Matilda's Freedom (6 page)

‘I’m sure Matilda is quite responsible enough to ensure the girls safety.’ Kit’s calm tone took the sting out of his mother’s words.

‘We’ll discuss it later. If everyone is sated, I think this would be the perfect opportunity for Hannah and Beth to get to know Matilda a little better and discuss their requirements. Christopher, darling, we have far more important things to attend to.’

Matilda placed her napkin on the table and pushed back her chair.

‘You may leave now, girls; you also, Matilda.’

Feeling distinctly dismissed, Matilda stood and followed the girls from the dining room, berating herself for her foolishness. It had been highly improbable that the easy camaraderie she and Kit had established on the trip to Wollombi would continue within the formality of his home; nevertheless, she already missed it. Still, it was only natural he and his mother would have a lot to talk about. She closed the door quietly behind her.

‘That girl is common and highly unsuitable.’ Mrs Barclay’s words could be heard through the closed door, and although Matilda knew it was the height of bad manners, she could not resist eavesdropping. She stood outside, unable to move.

‘Mother, until we have everything back under control, I think it would be best if Matilda stayed with us. She can look after Beth and Hannah, and spend some time with them. You will have one less thing to worry about and can concentrate on getting well, and I will be able to bring the property back into line. It is simply the best solution.’

In the silence that followed, Matilda took a step away from the door but then paused as Mrs Barclay said, ‘Christopher, darling, you are going to stay home now, aren’t you? No more gallivanting. I need you here, especially now that Barclay is dead. We need a man around the house.’

‘Yes, Mother, I shall stay—you will have your man around the house.’

‘And maybe the patter of tiny feet in the not-too-distant future?’

Matilda closed her eyes and rested her back against the wall, willing her breathing to slow before stepping across into the sitting room. It was empty. Hannah and Beth had obviously paid scant attention to their mother’s suggestion and disappeared.

She exhaled loudly and turned to walk back to her room, pondering the conversation she had just overheard. Obviously Mrs Barclay intended to see her son settled back into the family home and married. A little spike of jealousy coursed through her at the thought of Kit wedded to a proper lady, someone quite unlike herself.

Bone-weary, she pushed her ridiculous fantasies away. It was hard enough to put one foot in front of the other, never mind trying to contemplate the future and her impossible dreams. The thought of a comfortable bed and clean linen was the reality she would embrace for the time being.

Kit turned to his mother. ‘I would hate for you to tire yourself. What is this important matter we must discuss? Can it not wait until tomorrow? Matilda and I are both exhausted after our trip, and I would like to ensure she is comfortable.’

‘And I, my darling, would like to ensure that—now you are finally home—we have everything moving along satisfactorily.’

His mother had aged a good deal in the last three years. It had shocked him. Her face was thinner now, and the skin drawn over her high cheekbones looked stretched like parchment.

She spread her thin, veined hands towards him in a gesture of affection. He leaned across the table and took them. The brittle fragility of her fingers also disturbed him.

‘Mother, you mustn’t worry yourself.’ He patted her hand; it was cool beneath his touch. ‘Now I am home, you can simply concentrate on getting your strength back. I will worry about the property, and Matilda will care for the girls.’

‘There is one more thing you seem to have forgotten. Time is running away from us. Barclay’s death brought that point home to me.’ His mother dabbed the corner of her eye with a small, embroidered handkerchief. ‘We must think to the future. Did you have time while you were in Sydney to call on the Ramsbottoms?’

Kit stifled a groan, knowing exactly what his mother was about to say. ‘No, Mother, I didn’t. I was intent only on getting back here to see you.’ Perhaps with a bit of fancy footwork he could divert the conversation because he absolutely did not wish to discuss the Ramsbottoms. ‘The ship docked, and I spent my only evening dining with the Bainbridges,’ he continued. ‘I made use of my cabin that night and left the following evening with Matilda for Morpeth. I came straight here the moment I arrived. In fact, I have been coming home since the moment I received news of Barclay’s death.’

‘But you had time to arrange for Matilda to accompany you.’

‘That was simply good fortune and coincidence. The arrangement suited everyone concerned, and I believed she was well-matched to life at The Gate. She appears at home on the land, and is a confident and self-reliant horse woman.’

