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Authors: Samuel L. Hair

Marriage Mayhem (14 page)

BOOK: Marriage Mayhem
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“The bitch ain't no good, anyhow,” yelled Bobby. He took a long gulp to finish what was inside the can, and then began talking again. “What woman in her right mind would leave her kids at home alone at two o'clock in the fuckin' morning to go buy some goddamn crack? What kinda woman would leave her kids with her sister for months and months at a time while she run the streets selling pussy and smoking dope? What kinda woman in her right mind would keep introducing her kids to different men and tell them to call him Daddy? I'll tell you what kinda woman would do that, man: a woman that doesn't give a fuck about nuttin'! I hate to say it, man, but how in the hell can that bitch love you and she don't even care about herself or her own kids?” Bobby then went to the fridge and grabbed another beer.
“Karen doesn't appreciate you, Jermaine. She's used to street niggas. That's it and that's all.”
“'Cause the bitch is retarded, that's why! She needs a fuckin' mental tune-up, that's what she needs!” yelled Bobby, then seated himself.
With an open mind, Jermaine sat listening to the people who had known Karen for practically all of her life. They expressed things about her that he really did not care to hear, but needed to hear for his own good.
“Man, you better make sure that bitch take her medication too, because if she doesn't, man, you're gonna catch hell. That heffa gets violent, loud, and ignorant as a muthafucka when she don't take those fuckin' psych meds. She's been to prison two times for assault and once for attempted murder. Apparently, nigga, you ain't done your homework. Your ass got sprung on her pussy and head, and then married the bitch,” Bobby said, then busted into laughter again.
Having heard enough negativity about Karen, Jermaine excused himself and left for work. When he walked out, Bobby was still laughing.
On numerous occasions Jermaine had witnessed Karen driving his Mustang fast and recklessly. He was the type of driver that never appeared to be in a hurry. One of the mottos he lived by was “Whatever a person doesn't take care of, will sooner or later let them down.”
One day after seeing her turn a corner doing about thirty miles an hour, he thought,
Damn. I've got to get her out of my Mustang before she tears it up. I'll buy her a bucket tomorrow. That way she can screw up her own car rather than mess up mine.
The following day, two good things happened for Karen while she was working. The first good thing occurred during her lunch break. Jermaine approached her and a few co workers standing in front of Target and handed her a set of keys.
“Here baby, these fit the ignition to your Honda Accord,” he said, smiling. Then he grabbed her hand and led her to the car. Like Romeo and Juliet, they hugged and kissed all the way to the car. Her coworkers looked at one another in complete jealousy.
“I wish my man would buy me a damn car. Hell, I have to ride the bus to work every day,” said one coworker.
“I wish I had a man,” voiced another coworker.
“Hell, she should appreciate her husband and quit hitting on Rodger. One day while I was showing her where I wanted a new product shelved, hell, she couldn't keep her eyes off Rodger's dick imprint. I mean, it's obvious the man is packing beef, but the way Karen stared at it was shameless and made me turn my head, girl,” said Karen's department manager.
“Yeah, you ain't lying, because she's damn sure been paging him to electronics an awful lot lately,” said another worker.
“Rodger? You mean old tired-looking Rodger?” asked Shaquita.
“Yeah, I mean old tired-ass Rodger,” replied Dot. “I know damn well all of y'all have seen his big dick print in those tight-ass pants he be wearing all the time. Hell, it looks like the man has a damn anaconda between his legs, how can you miss it? I'll bet that every woman who works here have seen that big, long snake between his legs.”
“Hell, I see it just about every day, but it doesn't excite me. Rumor has it that he can't do a damn thing with it but piss. Mary told me that the damn thing don't even get hard, girl.”
They busted in laughter a few moments until another asked a question out of curiousity.
“What could Karen possibly want with Rodger? Hell, he couldn't have any money working here at Target with us,” stated Meagan, and then exhaled her cigarette smoke.
“It's not always money, girl. Haven't you ever saw those movies where the woman is filthy rich, but ain't got a dick in her life. Or that woman whose always home alone because her husband is constantly away on business. Hell, I even heard of a case where a husband couldn't satisfy his wife so they both agreed to drive to the ghetto and pay a black man with a big dick to satisfy her. I'm telling you, girl, it's some weird people out there,” explained Dot.
“But that's not the case with Karen. Hell, she has a good man that takes care of kids that aren't even his, he makes damn good money, and from what she tells me he has money invested in real estate, and he wrote a book. The only thing I can think of is that she's a freak for big dicks,” said Shaquita.
