Authors: Sherryl Woods
“I’ll do it tonight, bossy,” Paula said. “Thanks for being one of my biggest morale boosters.”
“You’d do the same for me,” Emily told her.
As she drove home, it wasn’t Paula’s low mood that was on her mind, though, it was her observation that something was going on with Marcie. As soon as she walked in the door, she picked up the phone.
“Hey,” she said when Marcie picked up, “mind if I run over for a minute?”
To her surprise, Marcie hesitated, then said, “Why don’t I come there instead? Five minutes, okay?”
“Sure,” Emily said, then slowly hung up, trying to recall the last time Marcie had wanted to stop by her house for a late-afternoon visit, rather than having Emily come over.
She waited until she saw Marcie coming through the hedge, then called out, “How about lemonade? I just bought a carton at the store yesterday and I don’t think the kids have been into it yet.”
“Sounds good. Did you see Paula today?”
“Just left her,” Emily confirmed as she went inside and took the carton from the refrigerator.
“Was her mood any better than it was this morning? She was pretty down.”
“The same this afternoon, but we talked a little and I think she felt better by the time I left.” She poured the
lemonade over ice and put the glasses on the table, then sat down to join Marcie. “So, how are you? We haven’t had a minute to catch up for a couple of weeks now. How’d your mammogram go?”
“It was fine. Yours?”
“Okay, thank goodness, though I am not anxious to repeat the experience anytime soon.” She studied Marcie’s face and thought she detected a shadow of worry in her eyes. “Everything else okay?”
“Sure.”
“Really? You look as if something’s on your mind.”
Marcie’s smile seemed forced. “Not at all. I’ve just been very busy. Ken’s going out on his own, which means there are a thousand and one details for me to follow through on.”
Emily regarded her with surprise. “He’s opening his own company? When did that happen?”
Marcie avoided her gaze. “Oh, he’s been thinking about it forever and the time seemed right.”
Emily wasn’t buying it. There was something Marcie wasn’t saying, but obviously whatever it was she didn’t want to share it with Emily. “That’s great,” she said with feigned enthusiasm. “He must be excited.”
“And more demanding than usual,” Marcie said, her expression wry. “We’ve been looking at office space and picking out furniture. I could do all of that for him, but he insists on second-guessing every decision I make.”
“You’re not thinking of going to work for him, are you?” Emily asked.
Again, Marcie avoided meeting her gaze. “Just for a few weeks till things settle down.”
“Oh, Marcie, are you sure that’s wise?” she blurted before she could stop herself.
Marcie stiffened. “What do you mean?”
“Just that he can be awfully hard to please.”
“Don’t I know it,” Marcie agreed, visibly relaxing. “But it will only be for a little while, then he’ll find someone permanent.”
“Not if you do the same superb job for him at the office that you do at home,” Emily commented.
For the first time since she’d arrived, Marcie’s smile was genuine. “Honey, don’t you know by now that I am smart enough not to let that happen? I’ve lived with the man for more than fifteen years. I know exactly how to get him to replace me when I’m ready to go.”
Emily laughed. “That’s good then.”
“Everything okay around here?” Marcie asked. “The kids say Derek has been gone for a couple of weeks now. That’s even longer than usual, isn’t it?”
Emily’s good mood faded. “Yes, and it’s getting really old. I hardly feel as if I’m married anymore. Josh is getting to the age when he needs his dad around more than ever, but I can’t even catch up with Derek half the time to tell him what’s going on with his son, much less get his advice on how to handle it. Then when he is here, the kids have figured out how to play us off against one another because they know we never have time to come up with a joint plan. And Derek will always agree to whatever they ask, because he feels guilty about being gone. I’m sick of having to be the bad guy all the time.”
Marcie frowned. “I’ve never heard you say a word against your husband before.”
“I’ve never been this frustrated before,” Emily admitted. “I think watching Dave hover over Paula has made me realize what’s missing in my marriage. Derek
is a wonderful man in many ways, but he and I simply don’t have a real partnership. I wanted that from my marriage.”
