Moscow Machination (26 page)

Camp David, Temperature:
-39  

The
President and his Chief of Staff were seated in front of a cozy fire.

“POTUS…”

“Stop
saying POTUS in my presence.”

“Sorry
Sir. Every country is giving something to the Russians in exchange for good
weather… at least stable weather,” Cam Emmanuel the Chief of Staff was
explaining the new economics of the global economy.

            “So… what do we
have?”

“Sir,
whatever we have, was made for us by the Chinese… we don’t really have anything.”

“Nothing?
Come on Cam, think it over… alcohol… vodka… I bet our rednecks aren’t sitting
idle. Round’em up, confiscate their rum. Do I have to spell it out?”

“Sir, BTW
the south wants to secede.”

“Again?”

“Yeah,
again… also, since the Russians tilted us to the North Pole, the South isn’t in
the south anymore. So it’s considered offensive to call someone a southerner.”

“Whaaat? PC
culture on steroids. This is anarchy Cam.”

The Chief
of Staff shrugged.

“Fine.
What about our European allies… perhaps Germany could spare some beer?”

“Umm yeah…
the German Chancellor is bffs with Petrova.”

The
President shook his head in exasperation, “Well don’t we produce anything anymore
in this great nation of ours?”

“Off the
top of my head… not much. I mean we got wheat and bread and bacon… eggs too.
But the Russians don’t want any of that. Suddenly they have a surplus of
everything.”

“Come on, there must be something… think.”

“We did
have a lot of weed… but…”

“But?”

“When the
shit rotated, our people thought it was the apocalypse… and someone suggested
that it would be cool to ride out the apocalypse on a high…”

“Fucking colleges… fucking liberals… absolutely
irresponsible.”

“Oh no… it wasn’t the college kids, Sir.”

“Who was it?”

“A predecessor…”

The
President remained silent for a while. Cam poured out some whisky from the
strategic reserves.

“Hey if
Kansas City is the North Pole… then every direction from there is south… right?”

Cam was stuck… was it going to be another rant? “Yes,
of course Mr. President.”

“That
means we are all in the south… we are ALL southerners… everybody outside of
Kansas City is a southerner… catch my drift?”

The End

Thanks for
making it all the way to the end. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did
writing this… this thing. Insults, comments, brain farts, etc. are all welcome
at
[email protected]

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possible, please do leave a review.

Thanks –
Ian.