Authors: Jean S. MacLeod
Surprise and incredulity were both mirrored in Katherine’s eyes, and suddenly she found herself wishing that Coralie hadn’t told her about the wonderful chance she had been offered in Rome, about the amazing, continuing success of her career which seemed to be bounding forward by the hour. It made her decision about Sandy seem far too easy, her desire to do what was right for him ring slightly hollow even as she spoke.
‘You’re not saying very much,’ Coralie challenged, sipping her coffee. ‘Perhaps you don’t believe what I’ve just said?’
‘I want to believe you, Coralie, and I think I can understand how difficult it’s been for you to decide,’ Katherine said with genuine sympathy, ‘but it would do more damage if you eventually went back on your word.’
‘I’m not likely to do that.’ Coralie drew a deep breath. ‘I’ve thought everything out in the minutest detail, and even if I had Sandy I couldn’t trail him all over the world in pursuit of my career. I had a decision to make. A terrible decision,’ she added, her eyes suddenly beseeching in their evident sincerity about that, at least. ‘It wasn’t easy.’
Katherine’s heart was suddenly touched by pity.
‘I’m sure it wasn’t,’ she said, ‘and I don’t think Fergus or Emma will ever want to shut you out completely. There’ll always be room for you in Sandy’s life.’
‘You speak of them together.’ The blue eyes were sharply inquisitive. ‘Will Fergus marry Emma?’
‘Eventually, I think. They have so much in common,’ Katherine pointed out.
Coralie nodded.
‘That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?’ she said. ‘Having things in common, not wanting to rush off at a tangent to live your own life the way you want to. It’s what’s known as “togetherness” in the modern jargon, isn’t it? Being a single unit instead of two individual personalities pulling in the opposite direction all the time. Fergus and I never had it,’ she concluded. ‘We should never have married.’
Katherine crossed to her side, her coffee mug still in her hand.
‘It isn’t easy,’ she said, ‘working all these things out, and when you’re in love it doesn’t seem to matter.’
‘I thought I was in love in the beginning,’ Coralie mused, ‘until my life began to seem empty. It seemed empty long before Sandy was born, but he was the answer for a while, and then, after the accident, I knew. I could see all my future stretching before me with nothing done, and I couldn’t bear to look at Fergus tied to a wheelchair for the rest of our lives together. You think that despicable, don’t you, but it was how it was. I was twenty-four years of age and my life was over.’
‘It needn’t have been,’ Katherine said quietly, ‘but even that has to be a shared decision. How long will you stay in Edinburgh?’ she asked to dispel the tension between them.
‘For two weeks this time.’ Coralie hesitated. ‘Maybe I could see you once you’re settled in somewhere,’ she added unexpectedly. ‘We’ll both be tackling something new.’ The plea was for companionship and understanding while she needed it.
‘You’ll be far too busy,’ Katherine pointed out, ‘once you get fully into your stride.’
‘Perhaps you’re right.’ Coralie was still gazing out of the window. ‘Are you expecting a visitor?’ she asked.
‘No.’ Katherine turned to look through the window. ‘It will be for one of the other flats.’
A taxi had pulled up at the kerbside and a tall man in a tweed suit was getting out.
‘It’s Charles!’ Coralie exclaimed.
Katherine stood looking down into Heriot Row, every pulse in her body throbbing as she watched the man she loved paying off the taxi before he walked briskly across the pavement towards the main door. Charles! Her heart cried wildly. Charles, why have you come?
Coralie moved at her elbow, making her realise how awkward the situation could prove to be. If Charles found Coralie visiting her he would surely think that they were still the best of friends.
Coralie laughed at her obvious concern.
‘What do you want me to do?’ she asked in her usual flippant manner. ‘Hide in a convenient wardrobe?’
Katherine moved towards the door as the street bell rang.
‘There’s no need for anything so dramatic,’ she said. ‘Charles may only be coming to take away the paintings.’
In spite of her outward calm her hand was shaking as she lifted the receiver.
‘May I come up?’ Charles asked.
Her heart sank a little as she pressed the door release.
‘Yes, please do,’ she said.
Going through the hall to open the door she could not think what to say to him. To try to explain away Coralie’s visit would only be to suggest that it mattered to him, and she didn’t think it did, except perhaps where Sandy and Fergus were concerned. He had already made his decision about Coralie and also about herself, although he had been kind about the flat.
