Me Without You (2 page)

"We've lost him!" Dr. Lively said.
"He's gone!" Although, he was rubbing his eyes, tears squeezed
through and flowed through his cheeks.

"No, Dad—don't stop!" Hugh slumped back
dejectedly. His face was a mask of bland expression.

"No!" Helen screamed. "No,
X—no!"

Dr. Lively immediately rushed to his
wife and held her in his arms. Both of their legs gave away and
they lowered themselves to the floor, wailing in deep
sorrow.

Jonah knelt on Xavier's side. She
positioned both her hands above his chest. Still feeling the warmth
coming from Xavier's body, she took in a lungful of air to breathe
out life to Xavier and to choose to live forever as the greatest
healer in the world.

X, I want you now and
here…Forget forever…

It was still fresh in Jonah's mind how
she got into that position. It all started with a vision and a
deal.

Chapter 2

The Deal

Jonah placed both hands on Xavier's
chest. She pushed a little. Although, she was not sure where it was
coming from, she could feel something hot igniting between her
hands and Xavier's body. She pushed some more. The air became
hotter.

And pushed a little more…

There was no movement. There was no
response coming from Xavier. His eyes were closed and he was still
not breathing. Jonah pushed harder. She did not withdraw and let
her hands stay on Xavier's chest, until it felt like she was
dipping her hands over a hot plate. Then, the burning sensation was
gone.

But Xavier remained immobile…and yes,
perhaps—really dead.

Jonah stirred him softly. Whispering
his name over and over again, "X! X! X!"

Tears began forming in Jonah's eyes.
She slumped over his body. With her head on his chest, she allowed
herself to pour out her grief and wept. She cried and cried even
when there were no more tears flowing. Then, she felt two strong
arms, prying her away from Xavier.

All of a sudden, Jonah felt an acute
rising of Xavier's chest. She excitedly straightened up to see if
he was breathing again. And indeed, there was the steady rising of
his chest.

"Anyone! Help! X is breathing—" Jonah
called out urgently.

The two strong arms which were still
holding her shoulders quickly pulled her up her feet, away from
Xavier's body.

"X is alive!" Jonah cried out
triumphantly.

"Yes, Xavier will live!" a male voice
boomed out near her ear.

Jonah jumped back, getting out of her
reverie. She looked around. She was sitting on the Lively's front
porch steps. Her face felt sticky all over. She realized she had
been crying so hard. Her face was covered with strands of her long
hair sticking to her face.

I have fallen asleep…
It immediately dawned on Jonah where she
was.
The vision of her and Xavier
again..
.
and it was
fading fast.

Although, there were times when the
vision of healing Xavier entered Jonah's mind when she least
thought of him, it had never revealed itself in a dream the way it
came when she was asleep right in front of Xavier's porch
steps.

She was no psychic or dream
interpreter, and she couldn't even remember the details anymore,
but she believed the vision meant she will be playing a strong role
in Xavier's healing. For this reason that she kept coming back to
the mansion even if Xavier had not, even once, obliged to seeing
her. Even if she had been warned off by the Lively matriarch time
and again never to come back.

She didn't really know what was going
on. The whole thing was a blur. She and Xavier had started dating
the latter part of their senior year. Then, one day he was chilling
so badly and contracted a fever. Ever since, she had not heard
anything from him. Not a text message, not an email—nothing. He
seemed to have disappeared to nowhere. He didn't even finish
school.

She heard of rumors that Xavier was
terribly ill. Even his mother had confirmed just as much.
Nevertheless, she had to see for herself. She wanted to see him all
the more.

"You've been here for three hours," the
boy said, cutting through her thoughts. "Aren't you tired? X will
not see you today."

"Or tomorrow, or the next day— I know,"
Jonah answered sarcastically. Looking at him with squinted eyes and
holding one hand like a visor to shield her vision from the sun,
she added, "But I am not leaving!"

"Don't you get it?" the boy
asked.

Jonah stared at him for a moment. He
was standing over her with both his hands on his hips and an
exasperated look in his face. He couldn't have been older or
younger than Xavier. He looked more like Xavier's own age. He stood
towering over six feet. He had the same blond hair Xavier had. But
he kept his a little longer with his bangs almost covering his
hazel eyes. He was wearing a white shirt underneath a button-down,
pink lawn shirt with rolled up sleeves, shorts with thin-line
prints of some sort and sockless deck shoes.

"No, I don't get it," Jonah said,
looking down at herself. Seeing her tattered jeans exposing both
her knees, she lowered her face and let her chin rests on them,
crinkling her mouth almost in a pout. Then, she buried her face in
her hands and began to cry again.

The boy sat right in front of Jonah and
battled to look into her eyes against her reluctance to show her
tear-stained face, and her long black mane which he had to wrestle
away from her face only to have them back on with the wind blowing
from behind.

With so much annoyance in his voice, he
told her to cut her hair off, "Let go off something heavy and the
others will follow."

This made Jonah giggle in the middle of
her tears. She wiped her face off and said, "You think cutting my
hair off will make things go away? No way! I can sit here forever,
you know!"

"I know," the boy said, standing up
again. "But I can't let you do that!"

"And why's that?" Jonah looked at him
curiously.

He could indeed be
family…
she thought.
All of them want me gone.

Although, she hadn't remembered Xavier
mentioning he had a brother. But of course, Xavier couldn't have
said anything about a brother, just like he couldn't have told her
why he suddenly stopped seeing her. There were a lot of things she
didn't know about Xavier after all. She didn't even recall Xavier
telling her about his Aunt Gilda.

