Man Without a Heart (6 page)

'I suppose,' she said, fully aware of what she was doing, 'that I'm fed up with my own company.'

'Fed up
—
' He stopped in his tracks to stare down into her face. 'That's a strange thing to say when you're still a new bride —'

'My husband's time is occupied with his business. He's in Athens at present and won't be back until the weekend, or even later than that.'

A long pause ensued, and when Gilbert did eventually break the silence, his tone and words were hesitant. 'I'd ... er ... like to have dinner with you, Jill-that is, I mean, if you're lonely-because I'll be on my own, and it's no fun ... although don't think I'm not used to it. If I choose to come on these island-hopping holidays, then it's what I must expect.' He paused, but Jill did not speak. 'I do sometimes manage to get an amiable compa nion, though, and so if you...
?' His words ended on an unspoken question and Jill's hesitation was brief, for there was no harm, none at all. Adam had his fiancee and his pillow friends. It was all very amicable and free-their attitude toward each other.

'I'd love to have dinner with you,' she said, smiling, but went on to add that she must pay for herself. He began to protest, at which Jill pointed out quite reasonably that not only was she a stranger to him but also she had plenty of money as well. They went to a restaurant where they ate souvlaki and drank a local wine while watching four dancers and listening to the bouzouki music being played by six musicians at the far end of the restaurant.

The dancers, all youths, dart
ed and dived through the Zorba—
like syrtaki , while afterward two older men danced the more solemn tsamiko . Gilbert had seen the dances many times before, but, he said, he was always intrigued by the agility of the Greek men.

'Shall we dance now?' Gilbert looked at Jill and smiled. The Greek dancers had finished their performance, and a slow foxtrot was now being played.

'Yes.' She slipped into his arms, but her thoughts strayed to her husband, and she wondered what he was doing at this time-whether he was dining and dancing with Julia or with some other woman.

'It's hot in here,' Gilbert was saying some time later, and so they went outside for a stroll along the palm-fringed, moonlit shore. Time sped on, and it was after midnight when at last they were on their way to the villa in a taxi. 'Thank you, Jill, for a wonderful evening.' There was an odd inflection in Gilbert's voice as he stood by the wrought-iron gate of the villa and said good night. 'Ca n we do it again, do you think?'

'Of course, Gilbert.' She was affected by his charm of manner, the spontaneity of his smile. 'I, too, have had a wonderful evening.' She smiled her good night and hurried along the drive. She felt happy because she wanted to see him again, and surely that was a good thing?

Sunday arrived, and still Adam had not returned. Jill dutifully visited her mother-in-law, but for the most part she had been with Gilbert every day; they explored the beaches, lunched at several different cafeneions and tavernas, dined and danced and reached the point where Jill decided to tell him the reason for her marriage and that it was to end as soon as her mother-in-law died. Naturally he was amazed at the story but obviously happy at the thought that his friendship with Jill need not end when he left the island.

'As you know,' he said one evening when they were walking along the beach after their meal, 'I was intending to have only one week here, but I'd stay on if you'd agree to go about with me.'

'I expect that's possible, Gilbert.'

'And your husband won't mind?'

'Not at all. I've explained our arrangement. We both entered into the contract in a purely businesslike way, and so we're both free to do what we like.'

'It still seems an incredible story!'

'But it's a true one.' She smiled, thinking of the part she had left out that she had foolishly fallen in love with her husband. Adam arrived on Monday afternoon; she had already made a date with Gilbert to dine and dance at a seafront restaurant where their table was booked. She wasted no time in telling Adam all about Gilbert-that she and he had been keeping company for almost a week and that he was thinking of staying on in Corina so that their friendship could continue.

Adam stared disbelievingly at her for several seconds, a frown creasing his brow, and Jill added swiftly, 'Gilbert knows ours isn't a proper marriage, Adam. I told him everything because of the way our friendship was developing —'

'You told him everything?' Adam looked at her as if she had taken leave of her senses. 'You told a stranger about our marriage?'

'It was necessary. Surely you can see that?' Jill's nerves began to flutter even though she felt she had nothing to be afraid of. In going out with Gilbert she had done no more than take advantage of the freedom which had been agreed on at the time she promised to marry Adam.