When she opened the door he looked immediately at the stacked paintings propped against the wall and her suitcase standing beside them, ready for her departure.
‘Why did you change your mind about coming to Glassary?’ he asked. ‘You can’t possibly have got another job right away.’
She swallowed hard.
‘Edinburgh seemed the best place to look for one,’ she said, following him into the living-room where Coralie was waiting.
‘Hullo!’ she greeted him lightly. ‘Fancy our meeting! How are you, Charles, after all this time? You look just the same,’ she ran on, not at all abashed by the situation, ‘but that’s probably the glen’s amazing air!’
For a moment Charles looked angry.
‘You didn’t find it particularly invigorating while you lived there,’ he reminded her, ‘but that’s water under the bridge now. I’m surprised to see you in Edinburgh,’ he admitted.
‘It isn’t all that odd,’ she said. ‘I’ve an assignment at the Festival as a stage designer which has to be finished by June and then I’m going on to Rome. I seem to have the Midas touch at the moment,’ she smiled, ‘so I hope it will last.’ She put her empty mug down on the table between them. ‘Kate and I were discussing the future,’ she added deliberately, ‘so I’ll leave her to tell you all about it, because I really must go. I have a heavy date for lunch and a meeting with a Festival V.I.P. afterwards.’
Charles stood aside for her to pass.
‘I hope you’ll be successful in your new career,’ he said stiffly.
Katherine went to the flat door with Coralie.
‘Will you settle in Rome?’ she asked.
‘Good heavens, no!’ Coralie’s eyes were shining as she looked into the future. ‘Rome will only be the beginning. If I do well there I’ll be able to establish an international reputation and then it will be back to New York to work there for a year or two or even to Los Angeles. I’d like to work in L.A. sooner or later,’ she added thoughtfully. ‘It’s Mecca as far as I’m concerned.’
The hardness which Katherine had glimpsed in her before was more obvious now and she was eager to get away.
‘Must dash!’ she said. ‘Good luck with Charles!’
She had no idea of the havoc she had wrought, of the web of deceit she had spun reaching out to entangle other people’s lives, and as she banged the outside door behind her Katherine could almost hear her laughter echoing up the staircase.
Charles was washing up the mugs in the kitchen.
‘I didn’t—invite Coralie to come,’ she said, standing just inside the door. ‘She came because she said she had to speak to somebody and she knew Emma and I had been staying here because she asked me when she came to the gallery.’
He turned slowly, something in his expression which she could not fathom.
‘I’m not interested in Coralie’s reasons for being here, Kate,’ he said. ‘I came because I wanted to know what you’re going to do.’
‘I’m—looking for a job.’
He followed her through to the living-room.
‘Is that what you really want?’
She had never heard him speak so softly before.
‘It’s what I must do.’
Katherine busied herself with the ridiculous non-essentials of rearranging the cushions on the settee and flicking imaginary dust from the highly-polished surface of the tables while he looked about him at the changes she had made in a room which had once been austere, smiling a little when he saw the flowers in the kitchen bowl which was all she could find.
‘I’ve made a start,’ she said breathlessly, indicating the copy of
The Scotsman
which lay folded on the side table. ‘There are plenty of situations vacant when you look for them and I’ve phoned my name in to an agency.’
‘Even though a job as a secretary may be the very last thing you want?’ She felt his hands strong on her shoulders as he turned her round to face him. ‘Look at me, Kate,’ he commanded. ‘Almost the last time I saw you you said you were in love.’
As the hot colour of embarrassment flooded into her cheeks she could no longer look away from his demanding eyes.
‘I was angry—’ she began.
‘Do you have to be angry to say you love me?’ His tone was slightly amused as he let his arms slip round her, drawing her strongly towards him. ‘Say it again, Kate,’ he commanded, ‘so that I can be sure it’s true.’
She stood quite still, hardly believing that all this was really happening, having to convince herself that Charles was asking for her love instead of telling her to go. Then, because she hadn’t answered him, he swept her into his arms, kissing her with a passion which seemed to shake him to the foundations of his being. No cold, disdainful kisses these, but kisses full of promise and hope.
‘I thought you’d never believe me about Coralie,’ she whispered, at last. ‘I thought you’d never want to see me again.’
