Read My Friend Leonard Online

Authors: James Frey

My Friend Leonard (6 page)

This warmth.

She never knew anything like this.

Never knew, never got the chance, never had a chance.

I wish she were here.

Would give whatever, everything.

For five minutes.

One smile.

One laugh.

One kiss.

Just one.

Alone.

I clutch myself.

Sleep.

Knock. I open my eyes. Another knock. I sit up, get out of my bed, walk toward the door another knock. I open the door. Leonard and Snapper are standing in the hall. Both of them are wearing thick white bathrobes.

Leonard is holding a small box. He speaks.

Time for the pool.

He hands me the box, steps past me. Snapper follows him.

Go put that on. We'll wait for you.

They walk into the room, I walk into the bathroom. I close the door, open the box. I take out a small bathing suit. It is a bikini bathing suit, small and thin with black and white stripes. I open the door, walk into the room. Leonard and Snapper are looking out the window, have their backs to me.

Leonard.

They turn around. I hold up the suit.

What the fuck is this?

Leonard smiles.

Your bathing suit.

I'm not wearing this.

Why not?

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

What's wrong with it?

It's a fucking bikini bottom, Leonard.

He laughs.

Not it's not, it's a Speedo, it's a fine swimsuit.

What are you wearing?

He smiles, opens his robe. He's wearing the same suit.

What's Snapper wearing?

Snapper opens his robe. He's wearing the same suit. I laugh, shake my head.

No way, Leonard. I'm not wearing it.

Competitive swimmers wear them.

I'm not a competitive swimmer.

Europeans wear them.

I'm not European.

Motherfuckers with style wear them.

I'm not a motherfucker with style.

He looks at Snapper.

He doesn't want to wear it, Snap.

I heard him.

What do you think about that?

He ain't a swimmer and he ain't European and he ain't got no style. Why should he wear it?

Leonard turns to me.

Let's go. And bring your robe.

Where we going?

Snap and me are going to the pool. You're going to the gift shop to find another suit, then you're meeting us at the pool.

Okay.

Leonard and Snapper walk past me and out of the room. I grab my robe
and follow them. We ride the elevator down and Leonard and Snap get out before me and I go further down and I go to the gift shop and I return the striped Speedo and I find a nice large, normal American bathing suit. I try it on it's two or three sizes too big. I have to tie it tightly tie it to keep it from falling down. It's just my size, just the way I like it. I walk to the counter and a woman behind the counter asks for my room key and she charges the bathing suit to my room.

I go to the elevator, the pool. There are gray marble floors simple white walls. There are simple wooden lounge chairs along a wall and there is a Jacuzzi built into the floor at the far end. It is warm, and the crisp clean smell of chlorine is strong. Leonard is swimming laps in the pool and Snapper is sitting in the Jacuzzi. I walk toward the Jacuzzi. Snapper looks up, speaks.

Nice suit.

Thanks.

Fits nice.

I laugh, look toward Leonard.

What's he doing?

Swimming back and forth.

Why's he doing that?

He's been exercising like fucking crazy ever since he got out of the drug place.

Fuck that.

That's what I say. I go with him, but I don't do it.

Leonard stops at our end of the pool.

Nice suit.

Thanks.

You coming in?

No.

You're skinny, but you're in bad shape. You should exercise.

No thanks.

I'm going to do some more laps.

Go ahead.

Leonard turns and starts swimming, back and forth, back and forth. I get into the Jacuzzi it's hot. I close my eyes and lean back and let the heat soak in it feels good, relaxes me, calms me. When Leonard finishes his laps
he gets into the Jacuzzi and me and him and Snapper sit and relax. It feels good.

When we've had enough we get out and we put on our robes white and thick and we go to the restaurant. People stare at us. Most of them are well dressed, some of the men are wearing suits and ties, we are the only ones in robes and bathing suits. We order a huge lunch cheeseburgers and fries and ice cream and we eat and when we're finished we go back to our rooms. Leonard and Snapper say they have some business they will meet me later. I take a nap. I dream about drinking and drugs. I get fucked-up in the dream, fucking blitzed in the dream, I can't walk or talk, can't function in any way. When I wake I feel awful, as if the dream was reality. I lie in bed. The last ten days have been a lifetime. I feel awful.

I get up take a shower watch TV wait. I eat some chips and drink a cola and the chips are tasty and the cola is cold. Leonard comes back tells me to call all of my friends we're going out for dinner he wants all of them to come. I ask him where we're going and he gives me the name of a famous steakhouse, says we're eating at eight o'clock. He says get on the fucking horn, my son, call your fucking friends, we're going to have some fun. I laugh and he leaves.

I pick up the phone, start making calls. I ask my friends to dinner they can all come. Kevin says our friend Danny is in town I say bring him along. I put on my boots walk to Leonard's room knock on the door. He answers he is wearing a black suit it looks expensive. I laugh, look at my clothes. Worn khakis, a black wool sweater, scuffed black combat boots. I look back at Leonard.

They going to let me in like this?

Hah!

I laugh.

What's that mean?

That means Hah!

Yeah, what's Hah mean?

Hah means of course they're going to let you in. You're with me.

You sure?

Yeah, I'm fucking sure.

He steps out of the room, closes the door, starts walking toward the elevator.

Where's Snap?

He stops, turns around.

Snap's not coming.

Why?

He's just not.

Understood.

I start walking toward the elevator, know that there are things with Leonard that I should not question. He pushes the button and the elevator arrives and we go down walk through the lobby leave the hotel go outside. It's dark. It's cold. The wind. We start walking.

