My Life From Hell (42 page)

But what about filling that need with love for ourselves?
Had anyone ever asked me that, I’d have scoffed at them. Of course I loved myself, blah blah blah. But I hadn’t. Not really. Even once I’d been restored to my goddess status, I’d spent so much time trying to find external validation.

My chest grew hot and tight. Persephone and I? We were worthy and worth love. Anyone who thought otherwise or tried to make us feel that it was conditional? That was their problem. Not ours. “We never believed how powerful we were. Not like superpowered. Amazing. Alive. We couldn’t because we never loved ourselves.”

A knot deep in my chest, deep in my heart, loosened, and I cried. For lost years. For broken hearts. For never feeling good enough, when that had never ever been the case. Ugly soul wrenching tears poured from me.

My compassion for Persephone felt absolute. Utter alignment and understanding. Her and I were one and the same.

The stone stopped moving at the base of my throat. The pomegranate tree had burned down to a twisted stump. But there was still life in it. Seeing that, my crying changed. It was no longer about grief. It became about hope.

Kiki sensed the change. “Say it.”

I could barely get the words out. To me, always so flip, it was terrifying to say something this real. Part of me was still scared that if I voiced the words, the mocking laughter would return. I believed what I was about to say, but it was still so fragile. Its roots in me were still so shallow that this new Sophie ecosystem could be destroyed in a breath.

The rock rose to press against my jaw. It was now or never.

“It’s not about being the best Sophie
and
Persephone, or even the best Sophie
or
Persephone. Just the best person. And for the first time in my life, I love that person. All of her.” I could barely speak. The stone choked me, distorting my words.

But no one laughed. I was going to be all right.

Better than all right.

I raised my chin up and met Kiki’s eyes. “I am divine.” On every level.

Kiki beamed at me. “That’s all you ever needed to understand.” She pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Now end this.”

In the next breath I found myself back on Earth.

On fire.

But I was free of the rock.

It was hard to tell if the apocalypse was still in full swing, or who was fighting who, because the flames consumed me. Happily, they were of some magical variety that didn’t hurt, but I could still only see orange and blue dancing before my eyes. Only hear a crackling roar.

This was it. The final piece. The way to defeat Zeus and Hades. And why I was on fire. I had to become the ward of love that would keep Earth safe. So many times I’d pulled fury and fire and lightning into myself and projected it back to the world. Now, I simply loved.

For the first time in my life, I truly understood peace.

I felt flames shoot from my body to the heavens and beyond. Felt them burrow deep into the ground as I created a ward to not only keep Earth safe from the gods’ destruction, but also to heal all the damage they’d taken in the name of their war.

“All You Need is Love” played over and over in my head. The happiest of soundtracks.

I lost all sense of time as I surrendered. To the flames, and to love. I closed my eyes. My heart felt calm and full.

Creating the ward felt like having a blood transfusion. My ordinary plasma was replaced with some new elixir that pounded warmth and strength and hope and fabulous life through my veins. The stronger the ward grew, the stronger the earth grew, the stronger and better I felt.

It was a rush. One I hated to leave. But I couldn’t stand there impersonating a bonfire forever. I had a life to live. And what a magnificent life it was going to be.

As the orchestral sounds of The Beatles’ song ebbed away, I knew it was time to bond the ward into place. The flames flared bright and hot, and then winked out.

I opened my eyes and smiled. I was in back in the garden of my reality. But it was no longer overgrown and forlorn under a gray sky. Spring had come. Full-on “sunshine warming my skin, birds chirping, flowers in flourish, trees budding, all-over-gorgeousity” spring.

The pomegranate tree stood tall once more. The sight of its budding, red, star-shaped-blossoming self made me smile. There was no trace of the waters, or the fire, or the rift. The sky was blue and the only things it in were fluffy, lazily drifting clouds. Earth had survived a cold, hard night of destruction and on this colossally fabulous morning of Friday, March 21, all was right with it.

I checked over my body. Not a scratch. Even the scar I’d gotten from Bethany’s knife had disappeared. I was as shiny and whole as the world around me.

I was very pleased that my
Phospherocious
T-shirt had come out with only minimal soot smudges. I ran my fingers over the letters as I bounced on my toes, euphoric.

There was no sign of the minions. No sign of Zeus or Hades. I had done it. There would be no more godly battles on earth. No more innocent human casualties. Invisible though it was, I felt my love blaze in a protective ring around the planet. No gods intending harm would ever be able to get through.

I’ll admit it. I burst into a happy dance.

Very clever, daughter.
I jumped at the sound of Pops’ voice in my head, mid butt-shake.

I straightened up. “Told you, I’d win.” There was more than a trace of cockiness in my voice.

Hmm. This won’t be our last encounter. I’ll be keeping an eye on you.

As will I.
Great. Hades had joined the telepathic hot line. He sounded a lot more grumpy than my father. Which didn’t mean Pops was any less mad.

I felt their disapproval burning into my brain.

Oh well. “Sorry to break up the party,” I said, “but the rates on these long distance conference calls are a bitch. So bye-”

Toxic black light struck the earth beside me, knocking me off my feet.

Kai stood before me, his eyes two burning black coals.

I stood and readied my light. “Are you evil twin Kai now?” What had happened to him while I’d been off with Kiki?

“Do you even think before hurling yourself at death?” Another blast of light flew from his fingertips, exploding scarily close. If Kai wanted me dead, I’d be dead. He was missing on purpose.