'Am I to understand that this is a serious attachment?' he inquired at length. He was eyeing her coldly, his mouth tight, his jaw flexed.

'We've certainly become fond of each other,' she admitted, puzzled by his manner. He seemed to be suppressing anger, and she was impelled to add, 'The arrangement you and I made was that we would each be free to go our own way.'

'So long as my mother isn't hurt,' he snapped. 'That was the condition which, it would appear, you have forgotten.'

'I haven't forgotten anything about our agreement,' denied Jill with an indignant lift of her chin.

'Have you visited Mother while I've been away?' The dark Greek eyes flickered over her from head to foot, missing nothing-the slender lines, the seductive contours, the high, firm breasts secured in lace that showed through the lawn like texture of the white blouse she was wearing.

'Of course I've visited her-several times.' Jill considered that she had done her duty and resented Adam's attitude, since it was he who had said they would each have their freedom.

'Surely you realised the possibility of my meeting someone and falling in love?' She stopped rather abruptly, having caught herself in the lie, and glanced away, a catch in her heart. But determinedly she thrust out the reminder of her love for Adam, profoundly aware that it could, not possibly come to anything. She had to forget it-to push it right out of her consciousness every time it came to the fore, because that was the only way to become heart-free again and, in consequence, to turn her full attention to the most pleasant attachment that had come into her life. Gilbert was charming to be with, an intelligent conversationalist; he was tall and good-looking and his manners were impeccable. And if she didn't love him now, well, perhaps it would come in time.

Adam was silent, an unfathomable expression on his face. Jill could not understand his manner, or the long silence which, for her, was becoming uncomfortable. He seemed to be controlling his temper with difficulty. Her hackles rose, and so did her chin, but before she had time to speak, Adam had broken the silence to say, quite firmly, that he was not going to have his mother hurt by any action of Jill's.

'She'll be heartbroken if she ever learns you're friendly with another man.' His eyes were hard, like tempered steel. 'Your mother won't know anything about it.' Jill frowned at him and added, after a slight hesitation, 'I don't care for your attitude, Adam. I'm my own mistress, remember —'

'You're my wife,' he cut in sharply, 'and as such you will behave with an appropriate measure of discretion!'

Jill gritted her teeth, infuriated by the content of his words and the manner in which he had delivered them, in that magisterial way, his whole bearing one of arrogant domination. She said, determined to retain her calm in spite of the anger that consumed her, 'I haven't asked you who you were with in Athens, because I don't consider I have the right, our agreement being what it is. You were probably with Julia, or you might have been with another woman. As I've said, I've not asked because it's no concern of mine.' A silence followed, and she knew he was impressed by the quiet dignity with which her words were spoken. She looked intently at him, aware that he was still angry but, like her, was not intending to lose control.

'How long is this Gilbert staying on Corina?' he inquired at length.

'He's a schoolteacher, so he has about six weeks' vacation: He'll have another five weeks-but he might not stay that long,'
she added, even though she felt almost sure that he'd stay as long as was possible, just to be with her.

'You appear to have made a
good deal of progress in a very short time,' observed Adam unpleasantly.

'It was one of those things. We liked each other on sight.' Jill's lip quivered uncontrollably. The idea of her having a man friend was obviously annoying to Adam, but little did he know just how painful this conversation was to her.

'And when he's left, you'll correspond, I suppose?'

'Of course.'

'And you'll both be waiting for my mother to die.' A statement, and now his voice carried a bitter note not untinged with censure.

'I resent that!' she flashed indignantly. 'I'm no more anxious for your mother to die than you are. I've come to like and admire her; we're the best of friends, so why should I want her death?' Her colour fluctuated, the result of the angry emotion spreading over her. 'Gilbert knows how deeply attached I am to your mother, and, like me, he's resigned to our having to wait, In any case,' she added, aware that she was way ahead of the situation as it stood at present, 'we've not known one another long enough yet.'

'You say he's intending to stay here on Coring for another five weeks?'

'I said he might. His original intention was to take an island-hopping holiday, and he intended staying here for one week only.'

'But since meeting you
—he's decided to stay longer?' She nodded her head, and because she still resented his attitude, she said, changing the subject. 'Did you enjoy your visit to Athens? Did you see Julia?'

'It was purely a business trip; I didn't go for enjoyment.'

