My Best Friend Has Issues (21 page)

‘Hey, it was your idea to come out tonight. I want this guy.’

She spoke to Sanj again, making her proposition more direct and this time he understood. His reaction was businesslike.

‘
Trescientos, por favor,’
he said, discreetly palming the notes. ‘
Muchas gracias
.’

I kept my eyes on the table, smoothing out my napkin, taking care that it was very smooth.

‘This guy’s not cheap,’ said Chloe, laughing, ‘I kinda like that. And this way we get petals on the bed.’

Before we left the restaurant I went to the toilet. After a while Chloe came in looking for me.

‘Come on, we’re waiting for you!’

‘I think I’m just going to head back to the flat. I’m not feeling great but I’m sure you and Sanj will have a great time.’

‘It’s because he’s Ewan’s friend, isn’t it?’

‘No, well yeah, there is that, but fuck it. Ewan didn’t want to see me when I was in hospital so who gives a shit what he thinks?’

‘Thattagirl.’

‘No, but Chloe, it’s something else.’

‘What?’ she yelled. ‘He’s waiting for us,’ she gestured madly towards the door.

‘I can’t go to Sanj’s place. He lives in Raval.’

I said this slowly so she would understand its significance. She thought for a moment. I nodded. She was getting the significance.

‘So?’

She hadn’t got the significance. The most important thing that had happened to me while I’d been in Barcelona, and she’d forgotten all about it.

‘Bashed Head Boy?’ I said, giving her a clue.

‘Oh, you’re not still obsessed with that, are you? For Chrissakes, Alison, that was months ago.’

‘Yeah but there could be people down there looking for me: the police, the killer. Those Asian guys, they all got a good look at me.’

‘And
I’m
supposed to be the drama queen! Look, the police are too busy taking bribes and scratching their asses to give a shit
about one dead tourist. If anything was gonna happen it would’ve happened by now. Nobody gives a shit. That’s Barcelona, honey.’

‘Och, you’re probably right but, I don’t know… Raval just gives me the creeps.’

‘Come on,’ she said, dragging me by the arm. ‘We’ll go straight to his apartment. It’s dark, no one will even see us.’

Sanj lived alone. On the second floor of a neglected building in a rundown street in Raval, his place wasn’t the gangster’s paradise I’d imagined. The tenement stairs, like our own, were poorly lit, with lights broken or unlit on some of the landings. But his flat wasn’t bad.

It was a long room that ran the length of the building and had balconies on either side through which a fresh breeze blew. Natural air conditioning. It was a studio, more like a warehouse loft than an apartment, metal brackets were still bolted to the ceiling, no doubt from some previous industrial use, but it was nicely laid out. The living room space was at the front, the kitchenette and bathroom in the middle, and the bed towards the back of the room. It was newly decorated. Sparsely furnished, the few bits of furniture looked tiny in the vast vanilla-coloured space, and for a guy’s flat, it was remarkably tidy. There were no dirty dishes in the sink, no clothes or trainers lying around the floor. At the front near the open balcony two easy chairs faced a TV and DVD player. It was here that Sanj directed us to sit while he buzzed around getting things. A pile of
Bizarre
magazines were neatly stacked on the coffee table and there was a vase of fresh flowers. Chloe had been right; he did have a flat full of flowers. Three buckets of roses and chrysanthemums stood by the door, competing with the smell of curry. The smell of flowers always reminded me of Dad’s funeral; I preferred the delicious curry aroma. I directed my nose towards the kitchenette and breathed deeply.

Barcelona was great but the food in the Indian restaurants was disappointing: bland curries cooked to suit Catalan tastes. I missed a good spicy curry, a proper curry. Although we’d only just eaten I hoped Sanj would offer us food, maybe a wee samosa or something.

Instead he offered us cocaine. After he’d lit two low wattage lamps and docked his iPod to play Arabic chill-out music, he got out the coke. Sanj stood at the kitchen counter and chopped up two generous lines on a shaving mirror before standing over me like a waiter and offering it. I declined. I was all for new experiences but after my heart attack I was finished with coke forever more. He passed it to Chloe who hoovered up a line in one slick move.

‘
No quieres
?’ she asked him.

Sanj didn’t want any either. He was quick to remove it.

