Memoirs of a Porcupine (3 page)

 

 

I don't know if you noticed a remarkable thing this morning, when I began talking to you, I didn't want to draw your attention to the fact, but I noticed a rather elderly lizard coming towards
me, he stopped a few metres away, looked behind him, put out his tongue, waved his tail, I saw his eyes staring in amazement, as though he'd been turned into a statue of salt, terrified at the sight of me chatting away to myself, he took a risk and darted off down a rat hole, I laughed like a hyena, because I hadn't had a good laugh like that for a long time, but I quickly put a lid on it because there are people in our village who've died of laughing, and when I think of that poor lizard I wonder if perhaps it was the first time he'd ever come across an animal acting like a human being, speaking coherently, nodding in approval, waving one of his paws in the air to swear an oath, I felt quite sorry for the poor reptile, even though our governor had often said that when I was small I was scared stiff of lizards, the one this morning must have thought he was dreaming, I just went on talking to you, as though it was all quite normal.

 

 

it wasn't by chance I came to hide beneath you, I decided the moment I saw you, while making my way along the river's edge, I thought, I'll go and shelter there, the fact is, I want the benefit of your ancestral experience, just from the folds around your trunk it's clear you must have had to learn to live with the changing seasons, even your roots spread wide and deep in the belly of the earth, and every now and then you move your branches to change the direction of the wind, and remind all nature that a long life like yours comes from keeping silent, and here I am, for porcupine's sake, chattering away, startled by the slightest leaf that flutters from your crown, just let me take a few breaths before I carry on, I'm panting a little, ideas rush and crowd my mind, I think since this morning I've been talking too fast, I'd
like to drink a little water, I'll just take a few sips of the dew around me on the grass, I'm not going to risk wandering away from you, believe me

how I left the animal world

how long ago it seems, that time when I left my own habitat, and drew close to the boy child I knew affectionately as ‘little Kibandi', it's been many years since then, but memories remain, as clear as if it was yesterday, at that time Kibandi and his parents lived in the north of the country, far from here, in Mossaka, a wet region, with giant trees, crocodiles, and turtles as big as mountains, the time had come for me to leave the animal world, and embark on my existence as a double, I had to reveal myself to my young master, and little Kibandi
sensed
I was there, from the moment I started to make him feel my presence, trying to throw a little light on his existence, I don't know what would have happened if we hadn't bonded almost immediately, I came at just the right moment, he was ten years old, the required age for receiving a harmful double, and when I arrived at the gates of his village in the North, I saw the little pup, standing behind his father, like his shadow, I felt sorry for the child, he'd just had his initiation, he couldn't control the drunkenness brought on by the
mayamvumbi,
his father had just put him through a great test, a new world lay before him, he had become a new creature, the fragile thing the villagers of Mossaka could see behind Papa Kibandi was only a puppet now, a kind of hollow container, the contents of which had
evaporated, he was just biding his time, till he met his double, when the two would merge and become one, he couldn't sleep, poor little Kibandi, he was so busy struggling with the effects of the ritual drink, and all this time I was getting more and more frantic out there in the in the forest, the bush pressed in upon me, I couldn't bear to be there, I was trying to get out, so I could go and live near my young master's village, at that time I didn't know I would incur the wrath of the old porcupine who used to rule over us, who did nothing but rail against humans, from sunrise to sunset

 

 

