Authors: Kirstie Abbot
Dan had also been there when Adam, physically healed, had
stormed out of his first therapy session, swearing he’d never go back—and he never
had. Since then Adam had largely avoided discussing that horrendous time in his
life although on one unforgettably distressing night, after a few whiskeys too
many, he’d told Dan what he thought he needed to drive the memories away. Dan
had his own thoughts on the matter—mostly involving a return to the therapist—but
it looked like Adam had put his ill-conceived plan into action.
“I can’t tell you what to do, Ad, how to put this right. But
she needs to know. At some point you’re going to have to tell her. Right now
she’s hurting and she’s confused—even I can see that, just as I can see her
need to understand what’s going on with you. And she will understand.”
“How can you know that?”
“Easily.” Dan knew he was on firm ground with what he was
about to say. “She loves you. And you know what? Because she loves you, she’ll
help you to forgive yourself, and that’s what you need more than anything else,
Ad.
“Now, I suggest you go to her, talk to her, and I’ll clear
off to bed. I’m bloody knackered.”
Adam had his doubts. He even doubted that he’d find her in
their bedroom, so he was dumbstruck when he opened the door to find not an
empty room in darkness but a room with romantic, dimmed lighting and a
beautiful woman naked in bed.
She was lying on her side, her back to him and his side of
the bed. He couldn’t tell whether she was asleep or not, but at least she was
there.
A heavy sigh lifted his shoulders. He’d asked way too much
of a novice sub…the woman he loved. How could he possibly explain his reasons
for asking her to be his Domme? And even if he could find the words, once he
told her what happened to him, she’d run and he wouldn’t blame her one iota.
He’d let himself be raped and he was still screwed up mentally because of it.
How the hell could he tell Beth that? Adam didn’t know what
to do—a feeling he wasn’t used to. He was on the point of talking himself into
moving to one of the spare rooms when she turned over and reached toward the
place where he should have been lying beside her. She gave no sign of being
aware of his presence.
He owed her an explanation but when it came to the woman in
front of him, he was vulnerable. It would probably be best if he left her alone
tonight and they talked in the morning. If he took his place beside her in bed
he’d want to make love to her.
Not sexually dominate her, but make love to her—and after
what happened that afternoon, she’d have every right to refuse him. He turned
to go.
“Aren’t you coming to bed?”
Adam felt like putting his fist through the wall. The pain
would help him to say no and get out of there before he hurt her again. He sure
as hell couldn’t look at her or he’d be lost. “I thought you’d prefer to be
alone tonight.”
“And that’s why you’re here now?”
“I wanted to make sure you were all right. I thought you
were asleep.”
“I was. I’m not now.”
She wasn’t making it easy and he couldn’t blame her. Dan was
right—he really needed to talk to her but he couldn’t burden her with the mess
he’d carried with him for so long. In spite of his friend’s confidence in the
matter, Adam couldn’t help but think that if she knew the truth he’d lose her.
“I know there was a reason for this afternoon, Adam. If you
won’t or can’t tell me that reason then at least tell me if it worked. Or was
it all for nothing?”
The pain in her quiet, calm, honest voice sliced right
through his soul. An answer was the least he owed her.
The memory of the time he’d endured in that hell was one
he’d never willingly called up yet it had dominated his nights for a long, long
time. He braced himself for the impact, waited for the trickle of sweat down
his spine, but it didn’t come.
And the reason it didn’t come was that, although he still
had that memory, the sensations that overlaid it were of an act carried out
with love by the woman he’d love for the rest of his life. The memory couldn’t
hurt him any longer and the woman was in his bed waiting for him. He should be
on his knees in front of her, not a million miles away from her.
“It wasn’t for nothing, Beth. Please believe me.”
Silence but he still couldn’t turn round. She didn’t believe
him.
“Does that mean you don’t need me anymore?”
He heard the stifled tears in her voice. “Need you? Beth, I
need you more than I need air to breathe.”
“I know I’m not being a very good sub tonight, Sir,” she
said, her voice hesitant, “but surely we can work out whatever it is that’s
keeping you over there and out of this bed?”
