Must Love Dukes (23 page)

She ran a finger over the small engraving of the fox. Truly she’d had the same with Devon: a small moment in the grandness of life when she’d laughed, when she’d loved.

Of course it had all been a lie on his part. He’d used her for his own entertainment, all the while doing business with Solomon behind her back. The worst part was that she loved him, truly loved him.

She shook her head, refusing to shed tears over someone who had betrayed her so horribly. Perhaps the only love she would receive in this life was represented in the sapphire eyes of the small fox. She slipped the watch into the pocket of her dress.

“On second thought, I believe I could use a drink of something stronger than tea.” She gave the empty room a nod of agreement and walked out the door.

She had been about to pour a drink to steady her nerves when she received word she had a caller. Setting her glass aside, she left the dining room. Who would be visiting her? She hoped it was not Lord Harrow, for she might be sick if that was true.

“Devon.” Her weighted steps slowed further as she entered the parlor, pausing just inside the door.

He was here. Had he heard her news? If not, she must tell him. He could keep his secrets from her, but she couldn’t do the same. She was weary of hiding, of plots, of all of it. Only, how was she to speak the words aloud when she could not even utter them in her heart?

He stood in the center of the room with his arms folded behind his back. He looked troubled. Good. Perhaps he knew she’d discovered his deceit, in which case he deserved to be troubled. Once he’d heard her news, he would no doubt leave. It would be over.

She stiffened her spine, opened her mouth, and forced her horrid truth to be said. No more secrets. “I’m glad you’re here. I need to tell you of some new, um, occurrences in my life.”

He said nothing.

She took a few more steps into the room, stopping before him.

“I am to be…” Her throat closed around the next word, not wanting to release it into the world and make it real. She swallowed. “Wed. My brothers have chosen Lord Harrow for me.”

“I’ve heard.”

“Oh.” Did everyone in town know by now? “It will be announced formally at the ball tonight.” She looked down at her fingers as she continued, “I thought I could keep this from happening. I thought I could…” She broke off with a shake of her head. “But I have no choice.”

The room fell silent with only the sound of her heartbeat filling her ears. She’d been foolish to think she had a future with him. This was for the best. With her betrothal confirmed, he would leave. She clearly meant nothing to him anyway. A light began to fill his eyes, filling the room with the intensity of a storm on the high seas. “Run away with me.”

“What?”

“We can be to Scotland by tomorrow. Married by nightfall.” Devon grasped her hands and wrapped them in his as he gazed into her eyes.

“Scotland.” Her legs were numb. Married by nightfall… She would have said yes only yesterday, but now? He’d lied to her. Even now, this could be some plot set forth by Solomon to achieve some evil end.

“Yes, Lily. Forget all of this madness here. Forget your family and come with me.”

Even after all he’d done, a small part of her still wanted to say yes. It was the same part that liked seeing flowers about to bloom and reading stories about love, and that believed the best of people, even liars. But he was in league with Solomon. She could never trust him, not now. He was no different from her brothers after all. “Devon, I can’t. What kind of future could we possibly have together?”

“I don’t know, Lily. I may not have funds the likes of which Harrow has clearly offered, but I can offer a pleasant life.”

“A pleasant life,” she repeated. “Pleasant for you or pleasant for me? I’ve spent years doing as my family requires, living their version of pleasant, and this is where it’s led me.”

“Your family doesn’t care for you.” He released one hand to tilt her chin up, looking her in the eye as he said, “I do.”

“No, you don’t.” This discussion was getting them nowhere. He didn’t care for her; he couldn’t. Why had he kept the truth of the ships from her if he cared?

“Of course I do.”

“If you ever cared for me, you would have told me you were in league with Solomon. You would have told me about the ships.”

“The ships? Is that what this is about?” He looked lost.

“So you do recall having business dealings with my brother.” She shook her head. “How could you, Devon? After all he’s put me through? Have you been on his side from the beginning? Is that why you never mentioned it?”

“Lily, I didn’t mention it because it has nothing to do with you, not to mention that it’s rather shameful.”

“That it is!”

