Marriage Under Suspicion (19 page)

gambler—and this time I risked everything.'

There was a silence. Then, 'I don't believe you.' Her voice cracked. 'How could you do

such a thing?'

'I needed a reaction from you.' Ryan said with quiet intensity. 'I suppose, God help me,

that I wanted you to fight for me—to show that you cared. That, somehow, against all the

odds, you still shared our dream.'

He lifted her hands and held them against his heart.

'I love you, Kate—more than you'll ever know. I'd have done all this and more to win you

back to me. If you can't forgive me for it—that's something I'll learn to endure somehow.

But I had to try.'

'You let me go through all that?' She was shaking now. 'Follow you round London—

everywhere...?' He groaned. 'I swear I never thought it would get that far. If you'd

challenged me at any point, I'd have told you the truth at once. I expected we'd have one

almighty blow-up—make or break time. I was prepared for that. But whichever way it

turned out—I still had to know.'

He took her face tenderly in his hands, staring into her eyes, his own hazel gaze

anguished. 'I wouldn't blame you if you hated me. But you did follow me, Katie. You're

here now where you belong. Doesn't that, surely, mean that you care? That we have

something together that's worth fighting for?'

His face was pleading—vulnerable. She heard the uncertainty in his tone—the self-

blame.

And suddenly she saw their marriage as he had seen it. And, in that moment, realised

how close to the brink they had come. How easy it could have been to slide into the

abyss.

We were growing apart, she thought with shock. I should have realised when Peter

Henderson asked me to have dinner with him that first time, and I was actually tempted.

Or perhaps I did know, and that's what sent me racing home. Maybe I sensed the danger

too.

In the stillness, she heard him whisper her name.

'I care.' Her voice broke. 'Oh, Ryan, I've been so miserable—so utterly wretched.' She

leaned forward, her lips trembling, clumsy as they found his, her hands clinging to his

shoulders. 'I thought you didn't want me any more.'

'It was never that, my darling.' He held her close.

'But it seemed to me that even making love had drifted into a routine. And that a period

of abstinence might do us both some good.'

He groaned. 'Although turning away from you was the worst thing I've ever had to do.

Sometimes I was so crazy for you, I didn't dare come to bed.' Something like the old grin

touched his mouth. 'But I knew my resolve couldn't last for ever. And the other night it

broke, with spectacular results.'

Kate kissed him again, more lingeringly. 'I remember it well. But why did you walk away

from me in the morning—when I wanted to come here with you? Why didn't you explain

it all to me then?'

He was silent for a moment. 'I suppose I was afraid that bed might be the only place

where we ever came to terms,' he said at last. 'And I wanted our marriage to work on

every level. And also because I wasn't coming straight to Yorkshire. I made a slight

detour on the way.'

'Oh?' Kate stiffened slightly in his arms.

Ryan nodded, slightly shamefaced. 'I have another confession to make. I've been house-

hunting. I know how you feel about the flat, but I'm homesick for grass and trees and air

that you can breathe, Katie. I want some space around me, and my own land to walk on.

And there's Algy. He was bought for me originally, but I've never had anywhere to keep

him.'

He paused. 'However, I realise you may not feel the same, so I thought—I hoped we

could compromise.' He sounded anxious. 'Keep the flat on as well. Divide our time

between the two somehow.'

She touched his face tenderly with her hand. 'I think the baby would much prefer the

countryside. And I want to share our dream again too.' She shook her head. 'I knew

something was missing. I just didn't know how to get it back.'

'But your work, Katie. The company. I know how much it means to you. And I want you

to have it still.'

'I can work from home,' she said. 'Plenty of other women do. Although we'll need

separate offices,' she added, crinkling her brow thoughtfully. 'Do I take it your detour was

a success? That you've found somewhere?'

He nodded. 'It has real possibilities.' His voice was eager. 'It has a big garden, and an

orchard, although the property itself needs some work. But the couple who own it have

just celebrated their golden wedding, and they say it's a house for happiness...' He

stopped abruptly. 'My God, does that sound ridiculously sentimental?'

