Authors: Anya Nowlan
“Do you think they’re alive?” she asked after a while, glancing over his shoulder. The clearing was no longer in sight, but Ryder kept expecting someone to run up on him from behind at any moment.
“I don’t think I give a damn, really,” he grumbled in reply, his brows furrowing. Wolves were resilient creatures, just like bears. But, he wasn’t going to shed any tears if he’d managed to get rid of the two mutts he’d flung off the cliff.
***
“There haven’t been wolves around here for more than 20 years,” Jackson said, standing in the middle of the living room with his arms crossed. Tess was fussing around Jackie, who gave it her very best to be an uncooperative patient, claiming she was fine. The fact that her jacket was essentially glued to her wound told everyone but her that she was anything but. Ryder cast a look at Jackie, fighting the urge to go and hem and haw around her like a nervous mother hen.
“That is true. But they hadn’t been in Bitterroot for 25 years either,” Ryder said carefully, keeping a respectable distance between himself and the other Alpha. Jackson was tense as a board. Ryder couldn’t blame him. If he had a little sister who was off sneaking around with a man who’d brought war on his clan, he would have been furious. Jackson, as always, had the composure of three men.
Ryder pulled a hand through his blonde hair, exhaling deeply. Not quite a sigh, but not far from it either.
You’re going to have to come clean now. Don’t think there’s any other way.
“So you’re trying to say that these wolves that attacked Jackie were Kadin wolves? What are they doing so far north?” Tess asked, cutting right to the point. Ryder smiled slightly. He’d liked Tess the moment he’d laid eyes on her.
It had made making Jackson angry all the more easier
. Hell, Ryder had probably known she and Jackson would end up together far before the Arder Alpha had the slightest clue. Although Jackson was a more strategic Alpha than Ryder, Ryder at least had him beat in his capability of reading women.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” Tess and Jackson shared a quick look amongst themselves, Jackson’s arms uncrossing. He looked like someone had punched him in the gut. Ryder knew far too well how that felt.
“God damn it Tess, I’m FINE. Okay? See, no pieces are falling off, I’m not collapsing on the floor and no organs are shutting down,” Jackie grumbled, trying to push Tess’s hands away as she cleaned the wound on her cheek. Tess glared at the protesting Arder girl, and Jackie sighed with annoyance. But, at least she stopped fighting. “Okay. What the hell, Ryder? What’s going on?”
Ryder looked down in front of himself, considering the hardwood floor for a moment. It had taken careful planning and plotting to get the two clans to where they were now. Everything had been going so well. And then Jackie showed up, and now everything was in flux again. Still, he couldn’t find an ounce of disappointment in himself. She was back. Little else seemed to matter, even though things were as dire as ever.
“Oh no you don’t, Ryder Hunt. I know that look of yours. You tell me the truth right now or I swear I’ll fling
you
off a cliff,” Jackie snarled. Ryder couldn’t help but smirk a little.
“Fine. I guess there’s nothing I can do anymore to make this play out any differently.” Ryder looked Jackson straight in the eyes. He’d hated lying to his closest friend for so long. Perhaps the truth would smooth the frazzled edges of their lost friendship at least a little. “I’m sure you know that I lost 10 bears in Bitterroot. And in a sense, I lost Jackie as well. She was up there with me, but she left after the fire. That is why we’ve been sneaking around. That’s why I wanted to talk to her. She’s been nothing but reluctant throughout our entire exchange here, I can promise you.” He decided to keep the rest of what had happened between them to himself, at least for now. Jackson stayed quiet, listening but not reacting before he’d heard it all. Something Ryder had never been able to do.
“Anyway. Why do I know those were Kadin wolves? I recognized one of them. He was the one that ripped Bryce’s throat open right in front of me.” The corners of Ryder’s mouth curled in a snarl, which he suppressed with difficulty. “And I knew they were coming for us. Eventually. That’s why I’ve been doing the things I’ve been doing.” A shadow of doubt fell over Jackson’s expression, and Ryder nodded, keeping his eyes on the other Alpha. Very little of what he was about to say sounded sane even to him, but it had seemed the best way – the only way – to give them a fighting chance.
