My Love Forgive (20 page)

“Risa, I’ll be back later tonight. I’m afraid you’ll have to make your own dinner tonight. Can you manage or should I arrange for a meal to be brought to you?”

I smiled and teased, “I’ve only cooked for myself since I was a teenager. I’m sure I’ll be okay.”

It took a moment for my intent to register. “Ah. Of course.”

I slid over until I could climb into his lap. Wrapping my arms around his chest, I laid my head over his heart. The steady beat soothed me. “I’ll be here when you get back, Damian.” I kissed the spot over his heart. “I hope everything is okay and if it’s not, I hope it turns out okay. I also hope you can tell me about it, but if you can’t I understand.”

“Thank you.” He smoothed his hand down my back. “You are the sweetest girl I’ve ever known.”

“I have my moments.”

He finally smiled. “As do I?”

“As do you.”

Our mouths met in a kiss filled with love and adoration. He pulled back a long minute later. “I’ll be back tonight, Risa.”

“Okay.”

He coughed once. “Also, there’s going to be a security detail on the property.”

I paused. “Say what?”

“Security.”

“Uh, Damian. Why would you need that?”

“It’s part of my world. Sometimes. You won’t see them and they’ll leave when I come back.”

My giddy feelings for him cooled as a suspicion took root. “Are they here to make sure I don’t run off?”

“Absolutely not.”

His vehemence ensured I believed him. “Okay.”

Damian’s mouth tightened in the way I’d become very familiar with whenever he gave me news I wouldn’t really care for.

“Risa, they are not here to make sure you don’t run but I am going to ask you to stay inside until I get back. Please.”

There was understanding and then there was blind understanding.

“Damian, what’s going on?”

His brow knitted for a second before smoothing out. “I can’t explain. Not now. Will you do as I ask? Or do you need encouragement?”

It wasn’t meant to be a threat but rather an enticement. In other circumstances I would absolutely have taken him up on it.

“No. I’ll do as you ask.”

The tension eased out of his shoulders. “You’re such a
good
girl, Risa. I love you more than ever for it.”

I shifted in his lap. That kind of praise wasn’t doing much to keep me on the right side of being good. It made me want Damian to do rather
bad
things to me.

“Yeah, and you can show me just how good I am with enticements galore when you get back.”

Damian flicked my forehead. “Bossy girl.”

“But your girl?”

Tenderness softened his gaze again. “Yes, my girl. My
perfect
girl. The only one for me.”

Just before everything went blacker than black, I remembered my conversation with Gretchen about Risa.

“
I just want her. Completely. I want to break her, dig out her imperfections, and remake Risa into who I know she can be.”

Such arrogance.

Now it was too late. There would be no more hearing her laughter, picking her up and taking her wherever I wished because it pleased me. That time was over and even now I didn’t regret it.

I would do it all over again.

I would take that fateful moment to watch her pull off her one shoe.

I would take that support ticket from Malcolm and go to her office and dare myself to resist her charms.

I would shock her senseless in the hallway with talk of cream.

I would be the rude bastard all over again because at least then Risa found it impossible to ignore me or confuse me with her penchant for other men with impressive academic pedigrees.

I would woo her in my newfound clumsy way and wouldn’t trade anything in the world for the nervousness and excitement I felt going on my first dinner date with her.

I would make love to her a hundred times over again.

I would seduce her into letting me dominate her sexually, in taking advantage of her fascination with me so I could do whatever I wanted to her every single night.

I would cook her a hundred meals, no matter how fatty or fried, just so I could watch her practically melt in her chair with bliss.

I would kiss away her tears.

I would keep her from leaving me.

I would drug, abduct, and put her on my private plane all over again.

I would live all these things over and over again.

With her.

For her.

Regret struck me. I would’ve liked more time with Risa but it wasn’t meant to be. Wetness mingled with the blood. Tears. Although my life was bleeding out I knew here was but another experience I had because of the woman I fell profanely in love with…

She’ll be safe. At least that much I could do for her…Risa…

A final memory arose.