this was the most turbulent time of my life, when I had to weigh up the demands of the child and our little family of porcupines, I put up with the governor's rages, as he became increasingly intransigent, as though he had got wind of the huge changes taking place in my life, as though he'd guessed what was going to happen to me, he held more and more meetings, sneering down at us, raising his voice, with affected gestures, stroking his little beard with his claws, then crossing his front paws, his snout pointed skywards, in imitation of some human being calling on Nzambi Ya Mpunga, no point our saying anything, he always had the last word, for example, he'd tell us such and such a river used to flow round the other way and when we asked the old guy how long it had taken for the water to make this spectacular change in direction, he'd toss his worn out quills, make a show of closing his eyes and thinking, point to the sky, it made me roar with laughter, and then he got angry and began to threaten us, issuing an ultimatum we all knew by heart, ‘if that's how it is, then that's the last time I'll tell you anything about men and their
ways, you're just plain ignorant', and when we went on laughing he'd add enigmatically, ‘when the wise man points to the moon, the fool looks at his finger', but when he saw I was still keen to go check out what the monkeys' cousins were up to, the aged porcupine flew into a rage, telling his stooges to keep a close paw on me, could he possibly have known I was due to enter upon the scene, now young Kibandi had drunk his initiatory drink, he'd no idea, my dear Baobab, when I left I did it discreetly, sometimes with the connivance of two or three sidekicks, who wanted to hear from me how it really was with humans, because the aged porcupine always tended to exaggerate, and almost seemed to be calling for a war between the animal and human species, I would vanish into the bush for whole days and nights and it got so that that I only felt at ease when I was close to my future master's village, whenever I got back home I found the governor in a rage, calling me every name under the sun, and to further tarnish my image, he'd tell my sidekicks that too much contact with humans had sent me mad, I was heading straight for the fox's jaws, soon I'd have forgotten our ways, I would lose touch with what made us the most noble animals in the bush, he swore, our aged philosopher, that one day I'd get caught in one of those traps men leave in the bush, or worse still, even fall into the silly traps set by the kids from Mossaka, who knew how to capture birds with one of their mother's aluminium bowls, and the other porcupines all laughed themselves silly, because they too considered it better to fall into a trap set by a real hunter than one left by a human being who wasn't yet weaned from its mother's breast, you'd always see them at the gates of the village in the North, but I must say, dear Baobab, that only the birds of Mossaka got caught that way, and mostly the sparrows, who are
the stupidest birds round here, I wouldn't like to generalize and say all vertebrates with feathers, beaks and anterior limbs used for flight are that stupid, oh no, I'm sure there are some intelligent species of bird, but the sparrows of Mossaka had such a low IQ that I actually felt sorry for them, sparrows the whole world over must be the same, I can see they must be cut off from the reality of life on earth, constantly flitting here and there, that's who the children of the North had laid their traps for, the little humans, in the middle of nowhere, had these bowls, propped up with a piece of wood, and round them they tied a long piece of string you could hardly see, and they hid in the undergrowth about a hundred metres off, and, drawn by the seed left round the bowls, the poor things jostled and chirruped up in the tree tops then would suddenly all drop to earth at once, without setting up some lookouts to tell them if something was up, then the kids would tug the string of their silly traps and the sparrows would suddenly find themselves imprisoned under the container, but what was strange, dear Baobab, was that none of them had any sense of the danger, which would have been obvious to any animal, even the ones with no common sense at all, it didn't occur to the birds for a moment that it was a bit strange to find a container sitting in the middle of nowhere, that seeds lying on the ground, untouched by other birds, might be a bit suspicious, I never got caught out myself, otherwise I wouldn't be here talking to you now, and so my fellow porcupines, indoctrinated by the governor, were convinced I would get caught in one of these traps, ‘the drum is made from the skin of the fawn that strays from its mother', our Australopithecus was wont to say, thinking I wouldn't understand what he meant, and this remark created a great stir within in the group, some of my colleagues
repeated it everywhere they went, imitating the patriarch's gestures, teasing me, even, calling me ‘the fawn', until one day I got so irritated by their jokes, which did not seem in the least bit funny to me, I explained that the fawn was the young of a wild animal, a deer, a buck or roe, whereas I was in fact a porcupine, and proud of it too

once it becomes the harmful double of a human being, an animal has to leave its natural milieu, its family, so my separation from the members of our group occurred down in Mossaka, but considering that porcupines are reputed to be solitary animals, we were fortunate to live in a community, and every evening the old governor held a meeting, made a few general remarks, I could tell he was covertly talking about me, saying no one was irreplaceable in the forest, that he'd known a few jumped up porcupines in his time, he knew how to put them back in their place, and when I didn't react, he became more pointed, muttering things about ‘the fish that proudly dallies in the feeder stream one day ends up salted on a slab in the market', he hastened to remind us that I was an orphan, without him I wouldn't have been a live porcupine at all, he said my procreators were as stubborn as me, that they left this earth shortly after my arrival, I was scarcely three weeks old, our governor boasted of how he had taken me in, along with his female mate, now deceased, and he went into how I used to defecate the whole day long, I was a lazy good for nothing, scared of baby lizards, and the others all laughed loudly, and it was from him I learned about the ways of my parents, it seemed they liked to mingle with the human race,
they'd disappear by night and go wandering among the humans in Mossaka, returning at dawn the following day, tired out, with red eyes, muddy paws, and spend the whole day sleeping like dormice, the governor couldn't understand it, I had begun to piece their lives together bit by bit, I no longer doubted it, they were harmful doubles, I reached this conclusion the day I felt the call of young Kibandi myself, I accepted the idea that I was descended from a line of porcupines whose destiny was to serve humans beings, not for better, but for worse, for the very worst, and each time I heard the governor talking about the death of my parents it made me angry, he claimed to have tried to spy on them one night, to find to where they went in such a hurry, but they'd given him the slip between two clumps of trees because the old guy already had trouble with his eyes, even back then, a week went by, they heard nothing, then came the dark day, the eighth day since their disappearance, the fateful day when an owl with an injured claw, crushed in a man-made trap, flew over our patch, come, so it seemed, to announce to the governor the sad news already on the lips of most of the animals in our region, he told him that a hunter had killed my parents not far from Mossaka, the whole herd had to move on in a hurry, and find a new patch, a few kilometres away

 

