Authors: Amy Blakelear
I want to die.
The thought came unbidden into her mind. She immediately erased it. She did not want to die. But she needed an escape. To marry that man would be unconscionable.
After she had lost her Ma, Pa, sister and younger brother to typhoid, Ellie had kept on living in a daze. She had been working day and night tending to her sick family before they had died. She had been far from healthy herself, suffering from the same disease. Somehow she had escaped the jaws of death, but she had been left thin, weak, and somewhat clumsy.
There had been no income to continue renting the family home once her Father had died. There were no savings either. At that point Ellie had one family member left: her elder brother who was married to Ursula and living in Ursula’s house. He was also suffering from typhoid and Ellie had moved into their home to tend to him. Not long after that, her brother had died.
Ellie had stayed on at Ursula’s house because she had nowhere else to go. She did not complain when Ursula set her more and more household work. She felt grateful for the roof over her head and was too numb from grief to do anything but what she was told.
Ursula’s social circle had heaped praised upon her for allowing Ellie to continue living in her house, extolling Ursula’s sense of Christian charity. So although she wanted nothing more than to be rid of Ellie, Ursula would not turn her out on the street because it would ruin her Christian reputation. Selling Ellie off to be married was the perfect solution. Ursula could pay off her debts and rid herself of the ball and chain that was Ellie in one fell swoop.
I have no family now. Nothing to lose.
Ellie felt courage at the realization. Any last traces of loyalty to her step family were gone. They were planning to force her into marriage with an ungodly man. Selling her into virtual slavery.
Fragile and grief stricken as she was, she refused to allow this to happen. It would be a waste of her life to be used as a slave by these rotten people. Her Ma and Pa would have been horrified.
God, please help me.
Help me move into circumstances where I can lead a good life. Give me a sign, Lord.
Her spirit felt far away from her, a tiny voice within that she could barely hear. All she could do was keep her faith.
Ellie shivered and balled up her cold fingers, shoving them under her shawl as she drew it closer still. Birds called in the sky up ahead. She leaned her head back and watched their slim forms swooping. Swallows. She wondered where they were heading. Free.
She heard steps coming toward her and turned to see Briggs.
He looked at her with concern. “Come on miss, let’s get you home, you are looking as blue-skinned as a fish. I should not have left you outside for so long.”
They walked along together. The white-haired old man was tall and bony with a big, kind face. He balanced the brown paper bags of provisions at his elbows. Ellie was small beside him, the top of her bonnet level with his chest height.
“Miss, a thought occurred to me while I was in the store. My sister was in straitened circumstances at one time in her life. She had no means to support herself. She found a way out of her situation by placing an advert in the newspaper. All respectable of course, completely above board. My sister advertised her work skills and she ended up in a very good position in Connecticut as a housekeeper. It is only an idle thought of mine, so dismiss it by all means. But it could offer the chance of a new start for you.”
Ellie’s heart jumped. The prospect of marriage to Gergmins had filled her with gumption.
“I will do it.”
“Miss, are you sure? I don’t know if these set-ups always turn out all right. I mean we cannot guarantee the people will be good folk, and …”
“Briggs, anything is better than my future here. I must do it now before I lose my nerve. Where do I put the advert?”
“The newspaper office is coming up on our right. Passing it on the way here made my thoughts turn that way. It closes in half an hour. Do you have money? I think they charge twenty-five cents for up to forty words.”
They neared the newspaper office. “I have money. Briggs, leave me here, I want to do this myself. And don’t worry, I’ll take responsibility if it doesn’t work out. Give me one of those bags to hold so Ursula won’t shout at me for not having bought the provisions. Go on now.” Ellie pushed Briggs on down the street. “This is what I want to do.”
Briggs carried on walking with a half-worried, half-encouraging glance behind him. Ellie ducked down a side street and extracted the emergency coins she had stashed away in the hem of her dress. Her Ma had taught her she must hide some money away like this, carrying it with her at all times.
“Thank you, Ma,” she whispered as she kissed the silver and blue enameled locket that always hung around her neck, given to her as a little girl by her Ma.
She entered the newspaper office, trying to look casual as if this were the most natural thing in the world for her. She scanned the notices pinned up on the walls. There it was.
Place Your Work Adverts By Close Of Business Today. Next Day Publication.
The newspaper clerk behind the desk watched her inquisitively over his half moon spectacles.
When she came to write the advert, she simply wrote what flew into her mind at that moment.
Little bird wishes to fly away. Am skilled housekeeper willing to work all hours. 21 years of age, of good nature and upbringing. Require live-in position to start immediately. Please send travel tickets by return post.
Chapter 3
Ellie retraced her steps back to the terraced house. She felt quite different to when she had rushed out only a short while before. In place of anger there was calm resolve. When she had made the decision to place an advert, a shift had occurred within her. She would do whatever it took to get away from here. She would never let herself be married to that man.
Ellie tried to slip back into the house as quietly as she could, but Ursula heard her. A sharp voice came from the front room.
“Ellie! Come here!”
Ellie groaned. Ursula had probably been sitting waiting for her the entire time. All Ellie wanted to do was run to her room and fling herself down on her bed. With a heavy heart she took off her shawl and made her way to where Ursula sat.
Ellie knew she must not show the slightest inkling of her thoughts to Ursula. She quickly processed in her mind the best way to come across so that Ursula would not suspect she had an escape plan. She had to behave exactly as she had always done while she waited patiently for a reply to her advert.
“Did you get the provisions, Ellie,
dear
?” Ursula spoke the word “dear” but she meant the opposite. Her voice was heavy with sarcasm.
