"
I needed to know." Something moved in his
eyes then. And something appeared to die. Maybe it was hope? Kate
didn't try to guess over the pain in her chest. She simply wanted
to escape the room.
She watched Spencer's frown deepen into
frustration. His sharply indrawn breath was harsh in the strained
silence. "Then, I won't insult your intelligence by saying any such
thing ever again. It's far too late anyway."
"
Fine, then I'll get out of your way." Kate
side-stepped around him, heading out of the room. "I'm sorry
Spencer, but I must decline your flattering offer of marriage. I'm
sure Katerina will jump at the chance to take my place."
"
Kate, look I—" Spencer followed her to the
door.
She avoided his hand neatly. "I don't
think there's anything left to say between us," she said, looking
back from the doorway. "Nothing at all. You'll have my resignation
as soon as I can get it typed up."
"
Then there is nothing to say. Nothing that
you're prepared to listen to, obviously," Spencer growled hardly,
before he reached to snap the door shut in her face.
Kate wished Saturday would never come.
They'd been incredibly busy for the rest of the week and when the
stream of patients didn't diminish by late Friday afternoon, she
began to hope that the monthly staff barbecue would be postponed.
But one of the other practices was on call for that weekend and the
steady flow of people slowly diminished to a trickle and then
ceased all together by six-thirty that night.
An hour later Kate pulled herself out of
her chair and went home. The idea of attending the barbecue made
her stomach churn. But she knew she must go because too many people
would be disappointed if she didn't show up. Her letter of
resignation burned a hole in the bottom of her bag and she went
home. It was the hardest letter she had ever been forced to
write.
She spent an extra hour at the surgery on
Saturday morning catching up on paperwork that didn't require her
to think of anything beyond filling out all the details of her
notes and making sure everything was on file and place for her
unknown successor. When the time came for her to leave she took two
pain killers for her headache and prayed she could get through the
dreadful day ahead without breaking down.
Kate watched Katerina circulate through
the crowd, charming everyone within reach with her laughter,
chatting as if she'd never been away. Kate kept her distance, but
she couldn't help noticing the other woman was older and taller
than she'd expected. After an hour, Katerina disappeared inside the
house with Spencer, saying she needed to lie down for a while.
There was no sign of Jamie and Kate was left to wonder what the boy
made of his mother's sudden reappearance.
She had just decided to leave when she
encountered Spencer. He drew her away from the crowded garden and
into the shelter of the surrounding trees, his expression
forbidding.
"
Katerina maintains she's pregnant. That's
what she came over to tell me. It seems Nic has thrown her out.
He's convinced she's been fooling around because the baby can't be
his. He's sure it's mine, I would guess because Katerina has led
him to think that."
"
Oh, God." Kate bit her lip. "What will you
do?"
"
This isn't how it looks. Katerina is
nothing like you. She may look like you, but underneath it all
she's a scheming, manipulative woman. She'll do anything, say
anything to get her own way. The custody thing was just a ploy to
get my attention, make sure I was listening when she dropped the
bombshell. She needed a bolt-hole and picked me. Right now she's
very troubled and has nowhere else to go. What could I
do?"
"
She is Jamie's mother," Kate stated
slowly.
"
Yes, but a small act of nature doesn't
give her the right to just re-appear and upset everyone's lives.
She's an excellent actress and is set on charming everyone into
thinking she's a wronged woman."
Kate took a backward step. "But she needs
you, Spencer, now more than ever. And Jamie will need her, so it's
all for the best."
His blue eyes followed her progress, full
of torment. "And what about my needs? What about us? My offer still
stands, you know."
"
Us?" She frowned. "From now on there can't
be any us, Spencer. There can never be anything more between us
than that one night. I'm sorry, but I really can't marry you. It
was just a silly little dream."
He would never know how hard that was for
her to say. She heard a tiny, brittle sound in the back of her mind
and knew it was her heart breaking.
"
And if I ask you to stay? Marry me,
despite all this? We could be so good together. I do love you,
Kate. Even if you say you don't believe me. That will never
change."
"
I can't do this." These were the words she
most wanted to hear him say. But she had already done that. She
wouldn't go through the pain again.
"
I'm not Eric, Kate," Spencer said quietly.
"You know that."
"
I know and I..."
love you for it
, she finished silently. "I know
how difficult this must be."
"
Difficult." Spencer groaned. "Yes,
difficult is a good word. Impossible would be a better choice." His
frowning blue eyes were resigned. "Take good care of yourself, Kate
Martin. May you find everything you've been looking
for."
"
I hope so too." Kate's throat closed with
tears as she backed away and made good her escape.
It was the best for their son. To give
Katerina's unborn child a wonderful father. Kate was sure it was
the best thing for them. A family should be held together if at all
possible. As she hurried away, she hoped Spencer would see her
selfless actions as truly necessary. Only she knew how much it cost
her to leave him standing there alone.
As she was leaving, Edith and her husband
hurried over. For once Kevin looked acutely unhappy.
"
What Spencer does is none of our business,
you know," he muttered morosely. "But that woman gives me the
creeps."
"
Men." Edith frowned at her husband. She
slanted Kate an interested glance. "We've met the ex-wife and I
didn't like her. She's a scheming, manipulative female who'll stop
at nothing until she's wrecked everything."
"
It doesn't matter any more." Try as she
might, Kate couldn't make small talk.
