"Laura," he said, stroking my hair. He put his cheek to mine and whispered in my ear. "When I first saw you in school, I felt as if your face was
immediately printed in my mind. That first day, I looked for you everywhere, and if I changed classes and didn't see you, I was sick with disappointment."
"I noticed you, too, but I didn't think you were looking at me in a special way."
"That was because I was too shy to say anything. I thought you would take one good look at my face and know I had fallen head over heels. I was afraid you would laugh at me."
"I never would."
"I know that now," he said, putting the tips of his fingers on my lips. "But I didn't know it until I spoke to you and saw how wonderful you really were. I was walking around in a daydream, even at home. I remember I walked right into the kitchen door and bumped my forehead. My father thought I was taking drugs or something. Then my mother looked at me and said, 'He met a girl. I don't know anything else that would turn a boy his age into a clumsy, absentminded oaf."
"She said that?"
"My mother has a great sense of humor," Robert said. "I can't wait for you to meet her."
"Does she meet all your girlfriends?" I asked. He smiled.
"I haven't had many girlfriends, and never one like you," he replied. "Before you, what I felt for other girls was a schoolboy's crush, but when I look at you, Laura, I know it's for real. I hope you feel the same way."
"I do, Robert," I said. "I really do," I added, and we kissed again. This time he kept kissing me, moving his lips down to my neck. I closed my eyes and let my head rest against his shoulder. His hands moved along my ribs, over my dress, his fingers sliding over the material and then up to my breasts. At first, I instinctively brought my hands up to stop him, but the tingle was so pleasant and warmed me so wonderfully, I let him continue.
Robert sensed my hesitation and then my quick surrender. It made him kiss me faster, harder, longer, his lips rushing over mine before going to my neck, while his hands lifted my breasts, his thumbs riding over the crests of them, caressing my budding nipples.
A soft moan left my lips and I felt Robert gently push me down. He was over me, his fingers finding the zipper behind my dress and carefully moving it down my back. I lifted my arms and he helped me fold the top of my dress to my waist. My eyes were closed as his fingers continued to explore until they unfastened my bra. For a long, delicious moment, my heart pounding, I thought I might die from anticipation and then, when his lips came down upon me, I thought I'd die of pleasure.
The rush of excitement crashed against my better judgment. I knew I should tell him to slow down, but I felt like I was floating, gently undulating on a wave of passion, a wave that was carrying me out too far. "Wait," I heard myself say finally. "We're moving too quickly, Robert. I'm afraid.
-
He lifted himself from me and I saw him above me, his eyes closed. He took a deep breath and caught hold of the wild passion that was pulling him forward, too.
"You're right, Laura," he said. "I just couldn't stop myself."
"I know a lot of girls wouldn't stop you, Robert. I understand if you're angry with me."
"No," he said, smiling. "It's just the opposite. I want us to be something special, very special. I want us to move as quickly as we both want to move, and love as we both want to love. I want this to last, Laura. I really do love you."
I nodded,
"I love you, too, Robert." I reached up for him again, but he shook his head and pulled my bra down over my breasts.
"If we don't stop now, I won't be able to, Laura," he confessed. He leaned back against the car door and I sat up and fixed my clothes. He had to help me with my dress zipper.
Then we just sat there in each other's arms, listening to our hearts calm themselves, kissing gently every once in a while, and talking softly about the stars, our love, our dreams. Suddenly, Robert looked at his watch.
"Wow, I didn't realize how long we've been here. We had better get going or you'll be late for your curfew."
He started the engine and put the car into reverse. We heard the tires spin, but the car didn't move.
"What the . ."
He gunned the engine and the tires squealed, kicking up more sand that slapped at the belly of the car, but still we didn't move. He put the car into drive and tried to move forward, then back, rocking the vehicle, but that didn't work either.
"Oh no," he moaned. He reached over to open the glove compartment to take out a flashlight. Then he got out and shined the light on the rear tires. "I dug a hole in the sand. I didn't realize it was so soft here!"
"Robert, what are we going to do?"
"I'll have to run back until I can find a house with lights on and make a call to a tow truck. I'm sorry. I've ruined everything. There's no way we can explain . ."
Suddenly, a set of headlights brightened up the sky. Robert brought his hand to his forehead to shade his eyes. "What the hell . . . Who?"
