Meant to Be (RightMatch.com Trilogy) (12 page)

“I shouldn’t have asked you,” he said now, almost in a whisper.

She kissed his breastbone. “Yes, you should have. I can see that now. I didn’t know everyone would notice. Hell, I’m not sure I even realized consciously what I was doing. I knew in my heart I didn’t want to get close to Ellie, but I didn’t know why or maybe even that I was acting on it overtly.”

His hand brushed her bare shoulder. Her skin was soft, and the scent of the sexy lotion she used clung to it. “I’m so sorry. I hate the thought of you getting hurt anymore in this relationship. I’ve done so much to you.”

She ran a hand over his chest. “Well, if you think I’m letting you go after all this, there isn’t a shot in hell of that. So don’t try to ditch me.”

He appreciated the levity but her feelings needed analysis. “Seriously, Beth, what are we going to do?”

Cuddling in, she sighed. “Maybe I just need time. And I can try to be better with Ellie. Open myself up more.”

“Oh, honey, you’re paying all the prices for this relationship. I hate that. But how can I compromise with my child?”

“You can’t, of course. I wouldn’t love you like I do if you were the kind of father my distancing didn’t bother. However unconscious it was.”

He said helplessly, “For the first time in my life, I can’t figure out what to do. My brothers always said I sailed through life on my looks and my brain. But I can’t find any answers here for us.”

“Maybe I should see somebody,” she said after a while. “Get some professional help.”

Before he could answer, his cell phone rang. “Fuck! I have to get that. Ellie’s staying with Spence and the call might be about her.” He didn’t miss the irony of Ellie usurping time he should be focusing on Beth and dealing with this huge issue.

Sliding out of bed, he grabbed his jeans, fished out his cell and clicked into the phone. “Hello.”

“Cole, it’s Spence.” His brother’s voice was grave, making his own heart leap in his chest.

“What’s wrong, Spence? Is it Ellie?”

He felt Beth grab his arm.

“No, buddy. It’s your dad. You have to get back to Rockland right away.”

Chapter 8

The cardiac waiting room at Memorial Hospital was full of people, but Beth spotted Cole’s family in the far left-hand corner right away. She held tight to Cole’s hand as they wove their way through the rows of chairs. On the entire drive here—he’d handed her the keys because he was so upset—he’d been mostly silent, commenting only about his dad and how much he loved him. She’d crooned, “I know,” and “Let’s hope for the best outcome,” feeling helpless and silly for mouthing platitudes.

Unfortunately,
the best outcome
didn’t appear possible. Rick Matheson had had what was called a
widow-maker
heart attack. He was in critical condition and the last news they’d had from Spence on the drive up was that the surgical team had been called in to perform a by-pass immediately. If Rick Matheson lived until the docs arrived.

When they reached his family, Cole went to Ellison and touched her shoulder. “Mom?”

She looked up, stood and took him into her arms. From behind, Beth saw his shoulders shake. Tears streamed down Ellison’s face. “I…I never expected this. He’s in such good shape. I never…” His mom couldn’t go on.

After a moment, Cole drew back and sat down with Ellison. Beth could see from the look in his eyes, he’d found some strength to help her. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. And he
is
in good shape, which will help him survive the surgery and get better.”

Knowing how distraught he was, Beth had never admired him more. She didn’t always appreciate his idealism, his belief that things would work out, but tonight, this family needed a good dose of optimism.

His brothers approached them. “Hey, buddy,” Joe said.

Spence clapped him on the shoulder. “Hi, kid.”

They were hurting, too. Rick had raised them from the time they were ten and eleven and had been influential in making them the men they’d become.

“Hey, guys.” Standing, Cole gave them both brief hugs, then the three of them sat around their mother. Beth moved off to the side a bit so as not to interfere.

“We’ve been telling Mom that his physical condition is important here.” This from Joe, who seemed to be holding on by a shoestring. Beth remembered that his real father had died an awful death from ALS. “Hell, the doctor told her that.”

“We should all believe that,” Cole said, holding on to Ellison’s hand. “When will the surgery start?”

“Right now.” The voice came from a nurse dressed in scrubs with a mask hanging around her neck. She approached them. “I’m Karen Daniels. I’m the liaison with the surgical team. Mr. Matheson has just gone into the operating room.”

