Mistress to the Beast (13 page)

“Do you think that’s where your mistrust of women began?”

“I won’t say I mistrust women entirely. In my experience, unfortunately the ones I’ve had dealings with were more interested in what a man could give them rather than the other way around.”

“We’re not all like that. I’m not.”

“So you keep saying.”

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“Because it’s the truth.”

“Hmm.” He neither agreed or disagreed.

Lila silently counted to five before she spoke again. She had to remember it would take time for him to get over his hang-ups. “What happened when your mother remarried?”

“My first stepfather wasn’t a bad guy. Ben was as good to me as any man who’d had a ten year old stepson suddenly thrust upon him. He’d even offered me the Ramsey name.

I refused out of respect for my father though. I was just starting to get used to the arrangement when Mom decided she couldn’t handle what she called his workaholic attitude. I was fourteen then.”

“That’s a shame.”

“It was upsetting, but Ben and I kept in contact in the following years. Stepfather number two was a widower with a daughter. He resented the hell out of my presence and made no secret of it. Being a self-made man who’d come from nothing he liked to throw his money around, making sure everyone knew how much he shelled out for everything.

Ted made sure I realized I was in his house because of his largesse. I hated him for constantly putting me down but I started to despise my mother even more for letting him.

In retrospect, I didn’t exactly demonstrate model behavior.”

“But you were a teenager, he was a grown man.”

Hunter’s lip quirked briefly. “You’re very generous.”

“I’m just calling it like I see it. Did you get along with your stepsister at least?”

“Karen didn’t make matters easier for me.”

“She teased you?”

“In the worst way a girl could do to any hot-blooded teenage boy. She loved to show off her body, flashing me when no one was looking, and touching my knee and rubbing my crotch under the dinner table.”

Lila gasped. “How old was this girl?”

“Seventeen and very developed. I didn’t stand a chance. I don’t think I have to tell you what happened next. She came on to me and I took what she offered. Unlucky for us, 94

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or me rather, we were caught. Ted gave me an ass kicking I’ll never forget for taking advantage of his innocent angel.” He snorted. “She wasn’t a virgin when I had her, but she was always so well behaved around him.”

“But she was older than you—knew better. Surely he could see she was just as responsible.

“Karen could do no wrong in Ted’s eyes. Hell, she even turned on the waterworks and said I’d forced her. That earned me another pummeling, although I did get some nice shots in myself. Anyway, I was sent to boarding school after that incident because he refused to have me under his roof anymore. Mom stood back and said nothing as usual.”

“You can’t hold women responsible for what your mother and some
girl
did to you.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t but I haven’t seen any shining examples of female virtue. After I took over Ramsey’s for Ben and made it what it is today, all the attention from the women went to my head. In my mind, I was getting a little of my own back for past hurts.

I didn’t give a lot of them a proper chance to find out who was using me and who genuinely liked me. They were all the same to me. My earlier experiences hardened me against the fairer sex. I suppose my accident didn’t help matters. Until tonight, I didn’t realize how bitter and angry I’d become at people, the world and myself.” He took her hand in his. “I don’t want to be this way anymore. I want to heal. Teach me how, Lila.”

Her heart went out to him. Hunter’s impassioned plea touched a part of her she didn’t believe he was capable of. Her response was to lean over and offer her lips him.

With a groan, Hunter lowered his head to accept. For the first time since her arrival, Lila didn’t feel homesick.

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Lila touched his sleeve, compassion etched in every line on her lovely face. “If you’re not comfortable coming out, I don’t mind if we get takeout and go back to the house.”

Though she kept her voice light and casual, Hunter could hear the anxious undertone of her words. Ever since he’d decided to take her out for dinner, he couldn’t fight the nerves coursing through his body. Going to work and dealing with his colleagues was a trial in itself, but it was a necessity. This on the other hand was different, voluntarily putting himself out there to be scrutinized by the public, inviting the stares, trying to ignore the whispers behind cupped hands. Perspiration beaded his forehead when he thought about it.

Clenching his fists to prevent his hands from shaking, he pasted a smile on his lips.

Lila had turned out to be everything he could possibly want in a companion, and more.

Because he hated seeing that look of abject longing he saw in her eyes when she didn’t think he was watching, Hunter had suggested they go out for a night on the town. To say Lila was thrilled at the suggestion was an understatement. Throwing her arms around him, she’d thanked him profusely and Hunter knew there was no turning back.

How could he tell her he’d changed his mind, when he hadn’t seen her face light up like that before? Hunter hadn’t realized how much making Lila happy meant to him until that moment. As much as he wanted to tell Ernest to turn the car around, he didn’t have the heart to do it.

Pasting a smile on his lips, he hoped it looked natural. Hunter patted her hand, letting his fingers graze her soft skin. God, he loved touching her. “No, I don’t want to go home, besides, I can’t think of a better way to spend my evening than with a beautiful woman enjoying a fine dining experience.”

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Lila’s grin widened, making her dark eyes sparkle. She leaned over and planted her glossy lips against his cheek. “Thank you. This means a lot to me.”

A warmth spread throughout his body from the touch of her lips. “It’s my pleasure.

You look fantastic, by the way.” And she did. Though he would have preferred her hair to be worn loose, it was pinned in a stylish topknot with loose strands framing her heart-shaped face. She didn’t wear as much gunk on her face as the other women who’d flitted in and out of his life, yet none of them could hold a candle to her natural beauty.

Her dress was one of the items he’d purchased for her. A strapless jade gown which hugged her curves like a second skin. His cock stiffened with the mere thought of his plan to undress her when they got home. How he’d undo her hair to let it cascade around his shoulders. How he’d kiss every inch of her soft chocolate skin, until she cried out his name, begging him for more.