'But you saw Julia?' she persisted.

'I had business with her father; I visited his home, and naturally his daughter was there.' So matter-of-fact! And yet he was talking about the girl whom he would one day marry. 'It seems very strange to me that neither of you wants love in your lives.' It was a statement, but spoken rather breathlessly, because she was vitally aware, at this moment, of her own love for Adam.

'In Greece, arranged marriages are still common.'

'You're so coldly unemotional about it,' she said. He looked at her, an odd expression in his eyes. 'You're a romantic, obviously,' he remarked after a pause.

'I would like to have lo
ve in my marriage ...' Her voice trailed off, and she shook her head in a little helpless gesture that caught and held his attention.

'That sounds as if you're not too sure about your feelings for this man you've met.'

'As I said, we haven't known each other very long. We're attracted to one another, but obviously we've a long way to go yet before we're absolutely sure we can make a success of marriage.'

'Let us get back to the question of my mother,' said Adam impatiently. 'I can't have you going about with this man for another five weeks. Mother is bound to hear of it.'

'I can make sure we keep to the ot
her side of the island. Gilbert and I are thinking of renting a car between us, so it'll be easy to travel farther afield than we have been doing.'

Even as she was speaking, Adam was shaking his head. 'I won't allow it, Jill —'

'Won't allow
—' she exclaimed, staring in disbelief. 'Do you know what you're saying?'

'You're my wife
—' began Adam, when again she interrupted him.

'In name only!'

'That,' he returned with quiet emphasis, 'can easily be rectified.'

Her eyes flew to his. 'You must keep to our bargain,' she cried, 'especially now that I've met Gilbert!' It was a desperate statement; she knew she had to do anything she could to keep Adam from guessing her feelings for him.

She scarcely knew what to ex
pect-anger, mastery, or perhaps even violence. Instead he looked at her with a sudden frown and said, in the same quiet voice, 'We'll talk about it over dinner.'

'I'm dining with Gilbert. The table's booked.'

'You're not dining out this evening,' he told her inexorably. 'Phone this Gilbert and tell him that, as your husband is home, you'll have to give him a rain check.'

'I shan't!' Jill quivered from head to foot with anger. 'What's the idea-going back on the promise you made? I'd never have agreed to marry you if I'd had the slightest suspicion that you'd try to control my freedom!' And on that she left him, to go up to her room to shower and change in readiness for her evening with Gilbert.

Jill nodded, feeling heady with the wine and yet at the same time able to concentrate on what might occur when she arrived home. For Adam had been furious when she had insisted on keeping her date with Gilbert, and she rather thought he would have used force to keep her at home if such a measure had been at all possible. As it was, she expected some unpleasantness, but she had no intention of being browbeaten, of giving way to the demands which she considered unreasonable in light of the agreement they had made. She could find no excuse for Adam's attitude toward her friendship with Gilbert, especially as he was still secretly be-trothed to
Julia. Jill was determined to remind him of the fact that he had no authority over her whatsoever.

'The gates are open,' she heard Gilbert say as he swung off the main road into the drive which led to the villa. 'Shall I drive right in, or must I stop here?'

'You can drive right in,' she said recklessly, and stop at the front door.' That would let Adam see that she had no fear of him, that she intended to do exactly as she liked. He stopped the car and they sat for fully ten minutes, talking, and when at last she was getting out, he took her in his arms and kissed her.

'Tomorrow morning at half-past ten? I'll call for you?' Earlier they had decided to go off for the day, exploring the island, having both lunch and dinner out.

'Yes, that will be fine.' Gilbert was round at her side of the car, opening the door for her. She got out, coming close against him, and it seemed the most natural thing for his arms to come about her and for her to lift her face for his kiss. When eventually they drew apart, she happened to glance toward Adam's study.

He was standing on the verandah that ran the length of his
picture window, and even though it was impossible to see his
expression, Jill felt sure that it was far from pleasant.

No sooner had she entered
the house than he came from the
door at the far end of the hall, a tall, forbidding figure, a scowl
darkening his face. That black fury consumed him was evident,
and despite her previous resolutions, Jill knew a fluttering of
nerves, a tingle of fear affecting her spine.

'What do you mean by that e
xhibition outside my house?' he
demanded. 'What are the servants going to think?'

