Chapter Nine
Bonnie looked around her. After hours of work, the kitchen actually looked habitable.
The trash bins outside were full to overflowing, but at least she'd be able to cook and eat in the kitchen now.
It looked and smelled deep-down clean. She'd have to go to the store and pick up more cleaning products to get through the rest of the house. The heavy-duty, industrial kind since there was years of dirt and grime to get through.
She needed a shopping list so she didn't forget anything once she got inside the store, which was what always seemed to happen to her when she went shopping without a list.
Bonnie pulled open the drawer that had always held pens and paper when she was a kid and sighed. It was packed full of crap, just like the rest of the house. She wasn't going to be able to find what she needed easily, and she was too tired to look. She was about to slide it closed and save that chore for another day when something caught her eye.
It was an old photo. Just the corner of it peeked out from beneath a Chinese food takeout menu but she knew immediately what it was of. The bottom of the yellow dress was too familiar for her not to recognize it.
Shuffling things out of the way, she pulled out the picture and saw herself, twenty-five years ago, smiling so her mother could finish the roll of film before the prom.
Her father had kept this picture of her all these years?
Though, she shouldn't be surprised. It seemed he kept everything.
Her curiosity piqued, she dug further and found the program from her graduation ceremony. And in its folds, the tassel from her cap.
The drawer was like a time capsule and she wasn't sure she was ready for that trip back into the past quite yet. She shoved the items back in and closed the drawer.
Out of sight, out of mind. She could live with that.
Moving toward the spot where she'd left her purse on the countertop, she rummaged through. She found a pen and a scrap of paper to write on and scribbled down a couple of things she needed.
As she wrote, she realized how sweaty and disgusting she felt. Thank God she'd had the foresight to tackle the bathroom before she'd started on the kitchen. There was no way she'd have the energy to clean the shower stall now.
The cool water on her skin did much to wash away the heat of the day along with the dirt. She'd thrown in a load of laundry earlier, too, so she had clean towels for her shower, and fresh bedding for laterâwherever she decided to sleep.
She wasn't sure she could stand being in her old bedroom. Certainly not in her father's bedroom.
The sofa in the living room might have to do, but she hadn't started cleaning out that room yet. Just knowing the clutter was there might keep her awake in spite of the over-the-counter sleeping pills she'd bought.
Then again, maybe she was too damn tired to care about anything. She felt the bone-deep weariness settle over her now that she was clean and dressed in a T-shirt and soft cotton shorts. She could probably sleep on top of the piles of old newspapers in the living room and not even notice.
Being busy was a good thing. Being busy had kept her mind off the strangeness of her homecoming. Kept her mind off the bad things and the good thingsâlike coincidentally running into Rohn.
What the heck was she going to do about him? Nothing. That's what. She'd rent his truck, clean this place out, and then head back to the life she'd built for herself in Arizona. There was nothing else for her to do.
She was on her way into the kitchen to get some cold water to take the sleeping pills with when she heard a knock on the front screen door. She jumped at the sound and then heard the deep, masculine, “Hello?”
The sun had set a while ago, and in hindsight, she probably should have closed and locked the front door long before now, but that was less of a concern to her than who stood silhouetted in the doorway.
If she hadn't recognized the voice, she would have recognized his height, and the cowboy hat she'd seen earlier that day.
“Rohn. Come on in.” When had her voice gotten so breathless?
It became apparent that keeping things just friends between her and Rohn was going to be an issue, judging by how her heart pounded at the sight of him at her door. Especially if he made a habit of dropping in unannounced while she was dressed for bed.
“You sure?” He pulled the screen door open and popped just his head in. “I don't want to disturb you.”
She let out a short laugh. There were many other things to disturb her in this house. Rohn would just be one more. “It's fine. Come on in . . . as long as you don't mind the mess.”
Bonnie had momentarily forgotten about the state of the house. She couldn't forget now as she watched Rohn's gaze sweep the clutter in the room. He came all the way in and let the door slam closed behind him. “Looks like you got your work cut out for you here.”
“Yes, it does.” She glanced at the brown paper bag in his hand. “What have you got there?”
He flashed her that grin that had won her heart so many years ago. “Ice cream.”
She couldn't help the wide smile as good memories for a change bombarded her. “What flavor?”
“Strawberry cheesecake.” He watched her closely, waiting for her reaction to that information.
How could she not react? After all these years he'd remembered she loved that flavor. The place in town had served it that summer as their seasonal special.
The mist of nostalgia clouded her vision in the form of unshed tears. “Thank you.”
Rohn's brows drew down. “What's wrong?”
He put the bag down on top of a stack of newspapers and came to her. He ran one hand up and down her arm. His kindness in light of how she'd left, what she'd done, broke her.
“Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired.”
“I should go.” His voice was soft, gentle. That, in combination with the mingled concern and heat in his eyes when he looked at her, had her insides twisting.
“No. Stay. I'm fine. Just silly and nostalgic.”
“You were never silly. And sometimes nostalgia is a good thing.” He raised his hand to brush it across her cheek, lingering just long enough for her to feel the warmth of his touch against her skin.
God, she was going to crack. His kindness would break her. In the face of all she'd done, his being sweet would surely do her in.
He dropped his hand away from her face. “You wanna eat that ice cream before it melts?”
Bonnie breathed in relief. She'd needed his hand off her so she could get herself together.
“Okay.”
Feeling his touch was too bittersweet for her to deal with. Going to the kitchen to grab spoons would provide a much-needed distraction. She led the way and he followed her.
“Wow. This room is a hell of a lot different from that one.” He hooked a thumb in the direction of the living room.
While pulling open the utensil drawer, filled with cutlery she'd run through the dishwasher just today, she glanced back at him. “I spent a good couple of hours in here.”