“Yes, ma’am, I have a bag here, and … Briggs has the other bag, please ma’am.” Ellie hesitated, not wanting to disclose she had been talking to Briggs.
“Why did you get him to do your work? You really need to start taking your responsibilities seriously, Ellie. You can’t just please yourself and do as you wish.”
Ellie looked at Ursula silently. She was blasted if she was going to apologize when she hadn’t done anything wrong.
Ursula shot daggers at Ellie through her eyes and decided to move on to her next subject.
“You met your husband-to-be. I wanted it to be a pleasant surprise for you. This has been a lot of work for me to set up, I hope you appreciate that. You are extremely lucky he agreed to accept you. You will be marrying into his house, which he owns, and you will then be a respectable member of society. It is for your poor deceased brother that I do this, God bless his soul.”
Ellie stared at Ursula and kept her mouth firmly shut. She clenched her jaw and refused to say a word, which infuriated Ursula. When Ellie did not speak she could not be attacked so easily.
Ursula raised her voice. “What is wrong with you, can you not speak?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Ellie looked right back at Ursula. She was not going to be afraid of her anymore.
“You will be expected to be there at the wedding. It will be held here at the house, five weeks from now on Saturday. Do you understand?”
Ellie decided she must be totally compliant with her words. Agree to the wedding and behave as if she were cooperating. Go along with the plans as if she had reconciled herself to her new future.
“Yes ma’am. May I be excused now, ma’am?”
“Get away from me, I do not want to see your face. Once you have put away the provisions, mop the kitchen floor again. It was not done to a proper standard this morning.” Ursula turned back to reading the newspaper, sighing with an air of great suffering.
Ellie removed herself from the room immediately, put away the provisions and re-mopped the floor as fast as she could. Finally she rushed up to her tiny attic room at the top of the house. It was more of a cupboard than a room. There was a miniature window in the roof and two thin mattresses where she and the other maid slept. She launched herself face first onto her mattress and lay there immobile like a doll, letting the tears come out as they would.
The tears dropped from her eyes as a release of the shock she had endured, but Ellie did not feel so upset any more. She had made a decision to do something and she had acted on it immediately. That cheered her up better than any amount of wailing would have done. Now she had hope. She had a way out. A
possible
way out.
Ellie heard a soft tap at her door and she drew herself up from her bed. Not wanting to look upset, she hastily swept away her tears and patted her hair into place.
“Hello?”
“It’s Briggs, miss, may I come in?”
“Oh Briggs, come in.” His open face with its mild blue eyes and fluffy tufts of white hair sticking out above his ears popped around the door. Ellie smiled at him. “Be careful Briggs, Ursula will make your life difficult if she finds out you are talking to me.”
“Huh.” Briggs rolled his eyes, showing just what he thought about that. He entered the room and perched awkwardly on the corner of the dresser. “Excuse me for coming in here, miss, I wanted to check up on you. Did you put the advert in? I feel responsible, having suggested it myself.”
“I put it in, Briggs. I did it. Do you really think someone will reply? I said I would be a housekeeper.”
“It worked for my sister.” Briggs studied the small patch of sky he could see through the window and appeared thoughtful. “In fact, I am pleased you are giving it a try, though I worry who might reply. I have heard rumors about this Gergmins man they want to marry you to. Bad things are being said. You are better off taking a chance on a new situation than being sure of a bad one here.”
“It wouldn’t surprise me at all if there are rumors, Briggs. The expression on his face is enough to warn me something is wrong.”
“You are perceptive, miss. And they are facts more than rumors. I have it on good authority. A friend of mine worked at his house for a short time. Let’s just say that Gergmins is known to take out his frustrations on his staff. He’s been wanting a wife for some time now, but a number of arrangements have fallen through.”
Ellie nodded as she listened intently. “I see.”
Briggs breathed in noisily through his nose and his eyes looked fierce. “It sickens me that Ursula is willing to turn you over to that beast. Your life would be over if you became his wife. I am sorry to be so blunt, miss, but it is the truth.”
Briggs had come to care for Ellie like a granddaughter. He looked visibly shaken by the revelation today.
“Ellie, I will do whatever I can to help you. I know the clerk at the newspaper office so I can help you check for mail there. One or other of us will check at least every day. We just have to get you out of this house and far away from Gergmins.”
“Thank you, Briggs.” This good man’s heart made all the difference to Ellie. He was the only human being alive who cared about her.
Ellie’s brow furrowed as she thought things through.
“Briggs, what if it doesn’t work, what if no one reads my advert? And even if someone does read it, will they accept me on the basis of my words alone and send me a ticket to come to them? There isn’t enough time for letters to travel back and forth. I need an immediate acceptance. And I can’t just run away with nowhere to go, I would end up in the poorhouse. I must have a live-in job to go to.”
Briggs tried to look as confident as possible for Ellie’s sake.
“Someone will see that advert and want you, Ellie. You must have faith.”
Chapter 4
Deep in the prairies, Oregon State.
Grammy Ford relaxed in bed with her cup of tea, the covers all drawn up around her. She munched on a toasted biscuit, not minding the few crumbs that flew out.
Maybe that’s not what refined ladies do, but I’m not one to care about that.
She’d never considered herself a refined lady and was actually rather proud not to be counted among their ranks.
Up on the top two floors of their palatial dwelling Grammy had her own wing of rooms. Her attic bedroom was the main room where she sat.
The ceiling of the room was so high, and the window so large, that there was no hardship involved in living up in the eaves of the house. On the contrary, the room had the advantage of providing the best views of any spot in the building.