Murder at the High School Reunion (21 page)

Lou and I talked as we drove out to Spickard’s place.

“I have to admit, Lou, that retired janitor was near
the bottom of my list of those who I thought might have done it.”

“Same here, Cy. But it seems that now he has to be the
one.”

“I know. That’s what bothers me. Nothing is ever as
hard or as easy as it seems.”

+++

As I drove out into the country, I hoped that there
was some other explanation. I didn’t want Earl Spickard to be our killer. I
wasn’t sure who I wanted instead of him, but for some reason, I didn’t want it
to be him. And yet, it looked like he had to be the one.

We pulled up to the dead end. I parked and locked
Lightning, and we got out with heavy hearts. Maybe it was the grimness of the
occasion, but I felt like we were being watched as we made our way through the
trees to Spickard’s cabin. Was Spickard sitting there somewhere in the trees,
aware of why we’d come back, with a rifle aimed at us. I listened for banjo
music, but heard nothing. Sometimes, it’s worse to hear nothing than to hear
something. Before long, we would realize that this was one of those times. But
not yet.

We walked slowly, carefully. Our heads darted from
left to right, scanning the forested area, looking for someone who might not be
our friend. While there wasn’t that much of a clearing, only a few feet on each
side of us, and sometimes not that much, I hated being out in the open where
someone could pick us off one at a time. I motioned for Lou to move as close to
the tree line as possible. That way, maybe someone would pull one of us into
the trees instead of shoot us. I figured if someone was out to get us, it was
only one someone. I thought that two fat boys who had started working out could
handle one person who put his gun down, especially if that one person was an
old man. While I didn’t want to be shot at, I didn’t want Earl Spickard to get
away, either. He knew the woods and the river better than we did. There’s no
telling how long it would take us to find him if he went into hiding.
Considering how everyone else felt about the deceased, I was sure that others
would be willing to help him, and not us. At least so far no one seemed eager
to help us.

A couple of minutes later, I could see the cabin
through the trees. I had no idea if Spencer was in there, out in the woods,
down by the river, or if he had left town. I would soon find out. As quietly as
possible, Lou and I walked up to the cabin. We reached the door, listened for a
moment, and then knocked. I heard footsteps walking toward the door. Spickard
was home.

Spickard opened the door and looked at us. He had no
weapon.

“We’re back, Mr. Spickard. May we come in?”

“Shore. I told ya boys to come back anytime. Make
yourselves at home.”

We sat. I paused for a moment, decided to hit him with
it right away.

“Mr. Spickard, we know about Sarah Jane.”

“I was hopin’ ya wouldn’t find out.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Well, for years, her momma, who’s been dead nigh on
fifteen years now, kept her as close to her apron strings as she could. Nobody
knowed ’bout us. We live so far out and all. So, her momma kept her at home for
years, did all of her school learnin’ here. Sarah Jane done alla her work, and
she was a right smart little girl if I do say so myself. Only Sarah Jane growed
up and wanted to go to school with other boys and girls. This didn’t set well
with her momma, and they argued a might ’bout it, but in the end Sarah Jane won
out. Only, as it turned out, she lost.”

A lump formed in Spickard’s throat, and tears formed
in his eyes.

“If Sarah Jane was gonna go to school, she had to go
to the county school. Only Sarah Jane had a problem with that. Her daddy was
the jan-e-tor. She didn’t want anybody to know that the fella who cleaned the
toilets and swept the floors was her daddy. So, she changed her name. Her
momma, who was right smart too, came up with some paper that made it look like Sarah
Jane was transferrin’ in from some school in Tennessee. Got away with it, too.
She passed herself off as that Miriam girl you asked me ’bout before. She
wouldn’t even look at me if’n she saw me when she was walkin’ down the hall.
She was ashamed of her own daddy. Then I seen it. She tried to impress
everybody, make them think she was somebody. She took the rowboat to school, so
nobody’d know where she come from. I don’t think nobody ever found out, until
you come here today. She jist got too big for her britches, and it ended up
costing her her life. I didn’t like that Conkwright boy afore it happened, but
I’ve hated him ever since.”