‘That is so mean!’ she whispered as Sanj tidied in the kitchenette.

He dug out a bottle of wine from the back of a kitchen cabinet and again Chloe was the only one who wanted any. Sanj offered me bottled water, which I accepted, and he poured a glass for himself. As soon as the coke took effect Chloe began to chatter away in Spanish about how fab the flat was, how she liked the minimalist feel of it. Sanj seemed uncomfortable, probably embarrassed at the lack of seating. In an attempt to look relaxed he folded his arms and leaned against the wall nearby, listening politely while Chloe gassed on. This struck me as ridiculous but I didn’t want to giggle and embarrass him more. I stood up and offered Sanj my chair, moving over towards Chloe, indicating that I could share with her.

Sanj flapped his arms, telling me no, but Chloe had another idea. If we all three moved to the bed then we’d be quite comfortable. Sanj was not averse to this idea.

‘No, you’re all right, I’m quite happy here thanks, you two go,’ I said.

This didn’t suit either of them.

‘No,’ said Sanj, in that long drawn out Spanish way, as if I were being unreasonable.

They both put pressure on me, Sanj cajoling me out of my churlishness, Chloe making malicious gestures towards me behind his back. I could see that, short of leaving, there was no way out of it. I couldn’t leave. I was too scared to walk the streets of Raval on my own. Earlier today I’d flung my keys at Chloe. Later it hadn’t seemed appropriate to ask her for the keys back and she hadn’t offered. She
put her hands together in a pleading gesture and mouthed ‘make up sex’. I was going to have to go along with it.

‘You’re a pervert, you know that, don’t you?’ I whispered as we crossed the room.

‘Oh yes indeedy,’ she said, handing me her wine glass while she plumped up the pillows.

I meekly stood holding her glass as she made herself comfortable sitting up in bed, legs crossed demurely. Once she was settled she held out her hand to receive her wine glass. Sanj went round the other side and joined her on the bed in the same position. I perched on the edge with my back to them. Before long Chloe had begun fondling Sanj’s hair, a few seconds later I heard the inevitable sucking sounds of kissing. I took a sip of water and stared into space.

Between kisses I could hear Sanj and Chloe breathing. I missed kissing. The gaps between Sanj and Chloe’s kisses were getting longer. Now I could hear clothing being rumpled. I didn’t have to imagine Chloe’s naked body, I’d seen it so often I was as familiar and bored with hers as I was with my own, but Sanj was a different ball game. I imagined his beautiful toffee-coloured skin against Chloe’s California tan. She’d be going home with damp knickers and a big grin.

While I was thinking these thoughts a hand hooked itself round my arm and pulled me gently but firmly down into a lying position.

It had been Chloe, surprise surprise, who’d pulled me down. She pushed my head towards Sanj’s, my lips towards his. He seemed eager. We snogged and, compared to Ewan, Wanca and other lads I’d kissed, it was certainly different. When I’d kissed the others it had just been the standard two person thing. There hadn’t been anyone else with us, never mind physically between us. As I had to lean over Chloe, her knees were digging me in the ribs. I couldn’t decide if it was the snogging that was so good or the weird situation, but whatever it was, it was pretty exciting.

I wanted to feel every part of Sanj’s bod, to rumple his clothes, howk his shirt over his head and wheech his trousers to the floor, but I was shy. I made do with rubbing my hand across his back in what I hoped was an erotic way. I moved my fingers up and down and in sexy circles across his back until I realised that this might seem like I was trying to get him to burp. And anyway, wasn’t the man supposed to make the first move? I wasn’t sure. Maybe the rules were different with a threesome.

Sanj did finally make a move, or more accurately, a move was made that resulted in Sanj’s hand cupping my breast. I had my eyes closed at the time so I couldn’t be certain but I would have expected to feel some kind of creeping groping movement. Instead the hand was plonked down on my boob, placed there perhaps by my good friend Chloe. When this thought struck me I opened my eyes. I wasn’t comfortable being a puppet in Chloe’s sex games.

Sanj was now, all by himself, kneading my breast in a pleasant way. I let him continue. By closing my eyes, wriggling against his hand and moaning ‘oh yes’ I actively encouraged it. It was surprising
just how dirrrty I was getting. Maybe once I got started I’d turn out to be even dirrrtier than Chloe. She wouldn’t like that. Did this kneading mean that I should now fondle him? I wanted to. I slid my hand towards Sanj’s crotch and found something warm and hard: Chloe’s hand, she’d got there before me.

