‘You are very good with children,’ Juliana said, smiling, and Edward knew then that she would hire this one.
‘Unlike most schoolmasters of my acquaintance’ – the tutor leaned in conspiratorially – ‘I’m rather fond of them.’
‘Do you and your wife have any of your own?’
‘Sadly, not yet – but I do confess that my wife is somewhat younger than me, and so I hope we shall, in due course. She loves babies herself; in fact, she often fosters and cares for other people’s little ones. If young James does come to our home for his lessons then he will certainly learn what it’s like to be around other children. The lessons themselves will of course take place in a private room and he will need to concentrate and work very hard, but I am a believer in allowing breaks for the learning to be absorbed before moving on.’
‘I quite agree,’ said Juliana. Finally, she looked Edward’s way and he gave a slight nod. She smiled. ‘Then I think all we need do is settle on times and your fees. I will be happy to leave my son in your educational care.’
*
It was as if something had been freed in Juliana that night. Charles Hebbert called in to say that Dr Bond was in far better spirits – still weak, but dressed and up, and well enough for Hebbert to reduce his visits to every other day.
It had been a long way to come simply to impart that news, but Juliana was always pleased to see her father. Edward too was happy to see him, but he was equally happy when he accepted a glass of wine but would not stay for dinner, saying he planned on dining at his club. While Juliana was in such good spirits Edward wanted her to himself; Hebbert tipped him a wink on the way out – sharp-eyed as he was, he could obviously see that too.
‘So now that James’ tutor is taken care of, you can start your journey as a businesswoman,’ Edward said as they finished dinner.
‘I feel as if life is starting again for me,’ she said. ‘And I do think it would make James happy to think I was looking after his business for his son.’
‘He would be very proud of you, of that I am sure. Although I cannot imagine he wasn’t already as proud as a man could be, just to have you as his wife.’
There was silence after that as Juliana looked down into her glass, her expression unreadable. He had never met a woman so warm and yet so contained. What did he have to do to win her over? Why could she not just love him as he did her?
‘It’s late,’ he said at last, ‘and it has been a long day. I should return to my hotel.’
She looked up, her dark eyes studying him. ‘Perhaps you should stay,’ she said softly.
His heart raced suddenly. He didn’t speak, not wanting to break the moment.
‘It would not be a promise of anything,’ she continued, as if they were discussing a business contract. ‘It would not mean that I am not still considering my obligation to Thomas.’
Obligation
. She had used the word herself.
‘I just wish to feel alive again.’ Her fear and loneliness shone from her eyes. She had been without a man for a long time. He got to his feet without saying a word and followed her upstairs to her bedroom. They peeled each other’s clothes off with increased urgency and fell on the bed, barely able to stop kissing long enough to gasp in a breath. Edward Kane thought he would explode at the feel of Juliana’s silk-soft skin on his. He held her full breasts and took a nipple in his mouth, teasing her expertly with his tongue. Her hands ran through the curly dark hair on his chest, no doubt very different from James Harrington’s smooth, boyish skin, and as her back arched under his touch any initial shyness she might have been feeling vanished. This was truly a woman in his arms, not a girl. He slid his head down further, relishing the taste of her, and despite his own desperate need to be inside her he held back, instead concentrating on pleasuring her, until she was hot and moist and panting with desire. She pulled him back up the bed and opened herself fully to him, grasping his buttocks to pull him in deeper. He groaned as they grappled with each other, trying to hold back, until with a cry, he forced himself to withdraw, dragging himself out of her just at the last moment and spilling his seed across her smooth belly.
It had been pure animalistic sex, all grunting, urgent
need
and
want
, but as they lay there in each other’s arms, the summer night’s heat caressing their cooling skin, Edward Kane knew that they had also been making love, perhaps for the first time in his life.
He was content. He was more than content. He was ecstatically happy, and he made a silent vow that he would always protect Juliana Harrington and keep her safe, no matter the paths their lives might take.
