My Sort-of, Kind-of Hero (12 page)

“A little stressed?” Jill offers helpfully.

I stare back at her.

“Have you ever thought of writing something else? Or just make it up,” Jill says, shrugging.

“I can’t,” I say.

And really it’s not from lack of trying. I’ve spent the last week trying to come up with the ultimate love story, but it all seems so cliché. I just haven’t got it right yet, and I know it’s because it’s not really the story I want to write.

“It’s like I have a craving for chocolate, but I don’t have any in the house. I can eat everything else in sight, be really full, but I still want the stupid chocolate,” I say in an attempt to make her understand. “I know what my story is supposed to be, and Travis is my stupid chocolate.”

“He is pretty yummy,” Jill says, smiling and peering out the window again.

I roll my eyes.

“It will be fine,” she assures me. “You can talk to Travis today, get back on track.”

“I hope so,” I tap my foot as I finish arranging the vegetables. “If he wasn’t just so stubborn all the time!”

“Uh oh,” my dad comes in the room but dramatically stops short. “Are we talking about boys?”

I roll my eyes. “No, we’re talking about stubborn men.”

“So we
are
talking about boys,” he says and comes over to stand beside me, helping himself to some of the veggies off the platter.

“Who did what this time?” he asks Jill.

She raises her hands in defense. “This time it isn’t my problem.”

“Travis is not exactly being the ideal muse,” I say while I dip one of the carrots into the ranch dressing.

“And you really expect him to be?” he asks, trying to hide his smile.

“Well, I expected him to try a little harder,” I say defensively.

“I never understand how you manage to talk him into these things,” my dad says, leaning across the counter for a piece of bruschetta. “Even Scott gave up most times. But you were always able to convince Travis to stick it out with you.”

“Well, we aren’t ten anymore,” I argue. “And apparently he’s taken a card from Scott’s book.”

“I don’t know,” my dad says, wiping his mouth. “He’s always been team Etty. You can’t just switch.”

“Have you and Mom been watching the Twilight series again?” I accuse.

My dad just raises his eyebrows but doesn’t say anything.

My dad is team Jacob; Mom is team Edward; I’m team I don’t care.

Not that I have anything against Twilight, it’s just when you come into the house and your parents are in the middle of a legitimate argument over what creature they would like
their
daughter to date… things just got weird for me. I
told
Scott not to drop those movies off at their house; now whenever they have to decide on something they say they are “team so-and-so”.

“How did you and mom do on the obstacle race?” I ask.

“I let her win,” he says, a little too casually. Mom kicked his butt.

“Everyone is loving that thing,” Jill says from the window. “Your whole street is outside.”

“We should probably get back out there,” I say, “I want to make sure I have plenty of time to gloat in front of Travis.’

“Hmm,” Jill says, raising her eyebrows. “I’m not sure he’ll notice.”

“What? Why?”

“Because, he seems to be pretty interested in the woman that just arrived,” Jill says, shooting me a knowing glance. “And it doesn’t look like they are meeting for the first time, if you know what I mean.”

“What?” I abandon the food and run to the window. I pull back the curtains as far as they will go and peer out. “I don’t believe it!”

“What? Do you know her?” Jill asks.

“That’s Tina! The lady I rented the obstacle course from.” I stand by the window, fuming, and shake my head.

“Am I missing something? Why are you so mad? Don’t you want Travis to start dating someone so you can start writing your book?”

I cannot believe this. I really can’t. This whole time he has been giving me a hard time about the obstacle course, making me feel terrible about going behind his back for it, and he does the exact same thing. I specifically asked him five days ago if he had any new love prospects and he said no.

That liar.

“Not her, though!” I say, throwing down the curtain when I see her touch Travis’ arm, laughing− no doubt at one of his lame jokes.

Exactly how many dates have they been on? I do some quick calculations in my head, and if they have gone out twice a week since he met her that is at least four times. And here I am, sitting at home, pulling my hair out trying to get material for this book− and Travis has been having a grand old time wooing her.