“When we came here, I was sure the Kadin pack was going to make it up here sooner or later. Their leaders, a young Alpha and his bride, approached me that day on Bitterroot. They told me to take my people and run. Run and never look back, go as far away from the mountains as I could and never look back. They were never going to be happy with just the trifling lands they got from me. They have something to prove, and they’re not holding anything back. There’s more of them than there ever were of us, all young, angry and full of fight. Frankly, I’m surprised it took them this long. But it had been to our benefit, I guess,” Ryder said.
“What do you mean to our benefit, Ryder? You almost destroyed both clans with the stunt you pulled last week,” Jackson asked, his voice level but indignation shimmering behind it as he referred to the battle. Ryder grinned wickedly, a spark hitting his eyes. It had been a great plan. Even if it was a bit morbid.
“No. I was going to unite the clans. There was only one way that battle was going to play out. Either you or your brothers would have killed me. I can take your brothers one by one, but alone I’m no match against an Alpha trifecta. Even if I were to get you in a vulnerable state, I know Julian and Jonah would have interfered before it got worse. I knew I was going to die in that battle. I was betting on it. Until she showed up, that is,” Ryder said, inclining his head towards Jackie.
The room had fallen silent, all three of them staring at Ryder like he’d just got off his meds. Even Jackson couldn’t keep the utter shock from his expression, and Jackie was going through some kind of thorough metamorphosis between surprise, sadness, anger and a dose of good old-fashioned hysteria.
“WHAT!? Ryder, what the hell are you saying? You were
trying
to get killed?”
“Yes,” he said simply, shrugging nonchalantly. “I knew it was the only way to get the clans together.” The quizzical faces around him told him that it was not quite as obvious to everyone else as it was to him. Not too surprising, really.
“My clan was scattered, just like yours, Jackson. There were maybe only a third of us there at Bitterroot when we got beaten. When we came to Cabinet, a few others returned in support. I knew that when the Kadins came again, even all of my bears together wouldn’t be enough. And all of yours wouldn’t be enough either. Only together could we make a stand that had any hope of success. If I had told my people that I was expecting to get hit again, most of them would have left. And even if they hadn’t, there wouldn’t have been enough of us. We’d get slaughtered. It was a hopeless situation. And I couldn’t just suggest merging the clans – they’d lose all respect for me, we’d start fighting for position in the clan before it ever got to the point of merging, and even if it did work, our clans would never be equals. Only if the power transferred in a fight between Alphas would they respect and honor it. And only if we were in constant danger, fighting for our land in Cabinet, would all of the Bitterroot clan return home. As well as all of the Arders.” Ryder quieted, giving a moment for it all to sink in.
Jackson’s expression cleared slowly, and a twist of emotion wracked across his features.
“So you started all of this… to join the clans? What about the fight we had at Yellowhead?”
Ryder grinned, flashing his teeth. He glanced at Tess, who was still holding onto a bit of cotton tinted with Jackie’s blood.
“Yeah, pretty fortunate that Tess happened to come here then. I thought it would take way longer to get you to throw a punch at me. But apparently hitting on your girl did the trick.” Jackson’s brows furrowed again, but he continued.
“And Drake and Susie? The cars?”
“Drake has been in a dark place for a while. That stuff wasn’t entirely planned, but it served its purpose. The trucks and the hassling… well, I figured both you and my clan needed to think I was going mad bit by bit. The burning trucks seemed to have a nice effect in that sense.”
“Could have fooled me,” Tess murmured, arching a brow. A slight smirk had planted itself on the corner of her mouth, though. One that made Ryder relax a little. The feisty redhead had tended to be a bit faster on the uptake with things like that. The werebears were all far too good and pure of thought for their own good – the humans didn’t tend to share that character flaw.
“Well, I did try. I knew my bears wouldn’t kill anyone. We’d just lost some of our own, we couldn’t do that to anyone else. But if I kept edging them on, just turning the dial up a bit every few days, things would quickly come to a boil. Werebears are loyal to a fault, I knew they’d follow me, if I made it clear it was necessary. The Arder trifecta would have to come together, as it did. The bears who had scattered would come home and we’d be at full force. The clans could no longer take being in a state of flux. We’d be trained and ready for war. And when we went head to head with you, you’d hate me just enough to not question killing me when you had the chance, Jackson. So when the wolves came, they wouldn’t be able to pick us off, one by one. They’d be faced with an army of bears, greater in numbers than they could ever have expected and completely ready to wipe the floor with their hides.”
