Mountain Ash (29 page)

‘And that's why you've always hated me. For being another man's child? Enough to have me find out at the reading of your will?'

Oh heavens, thought Jodie. What had she nearly done, marrying Alex? The same thing could have happened to her baby.

Alex was nodding. ‘Yes. I hated you for that. You took it all. Your mother's attention. My chance to have a child of my own … and now you've taken my wife and my child
again
. You're a bastard. A dirty low-down rotten bastard.'

‘It's you who's the bastard,' said Clem, with vehemence.

‘Stay out of this or you won't get anything either.'

‘I don't fucking want anything from you, McGregor.'

Jodie desperately wished to turn back time.
She
was the one who'd caused this. It was all her fault. She was such a bad, bad person.

Placing Milly on the ground, Jodie put her fingers to her lips, warning her daughter to stay quiet. The red-eyed and
bedraggled child solemnly nodded. Jodie held out her hand and they slunk away. She would not stop until she was in her car and driving back to McCauley's Hill. She needed to decide where to go, because that's exactly what she was going to do. Go. Leave this whole mess that was the McGregor family behind. It was the only thing she could do for them all. Maybe they might mend their differences without her, but while she was around that was never going to happen. She was the catalyst who'd torn the flimsy ties between the Glenevelyn McGregors apart.

And so mother and daughter slipped away. One minute they were there, the next they were gone.

Like a will-o'-the-wisp.

An unmarried mother and her children.

Nate's head was spinning. He couldn't take any more. If he looked at his ‘so-called' father for one minute longer he was going to hit him, and that wouldn't be good. Not with all these people floating around, a crowd who had already got their money's worth from the McGregors today.

He spun round to Jodie and Milly. They weren't there.

They'd gone. Disappeared.

‘She left a few moments ago,' said a quiet voice beside him. Wal grabbed hold of Nate's arm as he staggered sideways. ‘Whoa, mate. You right?' The old man peered into Nate's face, his grizzled brow creasing with concern at the haunted look there.

‘I have to find her,' Nate said. He knew, he just
knew
she was going to run. And this time he'd never find her. She'd make sure of that.

‘I'll go,' said Wal. ‘You need to stay and sort out this mess.'

Nate flung a look over his shoulder. ‘There's nothing to sort out. I don't owe him anything.'

‘What about your mother?'

‘What about her?'

‘Don't you owe her something?' persisted Wal. ‘Perhaps a little respect for the man who did, after all, put a roof over your head?'

‘Fuck him.' Nate could see Wal was opening his mouth to try again. He grabbed the older man's shoulder. ‘Listen, Wal. I love her. And that baby is mine. I won't have it brought up like
I
was, hated for being someone else's child.'

Wal took hold of Nate's arm and removed it from his shoulder. ‘Go then. If you think she's really yours, go.'

Nate went. Like the devil was riding on his shoulder, spurring him on, he ran. Through the crowd now milling around, past the old pink-stone house, out across the dry lawn crumpling under his feet like burned twigs, towards the sheds where he knew Jodie had parked her ute. He skidded around the corner. The ute wasn't there. He swung his gaze towards the road gate. Across the horizon, shimmering in the heat, he could just make out a back brake light as it bounced over a cattle grid and gained the last section of the gravel driveway. He bolted towards his LandCruiser only to find it up on blocks, the oil draining out of the sump. He'd forgotten about that.

His gaze swung wildly around, looking for something,
anything
that would enable him to catch her.

He spotted a four-wheel motorbike. It was blocked in by a tractor towing a fire-fighting cart. It wouldn't be fast enough. Fuck it!

Then he had it. He snatched a halter off a nearby hook and ran to the house paddock to a nickering Warrior. He flung the halter over his horse's head, vaulted onto its back, and took off,
setting Warrior at the paddock gate like it was a mere kid's hurdle. Over the five-bar steel barrier the horse flew. Nate's hat went flying, his suit coat streaming out behind. He had to catch her. He just had to.

