Make-Believe Marriage (4 page)

- He knows he has chances
of getting custody. - She said with tears rolling down her cheeks causing
immense pain to Antônio.

- I know my dear. -
Antônio spoke pulling her to his chest in order to lessen her pain. - He knows
of the immense love you have for Lucas and is using that to make you vulnerable
and so convince you to go back to him.

- I do not want to live it
all over again. - Amanda said leaning against his shoulder. She was tired of
the situation that seemed endless.

- Then marry me. - Antônio
spoke bending a little away from her body. The proximity was driving him out of
his mind and Amanda did not need such an attitude from him at that time. - When
you want to undo the marriage, we will arrange that. Regarding sex I would
never ask you something that you would not be willing to give. - She heard in
shame just to imagine such a thing. The possibility of having a sexual
relationship with him seemed distant but the spoken word gave her a thrill.

- I know you would not do
that, but I'm afraid that our friendship might be shaken. - Amanda explained.

- You will not lose my
friendship and I'm pretty strong to know what is best for me, do not worry
about me. - Antônio seemed self-confident.

- I do not believe it can
be as easy as you make it sound Antônio. - She doubted, mourning.

- It does not hurt to try,
does it? - He asked.

- All right. I promise
I'll think about it, but still do not believe it is the best option, although I
have no other. - Her time was closing in and she would have to decide what to
do sooner or later. At that moment she just wanted some peace and nothing else.

- In the evening we’ll
talk some more about this. - He finished. - Now let’s go and I’ll drop you
home.

Chapter
II

- Hello my love. Are you
ok? - asked Amanda when she heard her son's voice.

- I'm fine, Mom - he
answered with his child's voice. - I did not call you earlier because grandpa
took me to see a colt that had just been born. It is very beautiful Mom. - Her
son had great chances of being a veterinarian; he really did love animals. Amanda
smiled as she remembered the time when they found a stray starving and sick. The
child did not leave her alone until they took the little fellow to the vet and
left it there to be taken care of and then adopted. If they lived in a house
she knew she'd be have lots of cats, dogs, parrots and all he wanted to take
care of.  

- OK, my love. - She was
more excited than usual talking to her son. Maybe it was the latest events. -
How are the holidays? she wanted to know.

- I'm really having fun. -
Amanda heard knowing he would tell her all the details of the farm and was
happy to have more time with her son. The excited child described everything in
detail and only stopped when his grandmother said she wanted to talk to his mother.

- My grandmother wants to
talk to you, mother – he said after narrating his story.

- My darling, take care
yeah, big kiss. - Amanda said goodbye to her son, as he handed over the phone
to his grandmother and went chasing more adventures to tell her at their next phone
call.

- How are you my daughter?
- Her mother asked when she picked up the handset.

- A little tired mother,
but I’m okay – she said trying to keep her voice natural.

- Is there a problem
child? - Rebeca wanted to know, realizing that there was something wrong with
her daughter.

- That sixth sense that
mothers have is really incomprehensible. - Amanda smiled embarrassed. - It’s
Breno, mother. He's been here for two weeks now and I haven’t told you because
I did not wish to worry you. - there was a brief pause.

- You do not intend to go
back living with him, right, my daughter? - Rebeca asked worriedly. - After all
you've been through, seeing him in search for adventures and leaving you with
no means. That man does not deserve women like you - completed the lady.

- Do not worry Mom; I do
not intend to be with him again. - Amanda was sure of what she said; she would
not change her position. She was not alone, helpless, as she had been when
Breno left. There were people at her side helping her move on. Smiling, she
remembered Antônio, her guardian angel. A unique friend who, thanks to Breno’s
indifference, appeared in her and Lucas’s life bringing new colors to them.

- Amanda, why don’t you go
out with other men? - asked her mother to her surprise.

- I do not feel prepared
to start again, mother. Moreover, I'm always busy and when I have some time off
I prefer to use it on my son. - She defended herself.

- I know your life is
hectic my dear, but a new relationship would do you good and, of course, would
remove that guy from your life once and for all. The fact that he sees you like
that, alone, quiet, with no interest toward anyone else can lead him to believe
that you still love him and want reconciliation. - Her mother thought like
Antônio; this coincidence could be telling her something.

