. Talk to him for a while, maybe he can come be with you,” he said gently.

“I did. He said he was sorry, but I’m a pediatric oncologist, and these things happen,” she sobbed. “Jodie is my best friend. Simon was born when we were residents together.”

The prolonged sorrow and lack of sleep made Jill seem intoxicated, almost delusional. Alexa was torn between covering her eyes and intervening. She was struggling with her role when Cole noticed her standing nearby.

“This
does not
go in any report. It’s personal,” he spat, and put his arm protectively around Jill. “Come on, I’ll walk you back to the call room.”

Alexa watched them disappear down the hall with Jill nestled in the crook of his arm. She didn’t follow them, because it was
personal
. And from the look of things, highly personal, not that she thought he would lay one inappropriate finger on Jill. But even after everything that had happened with Christian, he’d pushed her away again, so easily, without a second thought. It gnawed at her.

Maybe she’d been mistaken about why he wanted her to go to the beach. Misread his comment about the elevator. Maybe she’d projected her own feelings onto him.

Cole stowed everyone away, each in their own tidy little compartment that he’d designed especially for them. It’s how he managed to care for so many people, how he controlled his life. But it was something she simply couldn’t live with.

* * *

He walked Jill back to the call room, laid her on a bed, took off her shoes, and stayed with her until she fell asleep. He was on his way back to find Alexa when his phone rang. He grimaced, the emergency room phoned instead of paging when disaster loomed large.

“Yeah?”

“Fifteen-year-old on his way to the OR. He’s probably not going to make it.”

For fuck’s sake—is this kids’ night to die?

A panic seized him as he hung up—he needed to reach Alexa, but he didn’t have time to find her, so he called her cell phone, instead.

“Hello?”

“I have thirty seconds. I’m on my way to the OR. Do
not
go to the observation room. It’s a kid, and his prospects are dim.”

“I’ve seen patients die.”

“Not like this. Do. Not. Go into that room.” The OR was calling. “I’ve got to go. Don’t go in there.” And he hung up.

* * *

Really? She was tired of him ordering her around like she was a naive child who needed protection. She wouldn’t stay in her compartment, no matter how comfortable or attractive he made it. Alexa filled her water bottle on the way to the observation room, and turned on the sound as soon as she arrived there.

It was awful, just awful. Unimaginably, gruesomely, awful. Heart-wrenchingly awful.

The team worked non-stop, blood spattered everywhere, not a surface spared. Cole was covered with it.

Every few minutes he would cajole, plead, “Come on Jared, come on, hang in there, buddy. Work with me here, Jared. I’ll buy you a beer when this is all over, and introduce you to some hot girls, but you gotta work with me.” They worked for nearly three hours, but despite heroic efforts, Jared died.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the operating room. Cole chucked an instrument across the room. He apologized for not being able to save the boy. But what touched her most was that he thanked everyone for giving one hundred and fifty percent. “I’ll make sure Jared’s parents know how hard you worked to save him.” He put his arm around a young nurse who was sobbing.

She would have nightmares about this for a long time. The tortured look on the child’s face, the despair on everyone else’s. The empty, lifeless body that lay on the table, an empty shell of the teenager he’d been just a few hours earlier. She couldn’t imagine how Cole, who was still so raw about Christian, could find the strength to speak to Jared’s parents. To tell them their child was gone forever.

* * *

After spending some time with Jared’s family, he went back to check on the staff before heading home.

“Have you seen Alexa, the woman who’s been observing me in the OR?” he asked a scrub nurse.

“The last time I saw her she was running out of here in tears. I tried, but I couldn’t catch up with her. She shouldn’t have been observing that procedure. I don’t know what her background is,” the nurse shrugged. “She might need to talk to someone. You know, the shrink.”

“Christ.” He needed to find her, see how she was doing. He was too wired to sleep anyway.

Dammit! I told her not to go in there. She could be so stubborn sometimes. He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends. I don’t even know why I bother—she does whatever she wants anyway.