“Just because she tells you that she's happy and content doesn't mean she really is. People will tell you what they want you to know. If she were happy and satisfied with her husband then why in the hell would she be staring at Rodger's dick? Besides, you guys are missing the whole point! Just because her husband is this and that, does not mean he's fucking her right! Women like to be fucked, licked, and caressed slowly and gently, and—”
“Calm down, Dot, before you get wet between the legs,” another worker said.
It had been years since Dot had a piece of dick. She had to suddenly excuse herself to go to the restroom. Talking about sex caused her to get soaking wet, but she did not want the others to know.
The one thing Dot had been right about was Karen's attraction to Rodger. Rodger was sixty-four years old, tall and slender, and dark brown complexioned. Even though it was 2004, Rodger still chose to dress as he did in his forties and fifties, wearing tight clothes and outdated shoes. Most of the Target employees made fun of him whenever they would see him, but not Karen. She smiled whenever she saw him. Regardless of Rodger's appearance, he possessed something she liked: a long, fat dick.
An hour prior to Jermaine showing up, Karen had put aside her job responsibilities to go look for Rodger. After searching with no success, she decided to page him over the intercom to her department. Dot had also heard the page and decided to be nosy. Nonchalantly, Dot stood on the next aisle pretending to be stocking product, but was actually waiting for Rodger to show. When Rodger finally showed, unfortunately Dot could not clearly hear their conversation, but heard enough to spread to employees and managers throughout the store.
“Did someone page me to electronics?” asked Rodger. Like every day, he had on those skintight pants.
“Yes, I paged you, Rodger,” Karen replied, smiling. She tried to give him eye contact, but could not keep her eyes off that huge, long imprint in his pants. She suddenly wished she could put her hand inside his pocket to get a quick feel.
Boy, would I like to ride that,
she thought.
“How may I help you, Karen?”
“Actually, I just wanted some advice from you, Rodger. With you being a senior employee and all I felt that you would have more knowledge than other employees here about certain things. I hope you don't mind me taking a little of your time,” Karen said, smiling, while throwing occasional glances at his crotch.
“Not at all, Karen. It's my pleasure to be of assistance to people.”
“There are a few things inside the employee handbook that I don't quite understand and if you don't mind, I'd like for you to clarify some of those things after work. It seems like all the department managers and store managers are always too busy to clarify things to me, so if you don't mind, I'd like you to.”
“That would be my pleasure. Anything I can do to help a fellow employee makes my day,” replied Rodger, with a big Target smile.
He then gave her his home address and agreed to go over the entire employee handbook with her at 6:30 p.m., fully aware of her intentions.
Chapter 9
Denise was mad as hell at Karen for taking advantage of her father. During her anger she continuously tried calling Tyrone, but unfortunately he kept hanging up in her face. He was still upset at her for having him make a blank trip. Denise then began calling family members informing them on what had taken place, but each of them had told her to let her father resolve his own issues. They had also advised her to not try and come between her father and his wife. Knowing that her father was the calm type and nonviolent, Denise felt that she had to step up and do something. This had now gotten personal.
A few hours later, Tyrone finally decided to call Denise back.
“What's your problem?” Tyrone asked, with an attitude.
“Have you forgotten about what that bitch did to you or something? The reason I ask is because I haven't heard from you. Talk to me, what's up?” asked Denise.
Maurice was at work and her son was asleep. She had nothing better to do than to plot revenge.
“Bitch, you had me and my homeys come all the way out there for some bullshit! Why in the fuck you keep callin' me? You must think I'm some kinda goddamn toy or something!” Tyrone took a long swig of Olde English 800.
“I wish you would stop calling me a bitch. Your bitch is the one who sliced your dick and played you like a piano.”
“What?” He could not believe she was talking to him like this.
“You heard me.” Her aim was to get him angry enough to come back to Lancaster.
“I know you didn't say what I think you said.”
“Yeah, I said it, now what?” Denise was getting bolder.
“You betta check yourself!”
“Anyway, how is that wound of yours?” she asked sarcastically.
“What the fuck do you want? I ain't got time for this bullshit! Have you seen Karen or you just need a conversation?”
“No I haven't seen her, but I'll know where to find her within a day or so.”
“Well holla at me when you got somethin' solid, and don't call me with no more bullshit,” Tyrone said, and then hung up.
She had not been to her father's house since he'd gotten it remodeled, but today she planned on paying him a lengthy visit. After all, she was Daddy's little girl, regardless of his wife, his mother, or any other woman that thought she could come before her.
Later that day Denise treated her father to lunch at Sizzler. To her surprise, she gained much more than she had anticipated. With Jermaine not having any more blood relatives within a couple hundred miles, he gave her a spare set of keys to all of his cars and also to his home, and also gave her the combination to his safe. He was preparing himself for if something was ever to happen. Based on what he found out from Karen's relatives and from people that had known her for years, he felt that she was definitely capable of physically harming him, especially if she had not taken her psych meds.