Assessment
The patient appears to be making progress. He is calmer and his visible tics have lessened. He allowed himself to be washed, although this heightened his anxiety levels. His sense of distraction has decreased although his fear of water is not diminished. He is still mainly wary of touch
.
He has requested that Dr Bond not be allowed to visit him again.
It was a relief to be finally feeling myself again, even though my energy was drained and simply moving around my house exhausted me. Charles Hebbert had done me a great service, caring for me throughout the worst of my fever, but now that I was on my way to recovery I enjoyed having some time to myself.
My head was finally – thankfully – clear. A month confined to my house and under the close supervision of my friend and Mrs Parks had cured me of my growing opium addiction, and I was determined to avoid even the laudanum where possible, although I had to accept it when the racking pains in my chest were at their worst. I was determined that I would not be dragged into that place again. The priest was dead and Kosminski was in the asylum, and now that I was rational once more, it was clear to me how the poor Polish hairdresser could have been so deluded. I did not doubt that the priest had visited him, but after much contemplation I had concluded that he was suffering from his own delusions – he clearly was a member of an order whose role it was to fight supposed demons – and he must have convinced Kosminski that he had transferred the
Upir
to him. It would not have been a difficult task, not given the state of paranoid delusion that gripped that unhappy young man so firmly.
Now that I was free of the opium haze I had been locked in, I
could see the ridiculousness of the fear that had overwhelmed me on my return home. When I had awakened in a fever and feeling so ill it was not caused by any mythical
Upir
– I did not doubt that I had caught some sickness from the asylum. Kosminksi was far from a healthy man and he had pulled me close to him. It pleased me to find that I could think of such madness with a calm head; I could even feel amused by my own involvement in it.
Mrs Parks had brought me soup for lunch and left cold meat and salads prepared for me in the pantry, her regular routine. My appetite had shrunk considerably during the weeks of my illness, and rather than worry her by not eating her repasts, I had started taking much of it to the back door and feeding the cats that wandered the streets. I had collected several regular visitors in the ten days or so since I had started leaving my bed and they allowed me to stroke them, wrapping themselves around my legs and purring as I fed them morsels of pork and beef.
This warm evening was no different. When I opened the door, three or four appeared out of nowhere, vocally expressing their eagerness as I tore bits of chicken from the breast that was supposed to be my supper. I murmured at them, finding an easy joy in their presence, even if their affection was based entirely on the food in my hands. A cheeky-looking black and white chap leapt over the back of one of his fellows and sat at my feet expectantly, and I could almost see his eyebrow raised in an expression of
Oh do hurry up, I haven’t got all day
. I normally tried to ensure each got an equal amount but I do confess I gave him a little more than the others, simply for his attitude.
The air was sticky and humid, but it was a pleasant change from being inside, so I took a kitchen chair and sat there for a
while enjoying the heat and the thrum of the city, not caring that I looked like a strange eccentric to any who passed me by. I must eventually have dozed off, for when I came to with a start, night was falling and the air was a little chill, making my skin tingle. My feline companions had vanished, no doubt back to the comforts of their owners’ beds, and I, in turn, sought mine out, where I fell into a sound and dreamless sleep.
*
Juliana visited me the next afternoon, and she was the final tonic required in my recovery. She told me she had been wanting to visit all month and scolded me for refusing her entry, but her reprimand was given with a smile and I could see she was happy to find me well. Mrs Parks fussed around her as she told me about little James’ new tutor and how that would allow her to spend much more time at the wharves, learning the business. She spoke with great joy, but she seemed slightly shy with me, which I put down to our having spent a month apart. I decided it would be best to leave some time before discussing our engagement further. I hated that I had been so ill – I hoped she would not see that as a sign of my age, just a simple bout of something unpleasant, which truly was all it was. I was older, certainly, but not yet an old man, and I fully intended to ensure I remained fit and healthy in order to be a good husband to her when we did finally wed.
