Marked (21 page)

Panic laced my veins and my conversation with Jace
from the night before came rushing back, reminding me of the
answer. I was turning into a freaking werewolf.

Rachel gripped my arm and I jerked back a little.
“Whoa, are you okay?”

“
I’m fine, but I won’t be if we
don’t hurry up. The bell is about to ring.” I smiled, attempting to
gather myself together.

* * *

I found it hard to focus during first period. My
mind kept going back to the conversation Jace and I had had the
night before. I didn’t know what freaked me out more, the fact that
I was becoming a werewolf or that the man I’d thought was my father
for my whole life wasn’t. I wondered why my mother had never told
me and who my father had really been.

By lunch those thoughts had been pushed from my mind
while I found myself battling against my heightened senses again,
unable to decide which one was harder to deal with—my sharp hearing
or my supersonic sense of smell.

A group of girls giggled loudly while trying to
capture the attention of the guy they liked who was standing nearly
twelve feet away. The cafeteria was filled with yelling and so many
people talking at once I felt my head might split in two. All of
this mixed with people who smelled like they had literally bathed
in their perfume and cologne before coming to school mingling in
the air with the scent of spaghetti was enough to make me throw up
in my mouth a little with every step.

High school had turned into hell.

At the end of the day I couldn’t get to my car fast
enough. On my ride home I was extremely relieved my mother had
thought to ask for the remainder of the week off for me from work,
because I was positive my head would have exploded if I had gone.
The only thing I wanted to do was go home and lay on my bed in my
quiet room. Seeing my mom’s minivan parked in the driveway I
realized this was not going to be possible.

“
Hey, sweetheart. How was your
day?” mom asked as soon as I stepped through the front
door.

“
Fine,” I snapped unintentionally,
heading straight to my room to drop off my books.

“
Okay, that didn’t sound
believable. Is something bothering you?” she asked, her head
peeping down the hall after me.

I could see the concern etched into her stare and
all I could feel was anger toward her. I wanted to lash out and
tell her everything I’d just learned, especially the part about my
father not being my biological father. Questions swarmed through my
mind like angry little bees, but I didn’t release them. Instead, I
lied.

“
I’m just tired,” I said, being
sure none of my pent up emotions leaked into my words.

Mom glared at me with a skeptical look in her eyes.
It was the kind of look that made you feel like she could see right
through you, the look only mothers know how to make so well.
“Okay.” She sighed. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you decide you want
to talk.”

I hated it when she did that—the whole
almost
guilt trip thing, mixed with that skeptical gleam in her eye—it
made me feel remorseful every time. Part of me wanted to chase down
the hall after her, wrap my arms tightly around her, burry my head
into her chest just like I did when I was a little girl, and sob
while I told her everything that happened. Another part of me felt
that this wasn’t the time, that I was too angry about the entire
situation to confide in her or ask any of my questions. If all of
this were true, and I was beginning to believe that it was, then
the emotions that were sure to spew from me in the heat of the
moment could be catastrophic to our relationship.

I flung myself across my bed and let out a long
sigh. My cell phone buzzed in my coat pocket on the floor and I got
up to get it. It was a message from Jace.

I wanted to tell you again how sorry I am. I
understand you’re going through a lot right now, but know that I’m
here for you if you need me. And you will need me, Tessa,
eventually. Nobody can deal with this on their own in the
beginning.

My eyes blurred with tears. I wanted to respond back
that I was going through all of this because of him and his
selfishness, but I didn’t. Instead I said:

I don’t need you right now, Jace. What I need right
now is some time. ~ Tessa

It was a bittersweet lie. I was angry with him, but
I still wanted him, and as hard as it was for me to admit it right
now, I needed
him
more than anyone. Jace was the only one
who could explain to me exactly what was going on with my senses
and if there was anything else I should be expecting to happen
soon, like transforming into a wolf during a full moon. Plus, maybe
he could help me think of ways to confront my mother and ask the
questions that I felt desperately needed to be answered.

The only problem was, seeing him right now seemed
unfathomable.

* * *

“
Dinner,” dad announced, poking his
head in my doorway.

“
All right,” I said, glancing up
from my homework. “Let me just finish up with this last chemistry
equation.”

“
Okay.” He smiled. “So, how was
your day? Your mom said you came home in a funky mood.” He leaned
against my doorway and folded his arms across his chest.

I sighed and dropped my pencil into my chemistry
book to hold my place. “I’m fine; I’m just a little bit tired. It
was a really long day… everyone kept asking me if I was okay and
what had happened. I guess I just sort of felt bombarded with
questions all day and it put me in a grumpy mood. I didn’t mean to
take it out on her or seem snappy.”

“
I know. I’m sure you had a rough
day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and all those nosy kids will
lay off,” he said, his face remaining serious, but then he broke
into a smirk and winked at me before turning back down the
hall.

I smiled, but it was a sad smile. He was my dad, but
he wasn’t. I continued to sit on my bed, Indian style, and stared
at the space he’d just occupied. Bill Morganton was a good man and
I couldn’t call him anything less than dad. I realized then that to
me a father was someone who was there for a child no matter what,
someone who loved that child unconditionally. Not just a man who
had a part in creating it.

I opened my door all the way, and a tantalizing
scent stopped me in my tracks. The scent of roast beef flooded my
nostrils, making my mouth water, and my stomach began to growl and
twist with a hunger so strong it hurt.

Somehow I managed to make it from my bedroom all the
way to the dining room table without doubling over from the painful
spasms of hunger rippling through my stomach. Swallowing gulp-fs
of saliva, I sat across the table from my parents to eat. I had to
make a serious effort to act as normal as possible, because it was
like my mind was at war with my body.