“What are you going to do about it?” Marcie asked. “Have you told Derek how you feel?”
“More times than I can count. He just keeps saying things will get better. I’m rapidly losing patience.”
“You’re not thinking about divorcing him, are you?” Marcie asked, her tone hushed as if she hated to even speak the word.
Emily sighed. “I honestly have no idea what I’m going to do,” she said. “But I’m getting really tired of the status quo.”
And if Derek wasn’t motivated to change it, one of these days she would have to.
“What about a trial separation?” Marcie asked. “Maybe that would be just the wake-up call he needs.”
Emily shot her a look filled with irony. “We’re separated all the time as it is.”
“This would be different,” Marcie insisted. “But, okay, what about counseling?”
“I suggested it, and Derek even agreed to consider it, but every time I scheduled an appointment, we had to cancel because of one of his business trips. When I pointed out to him that that was exactly the problem with our lives, he accused me of not supporting his career the way he’s supported mine. Then he had the audacity to suggest that if I hadn’t gone back into teaching, I could have been traveling with him.”
“Maybe he had a point,” Marcie suggested.
“Oh, please, have you forgotten we have two children?” Emily retorted, as irritated now as she had been when Derek had made his outrageous claim. “What
are we supposed to do with them if both of us go gallivanting off all over the place? Park them with you?”
“You could have,” Marcie said.
“No,” Emily replied fiercely. “It is not up to you to raise my kids.”
Marcie reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Just don’t do anything rash, okay? Derek’s a great guy. You know that.”
“I do know,” Emily said with a sigh. “That’s why this is so awful.”
But more and more she was convinced that divorce might be the only way out.
Six months later, when Josh was fifteen and Dani thirteen, Emily finally called it quits with her marriage. She’d tired of the loneliness, of Derek’s long absences on business trips. All the money in the world couldn’t compensate for the sense that she was the only one truly giving anything to their relationship.
As she sat at Marcie’s kitchen table, tears rolled down her cheeks. It didn’t matter that the decision was right. It still hurt.
“I don’t know what else to do,” she told Marcie. “Am I wrong for wanting more out of my marriage? Nothing I’ve said has made one bit of difference with Derek. Nothing’s changed.”
Marcie gave her a sympathetic look. “No,” she said softly. “But you’re braver than I am. I don’t think I could face being on my own. What would I do?”
For an instant, Emily was snapped out of her own troubles. “Are you and Ken having problems? You always seem so cheerful.” In fact, she’d often wondered how Marcie stayed so upbeat when her husband was
such a jerk. Ever since Ken had opened his own office, he’d been worse than ever. Marcie had worked for him for exactly two weeks before she’d insisted on hiring her own replacement.
Marcie regarded her with a wry expression. “Cheerful is in my job description. Do everything around here, keep a perfect house, fix perfect meals, raise perfect children, and smile no matter what. Heaven forbid, anyone see a crack in the image of a perfect family.”
It was the first time that Emily had detected even a trace of bitterness in her friend. “I had no idea you were so unhappy. I mean I know he drove you nuts at work, but I thought everything else was solid. I guess we’ve both done a pretty good job of covering, even with each other.”
“Some things you don’t share, not even with best friends,” Marcie said. “And I’m not unhappy. Not really. I’m just having one of those days, I suppose.” She waved off the comment before Emily could respond, then forced a smile. “Enough about me. Are you really going to ask Derek for a divorce?”
“Ask? No, I think this is one time when I’ll tell him how it’s going to be.” She gave Marcie a rueful smile. “You know the really sad part? He’ll be shocked.”
“Then maybe that will give you a chance. You’ll have his full attention.”
Emily shook her head. “It won’t be enough to make him change and since I can’t change my expectations, it’s too late. I just have to accept that it’s over.”
To Emily’s regret, she was right. Derek was stunned when she told him she intended to file for divorce, but he didn’t even waste his breath protesting that he would
change when they both knew the words would be little more than empty promises. He just quietly packed his bags and moved to a suite in a hotel closer to his office.