'As it's after midnight, I expect they're all in bed.' Jill's voice
remained calm, contrasting strongly with the movement of her
fingers, nervously playing with the ends of her hair.

Adam came close, towering above her, his anger obvious in the
little threads of crimson at the sides of his mouth.

'It will not happen again,' he gritted. 'Understand?'

Jill's chin lifted in a gesture of defiance. 'Are you giving me
orders, Adam?' she asked.

'Exactly!'

'Then you've obviously forgotten our agreement again. I'm my own mistress, get that!' Her temper was giving her trouble, but she was determined to retain her calm. 'I've kept to the terms
of that agreement by visiting your mother regularly, by playing the role of the happy bride so that she can be happy. I expect you to honour your part of the bargain and remember that I'm free to live my own life. I shall not be dictated to,' she added finally, and, brushing past him, ran up to her room, anger and resentment burning fiercely alongside an almost uncontrollable desire to weep, her love for Adam pressing to the forefront of her mind, unbearably painful in its futility. She realised that although she had spent a wonderful day and evening with Gilbert, she was now desperately unhappy because of the friction that was growing between Adam and herself. If only his anger had stemmed from jealousy....

Tears sprang to her eyes and she knuckled them away, then went to the bathroom to bathe her face. She decided to shower; it was all automatic, for her whole mind was occupied with her husband and his anger. What was he doing now? What was he thinking? Perhaps he regretted his marriage-but no, Jill was very sure that his mother's happiness was still of paramount importance to him, and undoubtedly his marriage had brought both happiness and contentment to what could prove to be the last months of her life.

After the shower, she slipped between the cool white sheets, but within minutes she got up again. All was quiet, so she did not bother to put anything over her nightdress as she went down to find the book she had been reading earlier in the week. On her return to the bedroom she stopped abruptly just inside the door, her heart doing a somersault as she saw Adam standing there in a dressing gown, an expression on his face that set every nerve in her body alert with apprehension. Instinctively she pulled at the ribbon which circled the neckline of her nightdress, gathering it over the graceful curves of her breasts.

She saw the sardonic twist of his lips at the action. He said in a very soft voice, 'Close the door, Jill, and come here.' She stood where she was, holding the book with a hand that trembled.

'I told you to close that door.' His steely eyes narrowed, but still she made no move to obey. She stood framed in the open doorway, a slender figure in gossamer nylon and lace, nervous tension building up as she noticed the burning desire in his eyes.

His intention was all too plain. He had previously asked her to
consider a natural relationship for the period of their marriage; now he was determined to take the matter out of her hands, having his way whether she liked it or not. He was all Greek at this moment, a Greek with pagan instincts. 

'Wh-what d-do you want?...' The question was phrased even while she was telling herself the answer, but she had to ask it nevertheless. She tried to add something to it in the nature of a protest, but her mouth was suddenly too dry for speech and she could only stare, his hypnotic gaze holding hers as his long, lean body came slowly and menacingly toward her.

'You know what I want, Jill.' Soft the voice, but anger vibrated deep within it. He was not only ready to take her for his pleasure, he was ready to take her in anger.

'Get out!' she managed, in choked accents, at last. 'This is my private bedroom and you've no right in it
—
'
she
got no further; the book dropped from her nerveless fingers as his hand closed on her wrist.

'Private!' he snarled, jerking her body and holding it close so
that she felt the compelling pressure of his thighs against her,
while at the same time he slammed the door closed with his
foot. 'Private, did you say? We'll see about that!'

'Leave me alone!' Jill began to st
ruggle, forcing her small fists
against the rock-hard wall of his chest. 'Have you no sense of
honour?'

'You're my wife,' he gritted, 'and I shall take what I'm entitled to!' Inexorable the tone; he seemed to have no compunction, no recall of the pact they had made when their marri
age was first being discussed.

'You're not entitled to anything!' She struggled in earnest, all her efforts concentrated on thwarting his intentions. But the powerful hands held her with infuriating ease, crushing her to him again in ruthless domination, and when his moist lips began their sensual travels along the petal-smooth curve of her throat, she quivered involuntarily and became aware of the first hints of desire spreading through her veins.

