My Love Forgive (2 page)

“Well, not really. I mean he didn’t say it with attitude or anything. He just said it. I made it sound worse than it sounds. Really. It was kinda cute now that I think back on it.” Julie glanced at the open door of the filing room to see if anyone was within earshot. Satisfied she shared, “Here’s the thing—he’s really tall too.”

Okay, that was why Julie had clued me in about the new guy. I loved, loved, loved tall men. The taller the better.

“Really?”

“Mmm hmm. Really, really tall. Like 6’5” tall.”

“That’s pretty specific. How do you know? You didn’t ask, did you?”

“I did.”

Popular truthisms said we all want what we aren’t or can’t have. It was definitely true in my case. Standing in three inch heels at only 5’2”, I had a few fetishes. One was for tall men. The taller, the better. There was something so comforting about being with someone who could pick you up and toss you over his shoulder anytime he wanted. Although, to be honest, no one had yet to do that to me but hope was a good thing to have.

Get a hold of yourself, Risa.

I cleared my throat. “How did you ask him about his height?”

Julie leaned against the filing cabinet and grinned. “I just did, Risa. Besides, Accounting and IT have it like that. We’re the nerds that have to band together because you Account Executives talk so much smack about us.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I love you guys so much.” I leaned in and gave the much taller girl a squeeze around the waist. “You’re all so cute with your numbers and patches and budgets that get on
everyone’s
nerves—”

“And making sure you get paid on time and that your computers work and that you still have a building to come to…”

“I know! I know! You know what else makes you cool?”

“What?”

“That you told me about the new hire. I’m all tingly.”

“I figured you would be. If I wasn’t married…” Julie sighed with a tiny bit of regret. “He’s so damn fine and just wait until you see his eyes! Honestly, I’ve never seen anything like it. Also he’s got that whole cold/hot evil scientist vibe going on. It’s really, really sexy.”

“Julie, you have to stop! Otherwise I’m just going to go over to the IT lair, bang on the door, and make them let me in to see him for myself.” I fanned myself with the forgotten files.

Yes, I definitely had a few fetishes. Tall men. Shy men. Nerdy, beautiful men. Tall, hot scientists with big brains and even bigger packages.

Not that I’ve ever technically met one in real life but a girl’s gotta hope.

“Okay, Miss Risa. When are you going to make the moves to see this gorgeous specimen of manhood?”

“Soon. Tomorrow’s Friday. I think I’ll do it right before the end of the day.”

“Look only. Don’t let this turn out into some big HR fiasco,” she warned with an upraised brow and teasing grin.

“Hey! I’ve never actually done anything with someone I worked with. Drinks, dinner, and a little flirting. That’s all.” I craned my head to see if we still had privacy. “So what’s his name?”

“Damian Black.”

He’s about to come.

Damian’s cock swelled. The head barely fit past the tight circle of my lips. His breathing hitched—a deep inhale followed by a short exhale. It had quickly become one of my favorite sounds in the world.

My body hummed with triumph. I lived for the moments when I made him lose control.

Damian, knees bent deeply to accommodate our extreme height difference, kept his gaze fixated on mine. Hunched over, back bowed, and arms flexed from gripping my hair so tightly, he never wavered.

Losing myself in silver and gold, I wondered what he thought of me at these moments. Did Damian spend his days living for the nights when pleasure cleared all the burdens and worries from his slate like they did mine?

I hoped so. I’d hate to be alone in my loving fixation.

As if he peeked into my mind, Damian narrowed his gaze and quickened his pace. My moans grew hungry, shameless, and pleading. My thighs tensed, straining against the burn from kneeling so long while my nails dug deeply into my palms as a reminder what this all meant.

Love? Surrender? Forever?

Damian gasped a stealthy token to the phenomenal orgasm I created. His fingers burrowed deeper in my hair, making me wince from a delicious pain.

Still I swallowed him. Wet, loud swallows laced with pleasured, satisfied sighs created music for my personal consumption. Eyes wide open, locked onto his, I lost myself in the delicious moment of watching his elegant face transform into vulgarity.

I craved these moments with unhealthy fixation. I lived for the rare minutes when Damian gave up control and became helplessly human.