“
Okay! I’m all for honesty, Damian. What should we start with? Oh! How about this? Do you know where my name comes from? Really? It’s actually from Star Trek and—”

What was she going to say? Why was it so important to her for it to be the first thing she ever shared with me?

Risa…

I’d walked Damian to the door earlier, just when night was making its twilight descent. My hands busily smoothed the lapels of his overcoat, feeling sadness that he was leaving, especially over something that was obviously causing him a significant amount of stress.

“You can go wherever you want, Risa. There are no locked doors to keep you out in this house. It’s yours as much as it is mine.”

His words filled me with so much joy that I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from grinning like a schoolgirl. “No room full of your other wives’ heads or anything gruesome like that?”

“I’m afraid to disappoint you, little girl, but I’m no Bluebeard.” Damian tapped the end of my nose and smiled.

“Darn!”

“There’s plenty of food in the kitchen. You can even fry some chicken if you want.”

My favorite comfort food. I squeezed his hand before bringing it up to my lips. “You thought of everything, didn’t you?”

“Of course. You’ll be a good girl while I’m gone, won’t you?

“Of course, I will.”

His lips ticked up into a tiny smile. “There is no ‘of course’ about it, Risa. You’ve got a nose for trouble.”

“I. Do. Not.”

“Yes. You. Do.”

I turned my aggrieved nose with a huff. I ruined the effect by looking back at him and winking.

Damian lifted me up high in the air and spun me around. Over my shrieks, he crowed, “See? Already in trouble.”

Laughing, I waited until he stopped. “You’re using your superior height against me. No fair.”

Damian tucked me close. His lips hovered over mine. “Superior? No, I don’t think so. I think your height is rather nice. Look how perfect you fit in my arms, Risa.”

“Only because they’re
your
arms.” I bridged the distance between us and kissed him. It was bruising sweet and ended far too quickly.

I loved this strange, complicated, taciturn, beautiful, exotic man with all my heart.

Soon he set me down, reluctantly if the hard set of his jaw was any indication. “I’ll be back for you tonight, Risa. No matter what.”

Coldness slid down my spine. “You say things like that and I’ll get nervous, Damian. I tend to do weird things when I get nervous.”

He didn’t return my teasing grin. Instead, he swore, “I’ll be back.”

“Okay.”

Damian looked at me a bit longer before saying, “Goodbye.”

“Bye.”

“Lock the door behind me.”

“Okay.”

It was all domestic and familiar, even if a little abrupt. But that was Damian. I could hardly expect him to change his personality now that he’d declared his love for me. Throwing the locks, I tried my best to shake off my nervousness over Damian’s extremely somber mood. It was probably business or one of a thousand things related to it.

It had to be. He would’ve told me otherwise, wouldn’t he?

I’d taken a couple of steps before I heard the door unlock. Whirling about, I was surprised to see Damian march right back inside. Before I could toss out a quip, he framed my face with his hands.

“I love you, Risa.”

His raw whisper couple with his fervent gaze was worth paying any price. Placing my hands over his, I whispered, “I love you too. So much, Damian. More than anything. I’ve loved you from the start I think.”

“I know. Me too.” He nuzzled my warm cheek with his lips. “Thank you for this weekend.”

His gaze burned fever bright into mine. I couldn’t look away. “You don’t have anything to thank me for. I was terrible.”

“No, not even close.” He then possessed my mouth. Damian’s tongue plunged deep, sensuously sliding against mine, before retreating.

Breathless, I reached for him again. Damian gave in and before I knew it, we somehow stumbled against a nearby wall. Ravenous, I raked my hand through his hair and anchored my leg against his.

The weakness in me wanted to beg him to forget the call and stay with me. No matter how much I may have wanted it, obviously it wasn’t the right thing for him to do.

He had to go. Still it was hard to be so reasonable when I just wanted him to pick me up and carry me off to bed.

Damian finally broke free. He bowed and rested his head against my shoulder. I hugged him tightly, feeling the tension in every part of his body. Although I wanted to respect his space, I couldn’t help but ask, “Damian, what’s going on?”