Hunter wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of being in an uncontrolled environment. But he didn’t want to disappoint Lila when he knew it meant so much to her to have a night out. That she didn’t seem to mind she was spending it with him gave him the courage to see this thing through.

Her full lips curved to a smile. “And you don’t look so bad yourself. You clean up rather nicely.”

Hunter shook his head. “Just because I pay you a compliment, don’t feel obligated to give me one back. We both know what I look like.”

One finely arched brow shot up. “Oh? And since when did you become a mind reader? I happen to think you look very handsome right now. If you didn’t have so many damn hang-ups, maybe you’d be able to accept what I say at face value rather than scrutinizing everything.”

“What I accept is you’re the kind of person who doesn’t like to hurt people’s feelings, but let’s not try to sugarcoat this joke I call a face.”

Folding her arms across her chest, she turned away from him. “I wish you wouldn’t start this again, Hunter. I’m not interested in joining your pity party tonight.”

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“I’m not having a goddamn—” Realizing he’d raised his voice when he saw her flinch, Hunter paused. Taking a deep breath, he placed his hand on her thigh and gave it a light squeeze. “You’re right. Learning how to accept myself as I am now is going to take some time, but I’ll keep trying. For you.”

Lila turned and faced him again, her dark brown gaze roaming his face. Hunter tried not to fidget under her penetrating scrutiny. Placing her hand on the scarred side of his face, she shook her head. “No. Do it for you.”

There was no mistaking the sincerity in her voice. Lila Saunders was as genuine as they came, and he should have seen it right away. But he’d let his prejudices about women get in the way. Maybe he should let her go now instead of forcing her to spend time with him. But the moment the thought entered his mind, he immediately buried it again.

He’d have to let her go soon enough, but for now, he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. Needed it. He enjoyed her company far more than he believed he would at the beginning of this arrangement. No, he wouldn’t let her go just yet. Hunter intended to keep her with him for as long as he possibly could, even though deep down he knew it was wrong.

Dinner was every bit the ordeal Hunter pictured it would be. Besides the stares he drew in his direction, the minute they’d stepped into the restaurant, Hunter was aware of the hushed whispers and stunned gasps. He’d known this was what to expect, knew people would pause in the middle of eating and stare, some pretending not to, while others watched him openly.

What made matters worse was knowing what they were thinking. He could tell by the sympathetic stares some shot Lila’s way.
What is that beautiful woman doing with
that monster? He must be incredibly rich because she couldn’t possibly be with someone
like him.
And they wouldn’t have been so far from the truth. What would they say if they knew he’d blackmailed her to be with him? They’d condemn him for being every bit the monster they believed him to be.

There was only so much of this he could take.

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“Hunter.” Lila stretched her arm over the table as she waved her hand in his face.

“Earth to Hunter.”

He shook his head to rid himself of the disconcerting thoughts swimming in his mind. “I’m sorry, were you saying something?”

“Can I go too?”

“What?”

“Wherever you were just now. I’ve been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes.”

He was doing exactly what he promised her he wouldn’t, feeling sorry for himself.

Come on, Hunter, you’re being an ass. Pull yourself together
. Pasting a smile on his face, he gave her his undivided attention, determined to block out the curious glances thrown his way. “I apologize. I was thinking about how long it’s been since I’ve been out like this.”

“Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Of course. How could I not when I have the company of such a lovely companion?”

“You don’t have to lay it on so thick, Hunter.”

“It’s true. You’re gorgeous, and I think you know it.”

She raised her shoulder in a nonchalant shrug.

“You don’t give a damn about your looks do you?”

Lila shook her head. “Not really. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know I was attractive, but there are far more important things in life than being pretty. Eventually, my looks will fade and I’m okay with that because I have so much more going on in my life than my face. And I suspect you were the same way before your accident. You didn’t give a damn about your looks before it happened, did you?”

It was on the tip of his tongue to deny it, but she was correct. Sure he knew what a good looking man he used to be, but he’d taken his face for granted. It was only now when he was deformed that it mattered to him so much. He twisted his lips into a half smile. “You never appreciate what you have until it’s gone. What you say makes sense, www.samhainpublishing.com 99

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but it’s hard to not to be uncomfortable when people are staring at me like I’m a circus freak.”

Lila sat back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest, looking at him with a suspicious gleam of amusement in her eyes. Her glossy painted lips were slightly curved.

Hunter didn’t quite trust that look. He was beginning to learn what her expressions meant, and when the cogs were spinning. She was up to something.

“What’s that look for?”

Her grin widened to reveal her even white teeth. “What look?”

“The one that tells me you’re plotting.”

She tossed her head back showing off the graceful column of her neck as she laughed. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hunter. Has anyone ever told you you’re paranoid?”

Hunter raised a brow. “When I’m given a good reason to be, I am.” He stiffened at the feel of her stockinged foot easing its way up his leg. “What are you doing?”

Instead of answering, she picked up her fork and knife, cut a piece of asparagus and popped it into her mouth as if her foot wasn’t sliding along his thigh.

Hunter’s cock jumped to attention and her toes were mere inches from his crotch.

Yet she sat across from as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. “What are you doing?”

“You’ve already asked me that. I’m eating.” She pressed the ball of her foot against his erection making him jump.

He inhaled sharply as heat rushed through his body. “Good God, woman, what are you doing to me?”

“Giving you something else to think about. Is it working?” She moved her foot against his cock in circular motions.”

Hunter clenched the tablecloth between his fists as sweat broke out along his forehead. Not only was he no longer concerned about what people around them thought about his face, he doubted he’d make it ten minutes without fucking her senseless.

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“You’re asking for it,” he said through clenched teeth, trying to hold on to his last bit of self control.