Meet Me In Alaska (BWWM Pregnancy Romance) (6 page)

Chapter 10

“Malia, wait.” His voice went right through me, and I thought I might lose it and cry right there in the hallway.

“Eric, just let me go. We have nothing to talk about.”

“Oh yes we do. But you won’t give me a chance to explain.”

“Any explanation I might have needed came from what your father just told me. Sounds like she’s a permanent fixture on the ranch.”

“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He’s happy when any woman comes to the ranch and brings food. The way to that man’s heart is a pretty face and baked goods.” I could tell he was trying to play it off, but I wasn’t laughing. I was so far from it. My heart ached so bad as those piercing green eyes watched me, hoping that I would give in and let him explain. But I just couldn’t do it. He had already broken my heart.

“Listen, Eric. I can’t do this. You knew my heart was still fragile when we started whatever we had. I couldn’t take it again. I can’t be wondering every day if you are with her. I can’t sit here and compare myself to her when she is beautiful and owned your heart for so many years. Maybe we were too different to begin with. Maybe you just felt bad for me after the accident. All I know is my body and my heart were just about healed, so please don’t make me go through this pain again.”

I went to turn and walk away, but he got in front of me, blocking the way to my office. He grabbed me and pulled me close, pressing his lips to mine. At first I was shocked, but then I lost control of myself and kissed him back, losing myself in the old familiar taste of him. My body started to come alive and our tongues tangled. I pulled him as close as I could, but it still wasn’t close enough. He consumed me, and I couldn’t stop myself from giving in and letting him have me.

The sound of voices coming from the waiting room snapped me back to reality, and I pushed him away. We were both panting, and I could see by the look on his face that his need was just as great as mine. But then I remembered Melissa, and I could see her pressed up against him in my mind. He had probably just kissed her goodbye a little while ago before leaving the ranch. Sadness and anger welled up inside of me again.

“Eric, I can’t do this. I can’t be the other woman. I don’t want to be anyone’s second choice. I understand that she was your first love and you still love her. I don’t want to get in your way.”

“Malia, you don’t understand. That’s not the way it is at all! I know you think you know what you saw, but you don’t have the whole story. Please just let me explain. I know you felt what I felt just now. Don’t do this. I’m begging you!”

“I just can’t, Eric. I’m sorry.” I turned and practically ran into my office, locking the door behind me. I got in just in time for the second wave of nausea to hit me, and I threw up for the second time that day. Tears ran down my face as my skin burned from his touch. I was falling apart, and I needed to keep it together, at least until I got home.

I peeked out the door about five minutes later, checking to make sure he wasn’t still out there. The exam room door was open, and I could see that it was empty. I made my way to the staff bathroom so I could splash some water on my face and brush my teeth quickly. When I looked in the mirror, my eyes were puffy from crying. I tried my best to make myself look presentable, Maybe I was getting my period and that’s why I felt so off.

When I went back to my office and looked at the calendar, trying to see if it was time for my period, I noticed that it had been six weeks since my last one. I’d had it two weeks before my accident. And I was never late.

I tried not to panic. I knew that going through a traumatic situation could mess with a woman’s cycle. The past month had been an emotional roller coaster. I was probably just late or would skip a month. It was no big deal.

But the sensible side of me knew that I needed to make sure. I had one more patient to see, so I took care of that, and when I convinced Jenna that I was staying late to do paperwork and she didn’t need to wait for me, I was finally alone in the office.

I grabbed one of the urine sample cups from the bag in the bathroom and peed just enough. I closed the top tight and set it on a towel. I washed my hands and made my way to the small lab room with the test strips. I picked out the correct one, dipped it into the cup of pee, and waited. Within seconds, I had my answer clear as day.

Pregnant.

Another wave of nausea hit me, and I lost the almost nonexistent contents of my stomach in the nearby bathroom.

This could not be happening. Hadn’t we been careful? The more I thought I about it, the more I realized that we had never been careful. There had been no condoms either time. I got caught up in the moment and let it happen. And now I had a tiny person inside of me that would tie me to Eric Langdon for the rest of my life.

It was just my luck that the man I got pregnant by was in love with another woman. And I knew if I told him I was pregnant, he would do the right thing and be with me. But I didn’t want a man who was only with me because of a baby. I didn’t want to see distance in his eyes and know that he was always thinking of another woman.

I also knew that the only right choice for me was to keep this baby. I certainly had the means to support a child on my own. I would love him or her and everything would be fine. Plenty of children only had one parent and turned out just fine.

Then I realized that there would eventually be no way for me to hide this from him. Once I started to show and he found out my due date, he would be able to do the math and figure out that this was his child. The last thing I wanted was for him to know.