Whatever emotion was strong enough to drive him back into my arms sadly dissipated with my question. He stood up to his full height and cupped my chin with one steady hand. “I’ll be back, Risa. Stay good.”

I trailed after him, unable to wave him off for fear that what he
wasn’t
telling me was going to come back on us in a big way.

You’re just being paranoid. It’ll be fine.

That’s what I’d been telling myself for the past six hours.

I watched a couple of dvds in the library, cuddled up on the leather couch with a cozy blanket and doing my best to first concentrate on the love story between Keira Knightly and her Mr. Darcy. Later even Ryan Gosling couldn’t keep me enthralled in his classic love story although I did sob at the end like I always did.

Darkness had already fallen for several hours but still I looked out the windows, hoping to catch glimpse of Damian’s security detail. Knowing they were out there made me feel equal parts safe and nervous.

Not because I didn’t trust them but because their presence signified something terribly important had pulled Damian in and I was scared that it wasn’t just business.

I forced myself to make something to eat. Comfort food would’ve been awesome, but the circumstances promised it would’ve been wasted on me. Instead, I made myself a small platter of fruit, cheese, and crackers. Normally not a drinker, I found Damian’s rum and decided a bit of spirits was in order.

It was as I refilled my glass that I heard the doorbell ring rather urgently.

I froze, unsure of what to do. It was nighttime, I was alone, and for all I knew the security detail had been massacred by whatever it was they were guarding against.

The doorbell went again.

I had to do something. With my heart stuck in my throat, I went over to the counter and pulled a butcher knife out of the block. Whether I’d use it on living flesh had yet to ever be seen, but it was better to be prepared than not.

Holding the knife behind my back, I slowly walked to the entrance, feeling exposed because of all the glass. The impressive portal of glass and wood was for show, not security. Somehow it made me feel a tiny bit better. Damian wouldn’t have this kind of door if he didn’t trust his surroundings. He also wouldn’t have left me here if he didn’t trust that I’d be okay.

That much I knew.

Unlocking the door, I opened it wide enough to see the two men waiting. Both were dressed in dark coats, cobalt blue ties framed against white shirts, and looking like smartly attired stockbrokers versus ex-military or something to that effect.

“Yes?”

“Ms. Kelly, you must come with us. Now.”

I pulled back, seeking an inch of safety at a time. “I don’t understand.”

“Mr. Kon—” He stopped in mid-word when the other man broke in a low whisper of something that sounded like a language from Eastern Europe. He gave a short nod and began again. “Mr. Black-Price requires you by his side.”

My body went numb. “Did something happen to him?”

The guard’s icy blue gaze didn’t betray any answer. “You must come.”

“But—”

“Excuse me, Ms. Kelly, but we do not have too much time.”

The knife slipped from my hand and clattered to the floor. Neither of the men seemed surprised by its existence or my behavior in having it.

I blinked back a rush of tears, thinking of how I’d make Damian look bad to his staff by my loss of emotions. The thought didn’t make sense but I clung to it like I’d clung to him earlier.

Damian had to be okay. He just had to.

I grabbed my wayward emotions and stuffed them in a tiny box. “I need to get my coat and shoes. Please wait.”

They both gave sharp nods and the urge to “Hurry.” I scrambled upstairs, running down the hallway and bursting into my room. I automatically looked over at the window I’d destroyed, but it was partially boarded up and covered by heavy drapery.

Still, I felt the cold seeping through and making the whole room cold. As cold as I felt not knowing what had happened to my Damian.

I carefully made my way over to the closet, mindful that even though Damian had cleaned up the floor, it was possible that a stray shard had been missed. My clothes were hanging neatly in the impressive dressing room. Another time I would’ve admired the sapphire blue walls, gilt trim, and flattering lighting, but panic kept me focused on getting my things and rushing back downstairs.

I saw my purse on the island and quickly checked to make sure I had my ID. Opening it further, I saw my passport and pulled it out with a frown. Damian had been extremely thorough in preparing for any inevitability.

Type A personality all the way to the core.