Authors: Amy Blakelear
“I don’t know what to say, Cousin Harriet. I had not thought in much detail.”
“Now is the moment, Jared, though I see you feel unsure. You take your time. But you must admit, she is truly a fair woman?”
“That she is.”
Ellie felt queasy. Did Harriet not notice she was here? She was right here, washing their dinner plates. She was being treated like a servant. Harriet spoke of the most personal things and treated Ellie as if she were invisible. Harriet mentioned the marriage as if it were a business deal.
Maybe that’s what most marriages were, a way to join family fortunes and increase social standing. Ellie sighed to herself quietly.
“Do not tell me your thoughts now, Jared, but think on it. I can tell you that Anne is most interested in you and very keen to marry. I can vouch for her character of course. A sweeter woman you could not find.”
Ellie thought of Anne, of her beauty and the way her height and impressive dress threw everything else around her into poor relief. By comparison Ellie felt dull and small, and incompetent to boot. Why could she not stop breaking things? The feeling of being despised as a nothing came back to her, from those long years with Ursula.
Ellie looked out of the window as she scrubbed the dishes in the sink. A large gray cloud was coming in from the west, marring the perfect blue sky.
Anne and Grammy appeared around the corner of a building, Anne’s cream and pink satin dress rippling and crinkling in the wind as her blonde hair shone. Anne towered over Grammy and angled her head down, smiling graciously. She appeared to be making every effort to charm the old lady.
Ellie lowered her eyes so they would not see her watching them. Maybe this had happened to put her in her place. Stop her wanting so much.
Chapter 25
The following morning Jared had awoken in a bad mood. He had put Harriet off the day before, having been polite to his cousin without committing himself to anything. Anne had come back in with Grammy and had found her voice. She had used it to rave about the size of the land, how large the house was, and how pretty things were.
Jared had been impatient to see them go. He had waved the pair goodbye, stomped out of the house, got on his horse Jessie, and rode off to be alone for the rest of the day. Out there on the prairie, with the winds on his face and his dogs beside him, he felt free again.
When he had heard Harriet’s plans for him it had been a shock. He had struggled with a feeling of being constricted and controlled. He had fought an overwhelming urge to get out of the room.
Still, he knew that for all her faults, Harriet was not a bad person and surely meant the best for him. It was just that her intense dark eyes trapped him. He felt like a hunted lizard, quivering as the prairie falcon zoomed in for the kill.
Harriet had certainly calculated on Anne as an ideal wife for him. A fine looking lass, Jared had to admit. Blonde and buxom. Big round hips, tall and strong. Of good family and character. And Harriet had said his Ma had wanted a woman of good standing for him.
Had his Ma really said that? It was the first Jared had heard of his Ma’s wishes. He wanted to do right by his Ma. If a good marriage was her wish for him, then he ought to consider this proposal.
But if this woman was so ideal, why did the situation irritate him so?
Jared grinned wryly to himself as he rode along. Maybe he wasn’t the hot red-blooded beast he thought he was. Yes, she was comely, but maybe he needed to get to know a woman before letting her hogtie and brand him for life. Perhaps once he spent more time with the woman it would feel more natural.
Jared shook his head as if to free himself from his thoughts.
He had been feeling strangely light in the past few weeks. Things had felt effortless as if everything had slotted into place. That sad feeling he had experienced in front of the fire the night before Ellie came was dissipating away.
Without warning, his inner sadness was becoming more distant. For the first time in a long time, he was feeling genuinely happy. Something real was growing in his heart, some kind of strength, something deep and true.
Just as the seasons change, something within him had shifted. It had happened naturally, as if it had been patiently waiting for him all along. As if it were meant to be. Just waiting for the right time to blossom.
He had been feeling high on these new emotions, flying through the days like a kite on the wind.
With the two ladies in the house to help, his daily life had become a source of simple happiness. Genuine laughter and joy bubbled up naturally from within him. He didn’t have to put on a good face for the world any more, as he had done for years after he had lost his parents. The happiness came naturally now.
He loved waking up in the morning and getting himself downstairs as fast as he could so he’d have more time to joke at Ellie. He didn’t mind admitting he felt more alive just having her around the place. He looked forward to seeing her face at the dawn of each day.
She looked healthier now. She had looked so pale and stick-like when he had first seen her at the station, he had been worried she might break.
Grammy, as always, had been right of course. Ellie had rounded out with some good meals, rest, fresh air and proper sleep. The life out here had put a sparkle in her eye and a dimple on her cheek, and it suited her.
Now he had Ellie as a housekeeper, he couldn’t really see himself letting her go. But then, Harriet had said he would not need a housekeeper once he married. Women understood these things. Harriet was probably right, you cannot have two women running a household. Being a housekeeper was the rightful role of the wife.
In two days, Ellie’s trial as housekeeper would be over and he would have to make a decision. Decide what would be the right thing to do for him, for the homestead, for Grammy, and for Ellie. And to make sure he honored his Ma and Pa’s wishes.
“Come on Eric, Fairy!”
Jared raced across the open fields on his horse, letting his thoughts fly to the wind. Grammy used to tell him that thinking too much was bad for the heart. She was right.
All he knew was things felt better now his cousin Harriet and Anne had left. Now they were gone, he didn’t have to think about any of it. He could race with the prairie winds streaming back his hair, chasing down the raspberry pink liquid sun as it slowly sunk down behind the hills. Dark clouds reared up behind Jared as he rode straight into the sunset.
Chapter 26
When Jared finally got home it was later than his usual time for finishing the day. He unsaddled Jessie and gave him a good rub down in the stalls. They had raced fast that evening, chasing the sunset as if it held all the answers.