- I do not love him
anymore, you know that. - Amanda said it as if she knew what she was talking
about.

- Then make it clear to
him. I'm sure you have treated him well when he comes for you and that for a
jerk is a green light to follow towards winning you over. Change your life. Make
career plans, yes, but also think about your heart. Your emotional life. -
Mothers’ advices are always loaded with unique truth.

- You're right. I will
think about it - said Amanda realizing that now was the time. “If it had to be
that way, then it would be," she thought.

- Do it baby. Life cannot
stop because a relationship did not work out and excuses will not help at all,
understand? - "Her mother was a master at giving advice, and she was
right," thought Amanda. - I will have to go now, there are two hungry ones
here asking for food. Take care my daughter and do think about what we said. -
ended the mother.

- I said I'll think about
it mother. A big kiss. - it was all set. She would marry Antônio. Fate seemed
to have given him that chance, so she’d take it to get rid of the father of her
child. Other than that, time would be in charge of putting things in their
places. At least, she hoped so.

Amanda took advantage of
the late afternoon to prepare dinner. She had hardly left the house lately. She
was definitely, as her assistant would say, rusty and out of place in the
world. Thanks to her shop she always had formal and fashionable clothes. If she
did not own a boutique, certainly her wardrobe would be just like her: outdated.

After getting dressed and
putting on some makeup, Amanda was ready. A casual, flimsy, dress was her
choice. The weather was warm, which led her to dress lightly. Looking at the
mirror she liked what she saw. Her face was more expressive and bright,
although a large part of it was artificial. Her body seemed more straight and
elegant with the right dress just above the knees showing her well-groomed
legs. Amanda had always taken care of herself, but hadn’t done much in recent
months. Perhaps because her intention was not to be noticed by any man, so she
would be sure of no flirtation or probable commitment, which she did not want
so soon.

Antônio arrived at the
agreed time; in fact, promptness was one of his biggest virtues. He had many,
she concluded smiling.

- Would you like to go
somewhere special? - Antônio asked as they left the apartment.

- You choose where to go. -
She answered with no suggestion in mind.

- Can we go to that
restaurant near
barrinha
? The atmosphere is nice and we have the option
of the most reserved seats or not.

- Great choice. - Amanda
replied pretending naturalness.

- Is there a problem
Amanda? - Antônio asked when he realized she was trying to hide something. “Would
that dumbass of her ex-husband have bothered her again?" he wondered.

None! Why? - She replied
making Antônio move his head no. Grabbing her waist, he took her to the
elevator. - I talked to Lucas today! - She said as they went in.

- Really? How is he?

-Very happy. He loves the
farm. - She remarked smiling. - He asked for you. - Antônio smiled at what he
had just heard, because it was very pleasant for him to know that the child
remembered him, despite being in a wonderful place like a farm.

- Your son is a great kid.
I like him very much. - Amanda heard Antônio speak about her son, thanking him
with a smile and remembering how he had been important to the child in the
absence of the father.

- Did you tell him his
father is here? - He asked after a while.

Yes I did. - The smile she
had on her lips faded. - He was cheerful, but did not ask questions about his
father. I think Lucas closed himself up for that feeling toward his father. -
It was not what she would like it to happen, but she could not change what
Breno did by himself.

- I understand how he
feels. I was also abandoned. - Antônio commented surprising her. - But I had
wonderful people in my life that helped me a lot and sadness went away. Everything
passes, including pain. - He still felt the pain, Amanda could see, but had
certainly outgrown it. This is what really mattered.

- As you say, life must go
on. - Amanda spoke to erase the shadow that had come up.

- It must go on. - He
repeated. - Let me help heal this wound in Lucas and yourself – he asked. Amanda
looked at his hand on the car gear and imagined wearing a ring with his name. It
seemed so odd, but still felt some comfort on such a vision.

- Okay Antônio. I will
accept your help - said Amanda and Antônio tried to hide the smile so as not to
scare her. - I was talking to my mother early today. She thinks the way you do,
that I need someone in my life right now.

- We will do the way you
see fit. No need to be embarrassed should anything be different from what you
imagined or wanted, okay? - He asked catching her cold hand and then
immediately turned his attention to the avenue.