Jill looks at me thoughtfully before smirking.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing,” she says, shrugging. “It’s just… you said you wanted to write this book, but first that girl from the restaurant wasn’t any good, and now you don’t like Tina.”

“It’s not that I don’t
like
Tina,” I argue.

Jill shrugs. “I’m just saying that one would perhaps think there is a reason that you don’t like any of these women.”

“Such as?” I ask, frowning.

“Well… maybe
you
want to date Travis,” Jill says.

I stare at her as though she has two heads and then burst out laughing. “Are you crazy?”

I turn to look at my dad, but he doesn’t seem to think this revelation is the most hilarious thing he’s ever heard. He just gives me a smug, knowing look before diving into more of the food.

“You’re both crazy,” I say, backing up. “I don’t want to date Travis.”

“Okay,” Jill says, nodding her head.

“I don’t!” I say, more emphatically.

“So why don’t you like Tina, then?” she asks.

“I do like Tina!” I lie, because for some inexplicable reason at this very second I really can’t stand her. “It’s the principle of what is happening here that I don’t like.”

“The what?”

“The principle,” I repeat. “Travis was angry that I booked that obstacle course, but has been lying to me and all this time been dating the inflatable lady!”

“I don’t get it,” Jill says, shaking her head.

“If it weren’t for me, they wouldn’t have even met! And now he’s shutting me out,” I argue. “We have a contract!”

“So, you’re mad because he’s dating the obstacle course lady without your permission?”

“Yes− no−,” I sigh. “It’s complicated. But it’s not because I’m jealous of her.” I have no idea why I add this, especially when I see Jill’s eyes light up.

“Hey, you don’t have to convince us,” Jill says, shrugging.

For some reason, her inclusion of my father in the “us” annoys me even further; like I am part of some inside joke that I don’t know about.

I walk over to the veggie platter and pick it up while my dad is in the middle of picking out a piece of celery. I walk it into the dining room, put it on the table without saying anything else, pick up my sweater and put it on before going out the back door.

Date Travis? Honestly, that’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. And the fact that some of the closest people in my life are perplexed as to why I feel this way is a little unnerving. It makes me wonder if they know me at all.

Jill is wrong. Sara was all wrong for Travis. Even he could see that. And Tina?

Well… for one, I’m not sure she gave me the best deal on the obstacle course. Which makes her dishonest.

And two… she, er− she scares like a two year old! How could the two of them ever see a scary movie?

And three… umm… well, I can’t think of anything right now, but it is there. I know it.

The two of them are standing close to the entrance of the obstacle course. I casually make my way over and I can feel Jill’s eyes from the window watching my every move.

“Well the movie starts at six, if you’re interested,” I overhear Tina say to Travis.

“I think I will be done by five,” Travis says to her, and it takes everything inside of me to stay calm. Honestly, we have been planning this party for months and now he is counting down the time to when the two of them can sneak off together. Well, not sneak… they’d probably just leave in his car, but still.

And they haven’t even checked if I’m able to go with them.

I move my body so I’m standing right beside the two of them and clear my throat.

They both turn to look at me; Tina smiles, Travis frowns.

“Hello, Tina,” I say, plastering on the best smile I can muster. “I didn’t know you were going to be here today.”

I wait for the explanation and after a deliberate (or am I just being paranoid?) pause, she answers, “Just came to see if everything is working out okay.”

So, that’s the story they are going with. Interesting. I wonder if they planned that out at one of their super-secret rendezvous.

I turn and watch Scott and his wife running through the obstacle course. “It seems to be a big hit.” I say this as casually as I possibly can so that Travis doesn’t think I came over here to gloat. Which I didn’t. I came over here to see if they would admit to their secret affair.

If I happen to get to say I told you so, well, then that’s just an added bonus.

“I can see that,” she says, nodding.

Travis doesn’t say anything, and I wait.

“Have you been through it yet, Travis?” I ask, sneaking a peak at his face from the corner of my eye.

“Not yet,” he says, and I see his lips twitch. “The lineup has been pretty long.”

Uh huh. So he knows it’s a hit.