The two men shared a long look, Jackson’s dark brown eyes considering Ryder like he’d just seen him for the first time after a long, long time. Jackson quickly crossed the distance between them, and for a moment, Ryder considered whether to duck in anticipation of a punch.
I’d deserve it,
he had time to think. The next thing Ryder knew, he had been pulled into a tight bear hug by Jackson. He hadn’t noticed before, but he was shaking just a little. It was liberating to finally be able to tell someone, even if he had fully intended to take it to the grave with him. And the last thing he had expected to happen was that Jackson would accept his words.
“I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that. Even if it is fucking insane,” Jackson said, pulling back and holding Ryder at arm’s length.
“I second it,” Tess said, nodding at Ryder. The Arder Alpha smile and Ryder echoed it, a boulder falling from his chest. He felt almost weightless. The relief was incredible. It would only last a moment, though, before everything came crashing down on him again. His gaze travelled to Jackie, and the frustration and confusion on her face stung harder than any punch could have. He could see pain in her eyes, and he knew what it meant. He hadn’t told her, and it was more than an insult to her, to them. Or what they had been, at least. His heart crumpled inside of him. The first to notice, of course, was Tess. Ryder could see Tess grabbing Jackie’s palms in her hands and whispering something to him that Ryder couldn’t hear.
“Alright. Granted that we won’t sacrifice you for being a suicidal idiot, we’ve got to figure out what to do with these wolves. I need to talk with my brothers, and you need to talk to your lieutenants. This has gone on long enough. I understand what you were trying to do, and by damn, Ryder, you accomplished almost all of it. I can only thank my sister for getting here in time.” Jackson glanced at Jackie, and his tone lowered a bit, a frown crossing over his features. Ryder shared a look with him, and the two men seemed to consider their options. It was odd suddenly finding one another on the same side and their biggest problem being how to handle Jackson’s little sister, not a pack of murderous werewolves.
“How about we agree to double the patrols on both sides and sit down in a few days when we’ve had time to talk to our clans.” It wasn’t a question, and Ryder was in no mood to argue. He knew it was going to be a tough conversation with his lieutenants, but he imagined that most of them would be relieved to know that their Alpha hadn’t quite flown off the handle as badly as they had expected. Ryder nodded to Jackson and without another word, exited the cabin.
Whatever I do, I only seem to hurt her,
he thought bitterly, shoving his hands in his pockets and picking the shortest path back up to the Bitterroot cabins. He could still smell her scent on him from having carried her all that way, and it was intoxicating, filling his head with wants and desires he had scarcely dared dream of. Since Jackie had returned, it had seemed that maybe, just maybe, there was hope that things could get back on track. As far as his clan was concerned, they almost had. But if anyone were to ask his heart, they’d only find brittle ash where he once had kept hope.
Without noticing, his shoulders slumped again. Every victory seemed like a hollow one when the side effect was pushing his mate further and further from him.
CHAPTER NINE
The air was cold and her breath rose in pillars in the darkness. Jackie’s steps fell one after another with determination, having shifted out of her bear form at the very border of the Bitterroot lands. She’d noticed Troy from the corner of her eye, but unlike Drake, the man kept his distance and gave her a wide berth. The look on his face told Jackie that Ryder had already spoken to his lieutenants. He looked positively relieved. The realization blistered on her brain, scorching a painful path through already anguishing thoughts. Warm yellow lights lit up Ryder’s cottage, even though it was the dead of night. Despite the late hour, she’d seen no less than two patrols out during her trek, one Bitterroot and one Arder clan group. They were taking the Kadin threat seriously, and rightfully so. It was almost funny, how quickly they’d shifted from being at war to putting their backs together in defense. The collective sigh of relief hung over the Cabinet Mountains, deafening to Jackie but liberating to everyone else.