"Who is it, Robert?" I asked, terrified.
"I can't make him out yet, but . . I think it's Cary!" he declared after another moment.
I turned to look. I would never mistake that silhouetted form. It was Cary walking along the beach road, his truck headlights on behind him.
"Cary!" I cried as soon as he drew close enough.
"Got yourself in a bit of trouble, I see," Cary said with his hands on his hips, gazing down at the wheels.
"Yes, I didn't realize--"
"That's because you aren't from around here," he said disdainfully. "You think these roads are like the old dirt back roads where you took your other girlfriends, huh?"
"No," Robert protested, but Cary just turned to me.
"This was stupid, Laura," he said to me. "I thought you knew better."
"What are you doing here, Cary? How did you find us?"
"I saw you leave the school dance and thought you were going home. When you kept going toward the Point . . . well, just lucky for you I decided to trail along for a while."
A while? I thought. We'd been here a long time. What was he doing all that time?
He turned to Robert. "I'll back my truck in. I've got a chain on it. We'll hook it to the axle and pull you out. Get in and put the car in neutral," he ordered. Robert got back into the car quickly. "And make sure you don't have any brakes on," Cary warned before returning to his truck.
"I can't believe . . your brother," Robert mumbled. We turned and watched Cary turn the truck around and then back it up toward us. He approached with the chain and crawled under Robert's car. "Why would he follow us like this?" Robert whispered.
"Lucky for us he did," I replied, choosing not to even think about his question at the moment.
"It's all set," Cary called. "Get ready."
He returned to the truck and slowly drove forward. We felt Robert's car jerk and then lift out of the holes he had dug with the tires. The car bounced along the beach road until we were on more solid ground. Cary stopped and returned to detach his chain.
Robert stepped out.
"Thanks a lot," he said sheepishly.
"I didn't do it for you. I did it for Laura," Cary replied. He stepped over to my side of the car. "You better come home with me, Laura," he said.
"I'll take her home," Robert said.
"It looks like it's safer if she drives with me," Cary said, and even in the darkness, I could see Robert turn bright red.
"If I don't come home with Robert, Daddy will wonder why, Cary."
"So?"
"You're not going to tell him about this," I pleaded.
"No, of course not," he said quickly. "Okay, but it's getting late," he warned. He looked at Robert. "And I'm not going to hang around here to bail you out again."
He strutted back to his truck and then drove away. Robert got back into the car and pulled out, driving slowly.
"Why did he follow us, Laura?"
"He was bored, I suppose," I said. It was weak, but it was all I could think to say.
"Was he there all the time, sitting in his truck right behind us? Watching us? Spying on us?"
I started to speak, but just shook my head instead.
"Those idiots back at the dance were right, you know. He was in the parking lot. You've got to help him, Laura. You've got to help him realize you can't be his little sister forever," Robert said.
"I know, Robert. Let's not talk about it right now, please," I begged. Just thinking about Cary's weird obsession with Robert and me brought tears to my eyes and put a lump in my throat.
"Okay," he said, and we were both
uncomfortably silent until my house came into view.
"I'm sorry for what happened," Robert said after he parked in our driveway. "Cary was right to bawl me out for it. I just hope it didn't ruin your night."
"No, it didn't. I had a wonderful time, Robert. Really, I did."
"Me too," he said. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"
"Let me call you. It'll be easier that way," I said.
"Okay. If that's what you want." He looked worried.
"I'll call. I promise," I said. He smiled and we kissed quickly before I hopped out of his car. "Thanks for a wonderful evening, Robert."
"Good night, Laura."
I closed the door and looked over at Cary's truck. He was already in the house. When I entered, I found Daddy had waited up for me and was sitting in the living room reading. He looked up from his book. I held my breath, wondering whether Cary had decided to say something after all.
"Have a good time?" Daddy asked.
"Yes, Daddy. It was very nice."
"Everybody behaved themselves?"
"Yes, Daddy."
He nodded and then lowered his voice.
"Your brother didn't come home much earlier than you. I think he's got a secret girlfriend. Am I right?" he asked quickly, unable to keep the hope from his voice.
I felt the blood drain from my face as I shook my head. I hated lying to Daddy.
"I don't know, Daddy. He's never mentioned any girl to me," I said.