Cops are supposed to remain impartial, unemotional.
But sometimes that’s hard. I sat there, trying my best to stay composed, when I
wanted to get up and put my arm around that man and tell him that he was
somebody, no matter what his daughter thought.

I gave him a second to compose himself, and then did
what I had to do.

“Mr. Spickard, I have to ask you this. Did you know
that woman was with him when you locked him in the freezer?”

He looked at me dumbfounded.

“What woman with who? In what freezer?”

I’d never thought of Earl Spickard as someone who
could be a good actor. His incredulous look seemed so genuine.

“Jimmy Conkwright.”

“I didn’t know how he died. I didn’t care how he died.
I’m just glad he’s dead, after what he done to my Sarah Jane.”

“So, you’re saying that you weren’t the one who closed
the freezer door and locked Conkwright and Betty Gail Spencer inside?”

“I didn’t lock nobody nowhere.”

“Do you have anyone who can verify that, Mr.
Spickard?”

“I don’t know. I just know I took Duck to the school.
He goes in aheada me. I walk in, go to the restroom and find my friend Walter
Gillis. Walter and I was together the whole time I was in that school, until I
left to come home. I never seen Conkwright or Duck’s wife neither one.”

“And you don’t know who locked those two people in the
freezer?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care.”

He showed no animosity toward me. While his whole declaration
was full of emotion, he didn’t come across as a murderer. I wondered if I was
any closer to finding the murderer than I was the day before. Of course I would
check on Spickard’s alibi, but I knew I couldn’t arrest him yet, if at all, and
I had to talk to other people. We visited with Earl Spickard a few more
minutes, tried to calm him before we left. I mentioned that we might come out
sometime and let him show us where the fish were biting. He said he’d enjoy
that.

+++

We excused ourselves and headed back to Lightning,
relieved that that much was over. There was still a murderer to catch, whether
that murderer was the man we’d just left, or someone else.

We walked through the trees a little faster. I thought
of all the people I planned to talk to in order to check up on Spickard’s
alibi. I would talk to most of them. Maybe if one of them wasn’t willing to
give Spickard an alibi, that one might actually be our murderer.

+++

We continued to walk until we neared the road. I
looked over at Lou and noticed the incredulous look on his face. I turned from
looking at Lou to looking in the direction Lou had been looking, which caused
my look to match his.

“Where’s Lightning?”

My yellow VW beetle, my other trusted companion, was
nowhere to be seen. It wasn’t like Lightning to take off without me.

I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t like a missing
kid, where I could look behind each tree until I spotted him or her. Cars don’t
hide behind trees. Even intelligent cars like Lightning.

“What do we do, Cy?”

“I don’t know. What do people usually do in a
situation like this?”

“Call the police.”

I refrained from uttering the obvious.

I stood there, thinking of my options. My pride and
joy was missing. I wasn’t thinking on all cylinders. Some of them were working,
however. I knew that even though I’d become a stud on the Wii, there was no way
Lou and I were in shape to walk to town.

Earl Spickard’s place was closer than the house where
Duck Spencer lived. I didn’t notice on the way out if Spencer was home or not,
but I knew the old man was. I also knew that Earl Spickard hadn’t taken
Lightning. He was with us the whole time. Well, not the whole time. But I
doubted that he could have stolen Lightning, taken a roundabout path through
the trees, and still beat us to his cabin, even if we were walking slowly.

I also knew that Spickard didn’t have a phone, and
Duck Spencer did. If I’d been thinking clearly, I would’ve gone to Duck
Spencer’s place, instead. If I’d done so, I’d found my trusted companion much
quicker, but I wasn’t thinking clearly, so I hollered, “Come on, Lou,” and took
off running as fast as I could to Spickard’s cabin.

He was standing in the door as we came to a stop, out
of breath.