I opened my eyes and watched as she reached into his pants and teased out his cock. Sanj’s cock was no different from Ewan’s or the Silver Fox’s or others Chloe’d had. In terms of colour and size they were all much of a muchness. The only thing different was that Sanj’s was soft.

Chloe shot me an accusing look implying that Sanj’s squidgy cock was my fault. She moved sideways in towards Sanj, pushing his hand off my breast and me further from the action; the expert taking over from the apprentice.

‘Let the dog see the rabbit,’ she said slyly and smiled.

‘I’m falling off the bed here,’ I complained.

‘Okay,’ said Chloe, ‘get over there, on the other side of him.’

Rather than clamber over them I got off the bed but the minute my feet touched the floor Chloe issued another order.

‘Hey, while you’re up, could you fix me another glass of wine?’

I sighed and stomped off to the kitchenette. I pulled two glasses from the cupboard and filled them to the brim with wine; if she was having a drink so was I. I needed one. This was too exciting not to drink. I brought her glass and she sat up and took a break from touching Sanj.

‘Salud,’ she said chirpily.

I moved to the opposite side of the bed where Sanj, despite his soft cock, smiled up at me.

‘Salud,’ I said and necked the wine greedily.

If there had been a fireplace I would have thrown my glass in it.

‘This is so depraved, isn’t it?’ I said. ‘I’m loving it.’

I pushed myself at Sanj and snogged him again fiercely. With Chloe as a rival, if I was going to get a look in, I’d have to really want it.

And I did. I was greedy for wine and kisses and getting my tits touched and everything else that was to come. I lifted Sanj’s hand
and clamped it to my breast where he began squeezing. I put my glass down and, panting and moaning, concentrated on getting properly sexed up again.

Chloe let me take over feeling him up. I copied what she’d done, running my hand up and down his cock and then pumping it up and down. I’d been doing it for a good ten minutes, maybe more, but there was nothing happening.

Chloe leaned over and looked intently into Sanj’s face.

‘Is there something else you’d like? She said kindly, like a nurse to a patient.

I stopped chugging and smiled at him too, offering support. Sanj shyly turned his head away from us, embarrassed at his lack of erection.

‘Maybe you want to sniff my shoe or something?’ said Chloe.

Sanj turned back to us, apparently encouraged.

‘Although I think Alison’s shoe would probably be more potent.’

Chloe and I laughed and Sanj, perhaps not quite understanding the joke, smiled and nodded.

‘You know Chloe, maybe it’s the two girl thing, maybe that’s freaking him out.’

‘No, I don’t think it’s that,’ she said analytically. ‘He’s into kissing both of us, it must be something else.’

Chloe switched to asking him in Spanish.

‘
Digame Cariño, que prefieres
?’

This seemed to do the trick. At last we were getting somewhere.

‘
Por favor, átame
!’ Sanj whispered.

I looked to Chloe for a translation.

‘
Me gusta atar
,’ Sanj whined.

I didn’t get it. Sanj said it again, this time more loudly when we didn’t understand. And then I realised by Chloe’s expression that she had understood. She just wasn’t keen.

‘What does he want? What the hell is it?’ I asked, thrilled and scared at the same time.

‘He wants us to tie him up,’ she said, rolling her eyes.

‘
Átame! átame
!’ begged Sanj, as he mimed his hands bound together.

Chloe and I went into a huddle to discuss it.

‘Don’t you think this kinky stuff sucks?’ said Chloe.

‘Each to his own,’ I shrugged.

I actually thought it was a bit rich of Chloe to turn her nose up at other people’s perversions when she was such a renowned deviant, but I didn’t say anything. I knew one thing, I wouldn’t be giving my virginity away tonight after all. I wasn’t sure if I was disappointed or relieved.

‘I gave him three hundred euros,’ she said indignantly.

‘That was for the flowers.’

‘Chuh! That was for the sex. I’d kinda like to get my money’s worth. Did you see where he put the coke?’ she whispered.

‘In the kitchenette somewhere, I didn’t really notice.’

