Authors: Sarah Belle
‘But if that was his reaction, then surely you wouldn’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone like that? Someone who doesn’t understand that we’ve all made mistakes?’
‘Since when did you get so wise about relationships, Miss Permanently-Bad-Choices-in-Men?’ I smile.
‘Maybe since I fell in love?’
‘I just can’t imagine not being with Aiden, you know?’
Mel nods, a tear springing from her eye. ‘Yeah, I do know. That’s how I feel about your brother.’
Strangely, it doesn’t sound odd hearing Mel say that about Ben. My best friend and my twin brother together, happy with each other. Madly in love.
‘There’s got to be another way, Lou,’ Mel says. ‘I still think it sounds crazy, and wonder if that means I’ve lost a few of my own marbles, but the thought of a future without Ben…’
She’s right, there has to be another way. Ideas swirl around in my head until they crash into each other and end up in a mangled mess.
Mel sits up straight, springing out of her funk.
‘Can you try to meet Aiden? You know all the places he hangs out. Then he can fall in love with you again. Perhaps that would work?’ Mel says, her voice full of hope.
‘I already tried ringing him. He didn’t know who I was, thought he was talking to some crazy stalker.’
‘Well, you couldn’t really blame him for that. But if that was only over the phone, then he doesn’t know who you are. You could still meet him and live happily ever after.’
It’s true, Aiden has only heard my voice over the phone, and I was frazzled during the phone call, so he may not recognise my voice in person. There’s his favourite coffee haunt, his favourite running track, where he goes to the gym, where he does his grocery shopping. In fact, there are endless possibilities where we could ‘accidentally’ run into each other and strike up a conversation that could lead back to love.
The possibilities bring me back to life and the flame of hope begins to simmer again. It’s not great burning flames, but it’s something. It’s better than no hope at all.
‘You may be onto something there. I could meet him in a million different places.’ I turn to Mel, who is semi-smiling, and reach out to touch her hand. ‘Maybe this can be re-worked this so it isn’t a disaster.’
‘What about Majique’s spell?’ Mel asks, her soft face full of concern. Her heartbeat is almost audible from here.
What about Majique’s spell? There was no guarantee that it would actually work. What if it made even more of a mess? Ending up in the world between worlds just doesn’t appeal at all. And even if it did work, what level of happiness would it bring, knowing the price everyone else has paid for it? Living with myself for undoing all their lives would be a nightmare, even though they wouldn’t know any different. I’d know that it was all because of my selfishness, and that’s not something anyone can live with.
I spit the words out before my mind does a 180. ‘I can’t trade my happiness for yours and Ben’s or Mum and Dad’s. I love Aiden, but I love you all more. You all deserve happiness just as much as me.’
It’s surprising to find that making this decision doesn’t make me feel any better. All that’s left is an emptiness, like after a bout of food poisoning, or an enormous hangover.
Mel bursts into a fresh round of tears, but happy tears this time as her mouth curls into a smile.
‘Oh Lou! Thank you, thank you, thank you!’ she says as she flies out of the seat and onto me.’ You are the bestest friend ever.’
‘Yeah, you remember that when I’m crying into my champagne at your wedding anniversary, sitting next to a nerdy, weedy guy who’s even unluckier in love than I am.’ I laugh. ‘And when you’re celebrating your 10th wedding anniversary covered in children, and I’m still single and no longer fertile enough to offer progeny to any man, you remember my sacrifice then.’
‘No, don’t be silly. That will never happen. You’ll get Aiden back, I just know it. But…’
‘But what?’
Mel face crinkles up. She’s holding something back. Something big.
‘What is it Mel? Spit it out!’
‘You’ll have to dump your new boyfriend first,’ Mel mumbles.
‘I have a boyfriend? My God, Mel! Why are you telling me this just now?’
Mel looks at me with a ‘give me a freaking break’ expression on her face, complete with a raised eyebrow. ‘After what you’ve put me through this morning, you’ll just have to forgive me that your love life slipped my mind!’
‘Who is he?’
My balloon of hope takes on a helium quality.
‘Some guy you’re working with, at the new bank job. You went to London to work with him for two weeks first and then accompanied him back out here.’