“It shows.”
“Thanks.” She carried two spoons over to him. “Let me get two bowls.”
He grinned wide. “Nope. I want to eat it right out of the container the way we did that night we picked up a pint and ate it in my truck by the river. Okay with you?”
“Yeah. It's fine. Do you want to sit in here and eat? Or outside?” she asked.
A sly smile tipped up the corner of his mouth. “We'd better stay inside. I remember the last time we shared a pint of ice cream outdoors.”
Bonnie drew in a breath, pulled out a kitchen chair, and sat, but had no comment. She remembered, too. They'd ended up making love in the back of his pickup overlooking the river. After the first time, that was what they did every chance they could get alone.
Rohn reached into the bag and emerged with a familiar white pint container with the flavor scribbled on the lid in red marker.
She smiled. “I see things haven't changed much.”
He pulled the other chair closer to hers and then sat. “Nope. Same except for the price. And that, like most everything over the years, has doubled.” Rohn pried the lid off and let out a low, grumbling, “Mmm. It'll be well worth it, though.”
Getting over her discomfort at being around him again, Bonnie reached out and took a scoop off the top with her spoon.
Creamy and cold, the flavor she remembered from her youth filled her mouth. Taste buds definitely had a memory. Hers remembered enjoying this treat like it was yesterday. “Mmm. You're right. It's exactly like it was back then.”
He scooped himself a mouthful. “And soft and half melted.”
“Just the way I like it.” She smiled and grabbed another big spoonful.
“I know.” Rohn laughed and scooped more for himself.
That had been a debate between them that night they'd shared the pint in his truck. How she could prefer to eat the ice cream when it was so melted it was almost liquid, while he liked it firm and solid right out of the freezer.
Maybe this was good, easing back into getting used to each other again so they could be friends. She glanced up and caught him watching her, his eyes focused on her tongue as she licked off her spoon.
Her heart twisted with an unrealistic hope that they could be more than friends. Parts lower twisted as well, with a need, a desire, long banked.
If only . . .
“So, how are the bedrooms?”
Bonnie whipped her attention to Rohn at that question just when she'd been thinking about sex. “The bedrooms?”
“Yeah. I'm assuming you're planning on sleeping here tonight, but if the bedrooms are in the same condition as the living room . . .” His lifted his dark brows, which were beginning to show a bit of gray, and let the sentence trail off.
On Rohn the touches of silver looked sexy. She wrestled her mind back to the question. “The bedrooms are pretty bad. I figured I'd sleep on the couch in the living room.”
“Uh, the living room's pretty bad, too.”
Dipping her head in a nod, she couldn't deny the truth of that. Rohn had seen the shambles with his own eyes. “It is. I'll be okay.”
A frown creased Rohn's forehead. “Come stay with me.”
She paused with ice cream in her mouth and her empty spoon in midair. She swallowed. “What?”
“Just for tonight. Tomorrow, I'll loan you my guys. You can get this place cleaned up and sleep in your old bed tomorrow night.”
The last thing she wanted to do was sleep in her old bed, only second to sleeping in Rohn's house and all the feelings that would raise, but she couldn't tell him any of that. “No.”
No, to everything. To spending the night under Rohn's roof with all the emotions pinging around inside her. To him loaning her his employees to help her. Definitely no to sleeping in her old bedroom.
“Why not? It makes sense. Besides, it's hot as blazes in here. Is the A/C broken? Do you want me to take a look at itâ” He was in the process of standing when Bonnie stopped him.
“It's not broken. I turned it off. I wanted the windows open . . . to air the place out.”
He nodded. “Understood.”
It was a good excuse. A place that looked this cluttered would need airing. Rohn didn't need to know it was the demons haunting her that had Bonnie throwing open the windows and doors the moment she'd gotten inside.
“I still don't think there's any reason for you to sleep here tonight. I have two empty guest bedrooms at the ranch.”
“No, Rohn.” She shook her head to emphasize how adamant she was about her decision. “But thank you. I appreciate the offer.”
He paused, watching her before he nodded. “A'ight. I won't push. But if you change your mind, or need anything at all, day or night, here's my number.”
Her shopping list was on the table. He picked up the pen she'd left there, tore off a piece of the paper bag, and scribbled his number. Handing it to her, he said, “Promise you'll call if you need me.”
“I promise.” Her heart swelled with what could have been. What never could be.
How could any man be so damned sweet? Just as her taste buds had remembered the flavor of the ice cream, her heart remembered what it had felt like to love Rohn. Or at least what her eighteen-year-old self had thought was love.
“You want any more of this?” He tipped his head toward the ice cream they'd both stopped eating.
“No, thanks. I'm good.”
He nodded and reached for the cover. “It'll make a nice cool snack for you tomorrow while you're working.” He moved to the fridge and pulled open the freezer door, before glancing back at her. “I see there's plenty of room.”
She cringed as he put the pint container into the completely bare freezer. “I tossed everything. I didn't know how old it was. I'm planning on going shopping tomorrow.”
Rohn slammed the door closed and came back to her. “Then that ice cream might end up being breakfast.”
“I wouldn't mind that one bit.” Bonnie smiled.
“No. I know you wouldn't.” He laughed. “I'm going to go so you can get to bedâor to the sofa . . . If you can find it.”
“I'll be fine.” She followed him through the living room and to the front door.
Rohn turned as he reached for the knob. “Last chance for a comfortable bed and nice cool A/C.”
“Thank you, but I'm good here.”
“Yeah, I had a feeling you'd say that. A'ight. I'll see you soon. Borrow that truck anytime you need.”
Glancing around, she let out a short laugh. “I think I'm going to need to take you up on that offer.”