Adam looked over his shoulder and lost the last shred of
willpower that he had. She was sitting up, the covers bunched around her waist,
oblivious to her nudity. He took a couple of steps toward her, into the light.
“You are my perfect sub, Beth, never doubt that. But
tonight, I don’t want you as my sub—I want you as my lover. Will you let me be
your lover tonight?”
Her answer was eloquent in its simplicity. She said nothing,
just drew the covers aside and offered him her hand.
“There’ll be a couple of happy campers out there the day
after tomorrow,” Dan announced with a grin over breakfast. “Steve’s wife went
into labor, so he’s unavailable and I needed to send Mal out on protection
detail at short notice.”
“So who have we got?” Adam asked. He knew a lot of the men
employed by GC Security, having worked alongside them while in the Special
Forces.
“Dylan and Conor will—“
“Oh Christ. Not Baxter and Devlin? Please tell me you’re
joking, Dan. Those two clowns are the worst double act on the planet!”
“But they are good at what they do—you know that as well as
I do.” Dan was struggling to suppress a grin at Adam’s reaction. The other man
had been their officer commanding back in the day and knew exactly how good
they were at their jobs.
“As I was saying, Dylan and Conor will be joining us. I’ve
told them to keep out of the way unless there’s trouble,” Dan qualified grimly.
“I’ve got Jake and Rob doing the grunt work, trying to track down Underwood
before he can get here.”
Adam nodded. How Dan had assigned his men was Dan’s decision
to make, not his. All were ex-Special Forces, like himself and Dan, and they
had their own areas of expertise. He sighed heavily. “Thanks, Dan. I owe you.”
Dan shook his head dismissively. He was clearly a man with
something on his mind though and Adam didn’t have to wait long to find out what
it was. “Where’s Beth this morning? Things all right between you two?”
A memory filled Adam with warmth, of the moment when he’d
joined Beth in bed and kissed her. “She’s still sleeping. We’re working on it,
Dan.”
“Have you told her?”
Tension formed a boulder in Adam’s stomach. That was the
elephant in the room—invisible as far as Beth was concerned but for him, it was
the one thing he truly feared, because of the threat that, for her, it could be
a dealbreaker. Would be a dealbreaker.
“Ad, tell her.” He heard the other man’s sigh. “You were the
victim, remember?”
“Yeah.” The word was almost a snarl.
Victim
. The word
stuck in Adam’s throat. He was a man, a Dom and no one’s victim, for God’s
sake. He should have fought back harder.
“And if you had they would have turned on the boy. That’s
what you were afraid of.”
Adam hadn’t even realized he’d given voice to the bitter
recrimination that had been his daily mantra for years. “Don’t make me out to
be some self-sacrificing hero, Dan.”
“Not self-sacrificing but yes, you are a hero. Don’t hate
yourself for being one man in the face of insurmountable odds.”
He was going to be sick, would have been sick if he’d
touched any of the food on the plate in front of him. The “insurmountable odds”
had taken him and the son of his client captive because he, Adam, had been
arrogant enough to think that he could do the job of two men. With two of them
he was sure they’d have been able to take care of the four men who attacked
them but four against one had been too much.
What followed had shown him what the bowels of hell looked
like.
He glanced at his friend. From the look of him he wasn’t
ready to drop the subject. “Not now, Dan,” he said quietly. “I promised Beth
breakfast in bed this morning. Can you amuse yourself for awhile?”
Thankfully, Dan knew a hint when he got one. “You’re a lucky
bastard. Look after her, Adam.”
“I intend to—if she’ll let me.”
“Okay then. Since breakfast will keep the two of you amused
for the next few hours I’ll see you at lunch.”
Adam saw his friend off. The other man had already said that
he intended to reconnoiter the nearest villages, to see if any strangers had
been spotted in the area. Adam knew that he may or may not be back for lunch,
depending on how much success he had with his inquiries.
There was also the lure of a fine pub lunch at the Dog and
Partridge to factor into the equation.
Adam busied himself in the kitchen, whipping up breakfast
for the woman he’d reluctantly left sleeping an hour or so ago. If he closed
his eyes he could still feel the passionate heat of her body next to his.