My balloon deflates. He’s probably some other banker guy from London.
‘What’s his name?’ I ask.
‘Oh, God, what is it? He’s…um…here to do some restructuring in a bank. You know…fire people.’
My heart stops and the blood drains from my extremities. I can feel it pooling in the core of my body. Thank God we’re still sitting down.
‘He is gorgeous though,’ Mel continues. ‘Built like a rugby player, the kind of shoulders you could shelter in during a blizzard. Nice hair too, thick, dark, glossy. If he wasn’t so successful, he could easily be a model, or an actor.’
I am too scared to think.
‘Very charming too, could charm the pants off…well, he’s already charmed the pants off you. He could probably do it to me too, if it wasn’t for your brother,’ Mel laughs.
I sit perfectly still, unable to breathe.
‘Oh, what’s his name? Harvey? Adam? No, that’s not it.’
Please don’t say it. Please don’t say it. If you don’t say it, I promise to give up chocolate forever
.
‘Luke? No, that’s not it,’ she continues to shake her head. ‘Noah, no, Hun..’
‘No!’ I cry out, but Mel is oblivious to my objections.
‘That’s it, Hunter! He’s even got a movie star name.’ She beams at me.
For the second time that day, my entire world comes crashing down.
* * *
I haul myself inside the main house, barely. My body feels as though it’s dragging an entire alternate reality behind it.
How could this happen? The very reason I cast the spell in the first place was so that Hunter would forget me and my past would never come into question. Aiden would never know about the relationship, but where did it land me? Back in his bed! Right in front of Aiden!
Could today get any worse?
No! I take that thought back and lock it inside the sealed vault inside my head. There’s no point tempting the Universe to throw any more shit at me today because if it did, I’ll roll up into a little ball and not come out until the Zombie Apocalypse.
‘You alright, love?’ Dad asks. ‘You look a bit pale.’
‘It’s too many late nights and too much partying, Rodney. Don’t give her any sympathy,’ Mum interrupts. ‘She needs to settle herself down, meet a nice boy for a change and plan for the future.’
A small laugh escapes me. It tastes of bitter irony. How funny, that’s exactly what I was doing in the other life—my real life—and now it’s all disintegrated into nothing but a big, fat pile of ash and dust and crap, from which only the bald chicken of bad luck will emerge rather than the phoenix of rebirth.
‘Aren’t you meant to be at work today? You’d better get a move on, Lou,’ Mum continues as she fusses around the kitchen, making Dad a cuppa.
Work? How could anyone think of work on a day like this? It’s the last place I’d want to go — working with Hunter and…Aiden! Their professional lives are still intact. Aiden works at the very bank that Hunter has come to tear apart and I apparently work for Hunter, which means that Aiden will be in the same building. Shit!
But I’ll get to be close to Aiden, to see him, smell him and maybe even touch his shirt or jacket. Maybe then his memory will be fixed and he’ll fall in love with me again. Happy days!
Hang on. If I’m working with Hunter then Aiden has probably already met me, and if Hunter is my current lover, then Aiden won’t like me, just on principle. I’m already at a disadvantage. This has to be turned around, made to work for me in a positive way, if that’s possible. There has to be a way to win Aiden’s trust, his heart. But how?
I race into my bedroom to get changed for work. It’s filled with designer labels—just like Posh Spice’s closet, only much smaller. The shoe collection is spectacular and although they are very pretty, I’d much rather have my house back instead of an enviable wardrobe.
A red skirt suit is the first thing that catches my eye. Probably because the cut is flawless and makes me look like a curvier, shorter, less attractive catwalk model. It’s as pretty as I’ve felt all day. A scratch of makeup and a quick rework of the hair and I’m out the door.
Surely the fact that Aiden and I are still in each other’s lives, albeit in a very skewed kind of way, means that we are meant to be together, doesn’t it? Like renovating my house and returning it to a proud state, this is a do-it-yourself kind of thing.
Now, it’s time face the bald chicken of bad luck and roast him slowly.
I park my car next to Aiden’s, underneath the building, and take the elevator up to the 17
th
floor. This office is familiar, having visited Aiden many times before, so unless the entire set-up has changed, along with everything else in my life today, I should be able to manage the day without raising suspicion.