“The neighbours don’t seem to mind it,” he says, looking around.

The snowblower guy has been on it six times.

“They chipped in some money earlier before Scott got here so all their kids could have a turn,” I say, shrugging like it’s no big deal, when in fact I made two hundred dollars. I did the whole reluctant: “No, really, you don’t have to give me anything”, but my parents’ street is all retired people who love to spoil their grandchildren. They keep slipping bills into my pocket with a pitying look, like they know I can’t afford this thing, and the money will be our little secret.

“I even got the permit for free,” I say.

Alright, so the permit is always free, but I’m not going to tell him that.

No one says anything, and the silence gets uncomfortably awkward very quickly. I feel like I am the third wheel, which is kind of ironic considering I am mad at them for
not
making me their third wheel.

“So, er−,” I say, shuffling my foot on the ground. “The inflation process went very smooth−”

“Who’s next?” Scott yells, panting from running the course.

Oh thank God.

“I am!” I yell, unnecessarily putting my hand in the air.

I’m really not sure what I was trying to accomplish by going to stand with the love birds. Maybe to see if they would confess, let me in on their little secret. To see if they are really seeing each other or she just always inappropriately touches her client’s arms. In which case, I’m her client. If she is going to touch anyone inappropriately, it should be me.

That came out wrong.

I go stand next to Scott and start stretching my arms out. I haven’t been on the obstacle course yet, but I see everyone else come off exhausted, so I feel it wouldn’t hurt to do a couple stretches. Also, it makes me look like I have somewhat of a clue what I am doing, when in reality I’m really nervous I won’t be able to get over the climbing wall.

“Who are you going to race?” Scott asks from beside me.

I look at him and frown. “I don’t know. I could race you.”

He shakes his head. “I’ve done it three times now and I haven’t worked out in over a year. If I do this thing again I will have a heart attack.”

Before I can say anything else Scott yells, “Okay, we need someone to come race my little sister here! Any volunteers?”

I look around, but everyone seems to be doing their own thing at the moment. Grandmas are fixing their grandkids jackets, couples are talking or eating from paper plates.

And here I am, standing with my brother, and for some reason I just keep stretching.

“I guess everyone’s taking a break,” Scott offers.

If no one volunteers in ten seconds I am going back in the house to die of embarrassment.

“I’ll race,” Travis says, coming over and taking off his sweatshirt. His shirt underneath gets stuck with his sweater, giving everyone looking a full show at just how much he works out.

I go to the gym once a year, on New Year’s Day. I only ever make it as far as the receptionist when I realise I have no money and decide to rely on my wonderful metabolism for as long as I can.

Travis, on the other hand, loves the gym. He goes at five in the morning because he says he likes it when it’s very quiet. He once tried to convince me to go with him and I laughed for about five minutes. Then I realised he was being serious and told him I had my own exercise routine, which we were both fully aware was me walking to and from work when Lloyd decides not to cooperate.

But now I am thinking the gym can’t be such a bad idea.

I dart my eyes in Tina’s direction and she is staring at Travis.

“Let’s do this,” I say, taking the starting point on the left side.

Travis now has his clothes all in place and is standing beside me on the right.

“So, what’s the bet this time?” he asks, rolling his shoulders and shaking out his legs.

I start stretching even more.

“Nothing,” I say, trying to touch my toes but only making it to my knees.

“Nothing?” Travis raises his eyebrows in speculation. “That’s very unlike you.”

“I’m not sure if you know this, but I have been looking at this obstacle course for weeks. I’m smaller than you and can run faster,” I say, matter-of-factly. “Basically, I’m going to kick your ass.”

“Is that so?” Travis says, chuckling. “So, why don’t you want to bet, then?”

“Because,” I get into my ready position, and Scott comes to stand right beside us. “It would be cruel to beat you
and
make you look ridiculous in front of your new girlfriend.”

“My what?” Travis asks, standing up straighter just as Scott screams, “Go!”

I use Travis’s hesitation to my advantage and I spring off my feet, throwing myself through the inflatable tunnel.