My body wanted nothing more than for me to rip into
the steaming roast that was so delicately placed on the table like
a wild animal. In my mind, I was still rational, barking orders at
the rest of me to stay calm and to remember to get only normal-size
helpings of everything, not just the meat.

With a shaky hand I held my plate up and began
serving myself mashed potatoes and carrots first, desperately
trying to gain control over my sudden onset of hunger before I came
to the meat. While listening to both of my parents talk between
themselves about their day, my stomach let out a loud grumble.

“
Are you hungry, honey?” Dad
chuckled.

“
I’m starved,” I said, the
understatement of the year.

“
Didn’t you eat lunch at school?”
mom asked, that skeptical glare returning to her eyes.

“
Yeah,” I lied. I’d been too
preoccupied thinking my head was going to split in two to eat
anything then. “But it was small.”

I swallowed another large pool of saliva and began
slicing into a thick piece of meat with my fork. My stomach let out
another loud rumble as it eagerly anticipated the taste.

“
I placed a bid on the basement
remodel at the McFarland house today,” dad announced, obviously
ignoring my loud and angry stomach. I was glad.

Opening my mouth, I allowed myself a small bite of
the juicy roast, afraid that if I gave myself a larger bite I
wouldn’t be able to stop myself from stuffing my mouth sickeningly
full all at once. I learned quickly that eating one tiny bite at a
time wasn’t satisfying at all; it was merely teasing.

By the end of dinner I could still feel my stomach
twisting with hunger; it was no longer making the horrendous noises
for everyone else to hear, but I wasn’t full yet either. I felt as
though I had eaten air.

I helped mom clear the table, carrying everything
into the kitchen to be scraped into Tupperware containers and
refrigerated. Biding my time, I poured myself a tall glass of milk
and waited as patiently as I could for my parents to leave the
room. The sound of the TV turning on was my cue. I pulled the
leftover roast back out of the fridge and placed it on the
counter.

Without wasting any time on cutting with a knife and
a fork, I began to peel chunks off with my fingers and eat them.
Ten full minutes passed while I stood in the kitchen, eating chunks
of meat with my fingers and listening intently for any sign that my
parents might be coming.

When I finally felt my incredible sense of hunger
subside, I’d eaten the entire roast except for a hunk of fat on the
bottom. Quickly I put the lid back on and shoved the container back
into the fridge. I scurried down the hall to my room, wiping my
mouth with the back of my hand, hoping to hide any trace of my
uncontrollable, overindulgent eating binge that had just
occurred.

I closed my bedroom door hastily behind me and moved
to stare at my reflection in the mirror above my dresser. My face
looked normal. I was the same person as always, but I felt so
different inside.

An entire week passed. Jace gave me exactly what I’d
asked for—space. He didn’t talk to me and I never saw him. I found
myself losing control of everything—my mind, the hunger, and even
my life. Rachel and I were fighting because I was too grouchy at
school and snapped at her more than I should. It was only because
my senses were becoming more heightened every day. I began to
wonder if I would ever feel normal again. I lay awake in bed for
hours every night, crying because of what I was becoming and
feeling so alone.

After work on Wednesday night, while I sat in my
bedroom thinking, I decided I needed to see Jace. I didn’t know
what I would say or how I would feel seeing him, but he was the
only person who knew what was happening to me. And frankly, I’d
never been more scared in my entire life and could use someone’s
comfort.

Can you come visit me tonight? ~ Tessa

I sent him the text and sucked in a deep breath,
nervous that he wouldn’t respond. In just a few short moments he
responded back.

I’ll be there in 10.

I lay back against my pillow feeling relieved for
the first time since the attack. Jace might have been the one who
caused all of this, but he was also the one who could help guide me
through it. I tried to keep this in mind instead of all the
negative things I could focus on, that way I might be able to ask
the questions I needed and get the answers before my anger toward
him took over.

True to his word, ten minutes later I heard
footsteps approaching my bedroom window from outside. I crossed my
room and saw his handsome face appear. I’d forgotten how
breathtaking his features were. A shy smile came to his lips as I
opened the window and I felt emotions I hadn’t expected swim to the
surface of my mind—comfort, relief, safety, want, need.

“
Hey,” I whispered.

“
Hey yourself,” he replied back,
while popping the screen from the window. “I was getting scared
that you’d never call me. I’m so glad you did, though.”

A slight smile formed on my face mirroring his. “I’m
glad I did, too.”

Jace reached through the window and took my hand in
his. “So, how have you been feeling? Have you told anyone
anything?”

I stared into his bright amber-colored eyes,
noticing all of the concern for both questions etched in to them. I
could tell he genuinely cared about me, but I could also tell that
this wasn’t a secret to be told. “I’m trying to hang in there, I
guess. And no, I haven’t told anyone—who would believe me anyway?”
I chuckled a little to lighten the mood.

His eyebrows drew together and he brushed his thumb
across the top of my hand. “I’m so sorry, Tessa. Can you ever
forgive me?”

“
I want to, but it’s too soon,” I
whispered, sounding colder than I’d intended.

“
I understand,” he muttered,
dropping my hand. “Well, you must have wanted to talk to me about
something… so, here I am.”

“
I did,” I said. “I feel like I’m
going nuts. Please tell me all of this strangeness goes away over
time.”

“
I can’t tell you that because it
doesn’t. There are times though, when the human side of us is more
dominant than the animal. That will be when you feel the most
normal,” he answered carefully.

I didn’t look at him; instead I looked past him, out
into the darkness of the night. A million questions had swam
through my mind the last few days and now that I had the chance to
have them answered, I couldn’t remember even one.

“
Is there anything in particular
that you want to know, or do you just want me to begin explaining
the basics?” Jace asked, sounding more like a teacher than my
boyfriend, when I didn’t respond to his last statement.