The elevator doors ping open and the atmosphere hits me. It is an invisible wall of heightened stress hiding behind a very sheer veneer of save face. Storms are brewing here, it’s easy to see. Not exactly the picture of calmness myself today, I wonder how any of the people here are going to get through the day without Valium or vodka.
The receptionist finishes her phone call and raises her eyes to me. She is perfectly groomed. In fact, this girl would give department store make-up divas a run for their money. Her name tag reads ‘Ella’.
‘You’re late,’ she whispers as I approach the desk.
‘Yes, um…sorry, Ella. There was an accident on the way—lanes closed, traffic at a standstill, you know. Sorry.’
‘He’s in his office,’ Ella says. ‘And he’s not happy!’
Where is his office? My office
.
‘Ah…he was talking of moving offices, do you know if he did?’ My improvisation skills are improving by the minute. From now on I am going to have to think on my tippy-toes, be a complete bullshit ballerina.
The phone rings again. ‘Welcome to Global Bank, how may I help you?’ Ella speaks into her headpiece as she jabs her French-tipped nail to the left and shakes her head. Never one to win at charades, I take it to mean that Hunter’s office is to the left and so disappear in that direction.
I walk slowly, so it’s easy to look inside each office without coming to a complete standstill and resembling either a pervert or an eavesdropper. It’s more than likely the rest of the staff dislike me as well, simply because I am here to assist the hatchet man in his job of thinning the workforce, so it would be best not to draw attention to myself.
Aiden’s voice drifts out of the main boardroom. It’s soft, quiet and perfect, like classical music on a starry night, and stops me dead in my tracks. If I did nothing but stood on this spot for the rest of my life and listened to his voice, there would be no complaints.
A large, warm hand on my bottom and a hot whisper in my ear brings me back to earth with a crash.
‘If you’re going to be late then you’ll have to make up the time in other ways.’
My spine stiffens and every muscle in my body contracts.
Hunter
.
His hand moves up to the small of my back and gently pushes me into forward motion, towards his office. Frozen and unable to think of anything to say or do, I walk in silence. Once inside the office, Hunter closes the door, then pushes me back against the wall and presses himself against me, one hand on my hip, the other on the back of my neck as he brings his face down to mine. His movement is so swift there’s little time to react.
‘Nice skirt, makes me want to rip it off you,’ he says as his lips engulf mine in a kiss that would make any other woman want to rip her own skirt off, but it turns my stomach as Aiden flashes through my mind.
I struggle to remove my lips from his and try to push him backwards so that there is enough space between us to allow me to breathe.
Hunter steps back, wounded.
‘What’s wrong with you?’ he says.
‘I, umm, don’t think we should be doing this in the office, that’s all,’ I reply.
‘You didn’t seem to mind the other night.’ He tilts his head toward the desk. ‘You had the time of your life on top of that desk, and that chair, and against that wall,’ he smirks.
Cue inward cringe. Right now I’d peel off my own skin if it meant cleansing myself of the feeling of Hunter’s hands and lips all over me, and God knows what else.
Time to put it into his own language.
‘What I meant is that you’d lose credibility if you were found to be acting inappropriately towards your assistant. A man in your position deserves respect, not Chinese whispers,’ I say.
He backs off and straightens his tie as he clears his throat. The smile on his face isn’t a sincere one, and to someone who didn’t know him well, it would pass as friendly. But I know him better than he realises, and can tell he is insulted at my rebuff. Oh well, he’ll get over it. There’s plenty more ego where that came from.
‘It’s not their respect I want, it’s their fear,’ he says, as he moves toward the desk to collect his iTablet.
‘I think you’ve already got that,’ I say, knowing it will boost his ego.
Hunter bursts into a wall-to-wall smile, a genuine one this time.
‘Yes, you’re right. They do fear me, and so they should. Let’s go and scare some more of them, shall we? I need to make a call first. Go in there and see what you can find out for me. You can use your bountiful charms to my benefit while you’re here.’
Schmuck
.
I straighten my skirt and shirt before leaving his office and head for the boardroom towards Aiden’s voice. My heart sprints and my legs wobble in anticipation, as I pause out of his sight, but within hearing distance. I need a plan.