Mia the Melodramatic (8 page)

He instantly replied:

I laughed. It was so good to be arguing with Tim again.

T
he following morning, invigorated by my courage in dealing with Tim, I was ready to take on a bigger challenge. I picked up the makeup box and dropped it in front of Zoë.

“I’m tired of dressing up as Playhouse Pal. Your scab’s all better—it’s your turn.”

“That’s cool.” Zoë shrugged as she unhooked her eyebrow ring. “But then you have to help Jan with the kids.”

Wow! I didn’t realize being assertive was so easy. I should’ve tried standing up for myself years ago. I smiled smugly and said, “Gladly. I mean, how hard can watching a bunch of five year olds be?”

“Come on, Lizzy Anna. You have to put on your costume,” I pleaded while holding up a tunic covered in black feathers.

Lizzy Anna shook her head in protest, sending her blonde braids flying. “No! I don’t want to be the crow. I want to be the cardinal.”

I sighed. “But Erin is the cardinal and the part you practiced for is the crow. You don’t even know any of the cardinal’s lines.”

“Yes, I do! I know everyone’s lines.”

“Good for you, but I was told to put the crow costume on you, so let’s go.”

As Lizzy Anna burst into a phony round of tears, I rolled my eyes.
Actors!

“Please hold still,” I said, trying to wrestle the black tunic onto Lizzy Anna’s squirmy little body.

Erin, whose hair matched the color of the coveted cardinal costume, tugged on my shirt. “Hey, lady, look at this!”

The second I turned to look, Lizzy Anna escaped my grip, ducking under the Play Wagon.

“Get back here, Lizzy Anna!” I shouted.

“Hey, lady,” Erin said again as she opened her mouth. “Look at my looth tooth.” For full effect, she wiggled it with her tongue.

My stomach rolled as her tooth dangled on a single root.

“What’s wrong, lady?” Erin asked, pushing her hanging tooth in and out with her tongue. “You look a little green.”

“Do I?” I asked, turning away from her before I tossed my Toasted Oats. I got down on my knees and tried to reason with Lizzy Anna. “Come on, sweetie. It’s time to stop playing around now.”

“Can I be the cardinal?”

“No.”

“Then I’m staying.”

I reached my arm under the Play Wagon as far as it could go, but missed her by an inch. Maybe it was time to dress someone else. I climbed off the ground and wiped the grass off my knees. Turning to the third little girl, I held out a tunic covered in yellow feathers. “Why don’t we get your costume on, Marcie?”

Marcie crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not wearing anything that isn’t pink.”

Thinking quickly, I replied, “But your jean shorts aren’t pink, and you’re wearing them.”

“It’s not my fault you can’t see magic colors. My mom sprinkled magic dust on these shorts this morning and told me they were pink. She said anyone who said otherwise was a big, fat liar.”

Impressed by Marcie’s mom’s ingenuity, I said, “You know what? Your mommy gave me some magic dust I can sprinkle on the canary costume to make it pink, too.”

She looked doubtful. “Really?”

“Sure, here it goes.” I reached in my pocket, pulled out some fuzz, and shook it on the costume.

Marcie hesitated. “It still looks yellow to me.”

“Well, it’s not my fault you can’t see magic colors,” I shot back, hoping I really had learned something during my freshman psychology class.

“Oh, now I see it!” Marcie exclaimed. “You’re right. It
is
pink!”

Before she had a change of heart, I slid Marcie’s neon yellow costume over her head. Then I turned to Lizzy Anna, who had poked her head out from under the trailer to see what was going on.

“Do you want me to sprinkle some magic dust on your costume, too?”

Lizzy Anna shook her head. “No.”

I sighed. “Why not?”

“Because magic isn’t real.”

“Is too!” Marcie insisted.

“She just said she had magic dust so you’d wear your stupid costume—duh!” Lizzy Anna said.

“Lady?” Erin tugged on my shirt again.

I looked over my shoulder. “What is it, Erin?”

“I lost my tooth!” Erin cried. Blood dripped from the now gaping hole in the front of her gums.

Forcing back the bile that had instantly risen to the top of my throat, I said, “It’s all right. Don’t cry. I’ll just go get your mom. She can clean you up and hold onto your tooth while you do your play. Then you can put your tooth under your pillow tonight for the tooth fairy.”

“But I just told you, I lost it!” Erin exclaimed as tears pooled into
the blood streaming down her chin. “It fell on the ground, and if I don’t have my tooth, the tooth fairy won’t come and I won’t get any money!”

“Don’t worry about it,” I assured her while secretly thinking how glad I was her costume was the same color as her blood. Otherwise, Nancy would probably deduct the cost of dry cleaning from my paycheck. “I’ll find your tooth and then everything will be all better.” I dropped to my knees and started combing through the grass.

“What are you looking for, Preppy?” Zoë asked as she walked around the side of the Play Wagon in full Playhouse Pal regalia. “Your dignity?”

“Erin lost her tooth in the grass and I can’t find it,” I replied, desperately digging through the grass, which looked like it hadn’t been mowed all summer. I sat back on my haunches, held up an old cigarette butt, and whispered, “You think the tooth fairy would notice the difference?”

“I can’t leave you alone for a second, can I?” Zoë said. She turned toward Erin and put her arm around her shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry about it, kid. I’m tight with the tooth fairy, and I’m sure she’ll give you money even if we can’t find your tooth. She’s really cool about stuff like that.”

Erin, using one of her wings, wiped the snot running down her nose. “Thanks.”

Zoë looked down at Lizzy Anna, who was still perched under the Play Wagon, her head propped up on her hands like she was watching some off-Broadway performance theater.

“How come you’re not dressed yet?” Zoë asked Lizzy Anna.

“Mia never told me I had to get my costume on,” she replied innocently.

I shook my head in disbelief. If Lizzy Anna didn’t make it in show business, she’d be the perfect politician someday.

“Well, now
I’m
telling you. Get dressed,” Zoë ordered. “Your play’s on first.”

Lizzy Anna obediently climbed out from under the stage and stood perfectly still as I slipped the crow costume over her head.

“Think you can handle it from here, Princess?” Zoë said.

“Yeah, I think so.” Zoë started to walk away, so I quickly added, “But I was just thinking I was a little too harsh this morning when I said you had to be Playhouse Pal all week. Maybe we can switch jobs. Tomorrow, I can be Playhouse Pal and you can watch the kids.”

Zoë smiled. “I had a feeling you’d say that.”

T
hat night, I was so tired my bones ached. It took all my energy to crawl my way over to the computer to see if Tim had sent me an e-mail. I opened the inbox, and seeing his return address, was glad I’d made the effort. I laid my head down on the desk and read,

A jolt of irritation made my skin prickle. I was glad Tim was having
a great summer and everything, but did he have to rub it in so much? I lifted my head off the desk and typed.

I re-read my message. All right, maybe that was a little too depressing. I started again.

Maybe just a little over the top. I erased it and started again.