"
You love him." Edith's wide eyes held
hers. They were full of sympathy. "He wanted to marry you, not her.
Doesn't that mean anything?"
Her husband cleared his throat. "I said
it's none of our business," he grumbled. "That woman's got Spencer
right where she wants him. We're better off out of it. Only cause
trouble."
"
Rubbish." Edith chided him. "And besides,
even a blind man could see how much Spencer loves Kate. That woman
gave him up once, she can't just waltz back here and expect to snap
her fingers and take him back. She's not his."
"
But what if I don't want him?" Kate breathed
raggedly.
"
You can't fool me, Kate Martin." Edith
smiled mistily and patted her arm. "You want him badly. But then at
the moment, I can see everything clearly. Must be all those
hormones zipping around inside me."
She placed a hand over her stomach, patting
it with a tiny smile. Kevin gave her a sloppy grin.
"
Oh, Edith, I'm so pleased for you." Kate
forgot her own misery. She reached to kiss the other woman's cheek
and gave Kevin a hug.
"
Didn't plan it. Just sort of happened."
His sheepish grin widened.
"
So, what about you and Spencer?" Edith
wasn't about to be distracted. "What are you going to do about that
woman?"
Kate shook her head. "She's Jamie's
mother. What more can I do?"
"
Fighting for what you want is a good
start," Edith said stoutly. "Katerina's no good for Spencer or
Jamie. You are. That little boy loves you to bits and that woman
will get bored soon enough and be off again to some other man. I
think that fiancé of hers had a lucky escape."
Kate grimaced. "But Spencer doesn't want
me."
"
Rubbish, anyone with eyes can see he wants
you. That he's mad about you. That's a great start in anyone's
book. Don't let that red haired creature get her hooks into him
again. Go in there and take him away from her. He wants you to do
that."
"
I didn't know that Spencer wanted Kate,"
her husband put in plaintively.
"
Well, we'll make an exception for you."
Edith smiled up at him. "You never were very astute."
Kevin blinked. "Ah, come on, that's not
fair."
"
I think I'd better go. Congratulations
again, you two." Kate slipped away leaving them to their good
natured wrangling.
But
Edith's words wouldn't go away. While
she got ready for bed, Kate went over them again.
What if Edith is
right
? Could
Kate reach out and grab what she wanted? Could she take the risk?
Her heart told her it was the right thing to do, even as her head
demanded she be logical and keep well away.
But, in that breathless moment, Kate
didn't feel at all like being rational. For once in her life she
was going to take an enormous risk and not measure the
consequences.
Sunday dawned bright and hot. Unsure of her
next move, Kate drove to the mountain, to clear her mind and make
her plans. She drove along the narrow road knifing steadily upwards
into the cool green gloom of the forest.
As she cleared the trees, a large black
helicopter clattered close overhead, disturbing the air. It curved
a wide path towards the ocean before turning north, soon vanishing
into the blue haze of the distance.
Kate reached the end of the road, a
circular parking area halfway up the broad flaring skirts of the
mountain and was startled to see Spencer's four-wheel drive already
there. Kate's heart began to jump as she slotted her car into the
next space and cut the engine.
Kate searched and found no sign of Spencer
in the lodge beyond the car-park. Light and laughter spilled from
the mullioned windows of the restaurant onto the grey slate
flagstones that flanked the main buildings.
Now distracted and confused, Kate decided to
head out on the trail that led further up the mountain. Maybe he
was there. The rambling rocky track took her to a viewing spot over
the crumpled hills far below. From here she could see everything
running down to the wide blue sweep of the distant ocean.
The long vista of grass and rock strewn land
curved down from the mountain towering behind her, the deserted,
lonesome appearance of the land exactly suited her confused mood. A
gusty breeze flowed caressed her cheek, bringing the scents of the
distant ocean. There was still no sign of Spencer.
Kate frowned over her options, inhaling the
cool, salt tinged air. She pulled herself up onto a large rock. The
wind played through her hair. Raising her hand, she tucked a bunch
of errant curls behind her ear. It was getting too long. She really
must find time to have her hair cut and styled.
She pressed her lips together. If only—
"
Kate..."
Kate swallowed against the sudden dryness
of her throat. She didn't turn around.
"
Kate?" Now the wind held a question, one
that she didn't know how to answer.
With infinite slowness she turned, pulling
herself around across the rock's rough surface. Her heart thudded
heavily against her ribs.
"
Spencer!" Her heart took off at a
sickening pace. "I've been looking for you. I saw your car down
below." Her immediate horizon wobbled alarmingly.
When he didn't speak she began to
flounder, seeking the necessary words with which to string a
single, intelligible sentence together.
"
Ah, don't look at me like that, Kate,"
Spencer said finally, on a long ragged breath, as he shook his
head. "For God's sake, get down from that rock, before you fall
off."
"
Why did you come up here?" Kate got slowly
down from her perch. Her heart rose into her throat, its
accelerated pace sending her senses tumbling.
"
You look like you've seen a ghost."
Spencer's hands settled on his hips. His eyes reflected concerned
watchfulness.
"
You did give me a fright." Kate caught her
breath, gathered her scattered defenses. "I searched, but couldn't
find you down at the lodge."
"
So, you decided to come up here looking
for me?" Spencer asked. "Why?" He slanted her a long, considering
look.
"
I wanted to talk to you," Kate replied
defensively. "Sort a few things out. The truth this
time."