Daddy stared at me a moment and then shrugged.
"Oh well," he said, "he'll tell us when he wants to. I just hope it's not someone he thinks we'd be ashamed of." Daddy continued to gaze at me with questioning eyes.
I pressed my teeth on my lower lip and shook my head.
"I don't know, Daddy." How I wished it were true that Cary had found a girlfriend, I thought sadly.
"Well," Daddy said, looking at the clock on the mantel, "young Mr. Royce brought you home on time. That's good." He sighed deeply and stretched out his arms. "It is late though, so I guess I'll go to sleep, too," he added and yawned. "Don't forget we're all going to Grandma Olivia and Grandpa Samuel's tomorrow for brunch."
"Okay. Good night, Daddy," I said, happy to get away from his questioning eyes.
I hurried up the stairs. Pausing on the landing, I saw the door to Cary's room was closed and quickly went into my own room, closing the door behind me. I leaned against it and caught my breath. It was only then that I finally felt myself relax with relief.
Unwilling to take off my party dress just yet, I went to my bed and sat there for a while, thinking about the magical night Robert and I had shared. What an evening, I thought, and then my memories of Robert's kisses, Robert's embrace and touch returned, washing over me in a warm reverie. I lay back with a sigh and closed my eyes, thinking about his hands on my breasts, his lips making me tingle. As I thought about him, I moved my hands to where his had been. I started to undress. In moments, I was naked, standing in front of my mirror, gazing dreamily at myself, imagining Robert beside me. Finally, my fatigue hit me and I went to the bathroom to rinse off my makeup. It felt good to crawl under my blanket and snuggle up.
Despite it all, I thought, it was a wonderful night. It really was. I reached over and turned off the small lamp beside my bed and dropped my head to the pillow. The sound of the floor above creaking popped my eyes open and drove away my sweet thoughts. I held my breath and listened. It was Cary, for I heard him open the attic room door, drop the ladder, and descend as quietly as he could.
He had been up there the whole time, maybe peeping through that hole at me, I thought. I felt my body grow hot with embarrassment as my blood rushed toward the surface of my skin. How much had he seen? We had stopped bathing and sharing the bathroom when we were seven or eight, and I began to demand my privacy even more when I began to develop breasts. Cary's curious eyes had made me feel self-conscious. It wasn't long afterward that I stopped walking around in front of him in my underwear. Even then, the way he looked at me and my changing body made me uncomfortable.
I got up and went to my door, opening it slightly to peer out as he returned the ladder, I started to open the door wider and then hesitated. If I confronted him, I'd only bring more embarrassment to myself, I thought. It was late, I told myself; it wasn't the time for this.
I closed the door ever so softly and waited until I heard him go into his room. Then I went back to bed and lay there with my eyes open, trying desperately to drive the troubled thoughts from my mind so I could think only of Robert and our wonderful night together.
But when I turned on my side and closed my eyes, I saw only Cary's angry face after he had emerged from the darkness behind us, his truck headlights casting him in an eerie silhouette. I finally drifted to sleep, only to find that Cary was in my nightmares, along with the distorted faces of my classmates, whispering, leering, laughing, chasing me toward the roaring sea. Everything was so vivid. I woke in a sweat after the first wave washed over me in my dream. My heart was pounding. I sat up quickly and had to hold my hand over my heart and take deep breaths. Finally, I got up and went to the bathroom to splash my face with cold water.
Whenever Cary and I had a nightmare, we would share it the next morning. It was a way we both had to drive the demons out of our hearts, to comfort each other. For the first time, I couldn't tell him about my dream. This time, I had to find a way to drive the demons out myself.
3
Trouble's Brewing
.
Cary sat sullenly at the breakfast table the next
morning. We exchanged few words, but most of the time when he looked at me, I thought I could see the accusations in his eyes. I didn't believe he had any right to make me feel guilty and I refused to act ashamed. If anyone should be ashamed, he should, I thought, following me around at night, peeping through holes in the ceiling.
Mommy was eager to hear about the dance, and I was thankful that at least she could share my happiness. As I spoke, I signed to May, describing the decorations, the food, the music. Of course, I left out the unpleasantness over the ticket and mentioned nothing about Cary pulling Robert's car out of the sand.