“Why is you boys in such a gosh darn hurry? Oh, I get
it. The facilities are out back.”

I shook my head “no” that that wasn’t it.

“Well, I don’t speck you is wantin’ to fish so soon.
Think of another question?”

By this time, I was starting to breathe normally
again.

“Someone stole our car.”

“You’re kiddin’.”

“I wish I were.”

“Must be those Clough boys. Orneriest dadblamed boys.
I’ve had to run ’em off from here from time to time. Live up in them hills
somewhere. Meaner’n snakes.”

“I suppose you boys need a ride to town. Got my boat
out back. You boys are pretty good size boys. I’m not sure the boat would hold
all of us, but I’d be glad to loan her to ya, as long as ya bring her back in a
couple of days.”

I was not ready for another boat ride, but I figured
riding in Spickard’s boat was better than walking. Or was it? I looked at Lou.
He wasn’t happy with our choices, either. But then we didn’t want Spickard to
think we were afraid of riding in his boat.

“Okay, Mr. Spickard. But are you sure it will hold
both of us?”

“There’s only one way to find out. Come on, boys.”

We arrived at the river and looked at the skimpy craft
that would soon hold my body, but hopefully not my dead body. It looked a
little better than the rowboat I was in before, but was far from the cabin
cruiser I hoped he had. And, the boat had more amenities than my previous
craft. I was thankful for those amenities, even if all they were were two
paddles. But I wasn’t thankful of much else about my upcoming trip upstream.

Spickard gave us instructions on how to paddle,
recommended that we start with one of us paddling on the left side and the
other on the right, and then switch sides periodically. He refrained from
laughing at how gingerly we stepped into his boat. In a few frantic seconds,
both of us were seated, and while water didn’t come pouring into the boat, the
aluminum antique did set lower in the water than it did before we boarded.
Spickard could see our consternation, and shouted a few words of encouragement
as he pushed us out into the flowing river.

I knew that Spickard was standing there watching us. I
reprimanded Lou once for turning around to check. As soon as Lou realized we
were out of Spickard’s sight and hearing, he began.

“Row, row, row, your boat.”

“I’ll row your boat if you don’t stop.”

“I sure hope so, Cy. After all, isn’t that what we’re
both supposed to be doing?”

I frowned at him and then realized that he couldn’t
see my frown.

“Say, Cy, did you ever see the movie
Titanic?
”

“No, and you didn’t either.”

“But I know the ship sank.”

“Yeah, but that was a long time ago, and that ship was
in a lot more water.”

“And it was a lot bigger boat, too.”

“That’s enough, Lou.”

“Just remember, Cy, I’m in front. That means I’ll be
on the lookout for icebergs, at least until dark. How many days do you think it
will take us to get back?”

The thought of icebergs did little to improve the
sweltering heat. August 1 was almost upon us. It seemed to get hotter every
day. I seemed to get smellier every day. Well, at least the days I spent on the
water. I was interrupted by Lou’s most recent ejaculation.

“Land ahoy!”

“Lou, do you see anyone on shore anywhere?”

“No.”

“Remember that. And remember the guy in back can swing
his paddle better than the guy in front, allowing him to hit the guy in front.”

“But if the guy in the back knocks out the guy in the
front, the guy in the back has to do all the rowing.”

“That might be the only thing saving you at this
point.”

“Yes, your majesty. Does that mean I’m in the galley
and you’re cracking the whip?”

“Absolutely!”

Lou shut up and I was able to hear the birds, what ones
were out on that hot day. I wondered if most of them were buzzards and
vultures. The whole experience had an Alfred Hitchcock feel to it, which was
okay if I were sitting in a recliner, watching, but not so good if I’m one of
the two doofuses in a small boat. I was alone with my thoughts until an
approaching land mass loomed just ahead.

I looked at Lou, who had stopped paddling and seemed
to be in a battle with his face. Evidently, the circumstances had already begun
to affect his brain. Mine, too. I’d begun to think of Lou as someone who could
paddle, or, if not, ballast that must be thrown overboard to lighten my load.