Everyone stilled and Beth saw Cole swallow hard.

“It’s good that they got the team together so soon,” the woman said soothingly. “This is the best place for him, Mrs. Matheson.”

Beth had to give Ellison credit. She drew herself up, straightened her shoulders and asked a few questions. One was how long the surgery would take. Six to seven hours, the nurse told them.

When she left, they all settled down for what Beth knew was one of the most excruciating vigils to keep—waiting to see if a loved one would live or die. She herself had been in a situation similar to this when Peter had been rushed to the hospital with a burst aneurism. He’d never returned home.

After a moment, Cole went to Dana, who was holding Ellie on her lap. The baby seemed sleepy but brightened when she saw her father. When he picked her up, she cooed, “Da, Da, Da,” and batted his face. Cole held her to his heart, kissed her head, seemed to breathe her in, then returned her to Dana. Ellie settled into Dana’s lap and Cole spoke softly with her, then returned and sat with Ellison.

“How did it happen, Mom?” he asked.

Ellison blushed. “I, um, we were…”

It took a minute for the adults to
get it.
Despite the gravity of the situation, Spence and Joey laughed. Cole chuckled.

From behind them, Annie stood. “Come on, kids,” she said to the four children listening in. “Let’s go get something to drink.”

“Can we take Ellie?” Hope asked.

“Sure, honey.” Annie lifted Ellie off Dana’s lap, set her in the stroller, then the kids trailed Annie out and Dana accompanied them.

Cole turned back to Ellison. “Are you saying, Mother, my father was
in flagrante delicto
when he had this attack?”

Ellison lifted her chin. “Well, we do have a sex life!”

That rung more mirth out of everyone.

“Man, I’m never going to let him live this down.” Cole’s words were lighthearted but tinged with a bit of fear.

“Oh, God, I hope you get to tease him,” Ellison said, burying her face in her hands.

Joe leaned over and kissed her head. “We will, Mom.”

As Beth watched the boys comfort their mother, she was struck by a thought. Ellison Wickham Moretti Matheson had found love three times and lost the men she cared about twice. Yet she didn’t shy away from a relationship the third time. She’d let herself love and be loved, no matter what loss she’d suffered before.

Suddenly, Beth was very ashamed of her fears and how she’d acted on them.

o0o

At two a.m., Cole’s dad was still in surgery, and exhaustion had set in for all of them, not the least for Cole’s daughter. She’d fallen asleep in Dana’s lap, but when they tried to put her into the stroller where she could lay down, Ellie awoke, kicked, screamed, “No, no!”

Cole went to get her but Annie shooed him away and began to walk with her. He couldn’t express how grateful he was that his sisters-in-law pitched in. Both their spouses tried to talk the pregnant women into going home, but neither would leave.

Though it was the middle of the night, Cole decided to try to make other arrangements for Ellie and phoned Mrs. Olsen. No answer. He switched off the cell and approached his family. Beth sat quietly by, offering support with her presence. “Mrs. Olsen’s not home,” he said wearily. “I forgot this was the week she was going to stay with her daughter.”

“Oh dear.” His mother looked worriedly at Annie and the baby.

After settling Ellie on Dana’s lap, Annie approached them. “I’ll take my kids—and yours, Joe, if you want—home and we’ll keep Ellie.”

Alex was the first to object. The tall, dark-haired boy hadn’t left Spence’s side since they’d gotten here. “I’m not goin’ until I know grandpa is okay.”

Grandpa.
They loved him, too.

“Me, neither,” Hope pouted.

“Us, either.” Kara spoke for her and Kaelyn. “We love Grandpa.”

Joe was about to speak when Cole stepped forward. “It’s okay, Joe. I don’t think any of them should have to leave to take care of Ellie. Annie included.”

On cue, Ellie let out a whimper from Dana’s lap where she’d dozed off. Cole lifted her up and began walking her. “It’s late; she misses her bed is all. She’ll be fine here with us.”

A frustrated silence permeated the air. They were all physically and emotionally exhausted after hours of tedium. Cole sat down and cuddled Ellie to his chest; against his will, his eyes closed.

He felt the baby being lifted out of his arms and snapped awake to find Beth holding Ellie and standing before him. “I’m going to take Ellie back to your place. She’ll get some rest and I’ll bring her to the hospital whenever you want.”