His grip tightened on her fingers as he looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I don’t make a habit of going about town discussing my failed investments and how Solomon’s ships could keep my family from starvation. I need those ships, Lily. Don’t let this stop you from leaving with me.”

“If I run away with you, you would be further linked to Solomon through marriage. Is that what this is about? Ships? Money?”

“If you run away with me, I’ll likely be destroyed financially, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

She shook her head. Was he using her again? A marriage couldn’t be built on so little trust. “How can I believe you?”

He stepped away from her to run a hand through his hair, tousling it in every direction in the wake of his fingers. He turned back to her with the menacing look of a madman. “Is the alternative to believing me so appealing? A life spent at Harrow’s side?”

“I know little of Harrow, but at least he’s never tried to control me for his own financial gain.”

“Neither have I. Think about what you’re saying, Lily! You will be forced to lie with that man for the rest of your life.”

“I am aware of the implications of marriage and I am prepared to face them…”

“Will you think of me when you’re with him? When he falls drunken and lusty on top of you and has his way with your body, will you regret this moment?”

“Stop. Please, stop.” She closed her eyes against the image his words brought to mind.

“When you are forced to bear his children, will you think back to this day? I am offering you a better life, Lily! Come with me.”

“I can’t!” she yelled, her breaths coming out in small bursts of fire. The room fell silent except for the echo of her words off the walls.

He nodded. “If that is your final word…”

“It is,” she replied, yet neither of them moved. She looked into his stormy eyes, not wanting to ever look away. If they could but stay here unmoving forever, if time would stand still for them, she might be able to continue breathing. There would be no secrets, no lies, only the present and the two of them.

“I suppose this is good-bye, then.”

“Good-bye.” She began blinking to force her eyes to clear. There was no other way. She’d rather commit to a marriage that was loveless on both sides than to hopelessly devote her life to someone who could never return the love she was giving. And he’d made it abundantly clear he didn’t care for her the same way she did for him.

“If you choose it to be the end.” He did not flinch, staring into her eyes and through them into her very soul.

Of course she didn’t choose it to be the end, but he had lied to her, used her. How could she trust him now? No. She couldn’t. It was over.

“I…” She closed her eyes to hold back the tears that were pooling at her lashes, shaking her head as they slipped down her cheeks in rebellion. “I have something for you.” She reached into her pocket and closed her shaking fingers around the cold metal of the pocket watch. Pulling it out, she looked down into the small fox’s sapphire eyes once more. The watch felt heavy in her palm. “I should never have taken it.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want it back.”

“No, it’s yours. I only took it because…well, it doesn’t matter why anymore.” The tears were streaming down her face now and she wiped them away with her fingers, sniffling so she could continue. “I see now how silly I was. I’ve learned I can’t hold on to love, not in the palm of my hand. Not like this. So I want you to have it back.” She turned his hand over with her own and dropped the watch into his grasp.

“I can’t take this.”

“It’s yours. It was always yours. I’m sorry.”

He looked up from the pocket watch in his hand to her face in confusion.

Her chest seemed to be collapsing under a great weight. She licked her lips and breathed in a shaky breath. Her words escaped her mouth on a whisper. “Good-bye, Devon. For my part, anyway, I will always love you.” She dropped his hand and turned, running from the room.

***

Devon stared into the palm of his hand for a moment. He didn’t want the damned watch! Had she said she loved him? How could she say those words yet still agree to marry another? He dropped the watch into his pocket and began walking at a leaden pace toward the door.

She loved him. His heart pounded with the news. But she would not go with him. What option did that leave? Was he doomed to see her at Harrow’s side for the remainder of his life?

Stepping into the foyer, he paused at the bottom of the stairs, gripping the railing. Lily was somewhere at the top of these stairs. He could go after her. He could make her see reason. He took two steps up toward her. What could he say to change her mind?

“Thornwood.”

Devon stopped. Turning, he saw Lily’s brother exiting the library. Nathaniel, he believed he was called. “Mr. Phillips.”

“Where are you going?”

“I need to speak further with Lily.”