Right then and there, I started to make plans to leave Alaska and begin my new life as a single mother. In my mind it was the only way.

Chapter 11

I barely made it through the rest of the work week. I could only eat crackers and drink little shots of water. The nausea came and went, and I couldn’t stop thinking about Eric’s baby growing inside me. I started to pay closer attention to the babies and pregnant women that came into the office. I watched them with their husbands, feeling an overwhelming jealousy and sadness at what they had that I would never have. I kept up a brave front at work, but at home, I cried myself to sleep every night. I never imagined I’d be alone during this time in my life.

During one particularly stressful day about three weeks after my big realization, I had to run out of an exam room and into the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face and took out my secret stash of mouthwash before returning to finish the appointment, apologizing profusely.

I thought I was in the clear until Jenna came into my office a few minutes later.

"How long have you known?"

"Known what?"

"Stop playing dumb with me. I've watched you losing your meals, scarfing down crackers, and looking exhausted. I even found you in here napping. I've worked here long enough to know the signs. You're pregnant."

And I thought I hid it so well. I should have known better. Unable to control my emotions any longer, I started to sob. Jenna closed the door and sat down next to me. It was embarrassing, but it felt good to let it all out.

"I found out about three weeks ago. I figure I'm about 11 weeks now."

"Oh my god, Malia! How have you been keeping this to yourself? You know you could have told me right away!"

"I was trying to keep it a secret. I didn't want you or anyone else feeling bad for me."

"Well, you can't hide it forever. You will be showing soon. How does Eric feel about it?"

"He doesn't know. And I'm not going to tell him. He's moved on, and I won't have him coming back just because he feels an obligation to me."

"I think you need to let him make that decision, don't you? I've stayed out of it and kept my mouth shut for the past month, but I think you have things all wrong. I really think you should talk to Eric."

"No, I don't want to break up his happy home. He has enough stress at the ranch, and I can do this on my own."

"But you don't have to. He cares about you a whole lot more than you think. Give him a chance."

"It's too late for that. I need to leave. I've already found a new position at a practice near my parents in Florida. I'm leaving next week. My replacement will be here in two weeks."

Jenna had begged and pleaded with me to reconsider my decision, but I was not going to change my mind. The only solution I could think of was to get far away from Alaska and everything that reminded me of Eric. I didn't need to raise a child in the shadow of what could have been.

On the day before I was supposed to leave, Jenna tearfully threw me a little going away party at Mick's. She promised not to tell anyone my secret as long as I let her have the party. I wore a big sweater and leggings to hide my growing belly.

Most of the town seemed to be there, and many of them tried like crazy to convince me that Alaska was the only place for me. I just smiled and lied right to their faces, telling them that my family needed me in Florida. I was smothered with hugs and promised them I would keep in touch.

I was getting through the night with minimal tears until I looked up and all the air seemed to go out of the room. Eric walked in looking better than ever, and I felt the tears start to well up in my eyes. He strolled right over to me like it was no big deal, and I tried my hardest to pull myself together.

Chapter 12

"So is the rumor really true, Doc? You really headed back to Florida? You haven't even spent a whole year with us." It felt like he was looking right into my thoughts, and I needed to break away from those green eyes before I caved and told him everything.

"Yes, it turns out my parents really need me back there. Plus, I miss the warm weather and all of my friends. It just seemed like the right time, even though I'll miss all the friends I made here."

I clasped my hands together in front of me, both to keep them from shaking and to hide my secret. I couldn't let him know now.

"Well I hope this decision had nothing to do with me. I tried to explain. I tried everything. But you just didn't want to listen. I'm not-"

He was interrupted when someone walked up and wrapped her arms around him from behind.

"I've been looking for you, baby. I thought I would meet you here to say goodbye to the beloved town doctor." Melissa smiled sweetly, but her voice was filled with sarcasm. Her smile never met her pretty eyes. She looked perfect in a simple outfit of jeans and a flannel shirt. She looked like she belonged on the ranch with Eric. A place where I knew I would never fit in.

As if I wasn't even there, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard on the mouth, filling up all the space between us. My heart was beating too quickly and everything around me grew blurry. Soon I could only hear voices, and that was the last thing I remembered before the room went black.

***

I could feel someone holding my hand and a soft voice talking from very close by.

"It's okay, Malia. I'm here sweetie. Open your eyes. Everything is fine."

I recognized Jenna's voice and wondered why she was saying those things. Slowly opening my eyes, I took in my surroundings. Jenna was sitting in a chair next to me, and I was in what appeared to be the emergency room of the nearest hospital. I had been there several times to check on patients.

"What's going on? What happened? Is everything- oh no! The baby! Did something happen to the baby?" Panic began to set in as I realized that something awful might have happened.