Taking a short cut across the wide brown paddocks, they made it to the road fence, just as Jodie's ute disappeared among the trees, on the tarred road to Narree.

She was gone.

She, the baby and little Milly were gone.

Nate flung himself off Warrior and slumped against the solid old red gum corner post. He watched the empty road for what seemed like forever.

By the time he'd pulled himself together and made his way back to the homestead, there was a steady stream of cars heading towards the Narree road. The party was over before it had even started. Clem was waiting for him by the five-bar gate.

‘Nice jump.'

Nate nodded.

‘Didn't think Warrior had it in him.'

‘You'd be surprised,' was Nate's dry reply. He felt gutted. Wrung out. What to do now?

‘You can borrow my ute. It's round the back of the sheds. In the paddock.'

‘That's why I couldn't see it.'

‘You better get going. I'll sort this mess out.'

Nate shook his head. ‘You're a good man, Clem Bailey.'

Clem gave a half laugh. ‘Wouldn't be too quick to say that, mate. You gotta be partners with me yet.'

Nate looked up from where he was un-haltering his horse. Was the man serious? ‘You're the son. You'll get it all eventually. Why would you want to muck in with me? I'm just the bastard.'

‘Yeah, well, as you heard back there, I've got a theory about that, and it doesn't include you.'

Nate's thoughts landed on Alex McGregor. He knew now why his so-called father hated him, but still the man
had
put a roof over his head. ‘He all right?'

Clem looked thoughtful. ‘Probably not, but he's hiding it pretty well.'

Nate gave Warrior one last pat in thanks, then directed a hard look at his mate. ‘You serious about that offer of a vehicle?'

‘Sure. I'll get a lift with Mum. I think she's giving Wal a ride anyway, probably in more ways than one.' The man winked.

‘Mue and Wal?'

Clem nodded, gave a slow grin. Unfortunately it didn't quite reach his eyes. ‘I'll take that.' He put a hand out for the halter. ‘Keys are in the ute.'

Nate tossed him the rope and went to leave, but before he did, he clapped a hand on Clem's shoulder. ‘Thanks, mate. For everything.'

‘It's worth nothing if you don't get her back, so go … just
go
.' Clem grabbed Nate and shoved him towards the sheds. ‘And don't come back.'

Nate turned to stare at him.

‘Don't come back to Glenevelyn at all. I'll move Warrior and what stuff you've got left here. Go home to my place. It's home for
both
of us from now on.'

Nate nodded gratefully. Then he took off at a run.

Jodie was talking to Parnie when she heard the vehicle coming up McCauley's Hill. Milly was bouncing around the horse paddock on Buggsy, her little cries of encouragement causing the pony to flick her ears. Jodie was sure if Buggsy could have rolled her eyes she would have. Such a patient lass. Parnie had given up on getting a pat and wandered off.

Jodie's mind was whizzing all over the place, unable to settle on one plan of action. The baby inside her belly complicated things so much. One thing was for sure, though: she couldn't stay here. She couldn't remain living anywhere near Narree. She'd dumped the man who put so much store by his ‘position' in the community. Her name would be mud in town. Across the whole district. She'd just gone and confirmed what some small-minded people thought about single mothers. Tart, trollop, slut – gold-digger. Jodie felt tears prick. What a disaster her life was. Just when it had been looking so good too.

Oh come on. Really? You think marrying Alex was going to be that great?

In her heart she knew she'd just escaped from the biggest mistake of her life. Well, besides falling in love with Rhys, having Milly, sleeping with Nate, falling pregnant and trying to get married for all the wrong reasons.

What a crappy person she was. Who could ever love the train-smash that was Jodie Joy Ashton?

The answer came past the house right about then.

The driver of the ute obviously saw that Jodie and Milly were further up the hill as the vehicle kept coming. Jodie stood up, squinting her eyes in concern. She hoped it wasn't Alex. She was scared of the man's temper. She had been for months, she was only now prepared to admit.

It was Clem's ute.

Thank God. She sank back down on the edge of the concrete water trough she was using as a seat. She was touched by his concern. Coming to see if they were all right.