'Let me go,' she pleaded with a little sob. 'Remember your promise.' His roving hands were like warm shock waves, quickening her own desires, and under their impact she was becoming more and more alive to the masculine attractiveness of him, the sexual drive against which she would very soon have no resistance. She felt small and weak and was angry because it was a pleasant sensation.

'Let you go?' Her husband's straight black brows lifted a fraction. 'Do you expect me to stand by while another man enjoys the pleasure of my wife?' He held her from him, his steely eyes wide and arrogant, his mouth compressed to a line so tight that it seemed the blood had left his lips altogether. 'He isn't having the 'pleasure,' as you term it!' Tears shone on her lashes and there was a helpless expression in her eyes. Adam watched as if fascinated as she pressed a hand to her heart; it was an instinctive movement against the pain of her unrequited love, pain that was almost physical in its intensity. 'How can you accuse me of that!'

Adam fell strangely silent, and as the moments passed Jill began to wonder if he would take notice of her pleading and leave her alone. But her hope was effectually crushed by his next words.

'I've already said that the life we live here, together, is a strain for us both. The fact that you've attached yourself to another man only strengthens my previous conviction that we ought to live as a normal married couple until the time comes for us to part.' His voice hurt her because it was so dispassionate, so practical, without a glimmer of emotion, much less affection. 'That unnatural life is going to be rectified,' he went on inexorably, 'tonight. You'll be glad, eventually
—
'

'No, I shan't! I don't want you! I'm keeping company with Gilbert now, and it would be immoral for me to sleep with another man!'

'Immoral?' Adam's brows shot up. 'Since when has it been immoral for a wife to sleep with her husband?'

'You're twisting it just to suit yourself,' she accused. Tears were running down her cheeks, but they had as little effect on him as her desperate entreaty, 'Adam ... don't do this to me.' He made no answer, and she added, 'I have a certain loyalty toward Gilbert now-and he has certain rights. . . .' Her voice trailed away to a frightened silence as she realised how ill-chosen her words were.

Adam's nostrils were flaring, and little threads of crimson were creeping up the sides of his mouth. 'Do you know what you're saying?' Losing control of his temper, he shook her unmercifully, his fingers digging into the tender flesh of her shoulders so painfully that a little moan of protest escaped her. 'You're speaking to your husband about the rights of another man-another man!' He shook her again, adding further bruises to her arms. 'As your husband, I am the
only one who has rights-get that!' He released her and she staggered away, feebly shaking her head in bewilderment. For this pagan
-
like fu
ry was out of all proportion. '
True, he was her husband, but by their agreement he had no rights whatsoever, and he knew it. The piece of paper that was their marriage certificate meant nothing; it was her promise alone that bound her to him.

'You have no rights,' she began, but he interrupted her with an imperious flick of a hand.

'You're about to discover whether I have rights or not.' Reaching for her hand, he brought her toward him again, drawing her inexorably closer when she attempted to resist. He bent his head; she felt the heat of his mouth scorching her lips, ruthlessly grinding them apart for his tongue to enter and probe, while his hand in seductive exploration found and cupped her breast, tightly pinching the nipple to raise it to the hardness of desire. His dressing gown had come wide open, and the only barrier between his naked frame and hers was the filmy material of her nightgown.

Adam said, stepping away from her, 'Let's get rid of this encumbrance,' and before she had time to dart away, he had flicked at the ribbon she had pulled and was drawing the nightgown down from her shoulders. It fell around her feet, and he lifted her out of it, his strong fingers beneath her arms, his palms like fire against her breasts.

His dressing gown was just as quickly discarded, and Jill was in his arms again, his hands on her back sliding with lingering sensuality to flatten on her soft flesh, the fingers curling to enable him to take her weight as he arched her body toward him. His lips nibbled tenderly at her earlobes and the throbbing pulse in her throat, and he whispered throaty Greek endearments to her. Her body shuddered in response to his stimulation and her breath caught on a tiny sob because she knew she was lost. Her husband's hands were surprisingly gentle on hers as they lifted them to his shoulders, to hold them there, enclosed in warmth for a moment before putting them around his neck.

Her fingers automatically caressed his nape, exploring inexpertly to find sensitive places, until finally she thrust them into his hair, clutching it in a feverish outlet for emotions that were driving her to the point of complete surrender.