The kids seemed to take it in stride, too, since little changed around the house. They’d grown accustomed to their father being gone on the most important occasions of their lives. He hadn’t been in town for a birthday or school assembly or awards ceremony in years.
The divorce was accomplished with a minimum of fuss and hardly any lingering resentment. Perhaps that was the saddest part of all.
As she and Derek left the courthouse, she regarded him closely for any sign that he regretted the dissolution of their marriage as much as she did. Instead, he looked as if he were in his usual hurry to be somewhere else.
“I don’t suppose you want to go somewhere for coffee and talk about this,” she said.
He studied her blankly for a minute. “This?”
“How our lives are going to change now. When you’re going to see the kids. That kind of thing.”
“I thought we’d work it out as we go,” he said. “We don’t need some sort of formal agreement, do we?”
Emily sighed. “No, of course not.”
He gave her a distracted kiss on the cheek as if they were separating till dinner, rather than for the rest of their lives.
“I’ll be in touch,” he said. “Call me if you or the kids need anything.”
She watched him stride off and tried to remember how she’d ever fallen in love with a man capable of such a total lack of emotion. The last time she’d seen Derek’s eyes shine with excitement or enthusiasm, he’d been talking about some deal he’d made, not looking at her or the kids at all.
She told herself she was well rid of him, that her future was brighter without him, that she could cope with raising the kids on her own since she’d been doing it that way for years anyway.
By the time she got home, she’d convinced herself that she was just fine. She threw her purse on the kitchen table, walked outside and crossed the yard and went straight to Marcie’s back door. It opened before she could knock and Marcie held out her arms. Emily stepped into the embrace and burst into tears.
“It’s over,” she whispered. “In the blink of an eye, it was just over, almost as if it didn’t even matter.”
“Of course it mattered,” Marcie said fiercely. “You and Derek had some good times, you know you did. And you have two amazing kids. How could that not matter?”
“It doesn’t to Derek,” she said with a sniff.
“I doubt that.”
“He walked away without a second glance. He was already thinking about his next meeting.”
“Which is exactly why you divorced him,” Marcie reminded her. “But that doesn’t mean it was always that way. You’re allowed to mourn the good memories, even while you curse his black soul for making you so miserable.”
Emily grinned through her tears. “Curse his black soul? Where’d you come up with that one? Did Caitlyn sneak one of my historical romance novels over to you? Besides, he hasn’t made me miserable. He left me feeling nothing and that’s a thousand times worse.”
“I’m sorry,” Marcie said, then gave her a hesitant look. “I baked a cake for the occasion.”
Emily laughed. Leave it to the ultimate planner to
have thought of that. “Of course, you did. Are we having a party, too?”
“I have half-a-dozen people on standby if you want one,” Marcie said. “Should I call them?”
“What the hell,” Emily replied. “Somebody needs to mark the occasion. Make those calls.” She hesitated. “What about the kids?”
“Paula and I have that covered. Dave’s taking all of them out to a ball game and pizza after. We thought it would be a good distraction for Dani and Josh. Okay with you?”
“What would I do without friends like you guys?”
“Have a pity party all alone?” Marcie suggested.
“Probably,” Emily agreed. “But there wouldn’t be cake.”
M
arcie was at her wit’s end. If Ken had been obsessed with work before, he was now a thousand times worse. Hardly a night passed when he didn’t have a business dinner and even weekends were spent playing golf with clients, then hanging around the club to have drinks.
At first, she’d anticipated that she’d be as busy as he was, entertaining the way she’d always done, but to her dismay he took his clients to restaurants. It was rare that he even thought to include her. It left her at loose ends and with the kids getting older, she had fewer and fewer demands on her time. Neither Evan nor Caitlyn appreciated a gourmet meal, when they could grab a burger with their friends. She’d even cut back on her baking, since she was almost the only one eating the cookies, cakes and pies. She still kept something on hand for Emily’s visits, but lately both of them had started worrying about their weight. More and more, brownies, lemon bars and decadent chocolate cake were guilty pleasures reserved for special occasions.