Five minutes later we're at the steakhouse. We walk through a set of large, unmarked oak doors. It's dark, the walls are wood, the carpet thick. It smells strongly of steak and cigars. I take a deep breath, we walk through a short hall to a reception stand. There is a man in a tuxedo behind the stand he steps around and greets Leonard calls him Sir and shakes his hand. Leonard introduces the man to me and we shake hands and the man says pleasure to meet you, Sir, which makes me laugh.

We are early, so the man leads us through the dining room to the bar. The dining room is large and open, candles on every table, white linens and silver, patrons in suit and tie, skirt and stocking. The bar is in a separate smaller room. It is large and oak runs the length of a wall. There are stools in front of it, there are small tables and low cushioned chairs spread through the rest of the room. Leonard shakes the man's hand and says thank you, the man bows and says my pleasure, Sir. We sit down at a table, the man leaves. Leonard reaches into the inside pocket of his suit-coat and removes two cigars. He offers one to me.

Cigar?

No thanks.

They're Cuban.

I don't like cigars.

I reach into my pocket, take out my cigarettes. Leonard stares at me.

How can you not like cigars?

Just don't.

Why?

Just don't. Do you know how to smoke one properly?

No.

That's why you don't like them. You've never learned to enjoy them. He hands me one of the cigars.

Time for you to go to cigar school, my son. Time for you to learn one of life's great pleasures.

I take the cigar, look at it. I don't want it, but know Leonard wants to teach me how to smoke it. He shows me how to cut it: find the tapered end, called the cap, cut leaving at least
1
⁄8 inch of the cap remaining. He shows me how to light it: use a match, wait for the sulfur to burn away, do not touch fire to cigar, bring it close, use the heat. He shows me how to smoke it: do not inhale, draw in with your cheeks, hold it, enjoy the taste, exhale. I accidentally inhale a few times, and the smoke is strong and burning and it makes me cough. I don't like the taste, it is of smoke and dirt and sweat. Leonard tells me it is supposed to be a rich creamy taste with a medium body. I have no idea what he's talking about.

As my friends show up they are led to our table in the bar. Leonard greets them all the same way. He stands and he says hello, hello my name is Leonard, it is wonderful to meet you. He shakes hands with Kevin and Danny and gives them cigars. He bows to the women and pulls out their chairs. Everyone is surprised by Leonard. I did not tell them much about him, just that he was my friend from rehab. I don't think they were expecting a cheery, friendly ridiculous man in his fifties who says things like drink it up, boy drink that cocktail the fuck up, or my oh my dear lady, your perfume is so delicious I feel like I'm going to faint.

When everyone has arrived Leonard stands and says it's time to eat like pigs my friends, time for a fucking feast. We stand as a group and walk into the dining room and sit at a table in the center of the restaurant. There are immediately three waiters setting bottles of wine and water on the table, one of them sets a large crystal decanter filled with cola next to me. When they leave, Leonard stands again and raises his glass.

It is always a pleasure to meet strong young men and beautiful young women. I am honored by your presence at my table, honored that you have chosen to spend the evening with me. Let us all raise a toast to fine food, strong drink, delicious dessert and new friends.

Glasses are raised and the toast is made, hear hear, hear hear. As soon the glasses are back on the table, food starts arriving. There are jumbo shrimp cocktails, small bowls with lumps of crabmeat, scallops wrapped in bacon,
oysters, clams and mussels. There are salads, Cobb and Caesar and iceberg drenched in Roquefort. There are bowls of lobster bisque and French onion soup. There is food everywhere, hands reaching for food everywhere, smiles and laughs around the table, other patrons are staring at our table, we don't care.

The appetizers are taken away. We are given a moment or two of rest. I hear two of the girls talking to Leonard they ask him where he lives he says Las Vegas for part of the year, southern California for part of the year. They ask him what he does he says I'm a businessman. They ask him what type he says the type that doesn't like to talk about work away from the office. He asks them what they do, they both work at a clothing store. He says he loves clothing, has closets full of clothing, buys clothing everywhere he goes, loves loves loves clothes. They laugh. He stands and asks them what they think of his suit, he turns in a circle to give them a complete view. They tell him they think it's beautiful and he thanks them and he compliments them on their fine taste.

More food arrives. Family style platters of steak, lamb, chicken and lobster. Bowls of creamed spinach, sautéed mushrooms, asparagus. Plates of baked potatoes, mashed potatoes and hash browns. We eat, laugh, Leonard and I drink water and cola, my friends, now Leonard's friends, drink wine and cocktails. If a platter bowl or plate is ever empty, it is immediately replaced. When everyone is finished, dessert is delivered: ice cream and pie, chocolate cake and fruit. Leonard lights a cigar, the restaurant is now empty but for us. He motions for the concierge to bring more cigars, the man brings a small humidor to the table, it contains cigars of different sizes and shapes, cigars from different countries. Leonard walks around with the humidor and selects a cigar for each individual. When he is finished, he walks them through the same steps he taught me earlier. They listen to Leonard, follow his instructions, start tentatively. They are not tentative for long.

As we smoke, Leonard stands, motions for me to stand with him. We walk into the kitchen. He takes out a large roll of cash from his pocket and starts handing out tips to everyone, to the chef, to the sous chef, to the pastry chef, to the busboys, to the dishwashers. We leave the kitchen go to the bar. Each of the bartenders receives a handshake filled with money. We walk to the reception desk Leonard thanks the man slides him cash
tells him that I am his son and that if I ever show up here he expects that I will be treated accordingly. The man thanks Leonard and says of course, Sir, of course.

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