Midnight (McKenna Chronicles Book 1) (28 page)

Colin
squeezes my waist and I look to his beautiful profile, a glass of champagne
lifted to his lips. I have a sudden urge to drag him to a hidden room
somewhere, or back in the limo and peel him slowly out of his pants. He turns
at the exact moment I’m picturing him underneath me, and his eyes darken at
what I’m sure he sees in mine. I love his reaction, that he burns for me just
as I do for him.  

Thankfully
we’re interrupted so my thoughts can’t go too far astray. Colin begins a deep
discussion on addressing natural disasters with a rather large man. His red
beard gives him away as a part of the extended Kelly family.

“Will
you excuse me?” I say it to both of them, but my gaze finds Colin’s. “I need
the ladies room.”

He
tightens his grip for a second before slipping his hand from my waist.
Whispering in my ear, he says, “Hurry back, baby.” His lips barely skim against
my cheek, causing a shiver to travel unbidden down my spine.

I
flush at his tone and the sexy ass smile that flashes on his beautiful face.
Oh, he knows exactly how to jumpstart my heart and my libido. Damn him.

When
I return the room is so full I can’t find Colin with a quick perusal. Casually
I walk through the crowd, looking for him as I do, circling to the bar for a
drink. Weaving in and out of the milling people, I recognize many and catch the
eye of others who look as if they know me, hesitant smiles on their lips or
lifted hands in a half salutation. I know I haven’t met them before; the sheer
number of looks has me confused. 

As
I turn away from the bar with a drink in hand, a man with light brown hair and
honey-colored eyes is at my side.

“Hi,”
he says casually holding his hand out. “Alex Miller.” 

“Charlie
Carter.” His hand is limp; a pet peeve of mine. I dislike it when a man assumes
a woman will have a weak handshake.

“Have
we met before?” he asks, eyes stumbling as he stares at my wrist and the gift
from Colin before continuing. “You look so familiar; I just can’t place you.”

“No,
I don’t think we have. You’re a friend of Aiden's?”

“Yes,
back from college. I went to Notre Dame with Blake and Aiden.”

“Oh,
then you’re friends with Colin too?”

He
hesitates for the slightest second. “Uh, yes, with Colin and Evan.”

“It’s
so nice of you to come tonight; Colin is very appreciative of your support.”
Remembering Colin’s statement about him, I watch his face for any signs of
disloyalty, but he remains impassive.

“I
wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Alex says, scanning the room casually while
sipping his drink. “You’re a Colin McKenna supporter as well?” He smiles, his
voice remaining level with a hint of humor.

I
almost choke on my drink. “Uh, yes. McKenna for president.” I laugh and pump my
fist playfully in the air.

He
laughs too. “And you, how did you come to know Colin?”

“I…
um, I work with him on the campaign.”

He
nods, contemplating my answer. “I assumed the two of you were together when I
saw you with him earlier.” His expression is even as he sips again from his
glass.

“Oh,
I . . .” I don’t know what to say. It’s the first time I’ve been asked to
explain my relationship with Colin and I’m at a loss for words. Uncomfortable
with the topic, I rudely say, “Would you excuse me, please?”

Not
waiting for a reply I head back through the crowd, escaping the uncomfortable
feeling of not knowing where I stand. I’m so confused. Colin was very clear he
can’t offer me more than one day at a time, yet today he presents me with an
expensive gift, introduces me to his parents and is displaying affection in
public. All of these things are in complete opposition to our agreement and
right now none of it makes any sense to me.

In
my haste to escape the uncomfortable turn of conversation with Alex Miller I’ve
run back into Colin, who is deep in conversation with a stunning brunette
woman. Her eyes are deep with appreciation and the sudden burst of jealousy
flashing before my eyes proves to be another uncomfortable and confusing
reaction.

Our
gaze connects and I can see the question within the depths of his, reaching for
me, he automatically draws me near. His fingers are warm against mine; this
gesture will surely confirm Alex Miller’s suspicions.

“Excuse
us for just a moment,” Colin says pulling my hand, leaving me with little
choice but to follow. Once we’re tucked away in Blake’s vacant office he turns
to face me with guarded eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,
everything’s fine.” I try on my best light smile.