He held her close.
‘I don’t think we need to worry about Coralie any more,’ he said, his lips close against her hair. ‘It didn’t take me long after you came to Glassary to realise how different you were, though I’d misjudged you at first. There was nothing hard about you, although you had every right to tell me what you thought about me. I behaved pretty badly,’ he admitted, ‘but Sandy means a lot to us at Glassary. We knew Coralie would cheat again when she felt like it, but I was determined to bring Sandy back for my brother’s sake. I owe Fergus my life, you see. He wouldn’t be like he is now if he hadn’t pulled me out of a blazing plane and been caught in the wreckage as it blew up.’ His arms tightened as his thoughts slid into the past. ‘I thought he was in love with you when you first came to the glen, and that seemed to be the answer to a good many things until that day on the moor when we were caught by the mist. I knew then that I wanted you more than anything in the world, only there was Fergus. You were kind and helpful and he could so easily have fallen in love after all he’d been through, so it was up to me to stand aside.’
‘He’d fallen in love long before that,’ Katherine whispered. ‘Didn’t you know about Emma?’
He kissed her forehead.
‘It’s funny how we all took Emma for granted,’ he said. ‘She’s always been “the girl next door” and it’s amazing how blind you can be when you try to convince yourself that you’re not interested in love.’ He looked over her head at the tidy room. ‘I suppose someone has told you about Deirdre?’ he asked.
‘I found her photograph,’ Katherine admitted, stirring in his arms. ‘It was in one of the bedroom drawers. Afterwards I wondered why you’d kept it hidden away there for so long.’
‘To remind me,’ he said harshly. ‘I spent three years regretting Deirdre, wishing we’d never met yet half believing I was still in love with her. Then, when I knew there were no scars left, I hung on to her portrait as a reminder of how treacherous a woman could be.’
She held him back from her a little.
‘I knew you thought that when we first met,’ she told him gently. ‘There was a guarded look about you, that vague contempt, but it wasn’t fair to judge everyone by a first disappointment. It was natural enough, I suppose,’ she conceded, ‘when you found I had taken Sandy because you had only Coralie and Deirdre to judge me by, but now—but now all that doesn’t matter! I can’t believe I’m here in your arms and we’ve found each other at last!’
‘For good,’ he said tenderly. ‘Coralie phoned Fergus yesterday, by the way,’ he added as he led her through the hall towards the flat door, ‘offering to abide by the letter of the law. If she sees Sandy occasionally she’ll be content and she’ll have a successful career into the bargain,’ he added dryly.
‘She came here to say much the same thing to me,’ Katherine admitted. ‘Only she was really concerned about the decision she’d made. She was still not convinced that it was the right one and she was almost in tears because she wasn’t sure. She had tried to work it out, but I think she knew in the end that her career had to come first.’
‘I wouldn’t be surprised if she knew that in the beginning,’ Charles said uncharitably. ‘She made Fergus’s life a veritable hell with her indecisions and after Sandy was born she didn’t want to know.’
‘She loved him,’ Katherine protested. ‘She must have loved her own child.’
‘One part of her may have done, but it wasn’t her major concern,’ he decided. ‘She was obsessed by success even before she married Fergus, but it was love at first sight as far as he was concerned and they married within a month of meeting each other. Then, when Sandy was born, Coralie found out what she’d done. She’d sold her precious freedom down the river, and that was more than she could take. She’s tremendously talented—I’m not arguing against that—but she could have seen Fergus through his particular ordeal before she went off to indulge herself elsewhere.’
‘I wish it could have worked out better for you all.’ They had halted beside the stack of unsold paintings. ‘The exhibition has been a—sort of compensation for Fergus, hasn’t it? And Emma has done well, too.’
‘She’s elated in her own quiet way,’ Charles agreed.
‘Coralie saw them together at the gallery when Fergus came back there with Sandy from the Zoo. I think that’s what finally sealed her decision,’ Katherine said. ‘She saw him happy and contented, a normal little boy in a caring atmosphere where he could grow up without complications. It must have been very difficult for her, Charles, and it’s something we have to understand.’
‘It’s going to take me quite a while,’ he admitted, ‘but meantime I have to get this lot back to Glassary.’ He looked down at the paintings. ‘Where have you left your car?’