Morgan's Child (30 page)

Pearl is old enough to swing?
she thought to herself, slowing the car to watch the small blue swing sway in the breeze. She tried to imagine Pearl in it, which was impossible. Pearl's legs would be too short, and surely such a swing wouldn't be comfortable, would it?

Pearl was almost five months old. What did five-month-old babies do? Did they eat a lot of solids? Did they crawl?

Kate had slowed the car almost to a stop and was staring at the house, wondering what the occupants were doing. Not that she wanted to see them—she had no intention of that. She was curious, that was all. Curious, and—

And lonely. She missed them. Or did she merely miss the happiness of their life together?

"Kate?"

In her surprise, Kate almost hit the accelerator instead of the brake. Her head whipped around to see Morgan approaching the car from behind. He was pushing a stroller and in it sat Pearl, wearing a sunny yellow suit with a peaked cap. But why was Morgan here? He should have been at work at this time of the afternoon.

An eternity passed in those few seconds. Morgan looked unsure of himself, and Kate felt like sinking through the floorboard of the car.

"Kate, please come in. Please." Morgan's voice held a quiet urgency. Pearl gazed up at her with big blue eyes, eyes as blue as Morgan's, her mouth hanging open and drooling. When Kate looked at her, Pearl chortled and kicked her feet into the air.

"Please?" Morgan said as he opened the car door.

Kate stood up, uncertain of what she should say. "I—" she started, but there were no words to describe how she felt. Looking at Morgan, seeing him for the first time in three months, she was overwhelmed by a sense of
déjà vu
and caught up in a time warp where she and Morgan and Pearl were once again a family—or playing at being a family, which was hardly the same thing.

She lifted her shoulders and let them fall. "Pearl is—so big," she said helplessly.

Morgan reached down and lifted the baby out of the stroller. Pearl's pacifier fell on the ground, and Kate reached down to pick it up at the same time as Morgan. When they stood up, she and Morgan bumped heads.

"Sorry," they both said at the same time, and then they laughed self-consciously.

Morgan jounced Pearl expertly. "We've been for our walk," he said, "and now we're going in. It's time for Pearl's nap."

"She still sleeps a lot?" Kate asked, following Morgan up the path to the door, thinking that this was an inane thing to ask but unable to think of anything else.

"She even sleeps through the night," he said proudly, holding the door for Kate. "And guess what? I'm teaching her to play pat-a-cake."

"That's nice," Kate said. She walked around several boxes labeled Xmas Ornaments. The sight of them made her feel pensive because she knew she would be utterly alone for the holidays.

"I'll put her in bed while you get yourself something to drink," Morgan said over his shoulder.

Kate wanted to watch him put Pearl in her crib. Fleetingly she wished Morgan had invited her. Under the circumstances, however, she could understand why he hadn't.

Kate stared for a moment at the dirty pacifier in her hands before carefully setting it on the coffee table. She went to the bar and poured a glass of ginger ale for herself before mixing Morgan his favorite Scotch and water. When he came back, he said, "Pearl will fuss a little until she settles down, but then she'll go right to sleep."

"You sound like an experienced hand at this," Kate said after Morgan sat down across from her.

"I didn't hire a nanny," he said. "I've been staying home and taking care of Pearl myself."

Kate stared. "What about your business?"

"I set up one of the extra bedrooms as an office with a computer, a fax machine, the whole works. Lavinia comes over a couple times a week, and I keep in close touch by phone. It's not easy, but Pearl needs me," he said.

"I never expected you to jump into this fatherhood bit with both feet," Kate said slowly.

Morgan smiled a wry smile. "Neither did I, believe me. Only I wouldn't have it any other way. I was supposed to go to England in the fall—remember? When it was time to go, I found I couldn't leave Pearl. I would have missed her too much. Do you know she does something new every day?"

"Amazing," Kate said.

"How about you, Kate? Are you happy?"

"Reasonably so," she said, avoiding his eyes.

"Your job is as you expected?"

"Yes. And I've rented a nice house, I have a group of friends, and—" She paused. She couldn't go on lying. "And I hate all of it," she finished, meeting his eyes bleakly.

"What went wrong?" he asked in a low tone.

She set her glass on the coffee table and walked to the wide window. "I don't know," she said in a troubled voice. She twisted Morgan's wedding ring around and around on her finger.

He approached her, his footsteps silent on the thick carpet.

"I think I do," he said quietly.

She didn't speak, and she didn't look at him. Their history was so deep and so complicated. Their love—if that's what it had been—had strangled on its own problems. She didn't want to talk about regrets. It was better to let it go and slough off her past life like an old skin.

"You miss us," Morgan said. He turned her to face him, his eyes searching her face. "Don't you?"

Her heart beat rapidly in her chest, and she forced herself to remain calm. She didn't trust herself to answer because she was haunted by the specter of what might have been if only the circumstances had been different. Of course, if the circumstances had been different, they might never have met at all.

"Kate," Morgan said as if reading her thoughts, "what we had together was wonderful, and I don't regret any of it. I never will."

She felt the unraveling of her defenses as he gazed deep into her eyes. Then, without knowing quite how it happened, she was in his arms, her face crushed against his neck, his heart beating in her ears.