Today, though, she simply didn’t give a darn about any of that. She’d baked a key lime pie, her personal favorite, and if she wanted to sit at the kitchen table and
eat the whole thing, then who was going to stop her? She was on her second slice when Emily walked in.
“Uh-oh,” she said, observing the pie. “What’s wrong?”
“It has just dawned on me that I am obsolete,” Marcie told her, taking another bite of pie.
Emily frowned at the comment. “By whose assessment?” she asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee from the fresh pot Marcie had brewed a few minutes earlier.
“Mine.”
“Okay, let me get this straight. You’re a wife, a mother, an active volunteer in the school and yet somehow you’ve decided you don’t matter?”
“Pretty much,” Marcie said, shoving the remaining three-quarters of the pie across the table. “Help yourself.”
“I don’t think so, because obviously some ingredient in that pie has addled your brain.”
“No, hear me out,” Marcie told her. “Ken’s completely consumed with work and he doesn’t even need me to entertain his clients anymore. Evan’s either playing football, practicing football or chasing girls. He manages to find sufficient time in there to keep his grades up, but the only things he needs me for are laundry and the occasional infusion of cash.”
Emily nodded. “Okay, I do recognize those symptoms. Josh is almost as bad, though he does expect me to get breakfast on the table for him and to keep the refrigerator stocked with milk and the cupboard filled with bread and peanut butter. Under duress, he will actually hold a conversation with me that consists of more than monosyllables and grunts.”
Marcie gestured with her fork. “See, I told you. You’re only marginally better off than I am. The big difference is that Dani still needs you and you have your job.”
“Well, I’m sure Caitlyn still needs you. She’s fourteen, even younger than Dani.”
“In Caitlyn’s case, she’s fourteen going on thirty. She’s convinced I know absolutely nothing of value. I suspect she talks to you more than she does to me.”
Emily flushed.
“See, I knew it!” Marcie said.
“Well, Dani probably talks to you more than she does to me,” Emily countered. “That’s typical. It hardly means you’re obsolete.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do with my time? It’s not as if they’re looking for room-mothers for the seniors, or even for the eighth-graders. I offered to chaperon a field trip the other day and Caitlyn pitched a fit. She said she would be totally humiliated if I did that.”
“And you interpreted that to mean what?” Emily asked. “That she was rejecting you? Embarrassed by you?”
“Both of those,” Marcie said.
“She’s just struggling to find her independence,” Emily corrected. “It has nothing to do with you, so don’t take it personally. Trust me, at that age none of the kids want their parents to chaperon anything, which is why teachers end up doing it.”
Marcie knew she was probably right. Emily had a lot more experience dealing with teenage angst than she did. That still didn’t give her a clue about what she was supposed to do with all this time she suddenly had on her hands.
“Okay, I’ll concede that I’m probably overreacting,” she said finally. “But I honestly have no idea what to do to fill my days.”
“Get a job,” Emily suggested.
“Please,” Marcie scoffed. “Doing what?”
“Anything you want to do. Get a real estate license. Take classes and get licensed as an interior designer. You’d be great at that. Open a catering business or a bakery. There are probably a thousand things you could do. You just have to choose something that excites you.”
“Other than a few years working retail when we were first married and the two whole weeks I worked for Ken, I don’t exactly have a stellar résumé.”
“Which is why opening something of your own would be ideal,” Emily said enthusiastically. “Ken’s business is on a solid footing now, isn’t it? You could afford to take a risk.”
“I suppose,” Marcie said, but with little conviction. She’d never been much of a risk taker. She’d liked being a housewife and mom. It had been challenging and rewarding. Any other work sounded like drudgery.
Still, Emily wasn’t letting up. “Talk to Ken,” she prodded. “See what he says.”