Jessie was in prime condition. Jared knew the horse was dedicated to him, ready to help in any way it could, and that they would ride together through whatever life threw at them.
Jared gave Jessie a good feed, extra water and a blanket for the night. He decided that the horse would be given the run of the pastures tomorrow as a reward for racing so well today.
“You can feed up on juicy spring grass and wildflowers, Jessie, you’d like that, wouldn’t you boy?”
Jared walked through the dim early evening to the house. As he came in, he could see Grammy in the front room knitting in front of the fire. Bessie was at her feet sleeping contentedly.
“Good ride?” Grammy sometimes had an uncanny ability to know what he had been up to.
“Sure, I’m whacked now though. What’s for supper?”
“We had ours early, Ellie said she had some work to do clearing out the barn. Food’s keeping warm for you on the stove.”
Jared felt that things were back to normal again and he gladly devoured his meal. He appreciated that Grammy didn’t feel the need to talk about Cousin Harriet’s visit. Grammy correctly sensed that Jared wanted to be left alone. She quietly continued her knitting as Jared ate. Once he had finished, Grammy cleared up the dishes. She bade him goodnight and went up to bed, Bessie trailing behind her.
Jared relaxed in front of the fire after his meal, nursing a rare glass of whiskey and making a point of not thinking too much. Eric and Fairy slept at his feet.
How would this feel, with Anne sitting across from me? Would she make pretty conversation, doing some embroidery for her fine dresses?
The thought surprised him and he laughed at himself.
No point thinking about it. Forget it.
Jared had an impulse to walk out to the barn to see what Ellie was up to. It always cheered him up to have a joke at her. She was probably mending and cleaning things by lamplight. Always had some kind of project on the go, that girl.
Something within Jared made him hesitate, and he stopped himself from going out to the barn. It didn’t feel right to go seeking her out at this time of night. No, it was best to let her alone so she could do her job undisturbed.
Bed would be a better idea.
“Come on then boys,” Jared stood and stretched. “It’s time for us to go up.”
The three of them trudged up the stairs to Jared’s attic room which had a view over the back of the house. Jared looked out and he could see the warm glow of a kerosene lamp in the barn. Ellie, still working away as he had guessed.
Jared got into bed and lay down. The events of the day had got under his skin and he didn’t sleep fast and deep like he usually did. He drifted in and out of slumber for some hours. Finally, Jared turned in bed to face the window and opened his eyes. Bright moonlight was streaming in. Maybe that’s what was keeping him wakeful.
Jared heard a whining and scratching from somewhere in the depths of the house. He raised his head a little and listened again. Another whine and a muted yelp. Was one of the pups in trouble? He sprung up. Silent as an Indian, he softly padded out so as not to wake anyone.
The shadowy gallery corridor wound around the house in a circle, passing each of the attic bedrooms on the way. Jared quietly made his way along to Grammy’s room, the dark wooden corridor lit up black and white by shafts of moonlight.
He reached Grammy’s room but the scratching came from farther along. He spotted a little gray wiry bundle alone in a heap.
“Little fluffy one, what’s up with you?” Jared murmured as he scooped the mite up. It gave a small yelp in reply.
“Grammy shut you out?” Jared looked into the eyes of the whining little puppy. It looked like the pup had been shut out of Grammy’s room by mistake, separating it from Bessie and the rest of the litter.
“I can’t disturb Grammy now. Come on, you can sleep with me. I might have something to eat for you too,” Jared whispered in the pup’s ear. He didn’t make a sound as he continued on his way around the circular corridor back to his room.
Jared saw a steamy fog emerging from Ellie’s open door, lit up silver by the moon. He could smell the delicate scent of herbs on the steam. Without thinking Jared turned his head as he passed. He stopped in the shadows.
Ellie was standing with her back to him, about to step into her bath. Jared froze, unable to pull his eyes away. She was folding and pinning up her hair, wearing a white under-dress edged in lace. Her slim brown arms moved deftly with the pins. Jared stood there silently, mesmerized and motionless, his hands over his beating heart as he held the wriggling puppy.
Jared’s breath caught in his throat as he watched Ellie standing in the moonlight, fragrant steam billowing up around her from the tub. As she reached to unbutton her dress and let it fall, Jared quickly turned his face back to the dark corridor, shocked at himself.
What am I, some kind of peeper?
Jared crept back to his room. His heart beat faster than before as his mind completed the picture he had almost seen.
Chapter 27
The next day, Ellie awoke hours before dawn, feeling fully alert and awake. She had only managed to get one hour of sleep. She felt there was no point in lying there wasting time, so she got up and started her day.
The night before she had worked late into the night mending tools in the barn. She had needed to be alone with her thoughts. When she had finally come back to the house it was past midnight. She had taken a long hot bath with herbs to ease her aches and had got into bed. Her eyes had closed, but for some reason her entire body was on overdrive, refusing to let her sleep properly.
Ellie felt driven to achieve. Something within her pushed her to work every hour that God gave. She was only too aware that her trial period at the Ford household was soon to be over.
She knew that she might lose everything she had come to love over the past month. So she was trying to fit in all the possible work she could in the last hours of her time here, before the decision for her future was made. In truth, she was trying to improve her chances of being kept on as a housekeeper by working extra hours.
There was another reason why she was working so hard. It helped to clear her head as she tried to reconcile her feelings of longing with the reality of her situation.
The visit from Harriet and Anne yesterday had brought everything into stark contrast. When she had heard that Anne was being proposed as a wife for Jared, it made Ellie realize that she had not completely quashed her feelings for him. Not completely at all. Her heart seemed to have a mind of its own, however much she had tried not to care for him.