“Charlie,
I know you well enough to discern when you’re upset, and I can tell you are
now. What’s wrong?” When I hesitate again, he says in a clipped tone, “Be
honest with me.”

“Colin.”
Sighing, I give him the truth. “I don’t know how to explain to people why I’m
here and who I am to you. It’s confusing. I’ve tried to say I’m a part of the
campaign, but it’s not believable when I can’t take my eyes or my hands off of
you.” I hold up our entwined fingers as evidence of the problem.

“Don’t
complicate it, Charlie. Just be honest,” he says with a perplexed look.

My
temper flares. “Sure, great. Problem solved. I’ll tell everyone I’m fucking
their presidential hopeful. That should go over really well.”

“Why
would you say that, Charlie?” His eyes are uneasy, and he’s careful in his
approach. “It demeans what’s between us.”

“What?”
I’m flabbergasted. “Isn’t it the truth, Colin?” I wait for him to acknowledge
it and when he doesn’t, I continue. “You know it is. We were clear with each
other when this began: we’re day to day. If I recall, you said
there is no
future with me.
So I’m not speaking out of context when I say it’s hard to
explain to your family and friends I’m a temporary fuck buddy.” 

I
yank my hand from his and turn to walk away. He grabs me before I can leave,
pulling me around so our faces are inches apart. “Charlie, I don’t know what
brought this on, but right now, right here is not the time nor place to have
this conversation.” His tone holds an ounce of condescension I don’t
appreciate. “Given we’re at a fundraiser with my family and friends, this can wait
for a more appropriate time.”

“If
you don’t want to know how I feel then don’t ask the question,” I hiss.

“For
the love of God, Charlie, what do you want from me? I’m in the middle of a
campaign. I don’t want this . . .” His frustration and chagrin are apparent,
but he stops mid-sentence, running his fingers through his hair.

“You
don’t want me?” I whisper the words, stunned, never once imagining he wouldn’t.
 

“Charlie,
no.” He shakes he head vehemently. “No, that’s absolutely not what I said. I
need you.” Colin’s eyes are filled with alarm as he draws me into him. “I don’t
know what you want me to say. I’ve been honest with you. What do you want me to
say?” He fumbles and my frustration returns full force.

“Nothing,”
I seethe. “I don’t want anything from you.” As I say it I know it’s not true.
If I were honest with him and with myself I would tell him I want his heart,
not his Goddamn diamond bracelet. “I haven’t asked you for anything and
certainly not this.” I hold up my wrist in anger and exasperation.

He’s
stupefied by the comment. “You don’t like it?”

“I
don’t understand it. It’s beautiful and very, very expensive. Why would you buy
this for me?” I ask incredulously.

“Why
wouldn’t I buy it for you?”  

“Because
it’s an extravagant gift to buy a short-term mistress. It’s all very confusing;
I can’t wrap my head around any of this.”

“Charlie,
please,” he struggles to explain himself just as he did before. Resting his
hands on my waist, he stares into my eyes for a moment. “I want to give you
something, a piece of me if you will. It’s the only way I know how . . .”

I
have no heart to give.
His words haunt me. Colin can’t give me anything but
a fucking diamond bracelet and his body; days and months of starving affection
lie ahead of me. My eyes well at the thought, for as long as I’m with Colin
this is what the future holds: gifts that will never fill the void, the longing
for affection growing with each passing night. His tender, gentle touch, sweet
words and romantic gestures are the closest I’ll ever come to having something
more. This is the reality of our situation.

For
a moment I let him comfort me, reveling in his closeness and heat—in all things
Colin. Eventually leaning away from him, I gaze at his hurt expression and
place my finger over his lips to stop his heartache. “It’s nothing.”

My
fight is gone as quickly as it came; there’s nothing more to say. “I didn’t
realize I would find it difficult to explain myself to others, that’s all. I’m
not asking for anything more from you, Colin. I know your limits and for now
it’s fine.”

He
cringes, closing his eyes for a long heartbeat before saying, “I don’t want to
lose you, Charlie.” We stare at each other, rooted to the moment before I
choose to break it.