After lunch, Denise followed Jermaine home. Everything was going as planned.
When entering her father's home, she could not believe the renovations he'd made.
“Daddy, your house is beautiful and so immaculate. Where did you get all this good taste?”
“I guess I got it from my mama,” he replied, smiling.
“I guess so. I never knew that a man could have such good taste in decorating a home. Now when it comes to cars, I know guys have better taste than women, but furnishing and decorating a house is another story.”
“I like nice things, and like things to coordinate.”
Once she stepped inside Jermaine's front door, the new marble floor immediately caught her eye. Inside the living room there was a beige sectional sofa that had recliners at each end. To the right of the sofa there was a hundred-gallon aquarium filled with exotic saltwater fish. On the wall there were pictures of tigers in the jungle and African art. Also, there was a five-shelf glass stand where he had placed numerous African art pieces that matched perfectly with the pictures. Making her way to the dining room, Denise noticed another beautiful picture of an African American family sitting at the table blessing the food at breakfast time.
“Ooh, Daddy, I love that picture. How much did it cost?”
“I think it ran me about four hundred.”
“Four hundred dollars for a picture?”
“Sometimes when you really want something you don't care how much it costs. I call it treating yourself,” Jermaine replied, smiling.
“I guess,” said Denise.
Jermaine then showed her the two rooms that had been added on during the time he had moved in with her. He had converted one of the rooms into a family room. The other room that he referred to as his game room had a pool table, an air hockey game, and a chess table, a 42-inch plasma television on the wall, and had even had a wet bar built.
“You are something else, Daddy.”
“You only live once, baby, and you've got to do it right.”
After seeing his backyard and upstairs, Denise gave her father a kiss, and then left.
She wasted no time stopping at the nearest phone booth to call Tyrone.
“Don't be bullshittin', Denise. The homeys are already mad at you for making a blank trip out there the last time,” Tyrone said.
“Man, I ain't got time for this. I'm telling you that she lives with my father. If you don't believe me, then fuck it, stay your black ass in LA. And one other thing: under no circumstances do you harm my father. He doesn't have anything to do with what Karen did to you and he has nothing to do with any of her bullshit. As a matter of fact, I think he's on the verge of divorcing her.”
“Don't trip, baby girl, I ain't got no beef with your daddy. It's all good. I'm on my way.”
Tyrone then immediately called a couple of his homeboys to go on a mission with him. Like always, they were down for anything and ready to bring on the drama.
Meanwhile, Karen was sitting next to Rodger on his living room sofa. When she had gotten off work she could not wait to pay him a visit.
Make my day, Rodger, make my day,
Karen thought.
“I really enjoy working at Target, but it's my future that I'm concerned about,” Karen said, while sipping coffee.
“Well, let me tell you, Karen, if you're looking for a company that's going to give you a whole lot of money and benefits, then you're employed by the wrong place. I've been a Target employee for a little over six years now and as far as raises or benefits I have seen no changes. Of course, there's been talk about it like at any other company, but that's about it,” Rodger explained.
Karen's mind was elsewhere as he spoke. Her eyes were on the long, fat bulge between his legs. Rodger continued talking about his experience at Target. Realizing she did not have much time to work with, Karen decided to make a move. She sat her coffee cup on the table, and then leaned over and boldly began kissing Rodger, while slowly rubbing his bulge. He started to pull out his dentures to better respond to her kisses, but quickly dismissed the thought. There had been numerous female employees who had spotted Rodger's penis print. Some had asked him out to lunch, some had asked him to come over to do maintenance around their apartments or homes, and others had asked him to sit with them during breaks. Rodger was overwhelmed by the advances and attention he was getting, but the thing was, he could never get it up. His penis was a dead soldier.
Seeing that his penis was not responding to her kisses and caressing, Karen then unzipped his pants and whipped it out. Rodger smiled and sat calmly, letting her do her thing even though he knew it was pointless.
“Damn, it's so big and long. It feels good in my hand, but I bet it will feel even better inside me,” Karen said, while stroking it.
“Yeah, that's what they tell me,” said Rodger, proudly. Her touch felt good to him, but it would have felt even better if he would get hard.
“Why won't it get hard? Most men respond to my touch with an instant erection.”
“Well, it must be you, because I don't have a problem getting hard for any other woman, so it must be you,” Rodger lied. He knew that his penis was useless as far as sex was concerned, but he enjoyed women caressing it and playing with it in hopes that they would begin sucking it.
