Moon Tortured (Sky Brooks Series Book 1) (49 page)

Her voice held a level of sorrow that made me feel a little guilt for all my thoughts and feelings, but it quickly turned to anger. Why should I feel guilty? I didn’t owe her anything!

“Are you a monster?” she asked me.

I didn’t know how to answer that. Once a month, I turned into an animal that I failed to identify with. A monster I may not be, but I had no idea what I was. Daily, I battled with a desire to be wholly human—something that would never be attainable. What did she expect from me? Was I supposed to change a belief that I have held for eight years overnight?

“I’ve been in a house full of were-animals, some I’ve grown fond of, others I downright dislike, but not one of them I would consider a monster. I can never say that I will truly embrace the animal that dwells in me, but I don’t consider myself a monster. This life I offer to you with its fair share of problems, flaws and insecurities.”

There was another uncomfortable silence. I was quickly getting tired of that. “Josh is going to force me from you. You have to wake up and you need to do it now.”

“Are you coming?”

“If you don’t wake up now, I won’t have that option,” she cautioned, her voice remaining a soothing timbre in my head.

“Are you coming?” I repeated. It was important that she remained with me because she was the only link I had to my mother. I very much wanted to be connected.

“Don’t make it a decision of regret,” she stated.

I opened my eyes to a dim overhead light, lying on an uncomfortable hospital bed in Dr. Baker’s office. He shifted forward, placing his face inches from mine, staring at me in sheer bewilderment. He moved just enough to allow me to sit up. Restricted by IV lines, I began to pull at them, trying to free myself. He shook his head, moved my hands away and unhooked them.

My lips were rough like gravel and my throat was so dry that it hurt every time I swallowed. It was hard to speak. “Thirsty,” I mumbled, eying the brace on my ankle, while ignoring the were-animals standing around gawking at me.

I quickly emptied the glass of water Dr. Baker handed me. I tried to move my ankle that was restricted in the brace.

“You really did a number on it. Two breaks. It should be healed by now,” he stated, taking it off. I moved my ankle back and forth. It felt stiff, but it wasn’t painful.

“How long have I been out?” I asked. My joints creaked as though they hadn’t moved in weeks.

“You were clinically dead for three minutes,” he acknowledged, shining a bright light in my eyes. He had me follow the light a few times.

“Two lives down. Do I have seven more?” I stated with forced smile to hide the anxiety.

“Not likely, you barely held on to this one. But you did much better than I anticipated,”

Dr. Baker stated solemnly, his face obscured by a frown. “You, little wolf, are simply amazing,” he admitted in a flat tone.

“Which amazing?” I asked, amused.

He chuckled. “She’s fine. I am done here,” he stated, turning to Sebastian. “She’s your problem now,” he continued as he walked out the door.

Ethan stood in the corner; his eyes wavered, barely making contact with mine. When I didn’t avert my eyes from him, they met mine with his full intensity. Ethan was always hard to read. Before, he seemed to hold remorse, but now he held none.

“You killed me,” I accused, looking directly at him. His response: a cold distant stare.

“He had to,” Josh responded coolly, walking into the room. “Your bond with the gem could not be broken. You wouldn’t let us destroy it—”

“—so you destroyed me," I interjected in a low voice.

“Something like that,” he shrugged. “It was quite the task,” he continued. “I had this made especially for you.” He handed me the odd-colored knife that Ethan had used on me. The blade with a lilac hue was made from Trincet. A knife made for a pleasant death.

“Did you know that would happen?” I asked Josh.

“Ethan suspected it. So we were prepared for the worst-case scenario. It’s hard to kill a were-animal in any other manner but brutally. We tried to make it as gentle as possible. We stopped your heart and prevented the osinine from reviving it so that you would die,” he informed me.

“If you knew that would happen, why did you give me the gem,” I asked.

With a pensive look on his face, he shot furtive glances in his brother’s direction, “We needed to see how strong the connection was between you and it,” He admitted.

It wasn’t the things that he said that resonated with me but what he left unsaid. They wanted to see if I could control it and wield its power for my own use. The Gem of Levage meant a great deal not only to the vampires, but I suspected it meant a great deal to the were-animals as well. However, it controlled me to the point that I was no use to them; so they severed the bond.

He stepped closer, his voice dropped to a low serious tone. “It’s good that you died. All those who have been bound to you think you no longer exist. Neither Caleb nor Ethos can sense your presence. Now you are free of all bindings, including mine,” he stated cautiously.

“You were dead for three minutes but out for four days. Where were you?” Ethan asked brusquely, pushing himself up from the wall, studying me. “Jeremy said you were alive but in a state that you refused to leave.”

I glanced at him briefly, “Sleep, I guess.” I muttered.

Josh looked at Ethan, Sebastian and Steven, giving them an expectant look before directing his gaze to the door. Reluctantly, they complied. Sebastian lingered longer, watching me for a long time before directing his attention to Josh. Josh nodded once, and whatever it meant, it was enough to ease Sebastian’s troubled mind. He backed out, keeping a sharp gaze on me before he disappeared from the room.

Josh crossed his arm over his chest; it seemed to be his turn to study me, and he did so with clinical intensity. “You never asked Maya to leave, and I am confident you heard my request.”