“You’re
right; this isn’t the time or the place to have this conversation. I’m sorry I
brought it up.” With my hand on his cheek, I force him to look at me. “I don’t
want to ruin our night; we’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.
Let’s go enjoy your friends.” I tug on his hand to move him away from this
uncomfortable conversation. His mouth is drawn in a straight line, the ease and
happiness from earlier completely vanished. “Please, let’s have fun.” I turn
and tug his hand so he follows.

It
takes a while, but his mood seems to lighten and I force myself to relax for
his sake. Our hands remain locked together, his thumb soothing my knuckles, but
it doesn’t reach my spirit. A large group of friends from college ensconce him,
insisting he reminisce and do a shot at the bar for old time’s sake. I wave him
away, laughing, encouraging him to enjoy the night.

Unfortunately
Alex Miller isn’t a part of the group that took Colin away and he slides up
next to me. “Charlie, I want to apologize. I think we got off on the wrong foot
and I’m hoping we can start over. I didn’t mean to imply or put you in a
difficult position.”

“No,
not at all, Alex. I’m sorry if it appeared that way. Sometimes I get
uncomfortable in large crowds.” I lie to move the topic away from Colin. “I
just needed some air.”

He
nods. “I understand completely. They’re not my favorite either.” I see the
truth to the statement in his eyes as he looks awkwardly around the room.

Colleen
and Michael thankfully find me then and Alex slips off without a word. Michael
stares after him with a troubled look on his face.

“Do
you know him?” My question draws his attention.

“Not
well.”

“But
you don’t like him?”

Colleen
answers, “Alex is friends with the Montgomerys, Abby and Ella. There’s some
history there that injured Colin. Because of it we’re not fans.”

I
draw my brow down in consternation at this news. “I was wondering about the Montgomerys;
why aren’t they here?”

“Most
of Colin’s friends aren’t thrilled about them, and neither are we. It would’ve
been very uncomfortable for everyone if they were here.”

“Why
is Colin so close with Ella and John if everyone else dislikes them? Don’t get
me wrong; the limited interaction I’ve had with them is disheartening and
they’re not on top of my Christmas card list.”

Colleen
places her slim hand on my wrist. “You’ll have to ask Colin for the specifics,
Charlie. For my part, I think John is helpful to him. He’s a very shrewd
political advisor, and Colin needs that as he maneuvers through these waters.
Ella comes with the package, I guess.” Her lips press together as she mentions
Ella’s name. Her reaction is curious. What is it about the Montgomerys no one
wants to tell me?

Colin’s
at the bar with his friends, a broad, buoyant smile on his face as he laughs. I
can’t help the smile settling on my face in response to his. I love to see him
happy and filled with laughter. Even across the room I can sense his presence,
the strange connection pulling us together, holding us captive while time
stands still around us. His eyes are drawn to mine; they're filled with
mischief, but a layer of uncertainty remains from our earlier conversation and
it saddens me we haven't fully moved past it. Raising my glass, I let him know
I’m fine. His broadening grin acknowledges me before turning back to join his
friends.  

Michael
steals away to refill our glasses leaving me alone with Colleen. She’s a
beautiful woman; her blond hair smoothed into a wavy bob, and a simple black
dress with three-quarter-length sleeves covers her petite frame. Colleen’s eyes
find mine and a congenial smile touches her lips.

“I’m
so glad Colin has finally found you, Charlie,” she says turning her head toward
him at the bar. Caught off guard by the swing in topic, I can only nod.

“He’s
been single-minded for so many years, focusing solely on his career, shut down
emotionally.” Sadness is heavy in her tone. “I want him to enjoy life again,
and he is with you. I haven’t seen him smile like this, a real smile reaching
his eyes and his heart, for a very, very long time.” Grabbing my hand in hers,
she says, “I’m so happy he has you.”

I
don’t know what to say other than the truth. “I am too. He means a lot to me,
Colleen.”

She
laughs. “That’s easy to see, Charlie. You can’t look at the two of you without
knowing you’re madly in love with him and he with you.”

She
looks into my eyes for a moment as if passing along her approval to love her
son. Confusion reigns, pummeling my heart, causing it to pound out of control.
Love Colin?

Michael
returns with the drinks, along with Blake and Carla. The conversation is
directed elsewhere, allowing me time to mull over Colleen’s insight. I try to
engage in their conversation and enjoy Carla, but it’s a lost cause.