“Lou, paddle, paddle, paddle.”

“Sorry, Cy. A mosquito landed on my nose.”

“Well, the next time it lands let it feast for a
while.”

“I’ll send it your way next time.”

“Listen, Lou, since you’re in such a mood to talk, why
don’t we discuss the case?”

“What case?”

“You’re testing my patience.”

“Yes, Doctor. Okay, shoot.”

“I’ve been thinking about doing just that.”

“I meant with your mouth.”

“Enough already. What do you think of what the old man
had to say? Obviously, he’s strong enough to shut that door, but he said he was
with someone all the time he was at the school.”

“So, you think they did it together?”

“Sort of a bizarre type of male bonding. I never
thought of that. So, what do you think?”

“Unlike most of these people, he looked like he was
telling the truth.”

“That does it! I’ll snap the cuffs on him when we
return his boat.”

“What if we don’t make it back, Cy? Can you write out
a note while you paddle this boat?”

“That reminds me, Lou. Did you ever get a paddling in
school?”

“No.”

“That’s why you’re so obstinate.”

“Oh, Cy, you’re just upset because neither of the two
who mean the most to you are here with you.”

“You think Jennifer has been kidnapped too?”

“It depends on how smart the guys are wherever she is.
No other guy can have all of her, though. She’s already given her heart to you.
Say, Cy, where do you plan to put ashore?”

“I hear Tahiti is nice this time of year.”

“A lot of places are nice this time of year, but where
do you plan to take one giant step for mankind?”

“Depends on whether or not we see any cars in the
school parking lot. If so, we’ll stop there. If not, I guess we have no options
except to go on and land just outside of town. I just know that I’m anxious to
get there, find Lightning, and check old man Spickard’s alibi.”

My stomach growled. I kicked myself for forgetting to
bring my morning snack again, but then realized that even if we had, we
wouldn’t have taken it in Spickard’s cabin with us. At any rate, hunger had set
in. Surely, it was getting close to noon. But were we close to any place I
might call civilization?

+++

I bit my tongue when Lou started singing
Paddlin’ Madeleine Home.
Several more minutes passed, and then things started looking familiar.
If I remembered correctly, the school was just around the next bend. If Walter
Gillis was there, I’d ask him if Spickard left him at any time that night.
Spickard didn’t have a phone, and only a boat for transportation, so there
wouldn’t be any way he would’ve been able to let Gillis know he needed him to
substantiate his story.

We rounded the bend and neared the school. My
consternation dropped when I saw there were no cars in the parking lot.

“Well, Lou, it looks like we’re in this thing for the
long haul.”

“At least we’re not being charged by the mile. By the
way, do you have any idea how many miles we’ve come?”

“I’d say over a hundred, give or take a few.”

+++

We continued to paddle, sometimes in silence, sometimes
in conversation. Once, when we both admitted to having aching arms and backs,
we stopped paddling for a couple of minutes. I wanted to get out and stretch my
legs, but doing so meant a whole afternoon of wet socks, and possibly wet
everything.

Even though there were two of us, I noticed how much
harder it was to row upstream than downstream. Of course I never rowed downstream.
I just went with the flow.

It must have been 2:00 or later when I heard the first noise of civilization. When we rounded the last bend, almost to town, and
saw where some of those noises were coming from, I wanted to hide under the
boat. There, waiting at the landing, were my friends and colleagues Lt. George
Michaelson, medical examiner Frank Harris, and officers Heather Ambrose and Dan
Davis. When they saw us, they broke into thunderous applause and high-pitched
whistles.

+++

I looked up at the coagulated mass cheering us on.
Well, cheering until we got close enough to hear what they had to say.

“From the looks of them, I’d say this must be steerage
class.”

“Which one’s the coxswain anyway?”

“Isn’t that the guy who doesn’t row and runs his mouth
telling everyone else to row?”

“That’s right.”

“Then it’s the one in the back.”