“I know what he’ll say. He’ll tell me I already have a job running this house. The possibility that he might have to remember to take out the trash or call the plumber would horrify him.”
“He’d want you to be happy, though, wouldn’t he?”
“Of course,” Marcie said a little too quickly, then added candidly, “as long as it doesn’t inconvenience him.” She met Emily’s gaze. “The thing of it is, I already
know
what makes me happy. I just don’t see any way to get it back again without getting pregnant and having another child.”
Emily stared at her as if she’d suddenly grown two heads. “You wouldn’t!”
“Believe me, I’ve considered it,” Marcie said. She jabbed her fork into the pie and stuffed another bite in her mouth.
Emily studied her worriedly, then grabbed the remainder of the pie and dumped it in the sink.
“What are you doing?” Marcie cried out, appalled.
“Getting rid of this before you kill yourself with an overdose of sugar,” she said as she turned on the garbage disposal.
Apparently satisfied that she’d rid Marcie of temptation, Emily faced her with a stern expression. “Tomorrow morning I expect you to get out of this house and volunteer for something.”
Marcie stared at her blankly. “What?”
“Doesn’t matter. Anything that will make you feel useful and get you out of this mood. And tell your kids they’re having dinner at home tomorrow night and at least three nights a week from now on.”
“They’ll hate it.”
“They’ll deal. Tell Evan he needs good nutrition at least that often to keep his body in shape for football and tell Caitlyn she’s expected to be here because you say so. Be tough. Tell them neither one of them gets a dime for spending money if they don’t follow house rules. That ought to whip them right into shape.”
Marcie bit back a grin, her mood lifting ever so slightly.
“I can do that.”
“Of course, you can. I’ll be back tomorrow for a full report. The kids might be growing up, but there’s no reason you need to let them go one second sooner than
you absolutely have to. They still need to know that their mom and dad are in charge.” She gave Marcie a curious look. “Think Ken will back you up?”
“He will if he expects to have sex anytime in the next twenty years,” Marcie said, then chuckled. “God, I feel better already.”
“Then my work here is done,” Emily said, giving her a hug. “Call if you need backup.”
“Just knowing I have it should do the trick,” Marcie told her.
Maybe she wasn’t quite obsolete, after all.
Dani couldn’t recall a time when she hadn’t been in and out of the Carter house as if it were her own. Caitlyn was her very best friend. They shared all their secrets, excluding the fact that Dani had a crush on Caitlyn’s big brother. It was something she would never in a million years have told her mom or her own brother. And it had seemed totally weird to tell Caitlyn.
She wasn’t entirely sure when she’d first looked at Evan and realized what a hunk he was. For a long time, he’d been like a brother, in other words a nuisance most of the time. Then one day she’d seen him with a bunch of girls at school and taken a good long look at him. He was hot! His body had filled out with muscle. He had the most amazing brown eyes, like chocolate, she thought dreamily. They were such a contrast to his blond hair, that turned really, really pale after he’d been outside in the sun for days on end. She didn’t care that much about football, which was his passion, but she knew enough to know he was good. Really good. She’d clipped half-a-dozen articles from the local paper about what a hot college prospect he was. She kept them in an
old jewelry box under her bed, so no one in her family would see them.
After she’d pretty much been hit by some bolt of lightning, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She started getting these fluttery sensations in the pit of her stomach whenever he was around. She started doing dumb stuff, hoping he’d notice her, wearing the skimpiest bikini her mom would let her get away with, doing cannonballs in the pool, hanging out at football practice or at the Carters’ even more than usual. Evan could usually be found in the den watching movies once his homework was done. More than once she’d convinced Caitlyn to join him and hang out.
Unfortunately, Caitlyn had picked up on Dani’s interest, not Evan. The other day she’d called Dani on it.
“Do you have a thing for my brother?” she asked when they’d been in the Carters’ pool for hours and Josh and Evan had gone inside to grab snacks for all four of them.
“Quiet,” Dani said, mortified. “Do you want Evan to hear you?”