‘I have been so out of touch. It was such a shock, such a shock.’ The lace handkerchief waved around his mother’s eyes, and Kit made what he hoped were sympathetic noises.

Barclay’s death must have struck her hard. As much as Hannah and Beth had grown in the last three years he had been away, his mother had shrunk. The vibrant, determined woman he had farewelled was a shadow of the past, and it seemed that grief had swallowed every inch of warmth she’d once possessed.

‘The Ramsbottoms, then. You didn’t have time?

‘No, Mother, I didn’t.’

‘Oh, darling, that is such a shame because before my poor Barclay died they visited several times. Eliza is a delightful girl, and her father has become immensely influential. I’m surprised Richard Bainbridge didn’t mention him. I have a plan and have had plenty of time to consider it while I have been confined to my bed.’

‘Yes, Mother.’ He placed his glass on the table and stretched out his legs. As much as he cared for her, and no matter how happy he was to be home, he had forgotten this aspect of his life. Kit stifled a yawn; he wanted nothing more than to fall into bed and sleep. Hopefully, Matilda had all she needed. He had intended to wish her a good night, but at this rate, he wouldn’t be going anywhere.

‘Please forgive my bluntness, Mother, but I am very tired. It has been an extremely long few days, and I’d like nothing more than to excuse myself and retire.’

‘How selfish of me! Of course, you must be tired. We’ll discuss it all tomorrow. I have so many plans, Kit, and it is so lovely to have you home.’

Kit pushed the dining room door open and walked out on to the veranda. He pulled a cigarillo from his inside pocket, lit it and looked up at the sky. The moon hung like a ripe melon in the inky blackness, casting a sufficient enough glow to illuminate the trees and gardens clearly. Even the tedium of attending to his mother’s wishes could not diffuse the pleasure of being home.

His fingers trailed along the timber balustrade, breathing in the night scent of the roses as it mixed with wafts of lavender. A gentle breeze was blowing and brought with it the tantalising smell of tomorrow’s bread from the kitchen. The distant stamping and whickering of the horses in the stable added to his ease.

As Kit rounded the corner of the veranda, the movement of the curtains across the open doors caught his attention.

The guest room.

Gazing into that light, he could see Matilda’s silhouette framed within the doorway—it was the loveliest sight imaginable. He called her name softly and was rewarded by the sound of her footsteps moving towards the veranda.

‘Good night, Kit, and thank you for everything. I really enjoyed the ride today.’ Her voice carried low and sweet across the fragrant night air.

He took two steps closer.

‘Please do not come any closer, Kit. I am not suitably attired.’

Kit imagined the pink flush tingeing her cheeks. As she stepped back into the room, a sharp insistent tug of desire shot through him, and he debated the delightful possibility of enticing her out into the moonlight. She would undoubtedly be attired only in her chemise. ‘I intend to ride out early in the morning and check the stock. Would you join me? It will give me an opportunity to show you some of the property before you begin lessons with the girls.’

‘I’d love to, Kit.’

‘I’ll meet you at the stables then—until tomorrow. Sleep well, Matilda.’

Impressed by his self-restraint, Kit headed to his own room. So she
had
enjoyed her ride to Wollombi. He had, too, and had not felt so free and easy for a long while.

Matilda was a delightful companion. Apart from her obvious good looks, she seemed intelligent and curious, and there was very little she wasn’t interested in. He’d brought her to The Gate as a companion for the girls and not for himself, but somehow he envied them.

The dawn light filtered through the curtains and dappled across the quilt on the bed. Matilda stretched luxuriously against the feather pillows and sat up. After the best night’s sleep she’d had in many weeks, her mind was awake and racing at the prospects of the day. Throwing back the covers, she leapt up and stripped off her nightclothes, replacing them with her shirt and breeches. Then she pulled her hair into a tight braid.

Not wanting to disturb the rest of the house, she left the room through the veranda doors and made her way to the stables. The smell of fresh hay and the gentle whickers of satisfied horses were there to greet her.