“From the sounds of your conversation in the parlor, I believe my sister has said all she intends to say to you.”

“Pardon me, but you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t I? Why don’t you enlighten me then, Thornwood?”

“I don’t have time to explain things to you. I need to speak with Lily!” He turned back toward the stairs, bellowing, “Lily!”

“Thornwood! I will not have you cracking the plaster on the walls of my home with your yelling. Now, if you would please come back down
my
staircase, we can discuss this.”

Devon turned, sneering at the man. “Yes? And what good will that do? She will still be wed to Harrow as soon as the banns can be posted. All because of those blasted ships!”

He took one step down the stairs, his knuckles turning white where he gripped the railing. “I offer her everything I have and she gives me back the damned pocket watch she stole from me a year ago.” He took another step down the stairs. “It’s not what I want! It was never about the watch. It was about her. It’s always been about her.” He ground the words out through his clenched jaw.

“The pocket watch she stole from you a year ago,” Nathaniel repeated, his eyes narrowing. “Do you mind if I see it?”

Devon pulled the watch from his pocket, holding it out in the palm of his hand. Nathaniel stepped closer to take a look. “Father’s watch,” he uttered in a quiet voice. His gaze snapped up to Devon’s. “How did this come into your possession a year ago?”

“I bought it from a shop.” Devon leveled a glare on the man before him. “Just before your sister stole it from me in the dead of night while I thought she was sleeping.”

“You thought she was sleeping.” He paused to blink. “Thornwood, what exactly is the nature of your relationship with Lillian?”

“That is far too complicated a question when I need to be speaking with her or someone who can stop this betrothal.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He needed to be doing something, not standing around talking to Lily’s disinherited brother. “I don’t have time for this.” He made to push past the man and head for the front door. But a hand caught him on the shoulder, impeding his progress.

“If you’ve had relations with my sister, you need to damn well make time for this.” Nathaniel straightened, dropping his hold on Devon’s shoulder. His lips were pursed in the same manner that Devon had seen Lily’s purse when angry.

“Mr. Phillips, my quarrel is not with you. I have asked Lily to elope with me to Scotland and she has said no.”

“I see.” Nathaniel paused to glance back at the open library door, a look of calculation drawing his brows together. “Thornwood, the disasters that seem to continue to befall every gentleman that nears Lillian this season…they were your doing?”

Devon blinked at the turn of their conversation but didn’t offer an answer.

“The men my brother has set forth for her to marry, Hingsworth, Amberstall, Erdway, and Harrow. Do you know what they all have in common, Thornwood?”

“Aside from the fact that they would all make your sister miserable for the remainder of her life?”

“Yes, aside from that.”

“Does there need to be more? I can’t imagine any gentlemen less suited for marriage to Lily.” He paused, rubbing the bridge of his nose in thought.

“I agree with you,” Nathaniel finally said. “And yet I, like you, can do nothing to stop it from happening.”

There was something he was not saying. “If you know something, I demand to know what it is,” Devon said. “If there is some piece to this puzzle I have missed, you must tell me. Your sister’s future happiness is at stake!”

“Tell me, Thornwood, do you love her?”

Devon’s gaze shifted to the table across the room. He swallowed, knowing Lily’s brother was watching his every move.

The answer to the question caught at the back of his throat. All he could do was nod his head. God, yes, he loved her. He had loved her since the day she wandered into his life in a giant blue dress. He had loved her while he searched the city for her. He had loved her when he saw her again across that ballroom, and he certainly loved her now.

“Then you need to speak with my brother Solomon. In our little family, Josiah may hold the title, but Solomon holds the cards.”

Devon looked back at Nathaniel. “We both know he’ll only be swayed by money, and that is the one thing I’m low on at the moment.”

“You can try.”

With one last look at the stairs that led to Lily, Devon nodded. Turning, he was almost to the front door when he caught sight of the Marquess of Elandor standing in the library. Devon wasn’t sure what the man was doing eavesdropping at Nathaniel’s library door, as he rarely left Parliament, but he did not care. Right now he needed to get to Solomon Phillips.