“Okay, okay, enough already. How did you guys know we
were lost at sea?”

“A call came in that some guy who looked very much
like a dumb cop had traded his toy car for a rowboat. Hmm! Looks like you
traded up, Cy.”

“I’ll trade up you, George. Say, Frank, what are you
doing here?”

“I got a call, too. Two behemoths on the brink of
death were seen traveling upstream in a runaway canoe.”

“Heather, Officer Davis, what are you two doing
hanging out with all this riffraff?”

The two merely laughed.

“They weren’t hanging out with riffraff until you two
showed up. Show me that old rowing stroke again, Cy.”

“So, the ticker tape parade starts here. Any word on
Lightning?”

“No storms expected before sometime next week.”

“You guys had better hope that you never lose your
job, because you’ll never make it at a comedy club. Now, how about my car?”

“Only that an insect resembling yours was seen heading
toward Key West.”

“I mean it.”

“Yeah, yeah, no one’s spotted it that I know of. Why?
Did someone steal it?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“I thought we got a call that said someone had seen it
and it now has purple spots.”

“I heard orange spots.”

“Sounds bad. Looks like we’ll have to put it in
quarantine.”

“You mean driving through a car wash won’t do the
trick.”

“Okay, guys. I mean it. Lightning means a lot to me.”

“More than I do?”

“Heather, dear, you’re the only one here who might
mean as much to me as my car. How about the three of us going off somewhere
together?”

“You mean you, me, and Dan?”

“I mean you, me, and Lightning.”

“How about him?” she asked, pointing at Lou.

“Lou. He’s already got a car.”

“And Dan? Weren’t you mainly responsible for getting
the two of us together?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry that didn’t work out.”

“Oh, it’s working out great.”

I turned and looked up at Officer Dan Davis just as
his face turned to crimson.

“Go easy on him, Heather. He’s not ready to see you in
that cute little number I saw you in. Now, is anyone willing to help us out of
the floating bathtub?”

George and Frank reached down and each took one of
Lou’s arms and hoisted him up onto the dock, then looked at me.

“What about him?” Frank asked George, as he pointed in
my direction.

“Might as well. I’m all for ridding the river of as
much pollution as possible.”

As two arms reached down to pull me up I briefly
thought of yanking them off the dock and into the river, but then I figured it
would be hard for me to do that and not fall in with them, so I let them pull
me up to the hard ground.

“I’m serious now, guys, have you heard anything about
Lightning?”

“Sorry, Cy.”

“Then how did you know that we were in a canoe?”

“Some kid called in, said that someone had stolen old
man Spickard’s boat. When he described the two criminals as too big to be in
that canoe, we knew it had to be the two of you. Actually, the kid said that he
thought he’d seen those same two guys driving a little, yellow car down Thornapple River Road. We knew that the two of you were out that way working on those
murders that took place at the high school, but we couldn’t figure out why in
the world you’d be in a rowboat. We thought maybe old Tweetie Pie had broken
down. We knew that neither of you carries a phone, and we know that parts of
that road are very remote. While none of us could see you in a rowboat, all of
us could see you in a rowboat if hoofing it was your only other option. So,
what happened to Tweetie Pie?”

“Her name is Lightning, and we left her at the dead
end of Flat Rock Road when we went to interrogate a suspect. When we went back,
Lightning was gone. The suspect owned a boat, but, as you can see, it’s not big
enough for three. He agreed to loan it to us. By the way, we would’ve called,
but the suspect doesn’t have a phone.”

“You say this guy is one of your suspects?”

“That’s right.”

“I’m surprised he didn’t give you a boat that would
sink as soon as you got to water that was over your head.”

“Let’s stop wasting time. We need to report Lightning
being stolen before whoever took her gets out of the state. Whoever it is has
already had enough time to get out of the county.”

“Are you sure it was stolen, Cy?”

“You think Lightning wandered off on her own?”

“No, but I can’t picture anyone other than the two of
you who’d want to be caught dead in that thing, other than some college girl.”