‘Morning, Miss.’ The young Aborigine’s eyes flicked quickly over her form. His attitude appeared to have change overnight. ‘Beautiful day and just the ticket for a ride. I’m saddling them up as Mr Christopher requested last night. He’ll be along in a moment, so make yourself at home.’ She gave him a friendly smile and wandered back outside.

Matilda’s concerns of the night before receded in the early morning sunshine. Despite her rather dubious welcome from Mrs Barclay and Hannah, the rest of the household were willing to treat her with kindness and respect. Surely, once she established her position everything would settle down. It must have been a horrible shock to Mrs Barclay when Kit had turned up with an unknown female in tow. Matilda decided she would do all she could to smooth the path.

Though Bonnie seemed to be well in control of everything, perhaps Matilda could help around the house, or even in the garden. And then there were also the girls’ lessons to look forward to.

She sucked in a great breath of morning air. She felt pleased to be away from Sydney and the smelly stinking boat that had transported them up the coast. As she loudly exhaled, she leaned over the rail fence and gazed at the mountain range.

‘That was too big a sigh for such a pretty girl on a beautiful morning like this.’

Kit’s rich brown voice sent a shiver of delight down her spine. ‘Oh, no, it was a sigh of pleasure, not despair. This spot, cradled in the hills like it is, is beautiful. It conveys a sense of security and freedom.’

‘I’m glad you approve. In front of you lies the Broken Back Range and behind us is Mount Corrabare. The whole area has been home to the Awabakal and Darkinjung aboriginal tribes for thousands of years. These hillsides are full of the caves and aboriginal paintings I was telling you about.’

‘No wonder I feel so safe. This area has been called home by many different people for a long time.’

‘I hope you will come to call it home too, Matilda.’ His face broke into a grin that highlighted his straight white teeth, and her heart hitched. She might only have the position of companion at the moment, but she wouldn’t be averse to something rather more permanent. That thought shocked her.

‘Here’s Jimmy with our horses. Let me help you.’

On the tip of her tongue were the words to decline Kit’s offer and mount unaided as she always did, but when he moved closer and linked his hands for her to step up on, she didn’t refuse. Resting one hand on his shoulder, she stepped onto his clasped hands and swung into the saddle.

With Kit’s head now level with her thighs, she thought for one foolish moment he might drop a kiss on her knee. She had an overwhelming urge to run her fingers through his wavy hair. Instead, he smiled up at her, and Matilda wished he had refrained. Her heart gave a little start; he was just too charming.

He was dressed far more casually than she had seen him before—a loose shirt, a checkered waistcoat that he’d failed to button, and fawn breeches—and she couldn’t help but appreciated the sight of him swinging into the saddle. He settled himself effortlessly on the enormous black stallion. Matilda thought the two made quite a handsome pair.

‘These are magnificent animals,’ she said, running her hand down the neck of the buckskin mare. She hoped that Kit hadn’t observed her bluntly appraising him.

‘Dungarvan stock, best in the colony. They send quite a few of them to India for the army, and we’ve had their bloodlines for years now. The stud hit a bit of a bad patch through the depression and afterwards, but Roscomon’s got it back on track now. You’d know all about that from Bainbridge’s niece and her husband.’

‘Oh, yes—you mean Lily. But I didn’t know about the horses. Richard Bainbridge was an acquaintance of my father’s, and he and Emily were kind enough to offer me accommodation. I lost everything in the fire, so when I arrived in Sydney I only had my travelling clothes and my riding gear. So, they gave me some of Lily’s clothes.’

The words were out of her mouth before she realised what she had said, and a cold wash of dread filled her as she waited for the inevitable questions. It wasn’t that she had anything to hide, but the prospect of telling the story of her father’s accident and the resulting fire still made her blood run cold. She fingered her mother’s love token, searching for reassurance.

Kit must have sensed her discomfort because he said, ‘I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to talk about it unless you want to.’

Matilda breathed a sigh of relief, nodding as Kit’s dark eyes gazed at her. She had not picked him as a sensitive man, seeing as him more as a leader who expected everyone to fall into step behind him.

‘I don’t mind talking about it, and you and your mother have every right to know my background since you have offered me a position. You can’t rely entirely on Emily and Richard’s recommendation. But let’s not spoil this beautiful morning with my family’s sorry tale.’