‘Here’s the thing: if we’re gonna do this I’ll need to be totally cained. Okay,’ she sighed, ‘let’s tie him up. But he has to go down on me. This is too weird,’ she moaned, ‘I don’t think I’ll get off unless he goes down.’

Sanj had wasted no time. He’d opened a drawer in the bedside cabinet and was pulling out black PVC underwear and bondage equipment.

Chloe and I looked at each other.

He’d already pulled on a black netting vest and was now scrambling into a pair of latticework PVC panties. The pants were decorative rather than functional, covering very little and, as he either had no pubes or had shaved them, we were able to get a good view of his package. The pants did seem tight, his bits were bulging and oozing out of the lattice, but he obviously liked them that way.

On the bed there was box that hadn’t been opened. I looked at it, surprised to find the details of what was inside written in English.

‘Look Chloe, it’s an S and M starter kit.’

‘You have gotta be kidding me.’

‘I’m honestly not,’ I laughed, ‘look what it says here,
This kit has everything you need to get you started on your S&M fantasy and all in black leather – whip, gag, hand cuffs and ankle cuffs.’

‘Sounds fantastic,’ she said sarcastically.

Sanj burst open the box and attached himself to the ends of the bed with the ankle cuffs. He popped the black rubber ball gag into his mouth and then locked the handcuffs on his right wrist and held his hands out in front asking us to chain him up. As swift as an arresting officer, Chloe pulled his arms behind his back and locked the handcuffs. It looked really uncomfortable, his chest was pushed out unnaturally but he seemed to like it.

‘
Mejor
?’ Chloe asked him.

‘
Si, mejor
,’ Sanj agreed, smiling through his rubber ball gag.

She patted him on the head and then tried to take the gag out of his mouth. Sanj shook his head no, and when she persisted he jerked his head from side to side to avoid her. The gag was supposed to fasten behind his head and the ends flicked around smacking his face and leaving a red mark.

‘Look, he’s whipping himself!’ Chloe laughed.

Whenever she was quick enough to get her hand on his face Sanj snarled like a dog. He was enjoying his role as the puppy with the rubber toy, refusing to give it up. The gag was wedged tightly behind his teeth, alarmingly far back in his mouth.

‘D’you think he’ll swallow it?’ I asked.

‘Nah, they design them this size so you can’t swallow ‘em.’

‘That’s quite clever, I suppose.’

Chloe wasn’t having much success in getting the gag out of his mouth. To help out I approached him from the other side and began trying to touch his face. Now we had him cornered. We were getting close to taking it from him and this made him snarl all the more. The more Sanj snarled the more we laughed until Chloe said,

‘Okay, I’m bored with this shit now. You get up behind him and hold his head.’

I stood on the bed and the next time he whipped around I was ready for him. I held him in a tight headlock while Chloe worked her fingers into his mouth. I was glad I’d got the head end. I’d have been too scared to put my fingers in his mouth in case he took the fantasy too far and bit me.

He moaned when she prised his jaws apart, whether in pleasure or pain I wasn’t sure, and he retched when she forced her fingers into his mouth but he didn’t bite. She pulled the saliva-sodden ball from his mouth and threw it on the floor.

‘No Sanj, naughty boy. Chloe and Alison have other things to put in your mouth. Alison, I think he deserves to be whipped, what d’you say Sanj, do you think you should be punished?’

Rather than translate what she’d said into Spanish, Chloe brandished the whip in front of his face.

‘
Si, maestra
,’ Sanj whimpered.

‘Yeah, well Little Miss McStrict, you can whip him,’ she said, tossing me the whip.

I flicked it once across each of his shoulders and Sanj convulsed.

‘Hey, take it easy. Don’t kill him,’ said Chloe giggling.

‘Shut up!’ I laughed, ‘I hardly touched him. This whip is cheap rubbish.’

Although the box said it was leather the whip was light and thin as cardboard.

‘That’s it, let him have it,’ said Chloe in a red neck accent, ‘punish that dirty boy good.’

I gave up with the half-hearted whipping when Chloe stepped out of her skirt and pants and knelt on the bed.

She thrust her crotch into Sanj’s bemused face and he started wriggling again.

Just as he’d done with the gag, he moved his head so fast and sharp I thought he’d do himself an injury. Chloe turned to me rolling her eyes again and pushed him down on the bed.