He checked the contents of the tray—juice, coffee with milk
and sugar, toast, egg and bacon, and a selection of fresh fruit. There was only
one thing missing, and he could fix that by vandalizing the vase of fresh
flowers in the hall on the way back to the bedroom. His mouth curved into a
smile for the first time that morning. He was definitely getting soft in his
old age.
Beth was still asleep when he arrived at the bedroom. He
wasn’t surprised, the sex had been incredible—no, making love had been
incredible. He’d given her his body with love and tenderness and she had given
him the same. Leaving the tray to one side, he got down on one knee by the bed,
intending to wake her gently but she beat him to it. Her smile warmed him
through, banishing the coldness that had settled round him while he’d been
talking to Dan.
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
Adam grinned, feeling like a complete idiot. Again. “We had
a busy night, if you remember—”
“If I remember? I’ve had less demanding workouts at the
gym.” Beth yawned.
“You never mentioned you go to the gym.”
“Do I look like I go to the gym? I used to, but they
couldn’t work miracles—which they didn’t tell you in the brochure. There’s only
so much they can do with a hopeless case.”
And her smile told him that she didn’t care. He leaned toward
her and kissed her. “I don’t see how they could work a miracle on a miracle,
anyway.”
The look in her eyes changed to something that told him he
wasn’t about to get away with anything. “There’s something different about you
today, Adam. Why… Last night, why didn’t you…we… You made love to me without
the things we’ve done before. Why?”
He couldn’t give her the full explanation, not yet, but he
did owe her some sort of reassurance. “Your breakfast’s getting cold. You eat, I’ll
talk.”
Adam made himself comfortable beside her, careful to stretch
out on top of the covers fully dressed rather than doing what he wanted to do,
which was strip, get into bed beside her and make love all over again…all day.
At times, Beth really was too much temptation for him to withstand.
“I guess I am different, sweet. Or starting to change at any
rate. Starting to feel free of something from the past that’s had a hold on me
for a long time.”
“And yesterday…?”
“Began that process, yes. Do you want all that toast?”
Beth considered slapping his hand. Instead, she buttered a slice
and held it up to his mouth. He took a bite then plucked the slice from her
fingers.
She glanced at the tray on her lap. “I didn’t thank you for
this.”
“That’s all right. We’ll negotiate later.”
Beth didn’t have to be a genius to work out what that meant.
The wicked grin told her all she needed to know—that while her Dom may have
taken a temporary leave of absence the previous night, he would be back and
soon.
“You said there was something in the past that’s had a hold
on you—is that what you’re not going to tell me about?”
He glanced away from her, she sensed his defenses going up.
He clearly wasn’t ready to go into that yet—if ever. She sighed. “When—if—you’re
ever ready, I’m a good listener, Adam.”
“I know.”
All right, so they couldn’t talk about the past—that left
the present and the future. “There is something I need to know. Am I still your
sub, Sir?”
He turned back to her at that, his face fierce with a
sensual hunger. His mouth crushed hers in a killer of a kiss. “Always,” he
growled, nuzzling into her neck. “Think of this as a brief holiday. I’ve no
intention of letting my sub off the hook.”
Well, that was one thing settled. “Since I’m still your sub,
it makes the question more pertinent, Sir. Why was last night so different?”
“Beth, you’ve given me so much—not only your submission but
your love, your friendship and your support. Last night, I wanted to give
something back to you.”
And he had. His caring and tenderness had rocked her to the
depths of her soul. Beth had felt wrapped in love from head to foot when his
beautiful, powerful body had stretched out beside her. He’d touched her face
with his fingertips as if he were a blind man imprinting her upon his memory
and then his lips had made sweet contact with hers—not taking love and passion
from her but giving her spirit what it needed to soar into the heavens.
She’d felt loved and worshipped and adored and because it
was Adam it had blown her mind. Afterward, he’d gathered her close to his body
and held her while she cried. They’d slept and then he’d made love to her
again, still so loving and gentle.
No wonder she’d needed to sleep later and now Adam was
making it really difficult for her to concentrate on anything. His lips were
playing havoc with her mouth and his hand was cupping her breast so that his
fingers could roll and pinch her nipple.