“Is this because I jumped into the rift?”

He growled, his entire body vibrating with anger. Light exploded from his hands.

I jumped out of the way. “Yeah. But see? I’m fine.” I stepped toward him, one hand held out as if to soothe him.

He fired another blast near me.

“Love’s not supposed to hurt, Kai. Use your words, matia mou.” I batted my lashes at him. I thought he’d laugh.

Wrong. My words infuriated him even more. His face was like thunder. I felt bad for the guy but nothing could shake my bliss vibe.

I grinned and flung my arms out. “Gimme some sugar. I just saved the world.” Exhilaration flowed through me, making me giddy. I wanted to celebrate.

From the tension in Kai’s body, I could tell he was keeping himself from killing me only by extreme force of will. His fingertips flickered, an occasionally deadly spark flying free. His chest rose and fell with ragged breaths. “I watched you burn.”

I dropped my grin and took another step toward him. “I’m sorry. But I had to. And for those few minutes, it didn’t hurt.” My body went soggy with ecstasy as I remembered the feeling.

“Twelve hours.”

My eyebrows shot into my hairline. “What?”

“I watched you burn for twelve hours.” He shook with the effort of restraint.

Yikes. My mouth fell open but no words came out. Really, what could I say to that? I reached for him.

Kai took a step back and disappeared.

I bowed my head and sighed. Better Kai take a time out than smite me because he was pissed. Not that I blamed him. It couldn’t have been easy thinking he was watching me die.

I’d only watched Theo for a moment, and …

Theo.
All the fabulous rush left me.

“Honeybunch?” Festos spoke in a tentative voice.

Oh, Fee. He’d had to deal with Theo’s loss all by himself. Guilt and sorrow rushed in to swamp me as I realized that, in my high, I’d forgotten about Theo. I felt like the worst friend around.

“You forgot about me in your world-saving gloat, didn’t you?”

I went rigid at the sound of the voice behind me. “Theo? Are you a ghost? Because I’ll kill you if you’ve come back to dispense some kind of magical wisdom in phantom form. Seriously, I’ll kick your spectral ass.”

I couldn’t handle a civilized chat with my floaty friend. It would send me on a one-way ride to nutsville. Although, I wondered if visiting with dead Theo breached the terms of the deal with Felicia.

He chuckled. “Not a ghost.”

Slowly, I turned to face him. “Not Theo either.”

Prometheus was back.

Twenty-five

Prometheus stood in front of a wild spray of spring-blooming poppies, their delicate centers ringed with pearly white. Festos hovered nearby. Despite the beauty of the garden, he only had eyes for his boyfriend.

Even though Prometheus was Theo-height, back at about six feet, this was most definitely his god self. He oozed that same supreme confidence, rocked those same gorgeously eye-linered eyes. Although I missed the glasses. His dark hair still looked like he’d been shocked into tiny spikes, and while he still wore all black, his clothing rode his hard planes like a second skin.

“Prometheus,” I began.

“I’ll always be Theo for you.” His eyes met mine.

That did it. I crossed the distance between us in three steps and hugged him as tight as I could.

“Let go.” He squirmed but I held fast.

“No. You didn’t tell me what Cassie’s prophecy really meant. You made me watch you die. This is your punishment, you rat bastard.” I buried my face in his chest and squeezed harder.

“You got me tortured,” he said wryly. “I think that makes us even.”

I didn’t care if Felicia was going to show up with some horrible punishment for breaking the deal. It was worth it, seeing Theo alive and well and fidgeting in my arms.

“I couldn’t tell you.” He broke free. “You needed your head in the game. Knowing wouldn’t have helped anything.”

“How are you even here? There was nothing left of you when the fire went out. Not that I’m complaining.”

He motioned for us to sit down on a small wrought iron bench. Theo took the middle with Fee and I pressing close on both sides. Massive invasion of his personal space, but I doubt either of us cared. I needed to feel the solid warmth of him beside me to convince me that this was real, and not some dream.

I think Theo knew that because he let us crowd him. “You heard Cassie. ‘Free the form.’ It didn’t mean my death. Exactly. Although I did die. Well, my human self did.” He fell silent.

I gave his leg a sympathetic squeeze. Just the thought of Persephone’s death upset me, and the only time I’d ever been in her body was during Kiki’s enchantment. Theo had lived and breathed his mortal form for seventeen years. It didn’t matter that he was now restored to his true self. Not grieving his own death would mean he was insanely psychopathic.

Festos beamed. “But like a phoenix, my Thesi rose from his ashes better than ever.”

“Too far,” Theo and I told Festos together. But Theo clasped Fee’s hand in his and didn’t let go.

There were no words to describe my joy. My blood felt like it was made up of billions of bubbles, a fizzy warmth that promised to let me walk on air. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to a bit of old resentment. “So when you made the deal with Felicia?” I twisted away from him, unable to make eye contact. “No big deal to agree, right? Since you were going to die.”

Theo leaned into my line of sight. He waited for me to acknowledge him. “Regardless of … my death, no, it wasn’t easy to agree.” He winced sheepishly. “It hurt me as much as it did you. I knew Felicia would demand a price. You know your mother. Better me than Kai.” He held up a hand to stop my next question. “I needed you to believe it. If you didn’t buy it, she wouldn’t have either.”