‘Chloe, all his weight’ll be on his arms, that’ll be painful.’

‘Hello? He’s a masochist, it’s what he wants, isn’t it?’

She climbed on to his chest and sat astride him. Sanj’s head was squeezed between her thighs and her knees pressed into his shoulders.

‘Look,’ I said pointing, ‘he’s hard now.’

Sanj’s cock was now stiff and poking out the top of his lattice pants.

Chloe was sitting on him like a jockey on a horse. She pulled on his ears and rocked back and forth galloping towards climax.

‘Sonofabitch! Open your goddamn mouth!’

Sanj wouldn’t open his mouth. I did what I could to assist by offering her my hand but it was no use. She couldn’t come.

With a dissatisfied grunt Chloe finally gave up and flopped forward on top of him.

I stood at the side of the bed over the entwined bodies and lifted Chloe’s damp hair off Sanj’s face. His expression was blank but I could see from his PVC pants that he was still erect. Slowly and heavily, Chloe heaved herself across Sanj and rolled off the bed.

‘Well that was a complete waste of time,’ she moaned as she pulled on her pants. ‘Let’s find the coke.’

Chloe walked to the kitchenette and started opening and raking through the cupboards.

She found the shaving mirror with the chopped up coke line and called me over. She stuck her head round the kitchen units and beckoned me with a nod. I felt a bit awkward leaving Sanj there like that.

‘Oh leave him and come and talk to me, he’s not going anywhere.’

Chloe was greedy with the coke. As I walked from the bedroom to the kitchen area she was sniffing up the last of it.

‘So, we got sidetracked, you were telling me…’

Chloe looked at me expectantly.

‘Sorry, what?’

‘Your dad! For Chrissakes, Alison, you said you killed him!’ she said, opening more cupboards.

‘Oh right, yeah. Oh, I can’t be bothered talking about that now. It winds me up. I get angry if I even think about it. Let’s go home.’

‘Are you kidding me? I want the whole story.’

‘Och Chloe, can we not just leave it for tonight? I’m tired.’

‘The whole story. I need to know. I might have to report you to the police. They’re looking for you all over Raval, did you know that?’

‘Ha ha.’

‘So: your dad was taking you to the youth club and he crashed the car and…’

She wasn’t going to give up. Earlier I had been in the mood to tell her but now I was just fed up and frustrated.

‘What was all that stuff today about us being a team, huh?’ she huffed. ‘I can rely on you one hundred per cent.’

It was easier just to tell her. Then there would be no more secrets between us, just as I’d promised today.

‘Okay. Right. He didn’t crash when he was taking me to the youth club…’

‘When he was sending the texts.’

‘No, he didn’t crash then.’ I said in a flat, matter of fact voice. ‘We made it to the youth club, miraculously. I went in and he said he’d pick me up at nine when it closed. But the club closed early. The heating system broke down. When I came out I was surprised to see the car still there. I thought he was going to go home and come back for me. I walked back to the car. He wasn’t there but I could hear his voice in the woods and I followed it. I saw him in the woods, with a woman. They were doing it up against a tree. They were grunting like pigs.’

Sanj called out to me.

‘Esmerelda,
ven aqui, por favor
,’ he asked.

‘
Callate
!’ Chloe barked at him. ‘Your dad was doing it?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Who was the woman?’

‘It was Isabelle.’

‘No!’

I somehow felt that this wasn’t as shocking to Chloe as she was making out but at least she was kind enough to empathise.

‘Isabelle, our childminder. My mum’s best friend.’

‘Yeah. I know who Isabelle is,’ Chloe assured me. ‘Bitch.’

‘
Venga
!’ Sanj called.

‘In a minute, you pervert!’ Chloe yelled.

‘I shouted at them. I told them I was going to tell Mum. Isabelle begged me not to but Dad told her to go home. He practically threw me in the car.’

‘Bastard.’

‘He was driving and shouting at me and then he had another heart attack. That’s when he crashed. He wouldn’t have had that heart attack if I hadn’t threatened to tell Mum.’

‘Oh Alison,’ Chloe said opening her arms and enfolding me. ‘You didn’t kill him, none of that was your fault. He almost killed you. Then he lay dead on you with his fucking eyeball dripping. And you never did tell your mom, did you?’

