Murder at Breakfast (16 page)

I
opened my eyes, sure that I was having a nightmare. In a matter of seconds I
realized that I was having a daymare instead. As soon as gravity allowed me to
do so, I pushed myself up off of my bed and plodded over to the window. I
pushed the blind aside and looked out. Sure enough, the rooster was still
asleep. Okay, maybe there wasn’t a rooster in my neighborhood, but I knew that
at 5:30 every respectable rooster on God’s green earth was still catching as
many winks as possible, before he too had to get up much too early and alert
farmers everywhere to do the same. I seldom think of roosters, but that morning
I allowed myself a few seconds to do so. Not being a farm boy, I wasn’t sure
what items were included in a rooster’s daily agenda, but I figured all it had
to do was wake up way too early, then chase hens after he crowed. I would think
he would save the crowing for after he caught some hens, but like I said, I
wasn’t raised on a farm, so I’m not sure.

I
shook my head back into the present, stepped away from the window, wondered
whose idea it was that I arise so early, and then I remembered. Technically it
was Wednesday. To me, it wasn’t really Wednesday until it was daylight, but
then I assume the same guys decided what day it was who decided what season it
was. To me, the season should be spring from March through May, summer from
June through August, fall from September through November, and winter from
December through February, but my guess is that whoever decided the time and
the seasons lived in some different part of the country, probably one of the
frozen people from up north or some strange guy from California. Not someone
from my neck of the woods. Also, more than likely, whoever did it was some
politician. They’re known for messing things up more than anyone. It didn’t
matter. I would have to live with it. Luckily, I don’t have to get up too many
days before the rooster wakes up, and that’s fine with me. God didn’t mean for
people to wake up in the middle of the night.

I
prayed and asked God that the food be worth the trip, that they not run out of
it before I was finished eating, and that the murderer would hasten in my
direction and reveal himself or herself. Well, maybe I didn’t ask God for the
last part, but I hoped it happened.

I
wanted to call Sam, but wasn’t sure if Sam arose before any of God’s creatures,
so I decided to wait until after breakfast. I remembered seeing a phone in Mrs.
Higgins apartment. I would call from there. Maybe calling Sam from there would
allow me to hang up and make an almost instantaneous arrest.

+++

I
left my house a few minutes after God turned the light on, enabling all those
who had to go to work too early to see how to get there. For a change, I was
one of those people.

When
I pulled up in front of Lou’s place, he put his hand to his head, as if he
couldn’t believe that I arrived on time. As long as I don’t have to repeat it
as part of a routine, I can get places early in order to bring a murder
investigation to a conclusion. Okay, part of my motivation was to eat
breakfast, but I wanted to bring the case to a conclusion, too.

I
couldn’t watch Lou as he hastened to the car. He seemed to have more bounce in
his step. Could it be that he had found one of those energy drinks that gives
you pep before needing a nap.  The  word  “nap”  put  a smile on my face. I
wondered if I could take advantage of the bed the murdered woman would no
longer need. I’ve always recommended a good nap after breakfast. And lunch. And
supper.

“What
are you smiling about, Cy? Go out and buy yourself a Wii last night?”

“No,
found someone who’ll steal yours while we’re gone.”

“Just
for that, I won’t tell you the clue of the day.”

“I’m
sorry, Lou. Go ahead.”

I
was sorry, too. I was sorry my friend ever heard about a Wii.

“The
rope, the lead pipe, or the candlestick.”

I
knew where that came from.

“So,
Lou, does it mean that we’re going to solve this thing today, or did Mrs.
Higgins leave us a Clue game to play. I bet I’d be able to solve that one
quicker.”

“Yeah,
just after I do.”

His
remark gave me a few moments to wonder in silence what the clue meant. Surely,
it had some reference to the game Clue, but we knew the victim had been
poisoned, so it wasn’t telling us how she was murdered. Was it? And I doubted
if any of the rooms on the Clue board would tell us anything about where the
murder took place. It didn’t take a mental heavyweight to know that she was
either murdered on the way to breakfast, at breakfast, on her way back to her
apartment, or in her apartment. All that I could see that it left us were the
characters in the game of Clue, and none of those people had the same name as
any of our suspects. As usual, when Lou gives me the clue of the day, I was
just as baffled as I was before he enlightened me.

After
I dropped Lou off the night before I thought about what we would do as we
reenacted the crime, so to speak. Most of the time Lou and I don’t split up. We
tackle things together, even though I do most of the tackling, but this time we
would split up, but not immediately. I turned back to Lou to fill him in on my
plan.

“Lou,
I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not, but lately I’ve been eating more
than you.”

“More
than Godzilla, too.”

“I’m
not the one who changed, Lou, but let’s not discuss that right now. Since I’ve
remained the same stable self I’ve always been, I will continue to do as I have
done. You, on the other hand, will adapt to your new lifestyle.”

“Then,
turn around. I need to go back to the apartment.”

“What
for, Lou? They’ll have something there that you’ll eat.”

“I
wasn’t thinking about that. Are you planning on us holing up in the dead
woman’s apartment all day?”

“Well,
not all day. I mean I plan to go down for lunch and supper unless the murderer
knocks on the door and says, ‘Here’s your poison.’”

“But
other than that, you plan to stay in the apartment?”

“I’m
not sure, but probably. At least that’ll be our base of operations. Why do you
ask?”

“Then,
why don’t we go back to my place. I can pick up my Wii and my Fit board so we
can have something to do.”

Lou’s
swore I caused it by stomping my foot down hard on the gas pedal, but I thought
the word “Wii” caused Lightning to lurch and zoom off down the street. At any
rate, no one made any U-turns to pick up a Wii.