She stood up again, plastered a smile on her face and went to meet the ute as it pulled up at right angles to the fence.

It wasn't Clem. It was a square-shouldered man wearing a dark suit.

Shit.

Nate broke the strained silence. ‘You okay?'

Jodie nodded but she was sure her quivering bottom lip was giving her away. Why did he do this to her? Strip away her defences with simply a look.

He nodded towards Milly. ‘She's having fun.'

Jodie turned to look at her daughter, taking the opportunity to suck in her lips and try to pull herself together. She would not show weakness. She couldn't afford to, otherwise she'd jump that fence and fling herself into Nate's arms and never want to leave them. She couldn't do that to him. Or herself, for that matter. Now Glenevelyn wasn't even on the cards for him, there was all the more reason to get on that horse and ride away. No baby ever changed that for a man.

‘Jodie?' His voice was at her shoulder.

She spun back. He was right there beside her. Oh God, don't touch him. Don't do anything to encourage him. Don't … don't …
don't
…

He reached for her. She moved back, and held up her hands. ‘No, Nate. No, please don't touch me.'

‘But why? We can be together now. He's never going to forgive either of us, but that doesn't matter. You can come with me. We can go someplace and be together. I've got a little money from my mother.'

‘Don't, Nate.' She moved further away from him. ‘I'm not going anywhere with you. Your father –'

‘He's not my fucking father!'

She took a deep breath. ‘Okay, whatever – Alex, then. You and he have to sort this out. You're family, or you may as well be.'

‘We have nothing more to say to each other.'

Oh God, she had so screwed this up. She tried again. ‘But, Nate, you have to try. Wouldn't your mother want you to?'

Nate walked away towards the fence, scuffed his hair. ‘The baby's mine, isn't it?'

‘Oh, Nate. Did you even have to ask?'

‘Of course I had to fucking well ask!' All his pent-up anger and frustration exploded. ‘One minute you're with me. The next you're with my father who's not my father. Then you're pregnant. What am I supposed to think?'

Now Jodie started to feel anger welling herself. How dare he insinuate she'd slept with someone else? ‘Of course the baby is yours, Nathaniel McGregor, but that doesn't make the slightest difference in the world.'

‘We'll get married –'

Oh no. Enough of McGregors telling her what she was going to do. ‘You're not listening, Nate. I am not marrying or being with anyone for the wrong reasons.'

‘But –'

‘There are no buts, Nate.' Jodie folded her arms to stop herself from crossing the distance between them. ‘Milly and I will be fine on our own.'

‘But the bab–'

‘We don't need you here. Please go.'

‘Hey, Nate,' cried Milly from behind them, ‘look at Buggsy and me. We're flying!'

Both Nate and Jodie swung round to see the little girl, with blonde hair trailing out behind her, put her pony at a small jump in the paddock and sail through the air. Once she'd landed she trotted over to the fence near the adults. Flushed with pleasure at her success, the child said, ‘It wasn't as high as your jump back at the farm today. That was pretty cool.'

Jodie glanced at Nate.

‘You saw that?' said Nate to her daughter.

‘Yeah. I sure did. I told Mum, too.'

But she'd kept driving. Her fear so strong, it overrode anything but the need to escape. She wasn't going to risk being left literally holding the baby like she had been all those years ago in Augathella. It was really hard to go it alone, but it was even worse to have to pick up the pieces of your heart after a cowboy rode out of your life without a backwards glance. To hear those words slung over his shoulder, ‘I don't want to be with you any more.' All those feelings of grief, vulnerability, absolute despair. Having to start all over again with nothing but a suitcase of clothes, a few dollars in your pocket and a defenceless, totally dependent baby in your arms. Not knowing where to go or what to do next.

She had to do everything within her power to protect herself and her children from that.

But would Nathaniel McGregor leave her?

Memories of a conversation at Riverton flooded her mind.

It gets boring doing the same thing year in, year out … I don't do staying in one place well … Get an itch to get back on the road … Home isn't a definitive place for me.