My Angel (32 page)

And during that same week, while the ship was in for repairs, he'd tormented himself and everyone around him. His anger at the smallest things had sent most of his men scurrying if he merely looked their way. Even Misha had wisely kept his distance.

Nothing had helped. He could not seduce her. She still said no, and he still slept on deck, away from Angela.

Several days ago they left
London
. Two hours ago they'd rounded the corner of
Spain
, heading into the
Mediterranean Sea
.

She was such a stubborn little spitfire. How on earth could he convince her that he wanted only the best for her? He inhaled a ragged breath then let it out slowly.

Today was a beautiful day. High, feathery clouds floated whimsically in the sky. They sailed in the
Mediterranean
, a deep sapphire blue--the color of Angela's eyes--the same color as the precious gems in her ears.

Dolphins swam alongside the clipper ship, playing in the wake then darting in front of the bow. The smell of sea spray lay heavy in the air. Calm water lay ahead of them as far as the eye could see. It would be smooth sailing for all aboard except Angela and himself.

He would have to change his strategy where Angela was concerned. Obviously she didn't realize or understand what a great honor he bestowed upon her by asking her to be his mistress, to share her life with him. He must convince her.

"She is still asleep, Alexi." Misha materialized by his side. Alexi wasn't surprised. He'd asked his friend to look after Angela in his absence and report back.

"Why does she resist?" Alexi turned on his friend. "Am I not charming?" His anger and confusion warred with the needs of his family and his desire to give Angela everything she wished for, including him. His arrogance overwhelmed him at times. But he knew she wanted him.

She could deny him forever, but all he had to do was look into her eyes to see the desire that flared within her when he drew near. Her cheeks would flush a becoming pink shade, and her bottom lip would tremble until she tucked it beneath her top teeth to still it.

"You do not know why she is so stubborn that she still refuses your loving even though her eyes say something different?" Misha asked, a smile curling his lip, a deep chuckle rumbling across the deck. "It is not for me to tell you, my friend. You must take the time to work out your problems. Talk to her. Besides, I fear you've gone too far this time, Alexi. Ask Angela for the truth. Find out who she is--who she really is. Not the fairy tale she has made up."

"Therein lies the trouble. She hasn't made anything up. I don't believe for a minute she is capable of such a great deception. A small lie here, or there maybe something to soothe a troubled lover."

"Then find out what she hasn't told you."

"You make her sound mysterious. She is a commoner, a simple woman." Alexi stared out to sea.

"Is she?"

"You're as easy to see through as glass. What do you know about Angela that I don't? What hasn't she told me?"

"You need to ask her. If she still refuses to tell you, and if the situation warrants it, I will explain to you what I learned on the trip east. But this is something between you and Angela. It will do the two of you no good if I interfere."

Alexi braced himself against the railing of the ship, staring out at the water. They would be docked soon, the overland trip beginning. He would have to watch her carefully. There wasn't a moment that passed that he didn't fear her promise to leave. Given the opportunity, she would find the first ship back to the States.

"She is so angry with me, she wouldn't tell me. Even if I got down on one knee and begged." He ran his hands through his hair, raking it off his forehead and from his eyes. "She's as stubborn as a
Colorado
mule."

Alexi massaged his pounding temples. The ship dipped sharply, spray drenching his face. The cold water did little to invigorate his dampened spirits. Alexi strode the length of the ship and back.

Back and forth.

Misha watched, a knowing grin on his face, a smile that only served to infuriate Alexi further.

As Misha suggested, he needed to go below and confront Angela--find out exactly what she wasn't telling him.

~ * ~

Angela felt the weight on the bed before she realized Alexi had entered the room. She'd been awake most of the night, wishing for a way to escape the ship and Alexi's hold over her. She would not--could not--give in to his plans for her. Morning light brightened the room but did little to assuage her wounded emotions.

Misha had been vigilant in his watch; then Alexi had returned. The door had remained locked, but she'd heard their footsteps outside the cabin and their quiet conversation. There had been no lapse in their guarding of her. No chance for her to escape on the
London
docks.

Alexi pulled back the covers she'd drawn to her nose, a deep chuckle following. Despite her resolve, his tender smile made her heart turn over.

"I know what you're about, my sweet concubine. You cannot hide from me."

He brushed a gentle kiss across her lips. She opened her eyes. "I know," she said on a sigh. "I don't want to hide from you. I want to change your mind."

"The day is beautiful, the ocean incredibly blue, and I don't want you down here. You're far too pale." His fingers caressed her cheek. "The sunshine will give color to your skin and breathe life into your body."

"I'd like to go outside," she said, startling herself. Until this moment, she'd wanted to escape the gossip and the stares. Everyone must know she slept in Alexi's bed. They would believe the worst. Shame swept through her, anger close on its heels.

"Good, then get dressed. I'll wait for you in the hall. Don't take too long; the dolphins might get tired of their games, and I'd hate for you to miss them." His smile filled her heart with memories.

"Dolphins?'' She sat up, the sheets held tightly to her breasts. "Are there really dolphins out there?"

"Dolphins..." He winked. "Hurry up."

He rose from the bed. Emptiness and a profound loneliness welled deep inside Angela. A deep chasm of mistrust stood between them. The loss was acute, magnified with each passing second.

In a few long strides he stood by the door, his body framed in sunlight. Dressed in formfitting breeches and a white shirt, he gave off an aristocratic air. He might really be a prince, she thought. A prince, a devil, a tender lover--she wanted the man, needed him, but he was unwilling to sacrifice for her, or believe in her. She was good enough for any man--even a prince.

Should he have to sacrifice?

Reminded of what she gave up to be with Alexi and the self-respect she'd lose if she gave in to his wishes, Angela felt heated tears gather in the back of her throat. Loneliness and a deep-seated fear knifed her heart. Stubbornness welled inside her, a determination so strong she almost relented just to ease the pain.

For some time now, Angela had wondered if a little bit of Alexi wasn't better than nothing at all. Her father would be so ashamed of her thoughts, but she wasn't. She loved Alexi with all her heart, and all she wanted was a life with him, a chance for happiness.

He believed a mistress was held in higher regard than a wife. Once she'd vowed that she would settle for nothing less than what her mother and father had known, a love everlasting.

But now...

Did two people have to be married to love forever?

Angela didn't have any idea what she could expect from this life he planned for her. Perhaps it would be better for her to settle for a place in the background rather than a place at his side. Second best...

She'd never played second fiddle to anyone.

"Hurry up, lazybones," he said, a rakish smile on his handsome face.

Angela's heart broke in two. She knew what she had to do. The door closed behind Alexi and shut him off from her.

She pushed her hair from her face--her desperate thoughts from her mind--and did exactly what Alexi commanded. She hurried.

A few minutes later, she decided aloud, "I'm ready."

Angela stepped from the room, dressed in lemon yellow and prepared to face life rather than hide from it.

She understood how much she needed his love. When she left him, she'd hold his memory close to her heart. The few moments they'd had together she'd cherish forever. Memories would have to be enough to last a lifetime.

"You look lovely." Alexi offered his arm and she accepted, her fingers closing over his strength, absorbing his energy and courage. She knew and loved the power of this man, and she loved his gentleness, too.

He commanded men, expecting absolute obedience, yet he accepted her wishes and had not forced her or tried to seduce her. She knew he'd wanted her. So many times Alexi had looked at her with such longing and desire she knew he missed her desperately.

Yet he'd held back. He'd kept his word to her.

They walked in companionable silence, Angela soaking up the fresh air and warm sunshine. Alexi had told her the truth about this day. It was one to remember.