- Thanks again. I want to
leave this right open to you as well. Regardless of the moment, if you think it
is impossible to continue with this story I’ll grant you
carte
blanche
to step out of it as you please.

- I do not intend to do
this, but if it makes you feel more reassured, I accept. - Antônio said when he
saw her hands rubbing each other indicating anxiety.

Now please, let's go
‘cause I’m starving. I haven’t eaten well in days. - She asked, because since
Breno had come looking for her she had not had a quiet time like this.

On the way they talked
about it with more intimacy which left Amanda less concerned, Antônio did not
seem to mind the life they would have as friends.

The restaurant was not
full, which Amanda approved. She did not want glances toward them before she
was more certain of that decision. The town was not very big, so she always met
someone she knew when going went out with her son or Carol. She hoped this
would not happen that night.

- It would be prudent if
we went out more often together before marriage, so it will be easier for
people to understand and not make too many questions. - said Antônio when they
were sitting.

- You're right. - She
confirmed still unsure of her decision.

- Since you agree with me,
I believe you will not be upset if we start with this – he said taking out a
small velvet box from his pocket. - We can start our relationship with an
engagement or commitment ring, you name it. - Amanda thought it was too early
to wear one, but preferred not to sound ungrateful. No other man would do what
he was doing for her. To have your life stopped for months, or until God knows
when, for the sake of a friend, was no role that many men would play, but
Antônio was willing to do it and the least she could do was be grateful.

- It is so beautiful to be
worn as a lie – she said looking at the beautiful piece of jewelry.

- A lie that that we will
have to convince people it is true. - Antônio said putting the ring on her
finger and then giving her a light kiss on the lips.

- He needed not be that
good an actor. - Amanda thought and her heart felt as if it would get out of
her mouth. What an embarrassing situation that was. She felt like a chili pepper
feeling her lips touched by his. Antônio acted like as if that contact between
them was all too normal, but for her it was as if they had destroyed part of
the brotherly love they felt toward each other.

- If there are
acquaintances around, we should exchange a few caresses or we won’t convince
anyone. - He explained showing a couple in the background. - Amanda looked
suspicious. “They had to get the pretend going as soon as they declared
themselves a couple. It was bad luck for just one night”, she thought desiring
some more time for the situation to develop in her mind.

- You are always right. -
said Amanda at last. - I confess that I had not thought about it. - How to
think of something as absurd as a make-believe relationship? That seemed far
beyond her expectations.

- Do not worry, I'll think
for both of us. I do not want to give people a negative impression of me, that
I am a dry man, someone who does not show affection toward his future wife. -
Amanda marveled at his comment and both smiled together.

- You are out of this
world Antônio. - She seemed to be less tense.

During dinner they talked
about their careers. Amanda knew that in addition to successful, Antônio was
also an example within the company. She always knew he was a great
professional, especially when he had been invited to join the partnership of an
important company in the region. But hearing him talk a little more about
himself made her even prouder of her dear friend.

When she decided to open
her small business she had listened to his advice and put into practice many of
his ideas. Although he was trained in architecture Antônio was knowledgeable in
many other areas which allowed him to give her some opinions, thus being able
to invest and not have unnecessary losses.

- Do you wish to stretch
our night out a little longer or would you rather go straight home? - He asked
when they finished dinner.

- In our next appearance together
we’ll go to other places. Today I confess that was enough for me. - Everything
was wonderfully good, but Amanda still felt uncomfortable at his every caress,
no matter how small. Another thing that bothered her a little was that
beautiful ring on her right hand. It felt uncomfortable there, and sometimes
Amanda found herself turning it on her finger to relieve the finger. Antônio also
realized her stress, but said nothing.

When they arrived at her
apartment they agreed to spend Sunday together so people could see them
together and also discuss issues related to the wedding. When Amanda was alone,
she sat on the couch and buried her face in the pillow. What was she doing with
Antonio and herself? That situation could rather bring havoc to their lives, or
at least one of them. The contacts would have to be frequent and she did not
like to imagine being touched by a man, even if this man was her best friend. Something
told her that it would render emotions she was not prepared to live.