‘I am very fond of you, Thomas,’ she said as she left. ‘You do know that, don’t you?’ She touched my cheek softly and then kissed it. Her lips were like butterfly wings, and they made my heart race.
‘I am very glad to hear that,’ I said, ‘for you know what you mean to me.’
Her lips lifted in something that was almost a smile, but
her eyes dropped from mine. ‘I shall see you soon, Thomas. Now, make sure you get well.’
I had almost forgotten how beautiful she was, and now that my mind was clear of drugs and delusion I could not wait to make her my own. My spirits were truly lifted and when I fed the cats I added an extra two slices of thick ham to their feast from the larder.
*
I had hoped Juliana might call on me again the following day, but she did not. Disappointed though I was, I realised that with her new interest in Harrington’s business and little James to prepare for the tutor she was increasingly busy, and it was not a short trip from Barnes to Westminster. But now that I was recovering I was stuck in that Purgatory between being too weak to do very much, but better enough to feel restless and bored. I read for a while and wrote letters – one to Charles, thanking him for taking such good care of me, and another to Andrews, telling him he was welcome to visit whenever it suited him.
By late afternoon I was once again in my new spot at the back door, sipping tea and waiting for my feline companions to arrive. It had become so much a habit I was beginning to contemplate getting a cat myself – I smiled to myself as I imagined Mrs Parks’ face. But then I was sure that if she saw me sitting in the doorway, a blanket over my knees, feeding morsels of her lovingly prepared dishes to strays and wandering pets, she would probably call for the men from the asylum herself.
I relaxed back into my chair and shrugged my shoulders, trying to ease my back, which still ached from whatever had plagued my chest. I was happy to see the first of my fellows
trotting towards me, the others soon following, but sadly there was no sign of the cheeky little black and white tom.
He must have found a better offer somewhere else
, I thought to myself, which made me smile.
*
Within a few days I was feeling well enough to leave the house, and although I did not wish to walk too far I took a hansom down to the wharves to visit Juliana, which served a two-fold purpose. I was curious to see how she was doing – and I missed her company, of course – but I knew this was the last of the ghosts of the past I had to expel. If Juliana was determined to become a businesswoman and I was determined to make her my wife, I was going to have to make my peace with that place, though it held so many bad memories. Even so, as resolved as I was, my heart was beating fast as I made my way to the offices I had not seen for so many years. Thankfully there was no dockers’ strike today, and instead of the eerily empty space I saw on my last visit, this time the place was abuzz with men loading and unloading crates and ferrying them to and from the various warehouses and out to the dock, filling the gantries and workspaces with noise and life.
‘I hope you don’t mind my calling in,’ I said, smiling, as I opened the office door. ‘I thought I would like to see the magnate at work.’
Juliana was behind the desk, with Mr Barker leaning over her shoulder, obviously discussing a document with her. She leapt up as she saw me, crying, ‘Thomas! What a wonderful surprise!’
She looked beautiful, less formally dressed than normal, and in more severe colours than the bright clothes she usually favoured, but nothing could dull her own natural shine.
‘I shan’t stay long,’ I said. ‘I know you have much to do.’
‘Stay as long as you like. It is so good to see you looking so well.’
She swept out from behind the desk and came to kiss me on the cheek, and it was only when I closed the door after her embrace that I saw Edward Kane standing behind it, leaning over an open filing cabinet drawer. My heart dropped. I had known that Juliana would forgive the young man, of course, but I certainly had not expected to find him here.
‘Dr Bond.’ He smiled at me, and I struggled to return the gesture. Was there something a little false in his own too, I wondered?
‘Mr Kane.’ I nodded at him, and from the corner of my eye I could see Juliana looking nervously from one of us to the other. My heart melted slightly. She was obviously worried that I would not be happy that she had forgiven him – and I would not want to cause her any worry. And it was perfectly reasonable that she should want his assistance now, for he could help her far more in the world of business than I. Perhaps this was his way of making amends.