Before Xavier moved to their town,
Jonah had always known that they had a neighbor, Gilda Byrne, whom
she had only laid eyes on once or twice ever since she was little.
Her own Aunt Judith had mentioned that Gilda was a
recluse.

Jonah was surprised to know Xavier and
his family had moved in next door. It was even a more pleasant
surprise for her to see Xavier in person and fell in love with
him.

"Hugh— I am X's brother," Hugh said
amusingly. He changed the subject matter and added, "So, X's got
himself a girlfriend, huh?"

Jonah felt alarmed, thinking Xavier may
not even think of her anymore. Looking embarrassed, she told him,
"That's why I am here, I need a closure—"

"You broke up?" Hugh asked. "Sorry,
didn't mean to pry."

"Your brother bailed out on me—" Jonah
said, hot flush creeping up her face. "Although, I don't know if
it's for good or what. You see, he does this thing
sometimes—"

"Hibernate?" Hugh
interrupted.

"Is that how he calls it? He doesn't
return calls. He doesn't show up. He disappears—especially after
something good happens—he just goes, I don't know where," Jonah
muttered.

Jonah had a first-hand experience of
the odd way Xavier often kept himself away from people. There were
times when he had been so sweet, surprising her and turning up in
places where she least expected him to be. Once, he had shown up at
the grocery while she had been shopping with her sister, Jane, just
to tell her he missed her.

However, the next few days, she didn't
see him anywhere. And no matter how many text messages she sent his
way, he never texted her back. And it drove her crazy thinking she
had done something wrong for him not to return her messages. But
when he finally showed up, there was no way to stay angry or
frustrated at him, because he was the sweetest guy in the world
again, showering her with kisses and loving words.

"That's our X!" Hugh said and
grinned.

It irritated Jonah that Hugh could find
it amusing that his brother could behave that oddly.

"I am used to it, you know," Jonah went
on. "His—" she gestured with her fingers like she was scribbling
quotation marks in the air for emphasis, before she continued
sarcastically, "—hibernation usually ends in days. But it's been
almost a month and a half now. And it's already getting nasty. It's
selfish. It's childish. It's—"

"Look, I'll tell X, you dropped by,"
Hugh said and looked at his watch impatiently. "So you don't have
to worry about it—"

"Yeah, and you'd tell him to call me,
and I'll just wait—" Jonah uttered, "I've heard that somewhere and
it never happened."

Jonah recalled Xavier's mother telling
her the same things the very first few times she requested to see
him. It was probably out of politeness for her sake. But when
nothing happened and Jonah kept coming back anyway, Mrs. Lively had
not been too polite anymore and threatened to even call the police
if she didn't stop wanting to see Xavier.

Hugh peered at his watch again and
looked behind his back. He directed his eyes towards the lane which
stretched out a mile to the entrance of the homestead. He looked
anxious about something."Would you like to stretch out and take a
walk instead? You can tell me all about it," he offered.

"No!" Jonah replied adamantly. It was
very obvious to her that Hugh was trying to get her away from the
place. Perhaps, it was because Xavier was arriving soon and Hugh
didn't want her to see him or him her.

Hugh was carefully choosing his words
when he told her, "Look, mom is arriving soon. I've heard what she
told you the last time you were here. That was quite uncomfortable.
Save yourself from more of that. It won't bring you to see X
anyway."

How much broken will Jonah be after all
these? She didn't care. She knew that her stubbornness will not get
her anywhere. Neither will Xavier's mother's insults toward her do
her any favor. Hugh was right— the whole thing will even scathe her
more. However, Xavier owed her an explanation. If he has changed
his mind about her, she had the right to know. Not that it would
lessen the blow, but it will kick her off to move on and forget
about him.

In hindsight though, there was her
inner voice which told her, it wouldn't take long before Xavier
will realize that he needed her, especially at these trying times.
Her inner voice may be wrong, but it was the deep longing she had
in her heart. And she just couldn't ignore it. Xavier needed her…he
only needed to realize that.

Dropping both hands from his hips to
his knees, Hugh bent lower to meet her gaze. "Look, I'll make you a
deal," Hugh stated slowly, "save me the scene of embarrassing all
of us from a confrontation with my mom and I'll make sure you will
get all the information you need about X even if you don't get to
see him. I think that will be fair enough. You may not see him but
you will still be informed of how he's doing until he gets out of
his hibernation to tell you himself."

Jonah reflected for a moment. As much
as she really wanted to see and talk to Xavier herself, Hugh's
offer sounded better than nothing at all. She could wait until
Xavier realizes he needed her in his life. Until then, she will be
able to follow through with what goes on with his life, like she
was sharing his journey herself.

"How often?" Jonah eyed him
suspiciously.

"24/7 if you like. You can monitor all
you like and I can give you the 411." Hugh straightened up and
looked behind his back again.

Jonah followed his gaze, just in time
to see a car which just turned up the lane heading towards the
house.

Hugh urgently extended his hands
towards her. "Please!" he pleaded. He had looked genuinely
anxious.

Although, Jonah had met Xavier's mother
a number of times and she had exchanged unpleasant encounters with
her, she couldn't quite understand Hugh's apprehension of having
her face his mom once again.

If Hugh only encountered
Rebecca Blood… he would probably say his mom was just a cub. She
was nowhere near being fearful than the Blood matriarch.
Jonah was thinking.

Hoping to get more out of the
situation, Jonah tried to play around and started to say, "It's not
what I hoped for—"

However, Hugh instantly said, "Good!"
He pulled Jonah by the elbow roughly, until she was standing so
close to him, her forehead was almost touching his lips.

"I didn't—" Jonah tried to argue,
wanting to establish the terms amidst smelling Hugh's fresh scent
which made her feel strangely comfortable with him.