After
sulking for a few moments, Lou opened his mouth and uttered a question that
unnerved me.

“Cy,
what if we get there and the food’s no good. Remember that one place where we
ate?”

Boy
did I remember, and I think at that time I vowed never to eat at any place
again where I was unfamiliar with the food.

“This
time’s different, Lou. If we get there and the food’s no good, I let you hang
around while I go to the Blue Moon to eat.”

“What
about me?”

“Don’t
you remember? This place has fruit and cereal. There’s no way they can ruin
either of them. Besides, it’s that awful stuff you like now.”

“You
mean the stuff that’s good for you, don’t you?”

“That’s
what I said. That awful stuff.”

I
don’t like to inform the enemy before I attack, but this time I had no choice.
At least Margaret Draper and the cook, Martha Carpenter, knew we were coming. I
had to tell them. Otherwise, we might not have been able to get into the
building. At least not in time for breakfast. I remembered that the front door
wasn’t unlocked until 9:00, which is a more reasonable time to get up, but I
felt if I went and knocked at 6:45, everyone would ignore my knock, thinking I
was the nutty woman who lives in the house next door. We pulled into the
parking lot and walked as lively as possible to the front door. The manager was
waiting for us. Once we were inside, she relocked the door.

I
knew Margaret Draper had informed the cook that Lou and I would be there to
eat. I don’t think she had any knowledge of how much one of us eats, but before
we ate I noticed that the warmers were filled to the brim.

Lou
and I waited until the first resident came walking into the dining room before
we headed to the serving table. Contrary to public opinion, I didn’t elbow Miss
Winters out of the way when she stepped up to scoop her food onto her plate.
She smiled and said, “hi” when she entered, and more than likely she wondered
why we were there for breakfast, but she didn’t say anything.

Hilda
Winters sat down at one end of the table. We didn’t know if she was the
murderer, so Lou and I got up together to get our food. True to his new form,
Lou picked Raisin Bran and fresh fruit. I piled everything else as high as I
could without some of it falling off the plate. Well, not those other two
cereals, but I dumped plenty of scrambled eggs, bacon, both kinds of sausage,
and biscuits on my plate, and I was surprised to find that there was gravy to
drown the biscuits, and this gravy looked like gravy, not some poor substitute.
My plan was that between the two of us, we would try everything. I smiled when
I realized that I would do most of the trying.

Lou
and I took our food to the table, and sat down at the other end from Miss
Winters. Then, just in case she was the murderer, we both made a pretense of
forgetting something, left the table, and returned to the buffet line. By the
time we got there, Christine Hunt and Imogene Ingram were standing in the
buffet line. Mrs. Hunt looked up and spotted us.

“Well,
to what do we owe this pleasure?”

“Well,
I’ve heard the food’s good here.”

“So
is the company. Are those two places down at the end of the table where you’re
sitting?”

I
nodded and took off for my seat as I carefully looked at my food to see if any
enhancements were added. Everything looked the same as I had left it, but then
things might have looked the same to Mrs. Higgins, too.

I’m
a cop, and used to being the center of attention, so I didn’t bother to stand
when the two women sat down across from Lou and me. Nor did I look up. I
continued to stare down at my food and shovel it in. I was doing fine until I
almost choked on a large bite of eggs. No, I didn’t accidentally look over and
eat what Lou was eating, but all of a sudden I did feel this bare foot crawling
up my pant leg. I slapped at it, looked up at the woman across from me, and
said, “Naughty, naughty!”

Mrs.
Hunt said, “And I thought you were, too. If you change your mind, you know
where I live.”

Elaine
Jewell showed up shortly after that and seemed about as unhappy to see us as
did all the tenants except Mrs. Hunt. Well, I wasn’t sure about Joanne Moberly.
She seemed to be eyeing Lou. I tried to make casual conversation. In other
words, I talked to the ones at the table about things other than murder, but it
wasn’t a glib gathering.

Everyone
looked surprised when Russell Cochran made his first appearance in the dining
room in a few days. Christine Hunt smiled, and offered him a seat next to her,
but he put his tray next to mine and asked if we had moved in. I replied that
we were only there until the murderer confessed, which seemed to unnerve enough
of the residents that most of them started eating a little faster.

I
had to admit that the food was pretty good, just not quite up to what Rosie
serves me every day. Plus, I feel more at ease around her than I did those at
the dining room table, but then I’ve never suspected Rosie of murdering anyone.

Lou
and I arranged ahead of time that he would leave as soon as the first person
left the table. In order to get even with Lou, I had hoped that Mrs. Hunt would
leave first, and alone, but no such luck. Lou and Miss Winters left within
seconds of each other. I, on the other hand, being of sound mind and body,
planned to remain at the table and eat a second plateful of food with those who
worked there. I didn’t want anyone to think I was discriminating against them.
Besides, I wanted to make up for the puny amount Lou ate. Not only did I plan
to eat my normal amount, but I planned to compliment Miss Carpenter on her
cooking.  

Almost
an hour later, after I had scared two sets of diners, I took the elevator to
the second floor, got off, walked to Mrs. Higgins’s room, and knocked. After
all, Lou and I had only one key, and Lou had the one key. I had no intention of
taking the elevator to the third floor and knocking on Russell Cochran’s door
and asking him if I could use his ladder. I would almost as soon ask Lou if I
could borrow his Wii sometime.

Lou
opened the door, his gun drawn and in his hand. I laughed when I saw it.

“I
was expecting you to be lying on the floor or at least leaning over the table
with your face in a plate of food by now. What’s the matter? No visitors?”

“None
yet. I was afraid your friend might follow me, but I guess she has her sights
on you.”

“Yeah,
she admitted as much after you left. She likes men with meat on their bones.”