“Sorry, but you were acting all goofy. You’ve been doing that a lot lately when Evan’s around.”
“Well, you have to admit your brother’s pretty cool. Why wouldn’t I notice him?”
“You and every other girl,” Caitlyn said. “He must get, like, a hundred calls a night on his cell phone. I don’t get it myself. He’s a pain.”
“That’s just because he’s your brother. He’s cute and he’s smart.”
“And older than you. You’re wasting your time getting hung up on him. He thinks of you like a kid sister, same as me.”
Dani couldn’t deny it, but she still harbored hope that one day he’d wake up and notice her. After all she was underfoot all the time. Just last week he’d taken her and Caitlyn to the movies and decided at the last minute to see it with them. He’d even bought them drinks and popcorn. It had felt almost like a date. She’d put the movie stub into her treasure box with the clippings.
Afterward, though, Josh had gotten all weird when he’d heard about it. He’d come charging home and confronted her.
“I hope you’re not thinking about hanging out with Evan,” he said heatedly. “If you are, forget about it.”
“What difference does it make to you?” she demanded. “You’re not my keeper.”
“No, but I am your big brother. It’s my job to look out for you. Evan’s too old for you.”
“He’s eighteen,” Dani retorted. “Same as you.”
“And you’re sixteen.”
“I’m old enough to date.”
“Not Evan,” Josh repeated, his expression grim. “I mean it, Dani. Stay away from him. He’s trouble.”
She had no idea what he meant. The two of them hung out all the time. “That’s not a very nice thing to say,” she said. “He’s supposed to be your best friend.”
“It’s one thing to hang out with a guy. It’s another thing to let him spend time with your sister. Take my word for it, okay? Evan’s too experienced for you. Forget about him.”
“No, it is not okay,” Dani said stubbornly. “I’ll hang out with any guy I want to.”
Josh flushed. “If you don’t listen to me, I’ll talk to Mom. She’ll make you listen. Are we clear?”
Since having her mom find out that she was crazy
about Evan was the last thing Dani wanted, she promised Josh she’d steer clear of him. He didn’t need to know that she’d kept her fingers crossed behind her back when she said it.
Now Caitlyn gave her the same dismayed look that Josh had given her.
“Forget about him, Dani,” she said with surprising urgency. “He’s not good enough for you.”
Dani regarded her with a puzzled expression. “How can you say something like that about your own brother?”
“Because I know him better than you do,” Caitlyn said. “He’s not always this nice guy, superjock, the way he pretends to be around your house.”
“You’re just saying that because he thinks you’re a pest,” Dani accused.
“No,” Caitlyn said emphatically. “Besides, it would be weird if you were dating my brother. Find some other guy to date and forget about Evan. Please.”
But of course, all those warnings accomplished was to make Evan more intriguing than ever. And luckily, because Evan and her brother still hung out together almost every day, there were plenty of opportunities for Dani to spend some time with him and find out for herself if he was the terrific guy she thought he was. Getting time alone with him was trickier, but one of these days she’d accomplish that, too.
It was the final football game of the season and the last of Evan’s high school career. Everyone at school was speculating that he’d have offers from the University of Miami, Florida and Florida State, but the coach had predicted he’d also be sought after by some top-notch out-of-state schools.
“Are you going to the game tonight?” Paula asked Emily that afternoon.
“Of course. I’d probably go anyway, but the fact that it’s Evan’s last game means that the Carters are making a big deal out of it. They’re having a party for the team afterward at their house. Marcie’s in her element. She’s been planning it for weeks. She went over the menu with Evan so many times, he finally told her to just order pizza, because she was making him nuts.”
Paula winced. “How’d she take that?”
“Oh, she brushed it off, and just made the next five versions of the menu on her own with a little input from Josh. He came home scratching his head one day and asked me what the hell pâté is. When I told him, he made a gagging sound and told me to call Marcie and tell her absolutely not, no way was she to serve anything that disgusting, to stick to chips and dip. I think she’s concluded that both our sons have no class whatsoever.”