 

even so, I ignored what had happened to my parents, since I'd never known them, I let the old governor say what he wanted to the others, I went with my own instincts, and vanished from the bush more and more often, I left no gaps between trips now, and for the first time I disappeared for four days and nights running, I just kept on going straight, it was an overpowering urge, and
my comrades started panicking, they looked everywhere for me, they searched the groves round where we often drank, while one of us watched out for hunters lying in ambush round about, but I wasn't there, and finally, in desperation, they made enquiries of the other members of our kind, but they couldn't think of any porcupine that matched their description, some said that when I moved I had a way of sniffing every square centimetre of ground, others added that I usually hid behind trees as though always on the look out for danger, and on that day the governor specified that I moved like a porcupine whose paw has been crushed in a trap of the kind laid by a little chap still sucking his mother's breast, according to him I limped, I hobbled, and several of my comrades shouted him down, as this was a whopping great lie, and they went on looking, because they were fond of me, and as I had always liked to burrow into the hollow of trees, especially trees like you, they first went to look inside baobab trunks, then inside the palm trees nearby, and in so doing invaded the privacy of some squirrels who were quick to chuck palm nuts at their heads, followed by a string of insults in their own tongue, and meanwhile, I was somewhere near Mossaka, trying to absorb the child whose double I was going to become, I had a vague idea of what he was like because he'd appear to me in dreams at dead of night, and from somewhere would come this vibration inside of me, only known to animals predisposed to fuse with a human being, I wanted to be sure not to get the wrong kid, I didn't imagine for a moment I'd be hanging around indefinitely in Mossaka, that I'd be leaving my comrades for ever

in fact, dear Baobab, when I left our territory I had not intended to leave for ever, I swear I liked communal life, I was convinced that I could lead a double life, one at night, and the other by day, that I could both stay close to my master and continue to hang out with my comrades, which turned out, alas, to be incompatible with the reality of being a double, and it was when I made the trip to Mossaka that I first felt the influence of the liquid Kibandi had just been made to drink, and I began to vomit, my head started swimming, my vision blurred, my quills grew heavy, I could only keep my eyes fixed straight ahead, rather as though the child was calling for my help, he needed me, I ought to be there, or something dire might happen to him, his life was in my paws, when I breathed I was breathing for him, I was him, and he was me, I had to get to him as fast as possible or something dreadful would happen, my heart was fit to burst, I'd forgotten who I was, where I was, and why I was going to Mossaka, I just had to move forward, walk, advance, follow the path before me, I had kilometres and kilometres to go, of course I couldn't get there that day, but I needed to make a start, and as it was raining that day, once I got halfway there I was obliged to shelter for the night in a cave, till the next day, I should say that I don't like rain much, a number
of my fellows have been swept away into the Niari waterfalls and drowned, and inside I found nothing but toads and small mice, whom I was able to intimidate, I got to the outskirts of Mossaka the next day at sunset, and when I finally reached the gates of the village, exhausted, dribbling at the mouth, barely able to keep my eyes open, I went to sleep at the back of a house not far from a river which I had not seen till now, it was a branch of the Niari which cuts the region in two, and there I rested, thinking I would take my time staking out the Kibandi house the next morning, because by night there'd be the risk of hunters or Batéké dogs, and in the middle of the night I felt a strong draught of air, dead leaves were rising upwards, then a strange noise as though something was coming towards me, ‘for porcupine's sake, it's a man, it's a man, he's seen me and he's going to kill me, I must flee', I said to myself, panicking suddenly, I was determined to leave my hiding place as quickly as possible, and save my skin, but alas I was paralysed, I couldn't move any of my feet, as though I'd been put to sleep, I was wrong in fact, it was the noise of an
animal
moving about, so I put up my quills without first identifying the animal, which was coming closer and closer, I hoped he'd be stupider than me, that he'd be scared of quills, I was ready to throw them if necessary because unlike most of my kind I know how to, but I didn't have to go that far, the cake wasn't worth the candle, I took a deep breath, and was reassured when I finally saw the animal before me, I almost burst out laughing, almost proved the governor right when he said that during the first few months of my life I would panic even if I saw a baby lizard, there was no need to freak out that day, it was just a lousy rat that looked as though he'd taken a wrong turning and found himself face to face with me, I took
pity on him, maybe he wanted directions, I couldn't help him, I didn't know the place myself, and then I thought better of it, the rat seemed pretty strange, he moved at a slug's pace, a sign of age, perhaps, which had robbed him of the use of his back legs, this was not a rat like other rats, he was there for a reason, perhaps to kill me, stop me getting to the Kibandi child, he was challenging me now, with his protruding eyes, he drew back his lips, I stayed still as marble, so he would see I was not frightened of a mere rat from Mossaka, that I'd seen far scarier ones than him in my time, and he circled round me, sniffed my sex, licked it, then vanished through a hole in a shack about a hundred metres away, and I finally realised that this was the shack I was looking for, the old rat was the harmful double of Papa Kibandi, he had come to make sure of my status as double to his son, this was the end of the transmission process which had started with the absorption of the initiatory drink, and that's how transmission takes place, first between the humans, from initiator to initiate, with the absorption of the
mayamvumbi
, then between the animals, the animal double of the initiator must lick the sex of the animal double of his young initiate, in fact the double of Papa Kibandi had wanted to make sure that the animal who would live with his son was courageous, an animal who could keep his cool when faced with danger, if I'd had shown the slightest sign of panic, if I'd tried to make a run for it he'd have wiped me out, not a moment's hesitation, and things had turned out well for him, dear Baobab