"Kate, oh, Kate, you should have known you couldn't leave us behind. You're part of us, of Pearl and me, part of our lives."

Kate felt dampness on her cheeks and realized that she was crying. She tried to wipe the tears away, but Morgan beat her to it, kissing the tears one by one.

"I thought it would be all right once I got to Maine," she said, sobbing, "but it wasn't. Oh, Morgan, I thought I was incapable of loving anyone or of being loved. Before, when I was engaged to Mitch, I felt betrayed when he faked the research results. I was outraged and angry."

"That has nothing to do with us."

"It does, because after I began to love you, I didn't trust you, and all my worst nightmares came true when I found out that you'd hidden Saldone's investigation of me. In my mind you'd done almost the same thing Mitch did," she said.

"Keeping Tony's information to myself was stupid and ill-advised. I thought I could use my money and influence to help you, Kate, but I realized after I'd done it that all I'd accomplished was to dig my own hole deeper. I would have done everything in my power to make you stay. I love you, Kate. You've known that for a long time," he said.

"And I love you. I've known
that
for a long time, too, only I couldn't admit it. Oh, Morgan, can you ever forgive me?"

He cradled her close. "We both have things to forgive, I think. Won't you come back? And make this a family Christmas for Pearl and you and me?"

She wound her arms around his neck, glorying in the length of his body pressed against hers. "I
am
back, Morgan," she said. "I love you and Pearl so much, and she's my responsibility. I brought her into the world, gave her life, and I can't just
leave
her the way my mother left me or the way Courtney ran out on her. Didn't you tell me that Rhetts always live up to their responsibilities?"

"Always," he said, kissing the tip of her nose. "And you, my darling Kate, are still a Rhett, legally by marriage."

"I love you, Morgan," she said, getting a feel for the words.

His lips brushed against her hair. "This day is a new beginning for both of us," he said.

"For all three of us," Kate said, smiling through her tears. "Merry Christmas, Morgan."

"Merry Christmas," he said, and then he held her as though he would never let her go.

And he wouldn't, because they were a family now. But then, maybe they always had been.

"I think I hear our daughter," he said.

"Me too. Maybe we should check on her," said Kate.

"You just want to lure me into the bedroom wing," he said, leaning back to look at her with a glint of humor in his eyes.

"And you're eager to take me up on it," she said, smiling at him.

"Darling Kate," he said, and he lowered his lips to hers.

Epilogue

"Happy birthday, dear Pearl, happy birthday to you," they all sang, and Pearl, her paper party crown slipping down over one eye, plunged both fists into her birthday cake. Kate, foreseeing this development, had snatched the one candle away barely in time.

"Who will blow out the candle?" she asked.

"You, and make a wish on Pearl's behalf," Morgan told her, curving an arm around her shoulders.

Kate thought about the things she could wish for her child. A happy life? No, Pearl had never known anything else. A family who loved her? No, this gathering of the Rhetts and Dumonts proved that Pearl had that in abundance. In fact, Christopher and Melissa were even now encouraging Pearl's tentative steps in the direction of her presents piled high at the end of the living room.

"Blow the candle out, Kate, or it will burn your fingers!" Joanna warned.

Kate wished and blew, and the flame went out. Morgan, Charlie and Joanna clapped, and Kate went to help Pearl open her gifts.

That night, when they were alone in their darkened bedroom, watching the reactivated beam of Yaupon Light in the distance, Morgan said, "What did you wish for Pearl today? I saw the expression on your face, and you looked so happy."

Kate stood behind him and slid her arms around his waist, resting her head on one of his broad shoulders. She wore only a lace nightgown, sheer and held up by two straps of narrow satin ribbon.

"Guess," she said.

"Well, was the wish for Pearl or for yourself?"

She lifted her head and frowned at him. "It wouldn't be fair to wish for something for myself on Pearl's birthday, although in a way it was for me, I suppose. Anyway, I have everything I ever wanted. The Marc Theroux Fellowship and the chance to direct meaningful research, a handsome husband who adores me, and a darling little daughter. No, I'd say this wish was for something Pearl needs."

"I give up. That child has everything any kid could want."

He turned around to take her in his arms, and she smiled up at him.

"She doesn't," Kate said as she began to unbutton Morgan's shirt, "have a brother or sister."

"That's true. Does she need one?"

"Most definitely. I don't want her to grow up a lonely only child as I was."

"I didn't think you were too eager to repeat the childbirth experience," he said, kissing her temple.

"Actually, I'd rather have babies the way oysters do. It's a whole lot easier," she said.

"But it's much more fun to fertilize eggs the way people do, and I missed that the first time around."

"Then," Kate said, "perhaps we should try it as soon as possible."

Morgan laughed. "Are you sure you haven't been eating oysters? They're well-known for their aphrodisiac qualities, you know," he said.

"I haven't noticed that I've needed an aphrodisiac," Kate said as he slowly untied the ribbons at her shoulders. "And neither," she said pointedly as the nightgown rippled to the floor, "have you."

Morgan laughed again, and then, by the light of the lighthouse, he swept her off her feet and took her to bed.

The End