Cole’s whole body sagged. “No, Beth, you don’t have to do that.” His protest was strong but so was the worry in his voice.

“I know I don’t
have
to. But it’s the logical choice. You’re all are so invested in Rick. I want to help out in any way I can and this looks like the place.”

Exchanging a quick glance with Dana, Cole stood and drew Beth off to the side. She was tired, too, but that wasn’t his main concern. “Honey, what about what we discussed tonight?”

“Forget about that now. This is an emergency, and people pull together during them.”

“Beth…”

“Hush. I love you and this is a way I can be of use to you now. You can catch a nap while you wait.” She motioned to the group, who’d gone silent. “All of you can relax more without a baby to watch.”

“I don’t know—”

Beth turned away from him while he was objecting. “Spence, can you help me with the car seat? I’m taking Ellie back to Cole’s and I’ll stay there till morning. Cole should be with his mom, with all of you.”

“Sure,” Spence said. “The seat’s in my car. I’ll transfer it to yours.”

At a loss, exhausted and worried as hell, Cole watched the scene unfold. The woman who hours ago said she couldn’t get close to Ellie carefully put his daughter’s little pink jacket on—expertly, since Ellie was alternately squirming and batting Beth in the face—then stood again. She kissed Cole’s cheek saying, “Don’t worry about us. Just take care of your family,” and walked out of the hospital with his brother.

Awash with emotion, Cole dropped down into the chair.

o0o

Sitting in the rocker in Ellie’s nursery, holding Cole’s child close to her breasts, Beth felt herself losing the battle with her heart. She rubbed Ellie’s back, covered in the pink terrycloth that Beth had wrestled her into once they’d gotten home. Her hand slid to Ellie’s feet, covered too, and she smiled. She remembered—fondly—the footed pajamas. They called forth a visceral, maternal response. Beth had loved her babies, relished their baby-ness, despite how difficult it was when she was only nineteen, and then twenty, to raise them. She even remembered a song she used to sing to them about Mama loving you forever, and hummed it while Ellie quieted.

When she was sure the child was asleep, she rose and gently placed Ellie on her back in the crib. Staring down at Cole’s daughter, she whispered, “Aw, sweetheart, how can I resist you?” She must have suspected that if she let herself care for the girl, she wouldn’t be able keep her distance. Now, with Rick Matheson’s life hanging in the balance, her fears seemed minor.

Sighing, she went to Cole’s bedroom, found one of his T-shirts and changed into it. After a stop in the bathroom, she returned to the nursery, which housed a twin bed. Putting her cell on vibrate, she placed it on the pillow, slid under the covers. Immediately Cole’s scent rose up to her. With it filling her head, her eyes closed.

Beth awakened with a start to a buzzing in her ear. Forcing herself to think, she realized the noise came from her cell and clicked into it immediately. “Cole?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Let me get out of Ellie’s room.” After she’d settled on the couch with a throw wrapped around her bare legs, she said, “I’m back. I’m fine. Ellie’s asleep and I was, too. Now, tell me how your dad is.”

“They just finished the surgery. Jesus, it took seven hours.”

“As expected. He came through it?”

“They were pleased with how it went. But there are no guarantees.” He cleared his throat. “God, Beth, what will I do if anything happens to him?”

“You’ll get through whatever you have to and I’ll help you. But it’s too soon to be talking like this. Just be grateful he survived the surgery and deal with the next step. Waiting.”

“I am grateful. For that and for you. So, you made it home okay?”

“Of course we did. I’ve got a grandchild, you know, but even if I didn’t, it’s like riding a bike. I remembered how to change diapers and everything.”

Cole chuckled which was good to hear. “Do you want me to come home?”

“No. I’ll cancel my volunteer work at the shelter as soon as it’s a decent hour to call. I’m planning to spend the day with Ellie. I’ll take care of her.”

“Could you maybe bring her back to the hospital later on? It would, you know, help me to see her. And you.”

“Of course. We’ll come by after she gets up and fed.”

“I don’t know how to thank you for doing something you didn’t want to do. I wish I could make the situation better for you.”

“It’s fine for me. And I can take care of myself.”

They talked more about how everyone was reacting, how Ellison was faring. “She’s so strong, Beth. She lost one husband to divorce, one to death and now she’s in danger of losing another. But she’s holding it together and helping us all.”