Filthy, unstable, and beautiful in his loss of superior intellect and emotional control, Damian was utterly gorgeous in his base bestial nature. I never tired of seeing this side of him, preferring to think of it as his secret face that only I was blessed enough to witness.

I sucked the broad tip of him several times before laving his long length with the flat of my tongue. I waited for Damian to pull back before releasing him from my mouth.

“You didn’t swallow it all, Risa.”

I touched my chin, a slippery mess of spittle and apparently milky white fluid. Fear-laced excitement made my limbs lock up. Things were about to get very interesting.

“You promised you would swallow all of it if I fucked your mouth. You didn’t keep your word, Risa.”

I wiped my face with the back of my hand. I dropped my head in contrition. In masochistic craving for the games we played going by the names of discipline and delight.

“Now I’m going to keep mine. Face down on the bed, Risa. That’s a good girl.” His large hand skimmed down one thigh and then the other before settling on my rounded backside.

Desire and fear made me a helpless addict and Damian was my drug of choice.

One Month Earlier

“You’re having a problem with your e-mail.”

I looked away from the monitor, surprised to be caught unawares. One look and I knew this was
him
. The glorious, phenomenal unicorn I’d been chasing my whole life was standing less than five feet away. Dumbfounded, my breath exited in a stuttered
whoosh
.

Oh…wow. He’s more than cute. He’s gorgeous.

I looked into his eyes and felt my entire body tingle in fascination. I tilted my head a bit to the side, wanting to fall into the thickly lashed gaze meeting mine so evenly. Sarah wasn’t exaggerating when she mentioned his eyes. They were unusual and exotic. One orb was so light a gray it almost looked silver. The other was an unusual shade of amber, so bright it nearly appeared gold.

His eyes are so beautiful. I could stare at them forever.

“I’m Damian Black. Miss Kelly?”

“Umm, yes.” I frowned and shook my head a bit. Already I sounded flustered and out of control. I cleared my throat and tried again. “I just called IT. Thanks for coming so quickly.”

His hair is as dark as mine. Nice. All of him is beautiful. If I had to just go on superficial looks then I’d say I just found my husband. Really. I don’t think a single man walking the planet could top this one.

He acknowledged my pleasantry with an impersonal “It’s my job.”

Undeterred by his brevity, I straightened my shoulders and smiled. “Aren’t you the new director?”

“Yes.”

“Then why are you here?”

“This company isn’t so large that I shouldn’t be available for tech support.”

His matter-of-fact tone threw me. “Oh. It’s just that the old director never answered these kinds of calls.”

“That is why he is no longer employed here.” Damian shifted our conversation back. “What’s wrong with your e-mail?”

“I can’t send any out.”

“You’re still receiving.”

“Uh, yes.” My cheeks warmed. I was used to being the one to make men sound unsure. How he was doing it to
me
made me want to slink away and have a do over. Perhaps it was because he wasn’t asking me how things were—he was
telling
me with quiet confidence.

It mesmerized me as much as it unsettled.

I was used to the IT guys shifting from foot to foot anytime they were out in the cubicle maze. Not necessarily intimidated but just uncomfortable from being out of their precious cave where pizza was delivered daily and Mountain Dew came in the front door by the case.

Hell, I couldn’t blame them. Work sounded a lot more fun when you could hang out in a locked room with an over-the-door video camera wired to the monitor inside. No getting caught by the boss while watching DVDs, playing video games, or whatever else they did in that secured-access-only room of theirs.

My dad was the DBA at his company and from all the tales he regaled me with, I always wondered if I would’ve been having a blast all-day-every-day if I’d gotten my degree in computers instead of in business. Seeing the man in front of me definitely made me regret it.

“Have you restarted your computer?” Damian’s soft tone suddenly did wondrous things with my fertile imagination. I could easily overlay his voice to “
Have you masturbated today like a good girl?
”

“No.” It was a hard thing to keep my gaze on his but I managed. Barely. It was a hard thing especially because our imaginary selves had just taken things to a naughtier level. I cleared my throat and said, “I like to follow the rules, Damian, and we’ve had it on longstanding policy not to do perform our own troubleshooting on our computers once we put in a call. I thought it best for me to wait for…someone…you…to come down here first before I did anything”

A faint smile stole across his face. I wondered what I’d said that amused him.