I nodded once waiting for his response. Waiting for him to say something—anything. To tell me it was the wisest thing I had done or essentially the most foolish. The indecipherable and intense impregnated silence made me think the latter.

His lips curved into a limpid half-smile; content, amused eyes stared back at me. “Good,” he finally stated.

I told Josh everything. I didn’t have anyone else to share this information with. He knew far more than I could ever hope to about her life, magic and this world. “I was with her,” I admitted. “I spoke to her.”

“And still, you allowed her to remain.” He seemed surprised.

“She’s been part of my life for twenty three years. She hasn’t bothered me, so why should I bother her.” I stated with a half-smile.

Josh remained silent, his eyes intense with avid curiosity as he waited for me to continue. “She was murdered.”

His mood became uncharacteristically withdrawn. He didn’t seem surprised by the information as though it were something he already knew.

“I am curious about her. I need to know about the people who hosted her and the horrors she lived through. I have to know what powers she possessed that would cause someone to kill a child,” I stated in low voice, periodically meeting his intrigued gaze. “But I don’t know where to start. I need your help?”

Josh smiled and attempted to look innocuous, but I could see the hunger in his eyes and the thirst for power just shy of his grasp. He hid it well. With all that I had been through, my senses and observations were keener, my perception heightened. Before I came to the retreat, I would have missed it. Josh had a thirst for power and knowledge but I couldn’t determine if it were his strength or a weakness. Did he crave it to be better at his job, to be feared, or just to satisfy a lust for power. I didn’t have an answer, yet I still trusted him.

He pondered over the request for some time. After careful consideration, he smiled. “I guess we can barter. We explore your effect on magic, and I will agree to help you,” he stated

“Why is the idea of me exploring my abilities so important to you?” I inquired pensively.

His smile dimmed. “You are such the cynical woman.” I tracked his movements, attempting to interpret them as I waited patiently for an answer.

“Would it make you feel better if my motives were selfish?” he asked.

I considered the question thoroughly. “Yes, it would. I don’t believe you are selfish or would do anything that would hurt me, but you are a magic junkie. Your recent discovery of my abilities is your new fix. You seem to crave something in it and I don’t know what.”

He grinned ruefully, taking a long time to respond. “I want to learn how to use your ability to control dark magic,” he finally admitted.

Just as I figured, although he had substantial magical ability, he didn’t like feeling powerless when it came to other forms of magic. That is when the similarities between him and his brother were the most apparent. Control was something they desired to a fault and without apology.

Frowning at his proposal, I considered if it was worth it. I hated dark magic and didn’t want any part of it. But Josh had proven himself to be a good source, and I trusted him. Was it worth the trade? I considered things for a long time, and Josh was patient as I decided. “Fine. But you unlock any doors to things I don’t like, you’d better very well know how to close them. If you break me, you damn well better be able to fix me,” I stated firmly. “If Ethos or anyone else of his sort comes for me, then you need to be the one that answers. I trust you because you’ve earned it, but if you … ”

“Skylar, I give you my word that I won’t put you in direct danger. Not to say we may not have some turbulent moments because we are about to embark on unexplored grounds, but your safety will always be my first priority. That is a promise I will never break.” He sighed wistfully. “I wish you knew the possibilities; then you would be just as curious and interested.”

I doubted that sincerely. I didn’t care about the possibilities when it came to dark magic. I hated the idea and everything about it. Being bound to it or the source of it didn’t make me want to do a happy dance. But magic gave me power that was far better than what was offered by turning into a four-legged animal when the moon called. Superstrength hadn’t worked in my favor so far. In fact, the only time I was useful was when I used magic.

“If you are going to experiment with me and use me for dark magic, then it’s only fair that you share your magic with me and teach me to use it. Will you agree to that?” I suggested.

His smile widened as he extended his hand to me. I shook it.

CHAPTER 17

The next day, I stood in the library between Josh and Ethan with the Gem of Levage laying on the table and the Symbols of Death next to it. When I asked Josh if I could be there when he destroyed it, he was hesitant. In fact, he said no, but either I wore him down with my excessive pleading or he believed me when I told him that I needed to see it destroyed. He had to understand the need. It was something that had irreparably changed my life and had a strange hold on me, and I needed to see its destruction to know that it was really over.

I didn’t realize that Ethan’s presence came with the agreement. Josh stood close to me, and I could feel the wave of power coming off him; it was different for me now—more intense. I had a new appreciation for it. The purity of it, the calmness and the untainted energy it held.

When he started with the incantation, my skin pricked, the hairs on my arms raised slightly and warmth crept up my arm. I looked at Ethan, who had stepped to the side, his gaze placed intently on Josh. I tried not to show how the magic was affecting me, but my face was flushed, my skin warmed and sweat pooled around my temple. My fingers inched closer to Josh’s resting on top of his hands as he continued.

When he stopped reciting the incantation, the gem just lay there. Then it trembled rapturously for a few minutes, dwindling down to just light thumps against the table. The room temperature dropped to nearly freezing. The gem crystallized from the inside as icicles formed around its sharp edges.

Josh had released me from my binding. I was killed again to do so; why did I feel such sharp wrenching pain and emptiness that it made me nauseous? I gripped the table, my nails digging into the solid wood.