"Shhh, calm down. The baby is fine. The doctor checked for the heartbeat, and it sounded nice and strong. Your blood sugar just got a little low and you were dehydrated. You fainted at your party, and we couldn't get you to wake up. I called the ambulance, and they brought you here."

"Oh no! How embarrassing! The last thing I remember was talking to Eric, and then he was kissing Melissa." The tears started to spill quickly down my shame-filled face.

"Oh Malia. It's going to be fine. It's not what you think, but it's also not my place to tell you the truth. There's something I have to tell you, though."

"What?" I was so caught up in the night's events that I didn't get worried about what she had to say.

"When you passed out, I was so worried about you. All I could think about was the baby. When I made it across the room to you, Eric already had you in his arms on the floor, trying to get you to come to. He asked me if you had been sick, but I played dumb. When the ambulance came, they took over and started asking me a bunch of questions. I had to tell them you were pregnant. I thought Eric was gone, but when I turned around, he was right there looking shocked. He knows. And he's here."

"He knows? No! This was the last thing I wanted. I shouldn't have let you throw me a party. I should have just made a clean break! Now what the hell am I going to do?"

"You're going to talk to him, which is what you should have done before you even knew about the baby. I'm going out in the waiting room to send him in. I've never seen him cry until tonight. Not even when his father was sick. Just give him a chance, Malia. You owe that much to him."

I couldn't reply to her, and I could barely see her through my tears as she left the tiny hospital cubicle. I rolled onto my side away from the door, refusing to face the man that I was trying to run from.

I heard the sound of his boots in the hallway and the hushed whispers of people passing by. I wanted to get up and run, but I knew I was too weak to get very far. He walked in and I could sense that he was right at the opposite side of my bed.

"Doc? Please look at me."

"Eric, please just go. I can't do this. I will not ruin your life. I don't expect anything from you. Just go back home to Melissa and let me go home."

"Were you really just gonna run off and never tell me about the baby? Our baby?"

"It is the only way. I don't want you to feel obligated to be with me. I want you to follow your heart and be happy."

"My whole heart is lying right in this hospital bed. You've been so damn stubborn, refusing to hear me out! I'm not with Melissa!"

"But I saw you outside my office kissing her. And your dad said she was always at the ranch. And you were kissing her again tonight at Mick's. That looks like together to me!" I was trying to stay calm, but the pregnancy hormones made it impossible to stop crying.

"She cornered me both times, planning it just right so that you would see it. She heard that we were seeing each other and was crazy jealous. She's been trying to win me back, but I don't want her. She fooled me once but never again. I've been trying to tell you for weeks that all I want is you! How could anyone even compare to you, Doc?"

"I don't know if I can stay. I'm so embarrassed. The whole town will know that I got pregnant by you when we weren't even together!"

"I don't give a shit what they think. All I know is that I love you, and if you really go to Florida, I'll follow you there. I want to be a family with you. Please don't go, Doc."

I saw his green eyes fill with tears, and I couldn't sit there and watch him for another second. I reached out to him, and he sat next to me, pulling me into his arms and kissing me. I touched him all over, memorizing every inch of him. Then he reached between us and placed his large hand over my tiny bump. I placed my hand over his and smiled, feeling for the first time that I wasn't alone.

The doctor came in a short time later with a portable ultrasound machine. We saw our baby together for the first time, watching its tiny arms and legs moving on the screen.

Once I was cleared to go home, Eric carried me to his truck and placed me inside. He drove me straight to my house, not letting me feet hit the ground. He laid me gently on my bed, took off all of my clothes, and kissed me from my mouth to the tips of my toes, only stopping to make sure I found my pleasure in between.

I watched him remove his clothes and slide on top of me very carefully. I could sense that he was nervous about the baby, so I pulled him closer. I grabbed him and guided him slowly inside me. He moved in and out of me slowly, looking into my eyes and kissing me. I rocked my hips against him, feeling the heightened pleasure that my changing body brought me. He was everything I could ever want and more. And I was having his baby.

We made love without words, but the connection was stronger than ever. As I felt the muscles in my body begin to tighten, I knew I was close to my second release. When it came on, I couldn't stop the words from flowing out of me.

" Eric! Oh god! I love you so much!"

I clenched myself tightly around him, and pushed in one last time before he joined me, professing his love as he came deep inside me.

When it was over, he held me in his arms and let his hands rest on my growing belly.

"I love you so much, Eric."

"I love you and this little one. I hope you know I'm not letting you go anywhere. Let's send Melissa to Florida."

I gave him a little jab with my elbow,  but I laughed along with him. I knew he was finally mine. I had found a family in a little ranch town in Alaska. I was finally home.

The End

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