'Not,' she said, 'to me.' For the first time in weeks, she felt totally at peace with herself,

aware of tiny tendrils of hope and joy uncurling deep inside her. Putting out strong

shoots, she thought. And smiled. 'Will Algy like the baby?'

'Bassets are terrific with kids,' Ryan assured her, then paused again, his face altering. 'My

God, it's just occurred to me. The other night, when we made love—was it safe? Could

we have hurt the baby?'

'The baby,' Kate told him softly, 'is just going to have to accustom itself. Starting now.'

Taking her time, she began to unbutton his shirt.

There was laughter in his voice. 'Does this mean you forgive me?'

'I might.' Kate pushed him gently back on the bed, and began to trail small kisses down

his chest. 'As long as you're prepared to make full amends.'

'I shall devote the rest of my life to doing just that.' He drew her down to him, his mouth

warm with promise as it caressed hers. The touch of his hands sure and knowing as he

freed her from her clothes.

'Welcome back, Katie,' he whispered, as they came together in a sweet and tender giving.

'My wife—my only love. Welcome back.'

'I'll never forgive Louie for this,' Kate said wrath-fy, as she struggled with the zip on

the hyacinth-blue wool dress. 'Couldn't she have waited a few more weeks to get

married?'

'Let me do that.' Ryan came over to her, closed the zip, fastened the hook and eye, and

bent to kiss the curve of her neck. 'Besides, would anything have stopped us?'

'I suppose not.' Kate ran her hands over her bump. 'Just look at me. If I had a basket to

carry, I'd be the image of a hot-air balloon. It will serve Louie and Peter right if I go into

labour in the middle of the ceremony.'

'You look beautiful.' Smiling, Ryan rested his chin on her shoulder. 'The title "matron of

honour" has never been more richly deserved.

'And once the wedding's over,' he went on more sternly, 'you're going to take it easy.

Moving house, and organizing your best friend's reception, is not what a pregnant lady

should be doing.'

'I feel fine,' she assured him. 'And once I saw the house I wanted to be in it immediately.

And I didn't do any actual lifting,' she added coaxingly.

'Damned right,' Ryan said with emphasis as he turned away to put on his coat.

'And I had to do the reception,' she went on. 'After all, Special Occasions brought them

together.'

Or at least gave Peter the excuse he needed to call back and meet Louie again, she

thought with satisfaction. Nature had seen to the rest, and had wasted no time about it.

'Fate can be really terrific sometimes,' she mused aloud. 'Have you ever met two people

so happy—or so completely suited?'

'Oh, I can think of one other couple,' Ryan returned, clasping her fingers as they walked

together down the curving flight of honey-coloured wood stairs.

Algy was sitting in his basket in the hall, looking glum, with something white and lacy

dangling from his jowls.

'Oh, God,' Kate said wearily. 'He's got another of my bras. Why does he do this?'

'He hates us going out and leaving him, so he takes something to remember us by.'

'Well, he can't go with us. Not after his behaviour at Sally's christening party. Half my

new nephew's cake had gone before we caught him,' Kate said severely. 'And why can't

he pinch your stuff for a change?' She bent and stroked the basset's wrinkled forehead. 'At

this rate, I'll have no underwear left.'

'A dog after my own heart,' Ryan murmured, dodging the mock blow she aimed at him.

'Wait here, darling, while I bring the car round. It's too cold for you to stand about

outside.'

Left to herself, Kate wandered into the drawing room, and stood looking out of the

window. Patches of last night's frost still silvered the lawn, and only the most resolute

leaves still clung to the tree branches.

Before too long it would be Christmas—their first in their new home—and then, in the

new year, their baby would be born.

Kate laid a protective hand on her tummy, feeling the child kick.

Our significant other, she thought with satisfaction. And went to join her husband.