“Adam,” she got out on a breathless whisper. “Sir, if you
don’t stop doing that right now, this tray’s going to go everywhere.”
She had a moment’s peace while the tray with her half-eaten
breakfast was whisked out of harm’s way and then Adam was back. This time it
was his mouth that fastened on to her nipple, snagging it between his teeth and
sucking it deeply into his mouth.
God, she could hardly speak. The man was a menace. The way
he was damn well-dressed too, in those tight black jeans and a skintight white t-shirt,
was a reminder—as if she needed one—of just how strong and powerful his body
was. The way the short sleeves clung to his formidable biceps was wicked. He
could tempt a saint into sin. Beth threw her head back against the pillows
stacked behind her, grabbing the sheets with both hands and trying to stop her
sanity from spinning off into the farthest reaches of the universe.
Her grip on the sheets disappeared when he dragged the
covers away from her body, exposing her to his heated gaze. His hand pushed her
thighs apart then covered her sex, the palm resting on her smooth mound while
his fingers thrust into the wetness of her pussy.
Aroused beyond reason, Beth moaned breathlessly, fucking his
hand while all the time he suckled on her breasts, alternating between them and
sending her spiraling out of control. This was her Dom.
“Please may I come, Master?”
He raised his head from her breast. “Not yet.” His voice was
thick with desire.
No, he couldn’t be doing this. Through half-closed eyes, she
watched him move down her body, push her legs further apart and then settle
between her thighs. The next thing she felt was the swipe of his tongue over
her labia, his thumbs pulling the folds apart and then he was suckling on her
clit the way he had her nipples, drawing it into his mouth, flicking his tongue
over it and arousing her even more.
There were no bonds holding her in place, no floggers or
paddles there with the threat to redden her rear. Her Dom held her where he
wanted her by the force of his will. Her back arched away from the pillows,
automatically forcing her hips into the bed and her pussy away from his
devouring mouth.
Beth could do nothing to resist when he pulled her toward
him, laying her flat on the bed. She heard the sound of a zip, the tear of a
foil packet and then Adam was over her, his weight all on his muscular arms as
his cock plunged into her.
God, he was so big, long and thick. Her pussy wanted to
clench around him to slow down the deep thrusts. His jeans were rough against
her thighs, abrading the sensitive skin, making her spread her legs even wider,
offering her pussy up to him.
Her orgasm was unbearably close. She begged again for
permission to come but the only response she received was to have her Master
thrust more deeply into her. She didn’t even realize that tears were rolling
down her face, from pure, unadulterated, sensual ecstasy and the effort
required to keep its natural culmination at bay.
“Now, Beth. Come for me, love!”
Her orgasm was a chain of erotic explosions, a volatile
cascade that for a moment threatened to tear her apart. It was Adam’s weight
that kept her from going into orbit as he held her, keeping his own orgasm in
check until hers was done.
He rolled to one side, taking her with him, holding onto her
as she came back down from the heights.
Beth had never felt his ownership of her more keenly than
she did now in her Dom’s arms, naked save for his collar. Still caught in a
post-orgasmic euphoria, she pressed closer to him, a little confused by the
ensuing deep male chuckle that vibrated through his chest.
“My sweet little sub,” he murmured into her hair. “You see
what you do to me, my love? I can’t keep my hands off you.”
* * * * *
That night Beth found it difficult to fall asleep even
though Adam was by her side and Dan was down the hall.
Dan had arrived back at Winterleigh with bad news. A
scruffy-looking stranger had been spotted in the area, his presence of note
simply because of the fact that strangers were a rarity in the village. People
passed through but this one was loitering to the extent that one or two of the
locals Dan spoke to had wondered about calling the police to send him on his
way. From their descriptions, the man sounded enough like Jimmy Underwood to be
his brother and therefore was a cause for concern.
There had been a heated discussion about video surveillance.
Dan wanted to put closed-circuit cameras around the estate but not only did
Adam not want them—regarding them as an invasion of his privacy—he maintained
that it was too late with the threat literally on the doorstep. In parts, it
was an almost word-for-word replay of the conversation they’d had twelve months
earlier when Dan had supervised the installation of the security system.