Karen stripped out of her clothes, then she positioned Rodger at the edge of the couch, and then she got on her knees and began licking his fat, long, snake and sucking it nice and slowly. Rodger felt like he was in heaven. He took off his bifocals and relaxed, smiling, enjoying the pleasures of her lips and tongue.
“Damn, that feels good. This is the best head job I've ever had in my life.”
Karen was not in the mood for flattery. She wanted to ride it. She sucked, licked, slurped, and did everything possible to get it hard, but the damn thing would not budge. She then tried turning on some music, dirty dancing for him, but that did not work either.
“Damn, Rodger, your dick won't respond to anything I do.”
“Then maybe you should try something new.”
“Let me see if I can get the head in, then slide down on it and ease it in.”
“Oh, I like the way you talk,” replied Rodger, smiling and grinning.
She then climbed on top and attempted to put it inside her hoping that her hot, juicy, wet pussy would cause it to stiffen, but still it was no use. The damn thing just would not respond.
“Damn Rodger, what's going on?” She was tired, frustrated, getting angry, and now ready to go home and watch a porn movie to get herself off.
“It's you, baby. Let's start over, maybe it'll be different this time,” Rodger suggested, smiling.
Karen had already begun getting dressed. Rodger remained on the sofa, wanting her to suck it and play with it some more.
“I've got to get you some Viagra,” Karen said, picking up her purse.
“If you think that will work, then go ahead and buy some. What I really think you should do is try it again,” Rodger suggested, smiling, stroking his penis.
“Thanks for inviting me over. You have a good day and I'll see you tomorrow at work. Oh, and please don't go running your mouth to the people at work about our business. If you be a good boy, tomorrow I'll bring you a couple pills of Viagra. It doesn't make sense for a man to have a dick that damn big and the damn thing won't even get hard.” Then she walked out and closed the door behind her.
Rodger sat back, smiling stroking his penis, and then suddenly remembered the video camera was still going. He got up and took the disk out of the camera and then put it inside his computer and began watching it.
So far, Rodger had videotaped over twenty-five Target employees, naked and in action trying to get him hard. Even though his penis had never gotten hard during any of those events, he enjoyed watching the movies for his personal entertainment. Thinking about the different techniques women used on him kept a smile on his face while working.
When Karen finally made it home, she walked inside to an infuriated husband.
“Why are you so late getting home?” Jermaine asked, knowing that she had gotten off work almost two hours ago. He had gotten off early and had already picked up the kids.
“I had to take care of some business,” Karen lied.
“Mommy, Mommy,” shouted Stevie and Alexus, running toward their mother. She tried to block Jermaine out and give the kids her attention, but Jermaine was not quite finished with her.
“I bought you a cell phone to keep in contact with me, Karen. If you had business to take care of then why didn't you let me know?”
“I thought I was a grown-ass woman. And why is it that you're trying to keep tabs on me? If you don't trust me, you shouldn't have ever married me,” she said with an attitude.
“If I knew half the things that I know now, believe me, I wouldn't have ever said ‘I do'.”
“Oh well.”
“And look at this house, it's a mess! The damn toilet is stopped up, because Alexus dropped something inside it, my keyboard doesn't work because she spilled milk inside it, the vertical blinds are bent and have black scribbling all over them, there's Kool-Aid and milk stains all over my new sofa, and my goddamn plasma television has ketchup and scratches on the screen! Will you please discipline and control your kids?” Jermaine was extremely heated.
“I've had about enough of your shit, Jermaine! All you do every day is fuckin' complain about my kids and I'm tired of it! Kids are going to be kids!” she yelled.
“I realize that kids are going to be kids, but there is such a thing as disciplining them and teaching them right from wrong. I ask you not to let them eat or drink inside the living room, but you insist on letting them. I ask you to pop Alexus on the hand when she's messing with my belongings, but you don't do a damn thing but say, ‘Stop, Alexus, I'm gonna whip you, but you never spank her. All you do is threaten her.”
Jermaine then suddenly diverted his attention to Stevie.
“Stevie, take out the trash and go clean up your room!”
Stevie started crying. Karen felt she needed to speak up.
“I don't feel that Stevie should have to take out the trash! You take it out, Jermaine!”
“What?” He could not believe that she had said that.
“You heard me, goddammit, I said you should take out the trash, not Stevie. Quit trying to make my son work all the time.” She had always been overprotective of Stevie.
A few days earlier Jermaine had told Stevie to smash the cans that were scattered about on the patio, but Stevie had run to his mother crying. Like always, she defended him.
“You're going to make a sissy out of that boy ! A little work isn't going to hurt him! All I'm doing is getting him use to responsibility, and get him in the habit of working,” explained Jermaine.
BOOK: Marriage Mayhem
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