I shook my head.

‘You were only a kid. It’s not your fault if he got caught with his dick where it shouldn’t have been.’

‘I know.’

‘That’s what men are, that’s the way it is, even that scuzzball over there, they’re all the same.’

‘I know.’

We went quiet and I stayed in her arms a while.

‘Come on,’ she said eventually, ‘don’t let it get to you, it’s all in the past now. Your dad is dead and he got what he deserved, huh?’

‘Absolutely,’ I agreed, sniffing.

‘
Por favor
!’ wailed Sanj.

‘Let’s get outta here,’ said Chloe, ‘Let’s get some
churros
and go home, okay?’

‘Yeah.’

I went back to the bed to find my shoes. Sanj was speaking to me but I ignored him. Chloe was right, he was a scuzzball, they all were. As I sat on the bed pulling on my shoes I became aware of a warm wetness beneath me.

‘Och Jeezo,’ I said, disgusted, ‘he’s pissed the bed. That must have been what he was shouting about.’

‘Well he shouldn’t have been so quick to tie himself up then, huh? Stupid sicko.’

‘Eeeuw,’ I screeched, ‘look, he’s hard! I didn’t think guys could do that.’

‘Oh, guys can do lots of weird things. Probably gets off on soiling himself. Watch out, he’ll take a dump in a minute. Filthy pig,’ said Chloe. ‘There’s gotta be some more coke around here. Hey Sanj!’ she yelled, ‘
donde esta la cocaina
?’

Sanj yelled something back at her and began wriggling around again. As he moved a warm fizzy smell of urine rose up.

Chloe came out of the kitchenette and stood over Sanj.

‘
Digame
,’ she said softly.

Sanj wouldn’t tell her.

‘
Digame
!’ she demanded.

She walked back to the kitchen and began again searching the drawers. I’d found my right shoe but when I looked under the bed the left shoe had rolled to the other side of the bed. I walked around the bed to get it.

‘Pay dirt!’ I heard Chloe shout.

Sanj was shouting and wriggling around looking like he’d break an arm to get out of the restraint.

‘Yippee! Look what I found,’ Chloe squealed.

I turned and smiled. She held up a bag of coke the size of a brick. Sanj was going crazy. From the kitchenette Chloe waved the bag at Sanj, teasing him. I bent down to dig out my shoe from under the bed and as I came up Sanj headbutted me in the face.

My nose exploded. I couldn’t do anything. Sanj was screaming. I wanted to call for Chloe but I had forgotten how. There was a stinging behind my eyes. A buzzing in my head. I couldn’t see anything. My hands were in front of my face. I touched my nose and cheeks but there was no sensation. My face was numb. Sanj was screaming and screaming. I didn’t want him to scream. The neighbours might hear him. Someone might call the police. Slowly I took my hands away from my face but this only made Sanj scream more. The white sheet and Sanj’s brown skin were spotted with my gushing red blood. I tried to call for Chloe but all that came out of me was a grunt. Chloe stuck her head out of the kitchenette and when she saw me came rushing over.

‘Oh my God, Alison, are you okay? What happened?’

I still couldn’t speak. I was too confused to form words, but I made another noise.

‘He hit you?’ Chloe sounded like she wasn’t sure. I knew she must be wondering how someone so restrained could inflict such damage. ‘You hit her?’

Sanj was still screaming. I nodded yes. Yes he hit me. I wanted her to stop him screaming.

She punched him in the face. That quietened him. My breath came back. Now I found I could talk.

‘He headbutted me.’

I could talk but my mouth was full of blood.

‘Honey, let’s get you cleaned up,’ said Chloe, putting her arm around me.

I wanted to explain how unfair this was. I hadn’t done anything to him. I hadn’t taken his coke. I’d only done what he’d asked of us. Chloe put a cloth to my face to help mop up the blood.

Chloe sat on the dry side of the bed and spoke to Sanj softly, as though she were reading a child a bedtime story.

‘Hey, you little shit,’ she murmured. ‘It’s all about you, isn’t it? You want us to tie you up and play your sick little games, huh? You have kilos of coke in that drawer and you’re too fucking mean to give a girl an orgasm or a little line of coke.’