“Please restart.”

“Now?”

He simply nodded. I hated how the economical movement made me feel inept suddenly. The pleasant fantasy inside my head darkened before fizzling. Damian Black seemed entirely too self-contained a person to ever let passion dictate his actions.

Ah, once again reality trumps over fantasy. Still, I can indulge just a little bit longer. What would I want you to do, Damian?

I smiled in direct lie to the X-rated visions cavorting all through my head. Yes, I was a lusty pervert of the discreet order. And yes, I was enjoying the thoughts of Damian naked and having his way with me.

And no, I wouldn’t be sharing exactly what we were doing anytime soon.

“Okay, just give me a minute to save everything before I shut down.”

“Restart.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not shutting down. You’re restarting.”

“Oh, I know. It was just the wrong choice of words.” The mental visuals of kneeling before him vanished into a black cloud of resentment. I resisted the immature instinct to snap at Damian over his nitpicking.

Jeez. You know what I meant.

Instead, I pasted on a bright, accommodating smile. “Would you like to sit down while you’re waiting?”

“No. I won’t be here long.”

“Okay. Suit yourself.” I made sure my grin wasn’t too wide and just a shade under warm. My fingers tapped quickly over the keyboard before reaching for the mouse.

“CTRL S.”

“What?”

“CTRL S is the shortcut to save a document. Shortcuts keep you from relying solely on your mouse.”

My cheeks filled with blood. I didn’t like having the obvious pointed out to me. While I wasn’t a tech erudite by any means, I wasn’t ignorant either. “I’m aware of shortcuts. I just like my mouse.”

Damian gave me another stingy nod. “Of course.”

“No, really. I know about shortcuts. I use them sometimes.”

Risa, shut up! You don’t have to explain yourself to him.

He kept his stare remote. Damian’s thoughts were completely invisible to me but judgment somehow seeped out from his ash and bronze gaze.

My fingers curled away from the mouse. They clacked over the two keys in question with supreme authority. I failed to keep the frown off my face. It tugged at my red lips and scrunched my forehead.

I hate losing control. Hate it, hate it, hate it! Which only goes to prove I’d have too much attitude to really be anyone’s submissive. Thanks for ruining my happy time. Jerk.

“You should stop that.”

I bit back the only four-letter word I seemed to keep answering him with. Instead, I tried a bit of variety and lightly inquired, “Stop what?” only to wince as the ‘what’ word skittered out anyways.

“You’re going to develop premature wrinkles with the way you frown.”

“And ruin my pretty face?” I teased, hoping to coax a friendly smile from him. Anything actually other than the impassive expression I’d become acquainted with so far.

Damian cocked his head to the side. “It will ruin your face.”

I inhaled with more force than usual. I wasn’t sure if his social skills were blunted, but even so, I never did run from a challenge.

Take back the control.

“You just started this week, right?”

“Yes.”

His tiny smile emboldened me. Confidence rolled through me. I rocked back in my chair. “Would you like to go out to dinner with me tomorrow?”

“No.”

And with that Damian continued on as if I’d never spoken.

I arched in an attempt to escape. Displeased, Damian spanked my ass harder. I sobbed his name in supplication, unable to keep myself from disobeying because I liked getting his attention in all its forms.

How demented did that make me? I was afraid to ever find out.

Damian tightened his grip on the crossed wrists adorning the small of my back. “Lay still, Risa. You know this will only prolong things.”

I ceased my desperate squirming and pressed my face against the rumpled sheets. Only then did he continue, harder than before. Damian’s hand fell over and over again, relentless in its punishment. I kicked out my legs as a low moan seeped past compressed lips.

“It hurts.”

“It’s supposed to hurt, Risa, otherwise it’s not a punishment. Stop whining over this and focus.”

His cold dismissal inflamed my sudden despair, unleashing a part of me that had been growing stronger every time Damian dismissed my feelings. Reckless, I turned towards his thigh. My teeth sank deep before he pushed me violently off his lap. Although I hadn’t broken the skin, Damian’s low hiss promised calculated retribution.